Tuesday, August 25, 2009

so
much
to
explain

and
nothing
you
would

want
to
hear
about...





Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Monday, August 24, 2009

unfortunately for the
overly-sensitive soul

memory is the content
of the soul and no experience

is ever lost--so when we lose
our way forward

all we can do is fall back on
everything that brought us to this point--

even if we didn't get
what we thought we wanted--

and this hurts the most--
the gaping hole where a want--a need--

a love that should have been
was not--


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

there is little left to hate you for...

you pulled your shit
and I pulled mine--

and here is what I love the most...

you're stuck in your shit
and I'm free from mine



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
two incomplete portions
joined in one imperfect lie--

we don't know anything
but our side of the tale

(and even then--not always)
but oh we only know

what we know--which is
nothing at all---



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

screw the ones who wouldn't take me
and fuck the ones I couldn't have--

it's only the love that finally came
that gives me strength to dismiss these damned assholes--





Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I am at a loss to say
what one way or the other
will lead me to--

but then I'm not beholden
to the urgings of
good decent folk--

those murderous maws
yammering for security
without whom no tyrant

can triumph--
I have nothing with them
but the same yawning void--

and these sad pronouncements
of sorrow and of pride
are merely my way

of ruining the air--
finding (there is no negative value)
what I am at a loss to say--




Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

this is how we say good bye here on earth--

always with the notion
that we will just be gone a few minutes
and will be right back--
how many said that

not knowing until later
that who you told 'see ya later'
has gone--died--moved--is ashamed--hates you--

and lifetimes yet before some ultimate reunion...


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
Well I spoke

and a piece of the sky didn't fall on me--

unless coming from so high up
it did and has yet to reach me


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I
want to
wrap up some
old business but it
keeps unraveling when I try

to tie the knot tight

so old business becomes new
the harness good and
the blade sharp--
forward I
cut



*

I am so rarely good
but never as bad as I think I am
except when I try to draw
some lesson from it--


*

so this is how it all comes out--

forget all the weatherman interpreters
of bibles and korans
and mayan myths--
these books aren't prophecy
they're accurate depictions
of life in the earth AS IS

easy then to say 'so this is how
it all comes out'
the struggles
aren't evil
they are just the processes
of the world as fashioned

and each of us alone must find the way out--

do not think too hard about it
'he who would save his life will lose it'

give it away
if you would know
such increase as

enlightenment--


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
no
honor
anywhere--

the ravening beasts are loosed--

pity the brute
killing
everyone
he sees
because
his
maniacal world of hate

is slipping away from him--

pity also
the
radiant free souls
expecting
a totally transformed world
for they will do nothing
but what has ever been done--

work the earth
to feed all
and being shat on
for doing so--
the only manifestation of holiness

in the pained grace of their sorrow--

a great change of mind will change the world--

'n' we ain't there yet...



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I
am
the
end
of
the
old--

the
world
has
had
my
time--

I
had
my
time
and
miss

it
so
much
I
cannot
go

forward--
but
souls
of
a
time

must
do
their
time
and
while

they
cling
to
the
time
they

are
in
I
am
the

end
of
the
old
at
least

for
the
next
25,000
years
at
least--





Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

beseiged--

the wolves abound--
beast unleashed

evil discarnates must be back
for the big showdown
starting right now with
earthquakes and tidal waves
under the eclipses's shadow

while a dry Euphrates
crumbles farther west

and the ravenings have begun in
earnest--

God grant we who'll none of it

meet safe on the other side--

what else can a soul do as it's whirled
around the culmination
of a Grand Plan's process?
as we can only say

meet safe on the other side--



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

no oafs please











Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Friday, August 7, 2009

giving last rights
to a misguiding dream
that sealed a fate
so many years before

would take more grace
than available to me
I confess and acquiesce
anoint the fiasco

and close a door...


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.


in proud tears we wash the wound
and in weary vacancy puddle into the tomb



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
no hurt is so unhealing
as pride

and our defects dictate
the state

of our cure and its scab
the lesson

our memory ever effusive
of reasons

why we had to or not
what our

motives our justifications
our explanations

are due our own recovery--
pride-halted wholeness...


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I see it will be a while yet before all
the forces are deployed and humanity sink or swim
by its own degree of holiness--

but how's that different from any other time alive
on this ever-rickety world--arm out
the hand grabs a side the legs and feet kick and churn

and buoyance afforded the physiology of the will?--
I see it will be a while before we even think to wonder...


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.


pale at last before the spreading curve of growing sun
slicing away finely the edges of night

I feel for the mournful dawn of youth
(the young LOVE the night LOVE its cover

LOVE its release) when they will awaken
naked like all before at one time or another

and know the seductive power of memory
pale at last before the first tip glowing over the water--




Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

I will have no more to do
no more to say
no more to care--

if someone wants me
let them look
at the leaves--

at the sky--
at the eyes of their lover--
I won't mind--

I will have no more to do
no more to say
no more to care--



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I said goodbye
because I wanted to--
there was nothing to be gained
by overstaying my welcome
and watching the warm friendly feeling
cool to a dismissed formality--

but then its so easy to be friendly
when you don't have to give of yourself
too generously--so easy to disregard the whole
charade of good company when it gets to close
for you to control--better hope that troll
to whom you're engaged will be endless in service

you might have to find out the hard way
you overspent your faux good will and better settle--


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
try not to let your sense of perfection ruin anything

I know its hard for you
not to touch
not to obsess
not to get involved
in what is not your business
except to the degree
to which you think it or
anything is your business--

no--
you who can't leave well enough alone--
you must trust
One knows better than you
how the sun must rise
and how the earth strains up to meet that

perfection--


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the return to earth
is always the hardest experience
of the soul

you've done what you had
in the world to do
it stands quietly
in its own being
and you have no other reasons
to which to look forward

and just when your moment of departure
rears up
and your soul feels the tug
of the cord and lifts
out of its accomplished human shell
a thought occurs
and the light to which you are carried
is no longer quite so
blinding and beautiful
because the awareness sets in that
not all you've done in the earth
has succeeded
in the eyes of the One--

and so not quite admonished
but lovingly tended
and soothed by attendant souls
who remember the awful
material world
with its beauties and joys--true--
but also its scars and
disappointments--easing you back
into the dimension
just outside earthly living--
you rest meditate and
aid others through the veils dividing
the worlds--

oh then--then when
it is time to go back for
the atonements and the lessons--
the soul rises and comes
to drink deeply
of the waters of forgetfulness--
to forget the loving peace of the
spirit world--
to forget the bundles of sin
that have accumulated
from earthly life to earthly life
so their weight won't crush
this lifetime's effort to atone
and to learn--
to forget all enticements
that would bewilder and mislead
the soul from its purpose--

then the soul rises--
awareness blank as a void--
and is drawn to its next vehicle--
its next human identity--

then--then
the bittersweet ache of being
alive in the earth
will well up in memory--
the pains and the joys
drawing down the soul

then--the soul
undergoes
its hardest experience--
the knowledge
of unlimited life--
limited to this particular
body--
its being--its place in the world--
the time of its duration--

one more time
into yet another breach
for One who created us

for some reason--



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.


I will pay for much that much I know
but I for the most part enjoyed it



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
now see what you've done--

everything was great
until you went and repented--

now you kneel in a dark box
talking to a priest playing with himself

while you confess made-up sins


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I give you plenty to dwell upon--

see--I'm not the only one without a clue
but I don't let it bother me anymore--

I've been flummoxed for life awaiting
this new world manifesting--

the Lord"s Day feels like any other day to me--


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
the turning has been made--

our geography shifts around us

and we spiral
up or down hardly matters

all our previous directions flow into one channel
invisible unwalled yet intractible

and we follow it--vast nothingness before us

and no sight of what was left behind the turn...


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I gave up misguided effort
and drifted with the current--

oh make no mistake--
it DID take work to stay afloat

and people--because they avoid their interiors--
have no clue of the negative way--that is

paring away at what is NOT to arrive
at an approximation of what IS--

so don't think I ducked something--
nobody gets away with ANYthing

you just learn different things than those
who bravely rest on the surface and never have to face

those depths until their time is called
and the cosmic riptide pulls them away to wherever...




Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I wound it up

it came unwound

so I unwound it

it stayed unwound

a lesson in materiality

where spirit is energy

and informs the dynamic--

as is



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
within each moving cell of the blood

a million Calvarys nurture
the sacrifice of creative process--

the soul on its own cross of body
bleeding through tiny daily wounds

pouring in its sweat of existence
that nurturing blood that is

100% Living Water...



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.


there is no hope for the romantic--

his imperfect love will
feel every rough edge in creation

and feel his glory a dupe for his pride



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I renew my vows every day--

to focus actively on others--
to celebrate their uniqueness--
to be at one with a program of kindness--

but tomorrow will be a day

when vows will change--
and earth will reassert--
isolation--sameness--and ennui--

tomorrow I'll be in a changed world--

charged awareness scouring
ramshackle ruins for ghosts of the fearful
clinging to their plots--

tomorrow new vows--

to admit life as is--
to realize essence in each waxing and waning form--
to prize the peace unknown to our ordinary minds



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
just a shortness of mind
dominating a reason a purpose
a new application to transform these gifts

a growing inability to process rational thought--

or just ballyhooing excuse for sloth

mind still shrewd enough to clock its audience
check its pulse for result of exalted chant
step into the empyrean and beat it quick


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
am caught in torrent
spinning until I'm sick
throw me that rope
that line that necessary hook





Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I do not lack for imagination
but am somewhat stymied in application

spirit needs a body to work
said the mother of skies

but this body only holds
a soul and it has curdled

from too much mother's milk
too much bound


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
a man will always blame a woman for his misfortunes


*

oh agonies of heart (cue the thunder and the rolling ship)
she done him wrong
she just no good
she scream and scatter and rant and impose
her will like a grate of iron
oh agonies of heart

how dear the bottle...the immense imagination
and the saving grace of fallen pride--

*

let us break the spell
she's hell and so are you

whatever your slights
and miscues

you both have a handle
(deux ex bungee)

on the magic that
breaks the spell...



Contents (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

now time has finally disappeared

and my life is my act
and my act is its own end--

I am at the mercy of morons
being a moron
pompous teacher
who could not teach--

(shame is a great corrective
and if holiness were vast as shame
it would be honest--
it WOULD be justice tempered with mercy--)

zo all god's chillun be morons?
man dat ain't all--
sarcasm will belittle irony
but being a moron

I cannot teach and could not try
I learn by osmosis and take forever to die--

but I'm free to bark and rage and rant
and I'll do it even if my neighbor can't--

all I do is me and done

as time now finally disappears



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito



enough to do
without the uncertainty
of result--

the moment dead
with only a dull summer moon
inching across my immobility

while I await the outcomes
of occasions I'd forgotten I'd
initiated in dim expectation

of advantageous apocalypse--
even my spirit mind lacks strength
and hands enough to hold at bay

what rains down--while I waste the day
running around as if juggling watermelons


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
a new chapter has opened
in this book I'm writing--

the page will remain blank for a bit--

I'd like to say something so utterly new
it would deafen all who hear it--
blind all who read this nearly ineffable content--
strike dumb and senseless the impure heart
with all possibility--

so I break a mirror for the sake of no distractions--
no reminders to pull me back into old speech--

thus the page will remain blank for a bit--

all I have is a broken mirror
and nothing to say...


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
another lifetime
I'll regret this one--

meanwhile I'll struggle
the ever-failing struggle

to get it right--agape over eros--
sharing over hoarding

trying not to regret this lifetime
in another one--


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
the air cool and crisp

(going back to school weather--though it was
August 4th)

in the pale twilight--she came out of Alexander's
on Fordham and the Concourse--

brown haired young beauty
who ignored us as she passed the project bench
that was the center of our social world--

our eyes met for a second and she turned and walked
south toward 188th--

I floated back for the early friday evening hanging-out--
the hijinks particularly spirited that night--

and later in bed--her my total awareness
as a last quarter moon rose outside my window

37 years ago...


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
the world as I know it
morphs in dimensions
I couldn't imagine despite knowledge
there are other dimensions

the totality so beyond our awareness
it is a blank dusty summer sky
twitching in the nerves--

and the eye merging into the view--


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
the runes sing of ruins--
their instruction disregarded
by the proud and the impatient--

so sing an image of God
to which you can hurl your curses--
proud and impatience--

the insistence and empty satisfaction
the soul's suicide--


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
odds favor the negative

in many lives
and in many hopes--
results justified
then--a flourish--

the poor little soul was right after all



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milio.
feeling at a loss

can't handle the freedom
for some reason

that slipped into me
the last time I fell

now what I loved
is gone and what I want

is stale and this is the loss
strangling my love of freedom

that stays my heart from its joy

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
hot summer morning at last

the sun diffused haze on the road-
the slanting sunlight on the brickface

puddles of people spilling like fingers
of mercury reaching along each other's curbs

all noise a silence--


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Monday, August 3, 2009

cries echo through the violet twilight--
lovers return from the fields they've blessed
with their loving--

coming into the firefly lamps of the town--
the cool of the evening
the soothing peace of day's rest--



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
years of studying the seamless sky

reveals the nuts-and-bolts of process--
the stars galaxies black holes--

holding together God's thought--

so far beyond my own comprehension
I would best be dumb and empty

the better to see what node I denote--
what thought is my contributing process--


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
mind confined to the brain in the skull--

reaches out no farther than that
but simply to ACT--DO--tend to business

and be DONE--a space ever cleared
for the unstoppable incoming--

for life is purposeful--and a mother
of the skies says spirit can't work without a body--

held back to bring into being what mind creates--

bring it out slowly--materialized out
of the fingertips--polished and ready

to last its term--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

god continues
to punish me
for not being
Job enough--

easy work--
and a payday
for All
but me



Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.