Friday, May 20, 2011

"sorry" just doesn't do it--

it's the inexorable "vengeance"

we call "justice"--

the unyielding unmerciful punishment

that counts--

but even "good" will come out of this enlightenment--

once you've disabused yourself of childish notions

of a "Just Loving Creator"--

you'll be free of the guilts and sicknesses

that the mental illness of "religion"

will implant in your psyche--

you'll be spared your self-hatred

projected as blasphemy as some idiotic notion of "God"--

you'll be free to be in tune with

the True Source of Light and Life--

as unknowable in any dimension of conditioned

creation as here in this particular world--

and at long last you'll be granted the opportunity

to find out who you really are--

then your struggle to live an authentic life will be much more

than a crazed wrestling with yourself in your room

on nightmare sheets of a bed like a granite crypt slab--

it won't be a miraculous intervention--

it won't happen instantly and you'll be "changed--changed utterly"--

it will happen little by little--step by step--one free gracious act

at a time--until you no longer are keeping any count of your steps--

you won't care about anything but what happens right in front of you

at the very moment of its happening--you'll no longer try to distinguish

a heaven and an earth--and you'll stop bowing and scraping

before other people's idols--

this is at the bottom of everything I've ever written--despite

the backslides--the advances--the hurt--the humor--my own

petty struggles to let this be--no luck--no chance--

no divine intercessions--just the continual unfolding

of the way forward and the falling away of every misery

we've ever put ourselves--in the name of "vengeance" "atonement"

"penance" "justice"--

if you trust these words--don't ruin their application

with egotism--and if you mock them

may you find this way in your own time--

be glad and

just think of the possibility of of no longer undergoing

the self-punishment of trying to be God...


Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

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