Wednesday, December 30, 2015

we have no time left

and all time left

we know we'll be safe once

we stand outside our skins

but safe from what? mere but dangerous illusion

posited by our identities?

oh fear less than you do

with no and all time suspended

even the skins are only designs made

from the sheer fabric of Vega's weaving

we stand everywhere and nowhere

and yet here we are whether we understand or not

stay firm in mind and purge all fears

while the Universe changes around us

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

love will never die

while hate will kill all that lives

hate almost always prevails in the earth

but on rare occasion love will triumph

in some tiny happening of vast proportion

and even then how many more million years

in the earth before the hate is fully eradicated

and the love left standing singular and all-embracing as ever?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
how we mourn the things we tried to take

when they weren't ours to have

and how we dismiss and disdain all that's ours

because we failed in our attempt at robbery

we ignore our aspirations and mock our fates

while consequence with its fatal certainty

leave us empty of will and desire which would be

wonderful if we understood how free this loss makes us

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
you can take everything from me that you want

it was never mine anyway

and you will find out for yourself that none of it

will work because it's not yours either

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
how I hate reality

it seems the very antithesis

of joy and peace and love

but what do I or anyone know

beyond our frightened aspirations?

straight out of the despair

(our own invention)

how we loathe granite fate

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
we cannot be who we were

and all seems hopeless and lost

but all could be healed if we rose

above ourselves

and changed the paradigm of our affections

but to do that requires honesty

and will we ever be strong enough

to manage that...whomever we've become?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
there's little I could do

to ease your pain

we've both played our little tricks

and gained nothing but enmity

as what we were circles us in orbits

too far-flung to recognize

we would have to change ourselves to heal

and there's little to do about that

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

happy new year?


it's just a fake measure of time

and the day after we awake

to the same world and the same time

and the same wounds we'd disinfect

and bind hoping for a healing

that is somewhat hopeful

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
love that has died

is like a planet ringed with

the dust of its destroyed moon

years decades eons from now

someone will look up

at the broken moon

and feel the tug of yearning

a thousand years long

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Monday, December 28, 2015


every moment passing is loss

but every moment also brings gain

weep no more for what's gone

your hands are empty now take the


Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


the joy of age

is the anguish of youth

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
such emptiness over loves that faded

like wine stains on the first-date dinner

he again at the restaurant but years later

and off his game considerably

he waits for yet another salvation

to approach in tight-dress and heels

such emptiness over loves we leave and seek

and find each one is the same person we left

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
don't know why I keep doing this

if I can barely understand myself

what value could I possibly have for others?

or am I the clown entangled in his own

payback and is condemned to play the fool

until he understands exactly what a fool signifies

wisdom in gaudy off-putting garb

wisdom in koans that reveal the need to press on?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
selective talk

is feared by the dishonest

that's their problem

it's none of their business

anyway so clip their ears

with everything they can't

understand and watch them disappear

with the fast scamper of the 'found-out'

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
all I wanted

I have now

all I depended on

is now for the taking

what did I do for

the rusty faucet to come clean?

I left the tap on

and creation took care of the rest

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

loneliness toward the end

isolation so intense

the blood rushing through my ears

is the only music to be heard

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Saturday, December 19, 2015



fool that I be

I wake up

to my responsibility

to others and find

its another hoax

to keep us in line

by the evil world-lovers

who manipulate the Word

and destroy everything else

because the One will not lift a finger

to stop them and to help us

alone each of us must face this living horror

and find our own way out

whatever the One demands

if the lord won't help

then stop thinking of your vision of heaven

you may not get there

no matter what good you do

so ignore god and stop clinging to a desperate

frightened fear of eternal death

it is your own mind enslaving you

and it is the One who haunts your cell

and grins at you between the bars

you...each of us...who lived the illusion that

god was love....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


I was happy

until I woke up

the shitty Reality

of God

pressing on me

like the Warden looking away

from His guards beating the shit

out of the small and the weak

and most disgusting of all

that this is mandated

even for those who live

truly pious lives

and find its never good enough

to satisfy this...this...I have no words for this atrocity....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


your ghost loves me

as much as I loved it

when it lived in my heart

as an active living entity

you left and I have yet to do so

your ghost loves me

but will it equally love my ghost?

we'll find out what we've given each other

when that time arrives....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


solitude is the one thing

that can soothe a soul

in this world that knows nothing

but empty gestures and futile communication

solitude is the one gift of the heavens

that gives you any sense of eternity

within the confines of our limited skins

that ache so much for undisturbed peace

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


refreshed after a dream I can't remember

I rise in the morning and discover

it's yesterday it's tomorrow

it's always here and now

and yet the forgotten dream

pointed a way

beyond this entanglement

that is the grip of all matter

I only sense this

coursing through my mind

moving with my limbs

reacting to the irresistible

pull of a piece of eternity

that came to me as a dream

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Monday, December 14, 2015

why did I bother when nothing mattered?

why did I try to be happy following

a killer god of no love or mercy or forgiveness?

why in the name of who knows what

did I go on believing in the face of all the facts

of mercy and sadness that constitute life on earth?

why did I ruin for myself all the good?

why am I even bothering to ask?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
like the black ashes of dead starfish

our love is swept back into the waves

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
whatever end I face in this life

I will go down cursing the idiots

but still going up

honestly did You think

going against your own law

would teach us humility

to be crushed down by Your lack of forgiveness

and somehow we'd deduce humility?

oh course I despair

at finding the Source of Life

is no different or better than His creation?

oh the eternal idiocy of all of this

if creation gives us reason to fail then

I'll face whatever end I face in this sojourn

whose time has already passed?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

screw eternity

I'm happy in this instant

and if it's nothing but

another half-view of some

imaginary eternity

it's still a happiness

oh what will the One and Its imperatives

do to disabuse that notion of hope....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
too often

we're blinded by the Light

and that Light leads us

right back into our delusions

even the One in all its aspect

does not guarantee enlightenment

as long as your sad ego obeys it's own notions

you will stay blind in the Light

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Friday, December 11, 2015


the Light shines

it has never stopped shining

and it breaks through to our souls

and lights up every mistake

every miscalculation that allows us

to think we can see the Light so bright

we see only darkness and hope we can wade through

all that stands between us in that Light...good luck....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


why go on blaming God for my own failures

to get right

I might as well curse the sun for rising

every morning

but every morning is another chance

to screw up

or to finally hit that vein of self-mastery

that isn't an excuse

for being the raging beasts we choose to be

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


I must wash my hands

I've taken deeper responsibility

for my own life

and hygiene demands

I wash the shit off my hands

we all must wash our hands

it is on us to figure our way out of

this world this mess this pity

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


sky fills the eye

the heart beats like

surges of surf

all hearing

retains the music

of bird beast and flowers

and you a transparent form

camouflaged by everything

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
the end of bitterness and anger

and regret

leaves a large space

in the repentant soul

and what fills it

pours in with the

emptiness of peace

the ragged perfection

of being finished

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.






















Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Monday, December 7, 2015

the idea of death

is lost on the 'dead'

they've been through

their worldly lives

they could care less

(or so I imagine)

but in that grand afterward

do they speculate on

the idea of life

that is lost on the 'living'?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

no thought

no opinion

no hope

no need

I live

step by step

instant by instant

life after life



step of

the way

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Sunday, December 6, 2015


why bother praying? God already has you in His sights

no easy forgiveness just constant punishment

for trying to amend and all God knows what to do

is crush you down with His vengeance

well let Him...God wants us to amend and then damns us

for not being perfect enough? oh this sickening bastard

this Life...those who will amend and suffer

while those who only know a devil's command

and will follow it with no interference from this alleged

God of Justice and Mercy...horseshit to the max...

you want to believe in One who'll shit on you

with every move you make...

but then Lord what do You care? Your plan is being fulfilled

and You're more evil than those who deserve perdition....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


I must work harder to forgive my foes

and accept the judgment of a less-than-loving God

oh how Life sucks

every drug or piece of sex or submission to "da Lawd"

weighing on every one of our joys and all

we'd need to endure the divine heartless

I'll keep on trying but not with any promises

if God can let us hang like this then really who needs Him?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


so here is where we gather

for our reckoning

the wildly unreasonable evil

have their way while God looks the other way

but oh He's supposed to settle our hashs

very soon (an indefinite measure of time)

and under His hand we chafe and suffer

and thank you all for your part in this

my brothers my sisters my killers

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


after centuries of mushroom visions

what a wake-up call to see

how the new age is really coming about

all the ignorant evil that runs wild

in the midst of God's indifference

and dies a death as common as anyone's

oh you fools you evil wicked fools

you and your enemies deserve to suffer and die

and God will accommodate you

we all suffer for playing at being God

and this in this era is the way He is making us pay

for the horrible travesties of holiness

we propagate against each other

bring back the mushrooms so much purer than God

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


how wonderful to live

in this time of tribulation

everything is laid out for you

you don't even have to choose your death

God the do-nothing judge of the universe

will sit and weep with you

and when you die your killer will blow himself up

and God will chastise you and your killer for failing

to bow before His absentee landlord demands

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


the spirit of love

is like a booster shot

injected into the soul

to strengthen its immunity

of those who will die of

the insanity of our lesser bipeds

(yes they're assholes all

but look at the Power that lets it happen)

already we're feeling the reactions

of this injection

preparing to suffer yet again of those

we must love and forgive

not now not while this insanity is happening

do the best you can for God could care less....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Saturday, December 5, 2015


you're busting my balls on purpose aren't you

you have no scruples of your own

and think "let me mock this one"

let God give you your head

keep believing you have superior knowledge

even as people see you as the asshole you are

nothing will sty your hand from misadventure

and you'll bust your own balls as a result

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


you won't lose a thing if you don't try

and that will wind up a burden to you

my sin was retreating when I should have moved forward

and now my feet have sunk into mud

as unyielding as stone itself

what will be the thing you love that will

anchor you to your suffering

and show you your losses beyond counting?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


like Moses to the mountain

the hordes awaiting the Word

get tired and their faith weakens and wastes

as they orgy beneath that Golden Calf

you know how pissed off Moses could get

(he himself who doubted a moment and struck

the rock twice) it forbade him entrance to the

Promised Land and sent his people wandering

another forty years

fuck 'em! they saw divinely directed locusts

make a feast of Egyptian fields

they saw Angels of Death take first-born

pillars of fire and parted seas

and still they fucked off....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


one thing ends and a new one begins

God Almighty why?

is that what we scramble for

in attempts to convince ourselves

we have repented and been absolved?

this too is an ongoing work

no final answers until the Reunification

no despair if we've forgotten ourselves

and do what our True Selves must do

action by acquiescence

no signing the masterpiece

no glory as it endures its purpose

and who knows this better than the One

to whom we pray for our imaginary lives?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015


Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


I submit to the physical laws

my time dwindles

but memory is strong

soft and forgiving

as the rage that fired me

goes out and now I rejoice

to be done with the futile trying

but for relinquishing the form

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


heavy pork lucindas

bijou dutch banana

rat bottom turd catchers

wampum store ice house wreck

see the sea and pass the butter

'til you pass the udder

yank titty drained of carbonated soda

what have we done to the earl?

bromo instantaneously

vouch for glory in the bowl

a thorn is a thron is a thorn

explain that to Thanatos

then peach pie and a large melon


Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I'm busting through the hedges

I'm prancing on the lawn

I'm trying to convince

the forsaken that all is not lost

but who will take a mad man

at his word when the weight of the earth

pulls us down into a grave that cannot

catch the soul free of its silver cord?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

all good wishes

to you and yours

we laugh and cry

the same

and our stories are

uniformly one

what I wish for myself

I wish for you too

all good wishes there if we want them....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
fool I am

and fool I'll be

as long as I take

my word to mean

all it wishes to do

but can't

because its hope

was groundless

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
what remains but the baby rattle

the rubber lamb

the bird mobile over the crib

first images in a life

that would turn hard and nasty

and yielding this memory image

far past its time but eternal in the mind

that remembers it being mesmerizing....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
pausing a moment

in the flow of onrushing time

I am not there

I'm merely eyes hanging in the mist

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


the last petals drop from the branches

a loon shrills through the fog

I watch people emerge from the damp

quiet with the intense fear of being alive

as the petals drape their shoulders

and the holy mist swaddles their forms

hunching through the blowing spray

on this gray beach on the edge of the stable sea

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
give me your heart while you still can

nothing we've done to each other is unforgivable

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I leave you nothing but memories

of the days we were soft to each other

a constant presence of the heart

which endures despite the hurting of our pride

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
put a clamp on my fingers

put a choker on my throat

the hope of salvation lingers

while the reality of consequence sounds its note

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


the wars of our heavens and hells

poison the soul and fracture the mind

don't listen to what anyone tells

you about the joys to be left behind

you will discover for yourself

the greater joys once you have escaped

from the trance that takes you somewhere else

than where you need to be..your vision already shaped....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


watching the stars cross the night sky

my memory is lost among the hopes

of holding firm until I'm released

and rejoin the stars in their flight

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

the earth is still the rose-strewn rock

of peace and peril

and will be to its end

but we have yet to duff our world

so at variance with the power

that pushes all molten matter into forms

that for the briefest instant

reference Infinity before passing....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


I live

I despair

but I live

I lose faith

but I live

I stumble on the way

but I live

I know not

what comes next

but I live

my doom or my salvation

but I live

let the One have the last word

but I live

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


so much shame

so much regret

don't make such a deal over it

this is the bread of our Communion

the easy will slide down the chute

to whatever perdition they've earned

the rest of us took the hard path

and wonder exactly what the love of God is....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


you dawg

you live to do mischief to me

luckily for you

I still have a sense of humor

and even if I still didn't get it

I'd know something would have

an impact on me and you who haunt

will indeed know how powerless you are

to stop me from my way out when

all you have will be nothing but the rubble

of whatever notion led you to this

tangle of aspiration and disappointment

as with you so with me

I too thought I would waltz into transcendence

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


easy to be led astray

just think for yourself

and see where

you end up and how

just because something

is meant to be

doesn't mean it will work out

as you expect

yes visualize all you wish

and be true to your vision

such as it may be

but yours is not the last word

and if the gold you were expecting

is like dross let it go and be steady for the next try....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


so sorry to see everything go

what I possess is mine alone

but its substance is shared

its essence making us one

and when what is mine is dispersed

I will be sorry to go anywhere

but I'll wind up wherever

and call it home and keep doing so

until I know for sure it's home

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


a lesson lost in the learning

a form I must repeat

casts a westward shadow

in the morning sun of the east

nothing is done yet

nothing is really ready to go

as I try to retain what I would keep

to leave the rest of the burden....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


gray wet mornings

drinking tea at the window

seeing nothing but gray morning

tasting nothing but my dryness

memory so dense and familiar

it no longer enlightens

my life an overlay on this morning

this morning the grounds of my world

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.