many thanks for the new head--

it fits so well

I do not believe I will ever

miss the old one--

going forth passed what finish line

through what winner's circle to release--

the race at last run in patience--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the void beckons

without calling out

what you hear

is the blood rushing

through your ear

like an ocean roar

or a wind's passing

or pick whatever

tired metaphor

inadequately conveys

the speechless wonder

being alive conveys--

no--not our doings--

those stumblings toward some light

but the awareness itself

outlasting all experience

by ever being the ground

of experience--

undoubtedly we

will meet up again

or just as undoubtedly we won't--

I know as much and as little

as the rest of us

but what does that matter--

in this moment fleetingly

eternal or eternally fleeting?--

what does it matter?

now is all

and that's all for now--

for those who can hear

for those who can see

that's all for now

O ears!

O Eye!

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

you needn't have worried--

everything's turning out fine--

the bread ever sustains--

and blood the spirit's wine

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

welcome

I heard a voice say

in my inner ear--

at last

the answer--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the work winds down--

somehow

I'll believe it

when the work

is done

and the

winding down

continues--

plenty of time then

to wonder

then let go of wonder--

acceptance

hard after

all

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

world

upon

world

rolls

forward

never

describing

the

same

arc

the

same

orbit

the

same

swing

through

the

solar

system

or

the

same

solar

system

through

the

galaxy

each

pass

through

the

same

the

same

but

different

and

every

event

once

in

infinity

the

same

difference

through

the

ever

same

eternity

we

all

know

and

all

forget

and

all

remember

was

has

been

once

yet

yet

to

be

including

and

all

attempt

to express

the

inexpressible

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

this has been done

and so has this

and this

and this

doesn't matter

what this

is it

just is

and is

just done

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I carry a load of memory that is the content of my soul--

at least I know for sure who I am and accept the disgrace--

oh--there's the overweening self-effacement that signals deep

elf-centeredness again--my sin none other than trying to do

the master woodchipper's chipping for him

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I know we will cross paths again

our business isn't done

everyone leaves a dangling end

to trip up on as if humiliation could

be felt by egotists

what fool would expect a fool land on his ass

and suddenly have a shining farhead (joke intended)

I can't even believe I'm dribbling out these lame

little bon mots not so bon and hardly mots

but good enough to say what a way

to sign off as I exit the gate through which I entered

and look one last earthly time at the black shape of a house

in a field blocking an increasingly smaller area

of deep blue twilight and bright blots of planet (Venus--

no--Jupiter) in the deep blue twilight I've been awaiting

my entire life--how I love twilight--how much more love the night--

the soothing stars dappling the Hanged Man as he leaves the Wraecca

on his road and follows St. Milito on another dance...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

why does anyone think I'm depressed--

just because I long for fuller life outside this skin?

or does anyone think so because I don't believe

I and each of us carry that fullness in side of us?

I must've been drawn reversed--

I must dangle from the tree again--

I look down to look up

past crossed leg and bound foot to the empty sky

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

now that death comes so near

I love life the more?

oh...don't know about that--

maybe more the gift of age

to not have to chase after

what now is coming so near

(I won't confuse matters by saying

life continues after these bodies end--

I will not watch one disbelief fight another--

why? we'll all settle up somewhere together--

so why rush the perpetual reckoning?)

I'm fine with the moment I'm fine with right now

and who but a fool would give a shit anyhow?

it is only the Now that is ever near--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

come here

come hear the moans

come near the bones and watch the wind crumble them

come jeer at the wind

come fear

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

oh well oh hell said I once before and probably will again

every time I trust a loved one

I'm popped in the ass beyond what I can endure

oh hell oh bloody well I think I'll say for sure

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

perfect scenario for damnation--

I have no brains

and God had no mercy

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the time has arrive for transformation

I will change yet still be the same--

all will be different yet nothing will be new--

I will be happier than since the day my mate finally found me--

I give in and rejoin--what else?

it was always this and I was always that--

but nothing changed but our minds--

and nothing matters but our hearts

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

so this is how the years resolve themselves--

a lifetime of loss and waste--and then suddenly it doesn't matter anymore

and you're free to go but you linger a bit--release now truly coming soon enough--

whether it be 30 man-made seconds or 30 hard-scrabble years

Content 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the Hanged Man has a surprise for you--

you doubting Thomases--I made it through--

thanks for nothing--I'll be there to see you get yours--

my trick is not to enjoy it too much--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I have no plan

why bother?

I can only get by

on what god allows

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the petty and stupid reign ever on earth--

and all of us are subject to these tyrants--

that is the soul's struggle here in the earth--

to stay free--despite the consensus of our slack-jawed murderers

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

time called on account of fear--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Q: Huh?

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

going out the way I came in--only this time

they moved the hole--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I've said good bye so often

people leave out the breakfast cereal and fruit--

won't they be surprised when they find

I've finally conquered my god-damned appetite

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

my announced intention fluttered and fell

but I followed it down--I knew I'd be well--

in all ruins of what I imagined I'd be

all I needed had finally come to renew me--

be assured if you want something hard enough you won't get it

it's just your vanity asking--and you'll grow to regret it--

so don't waste your time in bother and blame--

all you want will come if on it you lay no claim

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the waning moon

shines on the hanged man

he looks down at the sky--

imperturbable--

it is not quite time to release himself from this detachment

to stand on the earth

as he looks as he looks down on it--his feet unaccustomed--

accepting the forward thrust of being--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

deliver me from these harpies O Almighty--

and I will deliver you

from my tiresome lamentations

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

you give up in time to give in

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the least will suffer

while the most will excuse themselves

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

God help us for once

save us from your true believers--

or are they truly your instruments of vengeance?

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

media the worst whores of all--

owned by the rich bastards

media's sole duty is to hold its tongue

about their bosses

while playing hatchetmen for them

with those hungry and empty enough

for their fifteen entitled minutes of self-humiliation--

masters and slaves every night with team coverage at 11--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

people hate their leaders

as they love themselves--

tangible--controllable

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

poor old soul leaving himself behind--

forever saying good bye to those

who said good bye to him long long ago

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I and I whirl from the twirl

I and I sick mon

I and I puke from a revelation

I and I found in da cow cod soup

O Lion of Judea

maka waya

I and I do as do con

but I and I so sick from it mon

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I am the Hanged Man

neither straight nor reversed

but spinning with my tree

as an abyss swallows it up

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

praise the foot in the mouth that prevents you from putting

one or two more in there--

praise the misunderstanding that diverts you from a

ill-fated commitment--

praise the loss of what you thought you couldn't live without

for the peace you find afterward--

praise the praise and praise the scorn--without these

your world would have no limits

and would only trick you beyond yours--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I wake in the morning

rising from my bed cursing the Lord--

such is how the fool in me expresses

himself--while I get up and out

to do his dirty work--and all his mendacity

goes on my tab--

God's Bar And Grill--

Serving day and nightly--wake to my breakfast bereavement--

*

for those tired of runny assed poetry (wee wee wee)

I have a solution...

...

...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

received wisdom is deceived wisdom

don't leave home without your soul

or you'll live and die by jelly roll

your diet relieved jizzum--

(oh mr. honey what do I do now with all these end rhymes?

these hums and comes and bums and chums and rums and ta-dums?

these boles and nulls and goals and trolls and shoals andholes and wholes?

not to mention...well...not to mention...

so mr. honey are you conceived? bereaved? retrieved? believed?

leave home with your soul and the rest to the --ah cheating here--cold...

*

HA! new content? new execution?

well, maybe--perhaps--I guess--we'll

see...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I give you courage--

or try--taking my own strength for granted

when I'm not feeling it's spent--

but because it is not for me

that strength IS renewed and

I give you courage--or try--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

one year at this blog--

everything's changed but nothing's new--

so I say something or not--

and the blog will end when God only knows when I'm through

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

as if a thing like love mattered

cynic and optimist would agree

each would see what they'd want to see

and by their own vanity be flattered

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

last of the old

nothing I forgot

just getting used to a change

of medium and a shift

in self-identity

I am no longer who I was

but these baby steps will send

my aged skull to the sidewalk

if this keeps up ending the line

layer after layer

line upon line

I work toward finding

what my purpose is now

and what I do to manifest it

at least the poet is finally dead

(ignore the form in which I am writing this

it is mere force of habit)

a ghost of his sad pomp lingers in the fingers

itches under the skin

scratching the belly of a twice-poisoned dog

as I forget once and for all

the clownish mental pratfalls

of imitating Artaud

having his art and eating it too

oh at least that is finally dead

now I will sit easily in my own chair

histrionics exhausted

the matter at hand very at hand

how strange to have no self-image now

after years playing an ever lengthening movie in my head

the biography uttered by the narrator

another sound left in its own hearing

as I'm loosed from this theater

I yet a boy straggling after the saturday matinee

in the bright spring sunshine

wondering what can I do next

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

a fire--

a low distant flicker

in a far-off alleyway

and whatever

is happening there...

*

After December 1st, 2009--new content--new approach for this blog--

or not--

I may a ton of things to say--and share more adequately--

or I will find myself done and all these writings will be left

to be found or not--

read or not--

ignored or not--

of use to one stumbling on their way

and also stuck in realms such as these--

or unknown to all but souls

and spirit essences at this level

of development-

I am engaged

whether anyone engages with me

and somewhere somehow

this energy is out there--

for those with ears, etc. etc.--

the coming world

I do not like--

my time is up

my time is past

but I am here to make

of an end what I will

and all those

remains will

do is

nourish

some

other's

new

cycle

and

so

it

is

as

it

is

and

see

you

one

way

or

another--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Parousia?---

WHEN???

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

what hard lessons

we endure

will do little but make

our dooms assured

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

what agony the world may know

will direct you where you need to go

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

torn and scattered

like leaves

like hearts

each piece separate

on the ground

united in the dust

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I had no way of knowing

I had no way of knowing

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

jabs

the false sting

the overwrought complaint

the isolation of vanity

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I must be aging--

the hurts are absorbed

into a vagueness

of weary wisdom

or so I think--

aging as I am who I think

I am or was was all

excuse for acquiescence

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

what can be other

than what it is?

including ineluctable modality

and your interpretation?

and how often deny it

defy it and die slowly of it?

and how often rely on such excuse

as pardons the blind for their blindness?

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I am amazed at the world--

we might as well be back

one or two or ten thousand years

but the yammering hatreds and pettinesses--

the utility of brute stupidity

and the cunning of principled deceit--

are the same the same ever the same--

that is what it is to be in flesh--

this is what it is to be in the earth

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I feel the air swirl around me again

again I am stationary turning direct

nothing to go back to so forward I go

nothing to go back to so forward I go

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

lawdy what do I do now?

I sold my pig and I sold my cow--

on three beans a day I gorge and how

oh lawdy what do I do now?

Content (c) 2008-209 Philip Milito.

just thought I'd outwit the sheriff

by squeezing through thishere hole in the fence

but damned if the hen didn't give me away

with its clucking--

should've broken the fucker's neck--

sheriff or chicken I cain't decide--

sheet!--back to the shed--the bare trees--

the carpet of leaves in my front yard--

the low dull sun--and fifty-seven children in the crawlspace--

mad that there's no mo' clean well water--

damn socialist wants me t' drink the same

water everybody else does--

hmmm--how'd my ol' hound taste after a few hours

on the spit?

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the world beneath the world I inhabit

is bubbling up like a geyser

I think I shall sit on the rim

and see where I am blown this time

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

conservatives are ipso facto idiots

this is why God invented them--

so they may be the death of us all--

thank ya Jesus--thank ya Lawd

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

why am I pushing

why am I pushed

why am I asking

why am I asked

why I am asking why

am I being pushed to push

this is not as simple

as your mockery makes it

because I am pushed into

asking why am I asked to be pushed

(gertrude stein

trudest gerein

steinger trude

steintrude ger)

kenneth burke

and jonathan williams

will also do

too

why I asked them

why they asked

so I shut my mouth and

they got it

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the bittersweet twilight

gray as a stone slab

is comfort to the winds capering 'round

the hard edge of stasis--

the fingers of air caress the rock heart--

the final fixity of this mode of being

lies in the joyful stillness of subsumed memory

and experience into the last view of ribbed red sundown--

the dense night falls over the last echoes of scattered leaves--

peace in the bare branches tangling upward the soft sky--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I may not be able

to hoist you up

the ladder myself--

but I can be at the top--

ready with as strong a hand

as God has allowed me to form--

to help you as you left yourself

up off the top rung

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

here I must go another way--

my time at this is empty

with all said and done--

here I must try as I may

the fresh doing that will free me

to undertake what has begun--

the finish of my closure

that by justice is my exposure--

so I am revealed in my leaving--

notions abandoned to awe beyond believing--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the world changes around us

from instant to instant---

every move we take a fresh start

every move we make culminate

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

caught in my own compulsive nets again--

chewing my way through the strands yet again--

I know of no other way to live

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

hear all the things I'd forgotten to say

echo under the skin of my face

like violent waves of a gray sea

washing away the shore of my peace

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the permanent view of the Eternal Instant

belongs to everyone--

and each of us will finally know it

when each of us forgets himself utterly--

clear sight transcending imagined identities

and humility opening up awareness

of who each of us really is--

in the clear sight--in the permanent view

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

every time I open my eyes

I see I'm still in the earth--

will I know the release of death

when it comes or will I be

one of these fools who wake up

to super-vivid forms and wondering why

the door knob won't turn when I grab it?

how long 'til I stick my head through the door

and gasp at the unbelievable morning with my first

phrase a bewildered 'what--the--fuck?'

ah... to what we all have to look forward---

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I've fallen a great distance off my footstool

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

a last look at all I thought

was the end of lessons and suffering

the lessons continue

the suffering continues

I have nothing to add

and nothing to take away

I have no grudge after all

the raging hurts of those

who got over

now they will have to be God's business

we are denied vengeance--best of all--

because we lack the One's totality--

we're not there yet

but it's in us and seeps out

when most we need to recall

the breakage that will heal--the healing that will finish--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

here is the last of the mourning--

the loss is so long ago

it is no longer

remembered by the earth--

I carry it in mind

and even how it colored

my days has faded

even my thought cannot hold it

completely anymore--

even the wailing has subsided

and only the wind given sound

by the skin of my ears

is empty of association--here at

the last of any mourning

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

all

I

have

I

have

because

I

wanted

it--

I

will

never

know

in

this

skin

what

it

was

you

thought

I

wanted

from

you

but

you

did

not

care

that

you

were

wrong--

so

easy

to

be

friendly

when

you

don't

have

to

back

it

up

but

then

who

but

a

little

fool

would

be

interested

in

anyone

but

a

little

fool

I

am

sure

you

will

both

be

very

happy

until

you

are

not

and

I

am

happy

too--

you

two

deserve

each

other

and

I

deserve

to

be

spared--

nice

how

it

all

works

out

when

you

let

it--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

you lack my courage

and I lack your sense

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

here is all I need to tell you--

( )

hear me?

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

why am I still in remorseful mode?

is it from being slammed in the earth too long

and knowing any hope is truly nothing?

why am I still in expectant mood?

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I sent out my joy

super-powered--

as if I'd discovered

all my loves

preserved perfectly--

and only found

myself--thinking very

very hard...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

where we step now

watch for the quicksand of savage conformity--

this appears to be the Age for it--

the Aquarian Principles bad disgust

for another murderous regime of polite condescension

oppression and vengeance--

all the old power laying doggo--patient as the lion

waiting for the monkey to fall out of the tree--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

my Tourette prayers--

hoping the One hears past the words...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

waste

waste

one must be broken as a root

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

on the cobbled street (yes one remains unscarred

by asphalt)

echoes of lion roar and swift wings overhead--

or so he received it

years before the motorcycle launched him

to the other side--

where he knew then first-hand

the veracity of his visions--

of which we have in his art the traces--

which he left us going into that region

and sounding in divine frequency

echoes of lion roar and swift wings overhead--

(for Richard Farina)

Contents (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

quiet imperfections delight our days--

the little nicks in the appetite

that are soothed by an inclusive gaze

into the middle ground over

a cup of coffee--

sorry to be of this world

but not sorry to be in it--these thoughtless

attachments gifts for the fallen--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the defeat of our time is not greatly mourned--

we're tired of it

and though we have no great love for the hells

to come--our defeat is as welcome as relief--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

garbage from the mouths of saints--

hard truths from the sinners

their only contrition regret they didn't get over--

garbage in the hosannas

garbage in god's love

garbage in the useless suffering--

it's all shit say the wearied saints

their only sorrow regret they were so holy about it--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

right action is the wrong mode

for the world--

here you will suffer unmercifully

for a god who'll weep for you

while scumbags and assholes

destroy everything they touch

and all you can do is die of hatred--

made ugly by the god's so-called love

Contents (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I'm no longer a poet--

haven't been for years

now what do I do

that I should have done already--

engage imbeciles in the name of the Lord--

lower my head repeatedly for my own error--

get battered by God to put me in my right purpose--

get hung out in dry for not knowing my right purpose--

why this endless shit--

I look at the world and realize reincarnating

life and life isn't such a deal--

masses of morons measureless choking the earth--

what's their punishment for wasting life after life

and obviously not having learned anything--

I'm no longer a poet

haven't been for years

because I'm an idiot too for not learning--

until now that is...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

...the ringlets of sun through the curtain...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I will attend your need

by giving you hope--

even if I'm in short supply myself---

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I'm called to account--

I endure the result--

suffer the consequence

and hope--and hope--and hope--

this God of Love

is a God of Mercy--

I've already atoned

of God's vengeance

and hope--and hope--and hope--

this failing of my time

I'll account for and endure and suffer--

the result--the consequence--the hope--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

a different world now subsists in the earth--

and it is through this overlay of consciousness--

this aggregate of minds

born of and displacing our tribe

of aging pseudo-mystics--

that all entitlement and advantage for this time's souls

prepare for their own fading--coming so soon

this full bloom will be but an instant in memory

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

who needs to be spared will be spared--

who needs to be slain will be slain--

I've no clue how I must be prepared--

and no amount of visualization will ever explain

how I will come out the small end clear

or why the Ancient of Days decided this is how it will be

but ever the reckoning draws near--

and ever it makes no difference to me--

Content (c) 2--8-2009 Philip Milito.

in this world

it is a crime

to have

a working forebrain

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I do not really look forward

to returning to the earth in some future skin--

what I hate most now

will be standard procedure by then--

but it always has been and always will be this monstrosity

but whatever earthly life will veil that fact

and another life be wasted in the delusion

of faith and hope and love that bids us to act

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

my pride has finally taken its fall--

I must treat of privileged ignoramuses

who reserve the right to destroy the world

on behalf of their hungers--

while God weeps

while God all-powerfully weeps

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

back to being the fool

back to trusting in God and my fellow Man--

assholes all

all creation a joke in the mind of a psychopath

Content (c) 2008-2009 PhilipMilito.

I gave you nothing you didn't have--

but wanting it was a reason to join our worlds

--so we opened a view into the swirling night

that was different for the candlelight casting

a flickering amber radiance against the window frame

while dim saffron tore shreds through the raging clouds

and we sat in the window of the slate twilight

and knew this moment fully as it passed--this we gave each other--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

stars fall out of the heavens perpetually--

one of these eons it will be our turn--

blaze we in some sky beyond our knowing

so it is we will be in another eye--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I feel the fires of the body

as bonfires on autumn beaches

an intensity around

a shivering diminishment

oh we all shake eventually

but oh--to burn together

our shared heat restoring the fields

the wheat the honey the swirling islands of stars

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the past tingling under my skin--

the sense-memory finally fading to my consciousness--

I'm empty and listless on the rainy bed

of this gray morning this harbinger

of a permanent condition

given strength only by our misinformation

and surge against it reaching across a season where

now the future is a warmth on my arms

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

a pause in the weather--

jumped from green leaves to brown curling remains--

the layered gray sky overhangs our focused traveling

cold cold get to where we need be to be warm

the pivot in the stillness

as the season itself turns on this axis

the flooding tides of our passions sloshing forward

taking us taking us taking us

Content (c)2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the last soft shading into black from gray...

the lit sky of stormy autumn

bright on the horizon

under the slab of cloud

underscoring the oppressive

weight of nature in our every move...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

lovely creatures fill the Light...

but I am here in the dark

damn it! I'm

still here--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

forgive

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I will not push I will not fuss

they want me so badly let them kill me themselves

otherwise I will slip my bonds

and disappear between the whispers and murmurs

of the ruthlessly earth-bound

who will die of their hungers in a final death

the Lord did not intend for them

and flee with my life toward the Light

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I do not recognize the place I started from--

yet here it is around me as different from them

as I am--

somehow time slipped another world between us

and I fear

I will not recognize the place I will end in--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I can sense snow in the higher elevations--

down here the ground's still too warm

and the leavings of a misty heart rise and crystallize

my aspirations whirling in the higher elevations

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

a softness far aloft

over the ravenous din of greed and heat and power

every soul his own tyrant

every tyrant his own worst victim

though they kill us incidentally

we must dodge their thunderous falls

we--like me--who aspire in some measure to

that softness far aloft

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I rejoin my body as it declines

into the earth--back from 45 years adrift--

in time to see the long leaning rays of sundown

coat the soft night in its copper glow

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

oh if i am not mistaken

i just involved myself with that

from which i was trying to disengage

i.e. holding myself back...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I was called from deep inside my nerves

to log on and begin this..............................

........................................................................................

..........................................................................................................

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

we are keeping this channel open--

different voices than heard before

will filter in to deface the earth with

their cacophony--

and we--if we're as all that as we think we are--

can discern out of the roaring

the single sweet song of the tree toad

telling of simplicity unheard--

may that toad be heard through

this channel left open

for who will come after--

for who will be left--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

we're great ! but

we lapse a lot

cannot sustain ecstasy

past the eternity of its instant

but are satisfied to walk

in these skins

suffused with clarity

before things go dark

Content (c)2008-2009 Philip Milito.

none stay here long--

but the ones who rebel most brilliantly

are those who mourn

how incredible the cosmic splendor and

how incredible our ability to diminish it for ourselves--

they flare briefer than most--but ohh-how deeply

they've carved their intensity into the air itself--

that immemorial streak on the record of time--

Content 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I stand renewed but ready for what?

the long cigarette smoke of the wet

glittering city twilight curls and diminishes

in the tiny pinpoints of rain--

and Bert Jansch comes back to me

over 40 years--"Needle of Death"--

"It Don't Bother Me""--filled my head

in another rainy twilight of blankness--

in youth--before the horror I suspected my life

would be came to pass--

and now--a tingling desolation of hollowness

nearing the fullness of the long evening of age--

ready or not--I stand renewed for the last sprint

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I do not belong to insanity--

I cannot be taken by force

I will not rejoin humanity--

I will leave it as matter of course

whether I end up enslaved by or free

of whatever sin is my downfall

or whether what blessing will give me

some wonderous salvation at all

so I will not wonder nor worry the issue

I suspect too little to be accurate--

a hibernating beast living off its tissue--

an unbreakable deep emanating fate

that lifts me rising from this downfall

pulling out the aspiration from the remorse

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

a single stolen kiss

reverberates through mind

forever

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

here this won't hurt--

the liar--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

somewhere

there is playing and drinking and fucking going on

there--now you know all you need to know about the world

now you know all there is about the world--

Earth--we'll discuss another time--

but the world you've got down...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

hardy-har-har motherfucker

I gots da drop on yoooou

One is ever appalled

at the quality of thief who separates

you

from your conquest of the material

the thief--another one who thinks he's a god

the victim-another one who thinks he's a god

I am POWER I am served

i am power i serve

pray to whom you're most comfortable accommodating

while I am sorry I didn't stop writing this after

One is appalled

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

soft little doofus dripping away

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

black pebbles in my hand--

again I fall

again I float rushing with the current

to the harbor on whose shores

I shall rise up onto the beach--

pebbles beneath my feet

Contents (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

no rope dropped down into the hole

so I clawed my way up the walls--

almost made it out too

until some asshole threw a thick coil

of rope on my head

and knocked me down again ho ho ho

good intent indeed--

but it's power of realization we need

look I'm down again--(such help)

easier to bury me and easier for all 0f us

to forget--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I long for the day when the work is done

when the day is done

when the race is done

at least this leg of this earthly sojourn

so I can turn to the work that will begin

when the day lightens to begin

and agin we rev up for the race to begin

to continue on to the next leg...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

if help came when you needed it

you wouldn't need it

ask and ye shall receive?

give and you SHALL take-

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I am already where I am going--

but when the hell do I GET there?

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I thought it was important--

I thought it mattered whether right mattered--

I thought I'd add my voice to our choice

and through the years--here and there--

I found a few who agreed

and we acknowledged to each other we agreed--

and as we parted we thought it important

that we acknowledged the choice of right--

and through the years this convention

wore as thin as the edge of a collar--

right and wrong indistinguishable--

I thought I'd remove my voice from the clamor--

I thought vows mattered only when they mattered--

I thought it was no longer important

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

no one can help me--not even me--

any lesson is slow in coming and often lost

between the doing and the done--

going on too much and getting too late

and all I'm left with for my pains are boring anecdotes--

but I cannot lie down for very long

and after the flood of emotion subsides

I'll rise again--and shake myself--weeds clinging to my side

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

anything that goes on here

will only be known to God and the Host

the rest of you could care less

not knowing what they themselves are doing here

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I cannot lead

for no one follows--

good--

I'll leave these words here

for whoever will find them

and whoever will find them

will get them or not--

I follow their lead--and not follow--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

stupid and blind

(but not unkind)

she wanders in her dither--

and only her confusion with her

this is her condition--

this is what she knows--

she has built her tradition

and it upholds her where she goes

in her grope of fear

she'll evade hope that's near

and miss another transition

from what has left to what will go

nothing especially unkind

but stupid and blind

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I cannot hope for resolution

in a mind-set like mine--

hardened by habitual stupidity

the wise man but only in his own mind--

but how all of this fades when

the thinking box is turned off

and a taste of fruit sweetens

the mild early evening

low western light slanting copper glow

on the building fronts while a soft blue sky

to the east promises the suspension of conflict

if not resolution and the mind-set less set

vulnerable like a crab picked out of its shell

and out of any worry

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I have a sinking feeling

that this was all for nothing

no will to rise at the moment--

no strength to close the eyes--

but floating on ennui

produces an imitation of reflection

all this pain for a mere joke--

that knowing it's nothing IS something...

losing count and going down

the third time and thinking it's the second--

no strength to open the eyes--

no will to swim or make any effort--

whatever it was all for is 'so what?'

considering my next test arrives while I ponder

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

he'll be released

when his term is done

that day approaches

he just doesn't know which one

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

low

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

if I knew where I was going

I'd be there already--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito

I'm almost certain

the day will play out

without any strong

deadly interference

a tiny prayer

in the mouth

of Moloch

by one being consumed

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I don't know about you

but I sure as shit ain't ready

for any cosmic change of mind--

I exhausted my own imagination

wondering about betterment

and progress and transcendence

so much that I'm stymied by their occasions

rising out of life as it actually is--

my adjustment slow and persistent

among these sharp awarenesses--

wound sustained and proud scar--

and contrition for have just blown it again--

and mind changed for me--

ready or not

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

still looking for the Fullness

the heart exhausted by the endless striving

but at some point the striving WILL end

and in that consciousness the heart will rest

full

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

don't listen to the ignorant

(they do more than enough damage)

do what you must as well as you can

but the result is not yours

your doing is part of a bigger process

and if it turns out differently for lack of your effort

it is still a result of which we are part

be grateful for being looked after by One Greater

be happy to be part of a bounty

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

how can one hate me but love my work

or hate my work but love me?

we're one and the same--

My work IS me and I my work--

what the hell is wrong with you people?

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

so nice outside the compound tonight--

the puffy clouds are dispersing

and the gibbous moon inching slowly

across the skies toward fullness

overhang the barren earth

with smoke still rising from craters

that were once the dwellings

of what were called men--

field hands emerge from the distance

under this saffron twilight

as they approach they remove their headgear--

smiles over a successful day of scavenging--

bits of the old world building the new--

and the world continues around the compound tonight...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

all I love I've always had--

but never so deep and never so true

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

now I can see why

one gets so weary

living so long

and only to accept

the unchangeable conditions

we are broken upon

the urge to repent in itself

a snare and delusion if not done right

so in that weariness

comes the acceptance after a time

of every delusion falling before

the irreducible facts

now no excuse suffices

it's the cold reality or it's nothing real

and it's all I have and all I am

and it's all I have and all I am

and it's all I have and all I am

and it's all I have and all I am

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

his clock had no hands

but I thought I'd ask anyway--

"what ti...?"

"any time you want it to be"

how predictable--

even the Delphic Oracle

has to throw out the occasional

punchline to see if he's being listened to--

then he asked me

"which way to the world?"

and so I said

"I don't kn0w--

I just came from there--

I have no compass..."

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the ground beneath me

started to give way

and I found myself

sliding down an incline

at accelerated decline

and my eyes

saw the former vistas

I had traversed

gleaming like a late

sunlit afternoon

on the brickface

of apartment houses--

that evening glow of

elongated gold--

how sweetly memory

renders the torturous

journey of that ignorant

progress to this moment

of unspecified half-forgotten

grief and of full blazing recall

of joyousness so ecstatic

its only trace is enough

to color the whole life

in a weary satisfaction

strong enough to balm

the butt-burning slide

into the shadowed forests

below--

the very earth reclaiming

the bodies it lent to us

as we leave the peak of this life's

occurance--the unrepeatable times

preserved in other realms

ready to receive us on

our arrival on the forest floor--

but in no rush--

no rush at all

I've my whole life to get there--

and a whole life to come--

the closing of the earth

an opening of the sky

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

oh what I will do

and how I will do it

will be shown

in the moment

of taking action--

when what is at hand

will give up its inertia

and mould the physical interference

into practical application--

hands-on in a world of amputees

because the power of Mind

handled it--

you'd have to grow a new mind

like a starfish grows a new limb

and how much so

is what I'll know when I take

action and see for myself

what I'll do and how I'll do it...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the goddess in every museum Madonna

or pornographic pin-up lurks--

ever the call of the divine

from sensuous hot heaving flesh

the lover who seeks the completion

the fulfillment of the merge--

oh poor goddess--

you are poor done by

in this ravenous world

of men who eat only skin

and of sapphic sisters who worship

themselves rather than you in them--

I have given up finding in myself

the mildness such sadness instills

when old enough

no fire warms and no come hither

brings anything forth--

our times are something we don't quite get

when we are involved in their passing--

and we go with them to exquisite essence

the form of which is our limited aspiration

is the deluded apprehension of our familiar bodies--

oh the astonishment when these forms cease

and we confront yet again

in our cycling lives

the goddess

unhidden at last

manifest as ever

the appearances of ego

done and done and

done

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

all in the moment

where act is it's own thing done

and our awareness provides the continuity

that is our happening

our being

our wherefore and why

all the rest is fiction

a made up imposition

by the misunderstanding of the frightened

cut them slack

forgiveness is easy

being forgiven is hard

and in the crucible of the instant

and our act

is where we are purged

of our misapprehensions

and the matter be

irreducible fact

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

dread of lunacy ebbing from mind

as the moon rises and nothing happens

but its rising

dread of dull rationality also recedes

(I'd rather fart in bathwater than chair

an official meeting)

imbeciles roll up their sleeves and start pillaging

like werewolves--I needn't say why--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

long evening of knives

the black shadows of the ceiling corner

the starlight shining on the glitters in the stone

the dark horizon distinguished from a darker sky

the guttering candle

swift breeze of the changing season

a night in 15th century England

a night in 23rd century Sudan

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

it spills out of me like sugar from a torn sack

this horseshit I call my art

I cannot believe I wrecked my life

chasing someone else's idea of eternity

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

God damn it!

no reason--

just

God damn it!

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

so close now to the time we've long awaited--

the turning of the age--

the revelation at last--

and very few ready to receive this apocalypse--

and fewer who don't know anything about ready

but ready nonetheless in complete ignorance

of the yawning reality

stretching up ahead--

the sky opening inside the skull

the vista vast beyond seeing

another dada experiment

nearly a century after it was fresh

but in eternity--its own actuality--

and it lets us in--

it pours into the skull

and encloses us--

this apocalypse actual at last--

centuries of prophecy coming to term--

no longer legend but eternal fact--

not some tale in the shaman's vocabulary--

but beyond it--beyond it--

the actual that engenders the distortion

that is our eyes blunt by veils--

now they fall--

now they reveal--

the revelation at last

the turning of the age

the time we've long awaited

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled activity

you're probably tired of my poisonously vatic mode

but so am I

besides I must serve--God demands that I serve--

but when I try

to serve I'm prevented from then damned for not serving--

my intent is good but that doesn't matter--

and perhaps I shouldn't have bothered writing

since karma demanded a redress of wrongs

that precluded words from being my means

of service--or did I just evade my purpose

with heavy-duty self-mythologizing?--

with all the harm irreparably done

I'll leave for a bit--or for good--drop a line or not--

I don't know--I just going off to find

what the hell it is God wants me to do...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

curse Cooper for cutting

the spider pit scene--

I don't care if it was 'his' movie--

he destroyed O'Brien's best animation

(at least O'Brien thought so)

because he was too lazy

to edit it in a better fashion--

if he felt it ruined the flow of the film--

(which might be the case

if Jackson's recreation of the scene

is straight from the original shooting script)

but as for too gory for the audiences

of that time--then shit--Cooper--fuck you--

you fucking poodle trying to be

a Great Dane--I don't care if it was

'your movie'--there would be

no King Kong

without Willis O'Brien...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

as if a reason mattered--

you cannot talk to one who will not hear

but just wait until that one

needs to be heard--

the hard test will be

not to savor the moment

too happily--one's only

getting what's coming to one

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

how subtle of God

to end the world

by means

of idiots--

God is usually

ham-fisted about

purges and

societal destruction

so here we are

waiting for

astroid strikes

or planet x

or hamid's

nuclear suitcase

or whatever f/x

spectacle--

and here's God

deciding

to off us

by infesting

the world

with a generation

of multitasking

idiots who cannot

think--who are

too stupid

to hold a

coherent thought--

God--how

utterly cruel

of you--

I think

I'd rather

have the catastrophes

than put up

with these assholes--

I don't care

what karma

they're here

to work out--

damn them

for wasting

life after life--

too stupid to ever learn--

too stupid

to do

anything but

die...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

nothing I need

will be received

unless I dispense

with all thoughts of need

then I will know

comprehending or not

that all that I need

I've already got--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

it will be what it turns out to be--

all your effort plays a part

but that single strand in the fabric

is so entwined which other's lives

you would need a shining forehead

to unravel them--pick out the especial thread

that holds your life--

but why would you want to?

if it's all One

then how would you know which One?

be content to know your part--

it holds the fullness of life in itself

just as all the others do--

it doesn't matter which one--

when you're wise enough to be a weaver

then you'll know for yourself--

then your hand will give its evidence

with all the others--

and the raiment will be complete...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

are you happy?

are you scared?

you should be both

every morning when you awake--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

it

is

all

I

need

at

the

moment

to

be

at

calmness

if

not

complete

peace

if

I

am

to

accomplish

whatever

my

purpose

in

this

sad

beauty

we

call

the

world

is--

impose

no

closures--

the

job

will

finish

itself--

it

will

tell

you

when

it

is

done--

meantime

love

what

you

do

and

who

you

are...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

never

wanted

anything

more

than

love--

but

oh

the

price

and

oh

what

a

shoddy

selection--

I

am

grateful

the

right

one

for

me

found

me--

and

ever

caring

than

I

am

so

for

her...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I

do

not

worry

about

the

world

any

longer--

it

has

always

been

this

testing

ground

for

souls--

a

schoolroom

where

we

always

fail

because

we

cram

for

the

exam

and

learn

nothing

from

the

lessons--

for

sure

God

will

never

be

unemployed...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I'm not free

but then no one is--

we are not something special

we are not something extra

we're just fools enamored of ourselves

we parade in our little fifteen minute slice of fame

we lord it over those like us who want to be beyond

all criticism and correction--

and rto talk to you? Lord

what a fool's errand that ever turns out to be--

so don't say it was ever thus--

we never done such volume of vanity and mendacity

before in this sad world that is nothing more

than a butcher shop that draws and quarters us

and we think in our endless self-centeredness

that we are immune to life

that we are above all others

that we are God and God loves a good latte

or an indulgent moment on the porn website

jerking off over a fantasy image

of what we want our true mates to be on the inside--

that is why I do not want to be alive

when whatever cataclysm hits--

can you imagine the darkness

that will fall on our delusions?

can you begin to comprehend how utterly

our world will collapse in a heap--

and so many of us in our dying moments

unbelieving the ruins from which our distress

utters its cry--just how sad and how frightening

our trip into the Bardos will be--

leave behind the only bodies of which we are aware

and facing the dull neutral afterlife

that will demand we pony up our repentance

for all hose vain ignorant bodies have wrought

on the pliant fabric of the All?

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I am renewed

but not for long--

this perfection will pass

imperfect and wrong--

but I will atone for

the interlude

and for yet another instant

I will be renewed

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

oh all I fear flows away in a tear

all I need I concede

I have no problem with sharing my grief

it's my happiness I've a problem giving relief

I do not wish nor care to hurt anyone

but which of us will be standing when this is done?

but I've stopped the tears and the repentance too

just doing it right does as well as fleeing tears do

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.