Thursday, April 30, 2015

maybe you'll die violently

or maybe just pass in your sleep


in full expectation of what is coming

or in full joy of living seeing not the end approach


if you've done right for the right purposes

and if your sorrows have softened you


if you've lived as fully as you could

then you'll have nothing to fear








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
false hopes kill us quietly


whether they're for peace on earth

or unruly plans for world dominance


false hopes are the projections


of fear and ignorance and hate

and yes it seems this must be said


in every generation born to ruin in this world


sadly it's the way the damn thing's built








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
while this time in the earth

rages outside every window

and we all are prisoners of our own complicity


stop and give a thought

for the blessed who die in crossfire

or simply slip away in their own weariness


while this time rages in the earth

timelessness carries off our hearts and souls






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
tomorrow will be May Day...

as ever workers and other oppressed

will celebrate their lives and meanings...


these days that includes revolt...

again we have reached critical mass...

again we have had more than we can stand


in the way of being exploited...

the rich and powerful psychopaths who run the world

never get it and they never will...


they keep steady in the faith that they can crush

anyone who can oppose them...and with so many weaklings

on their payrolls how can they believe otherwise?


but since this is a permanent feature

of living in this world...know that this struggle

too will never end...


the only good and hopeful thing in this is knowing

there will always be a May Day....







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.




Wednesday, April 29, 2015

I got away

but not cleanly


I left much behind

I could never


straighten out

on my own


and somewhere

down the line


these things

will return to bite my ass


but such is the totality

of all we've been and done


and such is the culmination

with which we all will confirm ourselves








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

I'm making for the border

I have no protection


the One is as intractable i hate

as the least ones of creation


let this merciless god

have the final word


I'm making for the border

and I'll get there or I won't








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
don't listen to others

follow your own way


do you really have to hear this again?


I'm no great poet or philosopher

I'm an ordinary person


dealing with pompous assholes


the same as you

let them have their vanity but not let them

mock your sincerity








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I'm not all that wise

but not all that foolish either


I split the difference

with every choice I make


the control we have in life

is making our next move


nothing else is our business

and how we end up


is out of our hands in a way

I'll love and do what I will


but that guarantees nothing

nor should it if all purity of intent


is on us as in no ways up to it ourselves

each of us acting this way


decides the outcomes we covet

and those that we fear


and the only way out is to press forward

despite the consequence that dogs us


don't wish you'd woken up sooner

it wouldn't've made a difference


you play it as it lays and take it from there

and whatever happens happens





Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito


so here I am

and so are you

and between us

there's nothing we can't ruin


but by the same token

there's plenty to save

but do we want to

knowing how life will misbehave?


I'm content to say

fuck it and let it go

everything will turn out as it will

and I won't be stressed by what


I can't control and you'd be wise to follow suit

our love may be our strength but useless nonetheless








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


Saturday, April 25, 2015

the wise young ones

will in their time


become old fools

like all who preceded


and will follow them


how good to be past the chase

and sit and watch at a low fire


the fire that burns in the veins of each generation










Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
love betrays the idea of love


and all that is left

are walking wounded who thought


they could outwit their own hearts









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

ALL THE LITTLE HARMS

all the little harms

come to the service of love


the deceits the evasions

to entice invitation


to the very heart of honesty

at stake with every move


and the silent consuming desire

that love forgives








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
longing rends my heart

with every passing beauty


you'd think I'd know better

this late in life


but the life of desire

knows no age


and the fire never

stops burning







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

TROUBLE IS THAT WE ARE THE WORLD

a cool Spring morning

with bright sunshine

and buds fighting the long cold

to burst forth

and nothing else to say

from this citizen


all's quiet


would that the world follow this example

with more frequency










Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.




Friday, April 24, 2015

the next time I reincarnate


I hope it will be in the ruins

of this bright 'new beginning'

launching in this present time


this alleged 'Golden Age'

of technology and expanded ethics

which are nothing more than


the old tyrannies of human nature

in shiny spiritual drag

where all one group can think of


is vengeance against the ones

who oppressed them previously

and now are having their noble self-righteous


posturing pass as 'justice'

perpetuating the same sins of hate and intolerance

as those who came before...


I want to come back after the assholes

of this current generation play their hands

and are as bereft as the oppressors who put them down


I want to come back to needle them

to be the same ersatz Jeremiah who curses them now

to thank them for dragging the rest of us into their holes


of hell which is just to show I'm no better than anyone else

I have my own path for which to atone

I have my own beef with God and God's miscreants


and whatever purity I can maintain

will save whatever righteousness there truly is

it simply is not for us to say


'love and do what you will and let God keep the books'

are any of us really ready for such responsibility?

it doesn't matter...it is thrush on us and it is ours to attend...


that's when I want to come back...to forgive and heal or avenge and feel glad....





Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

not bitter

but oh so tired


how much I hate kissing

asses I haven't washed


people think they're entitled

they insist


they demand

while rejecting any respect for you


but I fought this

and failed so many times


that the lesson sunk in


let them hang themselves


they will face maelstroms of their own making

while a nap will refresh me








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

ELMER FUDDS DEFEATED

I spiral through the day

juggling 15 balls

with 3 hands


and it's never enough


I'll bust a hump to do it right

it comes out less than that

and others have the nerve to think


they have some right to criticize


who crush their hands

with their asses

and whistle without thinking of a graveyard


while I spiral through the day

as earthbound as they are but ready to eject

at any time






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I may lose my mind to the cosmos

but it's only an evasion


I'm still in the world

poor as a honest man can be


looking for any work

that will sustain


the daily punishment

of my living








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

metaphysical wheels and horrors

leaving prostrate the accidental visionary


shivering the ground beside

his false notions and his unbreakable pride


he actually lives in the instant

and ruins it by trying comprehend...


don't follow his example...

lay wide-eyed in the sun instead







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
under the shadow of enormous wings

the warm air cools and the winds revolt


and day is eclipsed by a passing angel

that passes and reveals day in its tatters


it happens every time we panic

and lose faith in the instant of our breath


and the vision that endures forever

shows its narrow focus in the now








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

KARMA

I'm telling you now

while you can hear


the harrowing of how

you'll survive makes fear


of all that is painfully hard

or equally sorrowfully sweet


and you needn't hedge the odds

your soul is the only one you'll meet










Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
the horror of living

is only so

because your pride

will not let go


unhand your ego

let it slide

and that is how

you will abide







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
self-righteousness is the trap

the snare that nails you in your self-holiness


and while you protest that you're no better

than anyone else the very statement reveals your pride


humility undone by acknowledgment of humility

and every prayer for deliverance just another


advertisement of self self self self self

as if others were bit players in your own melodrama


oh dangerous ground for the self-centered soul

to trod in a void that supports nothing


but its actual non-existence

and instead of giving in and flowing with it


it's your very ego that makes you dissolve

into it like an antacid in a glass of water








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I should have known I'd do worse

if I followed what I believed


but there's the rub

that's the trick


marching straight and steady

will do you in


while clowns around you stumble

and giggle and get a pass








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
to gain release from the material worlds

I've have to be humbler than I can be


for the very spiritual principles we embrace

are the very ones that enchain and defeat us








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
with a gun to my head

a knife to my throat

and my feet to the fire


God will gain my love










Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
another day shoveling

someone else's shit


oh how wonderful

oh how blessed we are








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

THAT LUCKY OLD SUN*

so I went to the river

got taken across

all my troubles washed away


and I'm standing

right here

eyes skyward to the blue


and I too can roll

around heaven all day






*(One of the simplest and most deeply moving songs in the Great American Songbook...
Long may it be the true hymn of humanity seeking redemption....)






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
yes fools


we are an intimate part of cosmic process

our curse to be more than our imperfections will allow

in order to order the movement of the stars


that we'll never be up to it is the sickness

of the One's demands that we attain to some rigid unforgiving

perfection that we strangle the very lives from our souls


yes fools we are fools and never will we be

wise enough to detach and fuck off








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
fools will rage in the sting of truth

the wise will ignore them and continue their folly


and so the cosmic machine will crank on

and human nature be the fuel for its combustion









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
watch the ending roll over us


watch the elders shiver at the end of their terms

watch the young ones too stupid to know

it is their own end they embrace and celebrate


some remnant will survive

raise its collective head dazed and sigh

and burning in the Clear Light like ice


they'll re-entrench and grow like daisies out of shit










Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

there is no I


in this instant


whoever is writing this


does so under a false identity










Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
mist rises in the dawn

the chill turns balmy

in the rising sun


unalterable memory

saturates the air...

dissolves the borders


of my self as I merge

with the glow of the morning....








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
it is folly to love

without an object


but if the infinite

is your object


then who but yourself

can blame you


for chasing the swirling orgasm

at the heart of each black hole....










Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.



never knowing

what is enough

until you've

had too much


it's always a shock

to face the infinite

possibilities

that your own flesh denied you






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
a cool Spring

tempers our desire

for heat and light

and renewal


but I admire

those who cling tightly

to these hopes despite

the unrelenting grip of the cold and dark









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Monday, April 20, 2015

my only forever

is this instant

looking at

a hot desert

afternoon

awaiting the cool

of evening


so I say

in a cold room

with rain

washing the windows

and my mind

anywhere but here


making to move on









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


the moon is high and so is the noose

I've no illusions about breaking loose


I've done my time and had my fun

and I'll be buried beneath the rising sun


and what will sprout up from my grave

will be bright and strong and tender and brave


or so I can hope of my body feeding roots

that will yield briefly to the first green shoots









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


imagine a hell or a heaven


imagine what infinity is


you'll close your eyes on this world

and will you open them again


and if so on what?


it's your choice when you're alive here

and what comes after


is already here and now










Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.



they're gaining on me


I won't make it to the border

before they catch up and maim me


I will die painfully

my body scattered in bloody pieces


by those incredibly reckless evil

righteous and law-abiding citizens...


the Mass Mind...the rabid cowardly herd...


say nothing on my behalf

I'll have no last words and you'll only draw


this ravening pack to your heels...


quick...make haste...

already they have a trace


already they're after you....








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.











Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
this has to be the worst time this world has ever seen


I don't believe even Atlantis at the height of its arrogance

could match us for craven stupidity and selfishness


but what do I care anymore? this is human nature

at its "best" i.e. murderous in its basest intent


and so utterly false in its imagined piety

let 'em rot...I'm happy to be my own man


and I'm having a ball with the Remnant

i.e. those who suffered for leaving the compound


but know what nuts and berries are safe to eat

and won't say so to the refugees leaving


the burning cities and thinking they're going to impose

their horseshit out here


you destroyers will be our particular source of amusement....






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
our cyborgs patrol the streets

dare to tell you how to behave

bust you if you don't kiss their metal balls

destroy you if you don't eat their nut-and-bolt turds


I was overjoyed to see

some spoiled entitled scumbag

confront one of these appointed automata

as if he were having a tantrum before mommy and daddy


the cop bashed this asshole's teeth out the back

of his skull and now he's tweeting 'wee-wee-wee'

the injustice of this...the nerve of this robot...

wee-wee-weeing through his bloody gums


and you wonder why I'd give away a lottery win

to watch all you bastards go to hell....








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

I love you

but not enough to die for you


would that not be a defeat of purpose?











Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
you'll never see your end coming

but if it hits quickly enough


you'll never know it

because you won't miss your life









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

our Oneness

is our greatest liability


for where 100 souls

will do enough good


to raise all of us up a step

it only takes one flaming asshole


to drag everyone back

2 steps


mon semblable mon frere

my brother my killer


you are my greatest enemy

I must share in your death


if I am to live and go on

if our Oneness even supports us that far....






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


FOR BG 2

you slimy lazy lying self-serving

ambulatory afterbirth


may your mentally ill son

and your asshole ex

live


one day longer than you










Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I dream of loves long gone


they look as wrecked as I do

(except for Mali...dear Mali...

lying naked on her curled side

with her ass spread and ready...brrrrr)


they say God talks to us in dreams

but if that's so then God is as incomprehensible

as the happenings sent our way

to steer us forward and which we ruin so effortlessly


by thinking too much

with the too little we know

and so our fake melancholy soothes our sad

and comforting pain about loves


long gone but like me are only elsewhere....










Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.



if nothing we do matters

then it doesn't matter what we do


so do right by others

and have another drink or shot or fuck


as long as who you're with

is in it with you






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I'm being punished

for breaking out

of the subservient role

it was my destiny to embody


I bought the lie

that we can repent and amend

and that it would matter

to the health of our souls


but instead of transcending

to the pure aspiration of reunion with the Source

it was just a common matter of "he who would

save his life must lose it"


we do what we can and love what we do

but we do not have the final say about how it ends up








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Friday, April 17, 2015

this is what it's all about


to help someone in need

when their distress happens right in front of you


to not sit around afterward in self-absorption

worrying about the soul that bears your burden


to watch a sunset without an agenda

and fade away with the dying rays of the setting sun


this is what it's all about







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.




I'm easy now


rage may rear its head

from time to time


but it no longer consumes me


I've learned that all I have control over

is my next move


and I have nothing to say about the outcome


it plays out as it will and I take it from there....











Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

THE BEST THE WORLD HAS TO OFFER

light a cigarette

down a tumbler of single malt scotch

ooze into the day

that explodes all around you


the joke is old

the misery is cold

light a cigarette

down a tumbler of single malt scotch








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
we're stronger than we know


but never strong enough to prevail


against a cosmos bound on grinding us up

and putting our energy into other forms


the constant morphing of a perpetual now

in which all past and future is present


and our strength of will is the least of it


in fact it's usually the first thing to go








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
live long enough

and you'll take the lack of light

in this world for granted


yes you'll have moments wondering why

there's no grace or mercy or forgiveness

but then you'll pick yourself up


shake off the dust and deal

as best you can no matter how much darkness around you









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

the world is becoming transparent


form is a shade fading before the sun

and the sun itself washing out


paler and paler with every glance

at its former majesty


I look at my outstretched hand as it grows clear

invisible to the mere eye


the world is disappearing at last and happiness knows no bounds









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
blear sun in the sky

dull long shadows along the street


figures move slowly

across lines of vision


under the budding anxious trees

beginning to bloom


after an almost unstoppable winter


they continue their cycles

automatic as breath


while we loom and dwindle

among their phases


like a vegetable moon


we come and go across the perpetual face

of the world as we rejoin these very elements






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.



Wednesday, April 15, 2015

I know nothing is easy

but I know nothing is impossible


flex your muscles all you want

but your will is the source of your strength






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
heavy burdens

become light

when you're certain

you've handled them right


but a heavy burden

in itself

is not knowing for certain

until the action has passed


and you know it is nothing else

but the consequence that will last






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Monday, April 13, 2015

death will end this life's woes

and confirm the fleeting happinesses

that made it bearable


but because life is active and ongoing

I will continue elsewhere

where at some new incarnation


we'll meet again drawn to each other

and feeling something vaguely familiar

and in our soulful amnesia


take yet again a plunge

our wrongs to expunge and what pure

goodness to increase


and only in a fulfillment of enlightenment

will the wheel cease and we be released








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.
the fool is known by his bright optimism

a blazing plumage of vivid rainbow colors

that are an annoying chirping in the silence

of the earthly depths


while a wise bird wears dark silvery

tufts of feathers like a starling amazed

by the semblance of galaxies

swirling overhead in the night sky


one chattering and chirping

to the destruction of all peace and reflection

and the other still in the grasp of a calm

that reduces cacophony to resonant low presence


and both sense the other in sibilant waves

see each other in shimmering mirrors of sound












Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I'm always ready to fall asleep


it's age

failing body

depressed mind


nothing to endorse

that doesn't decompose

into compost


which is good for the soil

but not for us

who will wind up


in the soil

and be the worse thing for it

so I choose to snooze


when you're sinking do you really care how deep?








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
alive in your own skin

is being dead to a different condition


but how to change this...where to begin...

puts us in such precarious positions


until I learn a little more about this

I'll just go on pleading ignorance...


so when I know for sure i can

go on pleading ignorance...and be so....







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Miliyo.



Sunday, April 12, 2015

common domesticity

is killing me faster than my poor habits


no wonder we fake visionaries

love our fake illuminations


drink drugs indiscriminate sex

all the illusions of youth and


incomprehension of eon-old notions

of the spiritual and the profane


which themselves might have been the evasions

of the seekers of those previous times


hamper us still as if the centuries between here and now

were nothing but a momentary pipe dream


and I see myself in who was there (maybe it was me myself)

and wonder what progress the soul can make


making the same mistakes lifetime after lifetime








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


Saturday, April 11, 2015

all we've loved is a memory now


and as much as we weep

for the time gone past


at least we have the memory







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I can preach all I want

to fulfill my own desperate need


but each of us do that to ourselves anyway

so if we make things worse by seeming to walk


around as if we had a wisdom of our own

it's the impervious shield of pride keeping us from concord


don't take my word for it or anything else

I know as little as you do






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
wise men know better than to weep

but do because of their great compassion


while fools flood their cheeks in a salty wash

for show and hide from the commitment of empathy


and if the pain to which they minister

leaves the recipient mournful and bemused


the sufferer will at least know a truth either way

and all will be judged on their fidelity to themselves








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I didn't believe the obvious signs

I thought destiny was subtler than that


but sometimes face value says it all


you live like a fool and die like one








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Friday, April 10, 2015

the so-called 'future'


vast and unappealing

as a desolate lunar landscape


but there it is

shining in our reflected glow


but a distant sun

blazing nearer or farther away


contingent on where we go from here








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
reality is the ultimate horror story


vision equals evisceration


what you gain in spirit you lose in materiality


and the creeping rag and bone derelict

inching along the decent streets

has been reduced by the evil in the world

to a heap with glowing eyes

and shafts of light shining out from his skull


from where the bats and jack handles

of an outraged disgusted community

has bludgeoned the creature unmercifully

until nothing is left but their own hatred expelled


Cthulhu above smiling through his tentacles








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


Thursday, April 9, 2015

the greatest agony in life

is to be aware








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
even though we're all One

each of us suffers his own misery


much of it caused by a bogus fantasy

of what exactly our Oneness is....






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

EAST VILLAGE EXPLOSION 2


it's just this whole "media circus" that arises around making a "better story" for which I've lost all patience and acceptance...maybe I'm just getting old and tired...knowing values I once held as fundamental are now soooooo off the table (and were never all that pure to begin with...) that I'm stuck with being a Jeremiah when Jeremiahs are more out of fashion than ever...spiritual pride...it'll nibble at your heels while you're kneeling....








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.



Wednesday, April 8, 2015

now you know there's nothing new

it's all old and borrowed and blue


and every heartfelt promise sundered

mocks the participants who blundered


but other lives will reset the dials

our forgotten pasts opening brand new smiles


and more than swelling rod and magic tail

will have to reveal who'd succeed and who'd fail








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
the bait-and-switch of daily living

pardons the giver but not the giving


and the holy One who made it this way

stands aside with nothing to say


the onus is on us to refine ourselves

though nothing we do is fine enough


and when nothing is within our control

why should we care how the dice will roll?








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
every single day in the world

is a reminder that we are in hell


"oh stop being a baby and lighten up"

"that's the way the world is"

"step up and grab yours while you can"


thank you for your self-serving patronizing attitudes

you who add to the misery...for you to even say this shit


shows you've already lost your souls....









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

CONCERNING THE EAST VILLAGE NYC BUILDING EXPLOSION AND ITS TWO HUMAN DEATHS

With no disrespect, and all condolences, to the family of Nicholas Figueroa, I find it (sadly) predictably strange and unfortunate that our wonderfully informative media chooses to focus on this clean-cut, upstanding young man on the rise of his life, out on his unfortunate date...but they have nary a word to say about his comrade-in-death, Moise Ismael Locon Yac...and why should they? Because he was a mere busboy, and so he didn't count? The mainstream media is so unforgivably disgusting, I think I'd rather screw 10 whores without a rubber than go on working in this field (limited as my work in it has been)









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
agonies mount


us


a divine dick-in-the-ass


we can


only


endure


as


required







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

4:30 am

is not too far off


if I can't drift off

by daylight


I'll drink

30 cups of coffee


and force my way

to the evening








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I was getting home late


thought I heard a yowl in the dark

whatever it was was dying or giving birth


I was tired and not interested in finding out


once inside a cold beer and cold left over ham

satisfied me enough for me to forget


the yowl I heard even though

it was still wailing outside the window







Content (c) 20089-2015 Philip Milito.




I have no excuses now


the past is gone

and what's to come


taunts me

with its common progress


and still I must remind myself

what has been and will be is the same


but for the choice over which is our only control








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
life collapses and reforms

second by second


you can't even plan a shit


nothing's holding

nothing has no meaning


everything kills and nothing revives


but we're still alive

to tell the grisly tale to no one who can hear







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.



Monday, April 6, 2015

day is blazing and blinding

in the hot light of the sun


parching and wearying

the aging body


but night...night with its cooling darkness

and its mysteries of soul made manifest....


night is so soothing

and its song of silence pulsing through the ears


and as calming as death itself






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I've stumbled my whole life

not knowing what my life was worth


and now the empty world around us

claims its next fallen traveler


the way is too long

going on past this life and future ones


and I'm way too tired now

to go on struggling with so little to sustain me







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I've quarreled with God

(really quarreled with myself)


for long enough

the only defeat of being


is the stubborn pride

of the fearful and the ignorant


frightened children after all

in awe before the yawning expanse of night







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I knew I was off the track


but could see no way to remedy

the situation


because even the well-meaning

exhortions of grace and peace


from those in the bubble

of their 'positive' thinking


were equally ten miles off the mark







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
who is strong and steady enough

to look into the Void and not shiver?


certainly not me

and my family and friends?


we all stumble around down here

in the earth


grateful for a moment's peace

that won't bring havoc in its wake







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
you will praise the wrong things

in your search for some salvation


it cannot be otherwise

because everything you think


is the right way is wrong

and your idea of God is nothing


but the reflection of your face

projected onto the empty sky








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
no one wants to hear the truth

so they hide in false imaginings

of positive feeling and

optimistic outcomes


but sooner or later

everyone faces the inconvenient truth

and if an illusion helps in facing it

then why not? truth will out


because it's true







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
life was never easy

it never will be easy


you'll come to be

and fall away


and in between

you'll suffer and fail


coming to be

and falling away








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.






nothing will stop

the mongoose

from laying waste to the snake


nothing will stop

human nature

from feeding on itself


rounds of life and death that

nothing will stop








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Sunday, April 5, 2015

once the irrational ravings leave you


sorrow and regret mix

with the bitter calm

the fractured but encroaching stillness

that lets the guilts of blasphemy

(just self-hatred projected onto

some imagined notion of god)

and the pain that hurts others

as well as you (our Oneness ever involving)


but once the irrational ravings leave you

so does emptiness enter the cleaned-out vessel

to receive what consequence

and what grace will fill the soul


and what the Final Word will have to say






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.




Saturday, April 4, 2015

how happy can one asshole be?


he's unloaded his load

he's apologized to his hot lover

and she's taken him back


he has a fresh start

that he may bungle yet

but in some things now he knows better


and is happy to be that saved asshole....








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
now you know the almost

soul-destroying pain of penance

and no wondering whether you're forgiven

since the One has the final word in any case


so kick back and stop your vain holy concern

stop trying to guarantee a happy ending

reuniting you with the One


if you've unconsciously done the right thing it will be....







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
today I was finally broken down

today I faced the consequences

of my vanity and knew for sure

I could not coordinate my fate


even Jesus went this way

"Father why have you forsaken me?' indeed

no one gets off easy

no one escapes the Will of the One


who demands our blood and suffering

for atonement of our sins

and the settling of our karmic debts

we have nothing at all to say


but to face that judgement...that vengeance...

and endure it....









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philp Milito.
we cannot go to heaven whole


we must be crushed

we must be broken


only when our idiotic egos

are subjugated


are we ready to go

to hear the inner voice and obey





Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
fuck all of you


life is a cruel evil joke


and none of you assholes will ever get

how much you contribute


with your evil religions

and your selfish sense of entitlements


damn you all...you and the scumbag 'god'

who takes no responsibility for its own creation


evil evil EVIL from the very top down

to the lowest bottom


I'd rather die than serve this satanic 'god'

who will not forgive even as we will


enough...I'm living and loving in the pure moment

of aspiration...and fuck god if that's not good enough....







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
nothing more tiring or onerous

tha wrestling with our own


sealed imaginations


if this gives the likes of me a headache

what suffering for the Source of Life

that mandated this bullshit...


every one...including the so-called god...

gets what's coming to them...good...serves all of us right....









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I'm so trained in the right-brained poetic imagination


that it will take me quite a while to stop using

this idiotic spiritual language


to describe the wonders of the processes

that reveal the powers of the Source of Life Itself


but whatever we must do to outgrow our horseshit

and get real we'll stumble ever onward to do so


the reality is ever the same








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.



I'm done with evil projections of 'god'


I know what's right or wrong

and I've had it with this mythological monster


who has us thinking we'll die without 'him'

fuck 'him'


if we're responsible for our own lives

then it's on us to do right


we don't need 'god'...we need to love ourselves more....







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


no wonder life sucks


look at the asshole

who created us


no love no mercy no forgiveness

just "I demand obedience...I will not


be mocked"...you scumbag

you deserved nothing but...


you deserved nothing 










Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


well...now we are truly on our own...


but we always have been...


isn't it better this way

to live and seize the moment


than to believe in evil fairy tales

of an evil scumbag of a god


let this evil god die

because to live in its tyranny


is to not live at all....






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

God turns His back on His creation


leaving His foul culpability

on us like a coward busting the honest man who save him


the idea of God is sickening enough

but the reality...the reality

is absolutely unspeakable...


stay asleep in your bogus beliefs

once you awaken to God's Reality you'll wish you were dead....







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.
help


help


for the love of christ help


so echoes the man dying

in the valley of his consequence


if there is a loving forgiving heart

somewhere in or out of this creation


you wouldn't know it by this poor man


even Christ Himself said

"Father why has Thou forsaken me?"


God's love is but the rusted blade slicing the throat

of those who dared to think for themselves


and who must worship this psychopath

if we wish to live forever?






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
god is sick

god is ill


god is psychotic

and so are those who believe in it


these are the assholes who are doing us all

down to death


and what can be done but endure it

until we no longer can?






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
why am I letting this divine asshole bring me down?


I live a common ordinary life

giving a hand where I can


taking for granted a common courtesy

that acknowledges our shared humanity


and I have to suffer unmercifully

because some psycho god demands our repentance


and fucks us when our own repentance is

dismissed as being never good...never perfect enough?


fuck this asshole

there are selfish spoiled entitled scumbags


walking around with their faces buried in their iPhones

and expecting deference as a right


and this asshole god lets them pass without a scratch?






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.
I'm not the only one

who's been done down beyond recovery


but if our love and compassion

are what is supposedly what matter most


then let us love each other

and to hell with the psychotic 'Source of Life'


may we live forever in love

and let the insufferable tyrant of life


lose all and learn humility


our roads are hard enough

and if god can't have mercy on that


then God isn't that much of a god after all


kill us if you are as truly horrible as you seem

you deserve to be alone at the end








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
maybe there is a place

of mercy or forgiveness


but I know it not

nor can imagine what horrific heights


when grace does absolve

or where there is love beyond


beyond what we could

ever comprehend









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.




believing in God

is no different

than believing

in nothingness


this is what you get

for putting your

pathetic faith in a fairy tale

of God and forgiveness


reality will crush you

and fling you into the abyss

and this is "God" also

the unforgiving force


that knows no love no mercy no grace

and will lift no finger to help






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.




Thursday, April 2, 2015

everyone buys into their own fantasies...


if they're lucky they'll find

another psychopath to sync with...


wild love crazy love love in a bed

love in a public toilet...


how tired and trite after all...delusions

making lovers think they've invented the universe


until they fall to their common realities....






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
wheels in the cosmos mesh

new ages begin as old ones fall away


all the dials are reset to zero


and here I am still waiting

for the Good Will shop to open






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
look for good and you'll find it


look for bad and you'll find it


it's all there in front of you

with no hard and fast rules


as to which is which

or even why







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
"as above...so below"


hard for me to wrap my mind

around the fact


that heaven's as fucked up

as the earth....






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

I no longer have any curiosity

about that gleaming blaze

on the western horizon


I'll reach there

in due time and find for myself

what it is and what it means to me


meantime I slog through my dwindling day

waiting for the imminent night







Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
numb my will


make me some kind of automata

who functions


and maybe achieves an end

regardless of any aspiration


so far beyond what we can manage

all we can do is despair


and hopefully find our strength in that









Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I work hard for nothing

but so does everyone else


this is the human condition

bare sustenance


to keep grinding

our souls against


a merciless perfection

tight as a prison








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.





help may be coming

but it always loses its way








Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
layer after layer

falls away from the mind


until at last

one is so much


one's self

that one does not


recognize one's self

layer after layer


and each awareness

of self falling with them


and no wondering

which self is which


as the primary one watches

the rest fall away






Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.