Friday, May 29, 2015

the grumpy old man

is played for comedy

forget the clowns

who want to play Hamlet

serious is serious

but seriously...humor makes it go down better

what greater gift could you bring

but the gift of laughter?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I've lost so much

of what's over and done

I've nothing left

not even fear

and being empty means

all that held is finally gone

and being empty means

I now can receive

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
love does not know itself

it is concerned wholly

with the Other

it finds and fulfills itself

in the reflection of another's soul

and strengthens and defines itself

in that embrace and joining of souls where

love comes to know itself

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
you gamble

every time you open your mouth

you explain a truth you know

and others will hear you or not

why such fear in opening

to the reality of others?

do you really think you're so unique

and beyond comparison?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I say one thing

you hear another

all conversation

is an act of interpretation

and so so much

is lost in translation

our truths clash without

the common ground of empathy

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Monday, May 25, 2015


we always yearn

we never learn

return again and again

shameless in our pride

to botch another life

because we're not happy

unless we're controlling someone

heedless of the eternity we'd lose for our vanity

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


every person in their box

thinks they are free

thinks they can instruct and teach others

tin ears all of them

they preach to hear their voices in the wind

they presume to show the fish how to swim

deaf even to their own doom

they'll die dismissively disdaining those who wouldn't follow them

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
too much knowledge

will sink you

like a panicking hiker

sucked into the quicksand

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
narcissism breeds madness

and is the test of strength

for the truly humble

to withstand

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

the swampy day disperses energy

like grounding runs electricity off

its arc and into its non-conductible waste

that is this strange and humid day

when some people threaten others

and others wander past the scene later

not imagining what the hell was going on...

I'm not in love with the way Life was designed

and wonder sometime if the Lord Itself

is in its right gets pretty hard

to care after this continual shit

and even the Source of All Life

doesn't quite seem to get it that you can only

do so much draining in this humid muck we call today....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito. 
my face shows everything

it is as fact-laden as a documentary

but my love...woman that she be...

(and they all are sisters...whatever their cattiness

toward each other)

she and they all create themselves...

the beautiful face a fiction

that expresses all truth as lies

and makes you understand why

you have no chance to change the world

when it is so much easier

and kinder to submit

and the sadness of your face

confirms the mask

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


now I know why

it is so easy

to laugh and cry

in a single sound

the world hurts us

but life is a joke

we take comedy to heart

but find tragedy value neuter

and then never know

what the appropriate dress code is

for what catastrophe

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I wouldn't try to convince anyone

of whatever reality

they've embroiled themselves in...

christ...even I don't know

what's coming next

and I had a plan....

seems nothing works

and if it did

would you still know how to work it?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
5:30 am

saturday morning


under our window

two guys holding

another guy's arms and feet

stretching him out

while a stocky brute

with a silver pipe

(maybe an aluminum baseball bat)

while some of their

girlfriends are screaming and trying

to defuse the situation

my partner calls the cops and reports the incident

look out the window again

the assailants fleeing down opposite

ends of the street

while the victim stands up

from between parked cars

bottom naked and holding his pants

we look out the window later

and see our neighbor talking to the cops

(so we weren't the only ones who called in)

and in this aftermath

my sweetie and I go back to bed weary

but slightly wired

while she tossed hungry

and I lay inspecting the ceiling

and thinking of Auden's great Musee des Beaux Arts....

(accent over first 'e' of course)

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

the more you struggle

the more you're enchained

and it's more of a tuggle

than your fancy explained

to your heart when you determined

to engage your own pride

in a penance undermined

by the sense you set aside

think now of how hard

releasing your demon will be

now that you know the psychic cost

beware of your personality's appearing shard

that will tear you as what's best in you flies free

and you stumble bleeding and lost

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

I envy no one his position

what abilities spent

in bearing the distinct burden

he acquired in ignorance

of the Law

no pissing contents here

to determine who has life harder

or as to why the whole damn world

was built in this way

it has become so much more preferable

to stay out of the way

of those who've yet to learn this issue

and sit here at this sidewalk table sipping a beer

in the blazing sunshine of an ordinary day

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

there is nothing more to say when your time is up...

unless you want to hang around and shot the shit

over the ordinary daily world

that will be the same comic traveling circus

it has always been...

there's not much to say and nothing to do...

the only control over life you have

is your next move...and even then you have

no control over the outcome...

you just let it shake out as it will

and take it from there...

and if some ineffable power weighs

and measures the result then why sweat it?

you'll end up as you will and how would you know otherwise?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
for two more centuries

the assholes of the hierarchy will rule

our individual freedoms will be as nothing

we will be herded like sheep

and slaughtered like pigs

and we'll welcome it as an eternal norm...

and that's why if I have any real say over it

I won't reincarnate until two and a half centuries

have passed...I want to be among the ones who'll

reestablish human freedom so that each person

will be able to make him or her own moral choice...

for each to choose for him/herself their moral decision...

ages see-saw back and forth trying to strike

an elusive balance that might be the closest we get to grace

but the last word is not ours

and the struggle to enlightenment carries on

from age to age...and I am glad to be done with this time...

nothing I've loved has survived...and nothing I want

will be found in this next era of horror in the disgusting world

we make of the beautiful earth....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

a long night fading

and I feel like

I'm going out

the way I came in

under a slowly

lightening pre-dawn sky

I feel as if

I lived in a dream state

for 50 years

and awoke to being the child

I was

but so suddenly old and worn

bewildered in the morning

of all and no time at once

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
love and fault aren't impossible to change...

just don't expect a miraculous intervention

causing an instantaneous relief

 if it takes more than this lifetime

to amend and repent and atone

then what of it? it will be

and you will be there when it is

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
let God weep with us then destroy us

for Perfection's sake

it's as foolish as expecting anyone

to really learn their lesson

the wise one who is fool to his own vanity

the fool who is wise by just being the fool

we are monkeys in some abominable cage

and we throw shit at each other

and laugh our Cheetah laugh

we never really lost that wisdom did we?

let God weep with us then destroy us

for Perfection's sake

God will again be alone

while in our time we had a fucking ball....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

I have sexy thoughts today

better not write them out

we used to celebrate our sexuality

but a gang of hung-up Victorians

reincarnated and are now trying

to reimpose their mass psychosis

on this time in the world...

well so much for thinking we learn

and grow from lifetime to lifetime

some do but the rest just bring

their old baggage and throw it

up on elegant new racks

but the same bullshit will be faced

and the same failure to amend and repent

will go begging for a hearing...

too bad I've gotten old

I'll love to rock again...but then...another

part of me is fine with just letting

sexy thoughts remind me

that some embers still glow....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
a day that goes well

should be appreciated on its own terms

it doesn't mean

you've turned a corner

it doesn't mean

'happily ever after'

will happy or ever after

it just means that for one day

hounds of hell are on the leash

and whatever neutrality

of the Source is truly neutral

and unforthcoming

in the best way possible...

the One took a day off from punishing us....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

it isn't only me alone

torn by the processes

of creation and destruction

we share this fate

and if love gives us strength

to deny and defy

the madness of this reality

then let the Source save or damn as it will

we would...and do...forgive and release

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
our common course

is an uncommon twining of strands

that tug at each other

in the torque of pulling us up

it's so easy to die

and let extinction wipe out all posterity

but to survive and preserve and carry forth

now that is a measure of holiness

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


sadness this morning

no special reason

no grand existential angst

just the emptiness of being alive

lurking behind

all the hopes and plans

we make to avoid

feeling this sadness

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
not much to do

on a foggy Saturday morning

took my walk

looked as the wet cotton air

vague outlines of buildings

bleeding through the gauze

the world may elsewhere be going to hell

but right here

I'm not

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Friday, May 8, 2015

if I knew my place

I'd stay in it

so you see how this

may be a bit


for me

I can and I do

turn up everywhere

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
never expect

what you think you deserve…

you’ll overvalue yourself

every time….

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I had such a beautiful morning

warm hazy sunshine

women of all ages hot and sexy

in their shorts and summer dresses

people ambling on their way

to the train in their Friday morning calm

feeling the unity I imagine

unity to be

and then stupidly I thought of God

and oh how the sun dimmed and a darkness

laid waste to peace

and oh how the joy soured in the mouth of a demon

so I did what I know is right and

stopped thinking about God and was the happier for it

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

everything’s going on but nothing is happening…try too hard and lose it…not try hard enough…and lose it…wait expectantly and be disappointed…turn your attention elsewhere and see it whizz by from the corner of your eye…or get it and either fuck it up yourself or be denied by your fate i.e. god’s vengeance? I admire you if you think you know what you’re doing…and despise you even more if you believe that you do…because everything’s going on but nothing is happening…and our efforts go down the same tube…whether we succeed or fail…now…what to make of that?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

and so the daily earthly toil

sustains our spirits after all

gives us the strength

to rise in the morning

then fall exhausted at night

and what portals of the fantastic

open in our gathered sleep

to renew the field of our living

there the grief we give each other

hammers home the illumination

that the shoe pinches and the heart bleeds

but the fleeting instant of timelessness

renews what joys and peace empower

the next 5 pm homeward crawl....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

when action subsumes all thought

and you move freely through your truth

remember the others moving freely through theirs

the only thing dividing us

are the illusions we choose to believe

and they are as real as we believe them to be

remember others in their truth as you move in yours

it is the same truth

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
you need a guru...a guide?

well you can't do it alone

even with the onus on you...

but be pure with your guru

because he/she is also

striving the same as you to be

exactly where the eternal

here and now is....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
count your blessings?

that's a false idea

if you lived in the instant

of the One's reality

then enlightenment

would make all blessings

and curses moot and show them as

the illusions they are

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
mercy on all who dream of love and forgiveness…so high is the One’s price….

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

in sorrow is weariness

in weariness is calm

in calm is peace

in peace is rest

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
deep night

rest is elusive

mind blank

as I watch

the waning

gibbous moon

rise over the roof

of the opposite building

no thought

of anything

but all memories

titivate under the skin

sorrow for loss

sorrow for waste

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


such is the world

that even Woody Guthrie

and his guitar that killed fascists

would were he still alive

lay down and say so long

it's been good to know ya

and die of knowing the bad guys

i.e. all of us won after all

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


well it's a work-a-day creation

we do our daily toil

when and how we can

and I'm looking for a sideline

that will do what

all this writing doesn't

i.e. pay some bills

and let me eat

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I woke up this morning

with new eyes

a new heart

a new mind

and a strange


that was just

my old ways departing

oh I can't

be smug about this

unless I want old habits

to re-entrench

and after all the troublesome sleep

I want to stay awake

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015 the real test...

to walk it like I talk it...

something I and everyone else does

every moment of every day...

think not of any idea of 'god'...

it will only make your blood boil with hatred...

if the good you do comes back to you

then you need nothing else...least of all...'god'

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
"what gods protect you?"


I'm on my own now...

now I'll see if this psycho bastard turd of a god

is as good as its word regarding forgiveness...

it wasn't going to stop until it destroyed me...

and now it has...and while I do as right as I humanly can...

let's see now what this turd does about it...

if I'm done for...then better to die than serve a demon....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
cinco de mayo

feel free chicos and chicas?

free to clean our toilets?

free to bus the privileged tables

of young rich spoiled liars

who exploit you but celebrate you

for being downtrodden?

welcome to America

where your champions are good to you

as long as you get their cocktails to them


Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I have reached bottom

the good news is

if I smash bottom

I'll flood into

the level below

and endure in that way

when God the unrepentant unreasonable evil


does nothing but damn us

then what really what does life matter?

you just go on doing the right thing

even if this alleged "God"

has no use for it...God wants immediate obedience?

let "Him" whistle..."He" thought

He would browbeat us into submission?

what a psychopathic idiot!

you don't one free then expect to damn one

for acting accordingly...

but who cares?...our conduct is up to us...

let us do the right thing for the right thing's sake

if that's not good enough...well then "Lawd"

ain't that just too bad....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Monday, May 4, 2015

maybe it's o.k.

that I didn't succeed

in my dreams

rather I had a real

productive life

serving others in

a certain world-class

library that I won't

mention the name of

because pompous assholes

took it over and are

running it into the ground

(see it as a .org brand of Dilbertism)

I probably did more right

in that capacity than my words

have done but what matters now?

good on some level wasn't denied

(probably because it was gained unconsciously)

and now anything that comes next

will never have the distinct flavor

of all the joy and grief I've entertained

this time around....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
my life wasn't 24/7 suffering

despite what my lack of talent

has portrayed all this time

many good memories

a lot of happy times

but I've just reached an age

where it's all in the past and it sucks

because damn it I'm not done yet

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I wander alone in a new world

I hate everything I see

instead of a brave new world and a shiny New Age

all I see are the old tyrannies

exalted by ignorant clowns

bound in their own motley self-disguises

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


the place seems so empty now

18 and a half years

(and almost a third of that time

suffering renal and thyroid problems)

but he was as sweet-tempered

as any cat I've ever lived with...

and stubborn!!!...strong-willed little beast...

it kept him alive I think...

his will and our love and caring...

blessing of blessings

he went quickly...and at home...

he rejoins his brother William

(my bud...whom I wrote of long ago...)

wherever cat energies endure and continue...

and a reminder to all of us who think we've the crown of creation...

megalomaniacal so like the psycho who created everything

but takes no blame...

just how much these animal spirits

are our superiors

in just about every way....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

I'm content to it let all go

and to go with it

wherever and however

I'll ultimately end up

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
the aged move slowly

like a membrane of air

barely remembering its form

as it wafts

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
disappearing in myself

I see streaks of suns and stars

spinning as I plunge

but no

I'm the one spinning

inside myself

watching as I disappear

the steady twilight

the unmovable stones of earth

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
death by number

expiration dates looming

empty my jar

and clean out the fridge

someone else

has gone food shopping

someone else

who is hungry and not dying yet

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
nothing to force

it's all coming down by itself

nothing to do about it

but sit with a stormy heart

in the beautiful warm morning

Content (c) 2008-2015Philip Milito.

Saturday, May 2, 2015

chilly night for the middle of Spring

the full moon has reappeared

from the other side of the roof

and continues its descent

in the western sky

what was I just thinking of...?

no's time to go to sleep

to awaken from dreams that will likewise be forgotten....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
memories have replaced me

here in this chair

watching the full moon rise until

it passes beyond sight over the roof

ask me who I am and I may answer you

in the Old French of Villon's time

or shake a beggar bowl at you

defying you to look me in the eye

from some marketplace in ancient Judea

ages before we met on Brighton Beach some years back

I could be anyone from anything

sitting here at the window

made of nothing but memories

that have replaced the missing moon

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
will you be happy without me

to make you feel good?

I should think fools

are a (pardon the cliche) dime a dozen

but each one is prized

like a special bauble

a half-forgotten token

of a meaningless triumph

it would take so little to make you feel good

that's why I can afford my disdain

me escaping with the loot

and you still in a swoon

over some long ago tactic

while I'm miles away looking out a train window

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


I will be an echo to your cry of distress

mocking you for abandoning me

to your vanity so I would suffer

the fate of a fool

a fool for love

a fool for love

that is what I will echo to your ear

when at last you are in distress

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
walking into my building

I heard from across the street

some saxophonist going through his scales

I yelled Coltrane!!!!!!...

there was a moment of silence

then he resumed his noodling

while I went into my building

as if I showed him something he wasn't already striving for....

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
I've ceased to care how I'll ultimately end up

if the One who demands I do right

punishes me for doing right

then just try telling me that

life isn't a sick joke at best

curse your god all you want

but you're only cursing yourself

you are still at war with the god of your imagination

that cartoon in your mind to whom you project

all your bitterness and self-hatred

but the Real Deal is equally unmercifully neutral

leaving on our constant and weak evolution

damages that wreck all the progress

that would teach us otherwise

oh the One is the One and nothing remedies that

and this sick painful way is how we go

and how we learn hoping not to lose the lesson

if all the good I do doesn't matter

then it doesn't matter what I do

it's on us and that alone should wake us from our thousand years slumber

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


psycho scumbags rule the universe

they take their cue from a higher source

but those of us who go against god

by staying humble and helping each other

do right and suffer for it

much as I love being alive

I'd rather die than serve power mad evil

no matter who exhibits this unforgivable trait

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.



I admit it freely at last

I love life

I love being alive

but in the name of all that's

allegedly holy

is this what forever is?

incarnation after incarnation

in pig shit worlds

where we kill each other

because we cannot kill God?

and our own self-hatreds never end?

asking yet again where the mercy forgiveness and grace

while all consequence drags us down our black holes?

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


life is active and ongoing

and will lead to whatever end

we will merit by the fulfillments

of the One's command to rejoin The Harmony

when I talk of endings

I'm just this earthly Philip Milito identity

while the Entity that is my Real Higher Self Me

in Its True Actuality

presses on sadly enduring the ignorance of each incarnation

the Source has the Final Word on Everything we do

we make our choice in the instant of action

and leave the rest to its Ultimate Outcome

what a total drag to be in the flesh

what a prison is life surrounded by those who've yet to find out for themselves

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.

Friday, May 1, 2015


don't know when anything I can still do

in this world can resume

don't know if there's anything left to do

or if it will even matter whether it gets done

I'm empty I'm done

but a divine judge still gouges some price out of me

and I'll either find out the reason for this misery

or there'll be nothing and that will be that

whatever awaits me on the other side of death

I'm ready to find out

I'm ready to go

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.


no money left

and while those fortunate enough

to have work celebrate

this May Day

some of us here

don't quite get the resonance

even those who have just enough

will find it gone soon enough

of course there will always be a May Day

and of course there will always be those destitute

even Jesus said 'the poor will always be with you'

speaking for the Father

who spoke of the wicked prospering

and the good suffering


no spirit left

and ever at the mercy of

the heartless self-satisfied

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
escape is not an option

and righteousness is destruction

quiet the voice in your head

and you'll clearly hear

nothing you can use

but you will be liable

whether you do something or nothing

what is is and nothing changes that

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
reality as is

is harder than any soul can bear

so don't try to engage it

it is an illness

that only madness could cure

and even then

madness is just the minus side of any

risk/benefit equation

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.
it doesn't look good for the hero

he's taken for granted by his admirers

who somehow are never around

while he's up to his chin in quicksand

(being a Type-A can-do jackass

he never learned to float)

trying to save an ungrateful victim

of some enemies who's breaking his balls

as if they were married

well he asked for it

and they all gave it to him

every hero is disposable

when everyone thinks of himself

as a hero

while being foe to each other


try saving yourself next time

that'll be comeuppance

Content (c) 2008-2015 Philip Milito.