Sunday, February 28, 2010

amazing to me

the endurance from misery

pain does strengthen one

adversity teaches agility and sharpness

of thought

as ancestors sat 'round their fire

so we sip merlot around the fireplace

each in our own ways and level of achievement

hearty laughter 'round the tears

after the ordeal

(even if the laugh is how we dare compare

ourselves to the ancestors who suffered worse privations

so we can post pictures of ourselves dancing 'round

the rim of the volcano on our Facebook pages

LOL indeed)


oh, well, one more lap around the track...

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

57 years

(13 more 'til my three-score and ten achieved)

all these stumbling years

to get it right just in time

to let it go--

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Monday, February 22, 2010

I think kindly of those who've gone before me

envying them the completion of their time--

may they rest in memory until

the very last mind remembering them is forgotten

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
I had nothing to give

the facts squared it but the heart didn't

so I gave anyway

and now the heart knows

I had nothing to give

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
I've awaited apocalypse my whole life--

and now here it is--

merely the end of an age--

but oh--oh--God will clean house

before anything new sets in--

and as we find out--no matter

what our beliefs--

He is merciless about it--hold tight--

hold tight in vain--
so now it's a government take-over of the health industry, eh?

will somebody please kill some Republicans in HUGE numbers
before they kill all of us...and rummage through our pockets afterward?

and you stupid 'decent' Christian folk..
what the hell is WRONG with you assholes?

you keep siding with the very people who're screwing the very life
out of you! you better watch yourselves! John Stack was one of you

and if you don't watch out--more like him will be the death of you--
and you'll deserve it you ignorant pig-fucking crackers

you stinking religious maniacs...existing by the very grace of the God
you think loves you and hates all others--here's how the world ends--

by imbeciles imbeciles IMBECILES IMBECILES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

your living extends beyond your life

take care with all you meet

many branches sprout outward

but you have the responsibility of the root

as does who branches into you

a life extending from their living

we all drinking the rain

we all striving for the sun

we all living past life

Take care with all we are

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
gave it all my strength

couldn't budge the damn thing

gave my exhaustion then

to adjusting the tale each time told

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
the vertigo
of follow-up

who passed on
who still lives

the present

into which
we've grown

into that from
which we grew

and see nothing
strange nothing

different within
the wasting frame

in the weariness
of passing through

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
I did not think
the end would come
as a ravening
among lethal bipeds
(though a ravening
Christian might tell me
Scripture says it all
and offer me
redemption or death)

I thought it would be more
stunned eyes
and slack jaws
examining and lamenting
the cracking sky
as it falls on mankind's

and all addressing their
ideas of a God
in tones of personal
grief seeking surcease
and shocked witless
knowing that process
is well at hand

so much for what I thought
I've found myself
no longer pondering this
at a remove
but in the thick of it
among the rhumy eyes
looking at each other
for an contrition uttered
in the last conscious knowing of thought

at last I've found thee


Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
now it doesn't matter whether one stops or goes on

one can do whatever one wants
and rejoice that it comes to nothing
or mourn that it comes to something

all that matters is that one knows it doesn't matter

then one can twist into a pretzel of agony
for failing to shine on the earth or lay calm
content in knowing the darkness blazes like a sun

somewhere somewhere where it does all matter

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
every day is Ash Wednesday

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
please excuse me

my underwear is pinching my nuts

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
3 in the morning here in new york

I cannot sleep

I cannot wake

I sit here banging this out

and even my control has abandoned me


3 in the morning can only be experienced in silence

(barring of course the quiet tapping on this keyboard

and how soon that will be totally gone)

3 in the morning is the only time to contemplate

the end of life as we know it


Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
what I gave my life for

is no longer in fashion

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I just had to ruin it

I just had to write this down

just when I was getting quiet

just when I was past the crisis

and you don't care for what and the way I write

and you don't care for this eye view

but I can't say anything to anybody

but you can't understand why I care

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
I thought long and hard about writing you up

privileged snot daughter
of a senator--no patch on your truly nasty older sister
(high-powered scumbag lawyer giving it up
for motherhood and cakebaking)

but still with a smug sense of superiority
leaking out through the false smile
you would expect a politician's daughter to learn--

never could stand that in you
so I gave up the idea of writing you up

and chose in my lonely blogdom to examine
one last time my projection of envy
on someone I never knew before and will never know again

(at least in this life) long whatsyourname...
thank you you were nothing after all

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
now that democracy is dead
and politics is replaced by business

we can truly say freedom is a hoax
a dog-and-pony show to keep the employees quiet

guess who I mean
and win no prize

bad liver or no boy could I use
a stiff one now and for the rest of this sojourn

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
no way
no way in
no way in or
no way in or out
out or in the way
or in the way
in the way
the way

so I
so I settle
so I settle for
so I settle for this
this way not that
this way not
this way

is all
is all there
is all there is
is all there is now
now is all there
now is all
now is

is now and
that is

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Friday, February 12, 2010

yes oh yes there'll be less to think less to say
there'll even be less to do

and less to-do about anything--
linear thought will vanish

sound will roll different off the tongue
and nothing you see will

be what you'll be--oh I am not sad
to miss those days when dreams escape the skull

and a new official lie will condition people to believe
they have transcended--peace to all the past--

(the foundation the future wrecks itself on--)
my own reckoning bloody and marvelous by wide turns--

but then--there'll be less and less and less to be
and my lids closing out this world--unveiling another--will be fine with me

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

a last vision before returning
to my ordinary mind
cursing its routine fate--

in which the routine fate
is so unique that the ordinary mind is transformed
and universal comprehension complete--

the understanding fading as the vision
fades from the ever ordinary mind

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
being strongest
was meant
to endure the worst horrors
in creation--

the sweet pain
no vow or ritual
can dissolve
infusing the soul

like a drug in the bloodstream--
the shot that (one hopes)
has neutralized
the toxins of our

worldly affairs--
the cure for all ills
even as it is sometimes
the cure that kills...

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
I thought long and hard about forgiving you--

but your lifetime's mate wastes away daily
all the ferocity you displayed in your lives

ebbs out slowly in illness and age
as a lifetime of sins breaks you to your soul

devoted to serving this once vital shell
with a love that kills slowly because it IS love--

and forgiveness has finally found its way in this

all of us diminished--all of us done--
all of us waiting for the release...

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

because your will is weak
you need guilt

otherwise even an earthquake
couldn't move you

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito

Monday, February 8, 2010

though you love

so willfully

so carelessly


oh you know it deeply--

the one that is

best for you--

that's the one

you spurn--

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
as always

joy and misery muted by plain sight--

to see clearly

is to cure insanity--or drive one into it--

the vicarity is ambivalent

who mad and who sane and which is which

as always

the problem of one who doubts the veracity

of one's experience--

yet taken for granted--unrealized to itself--

the awareness that suffuses all this process--

the consciousness that has yet

to be itself--

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.






















Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

a last quarter moon
hanging low over the rooftops
earlier this cold morning

closed the way I had been on
and opened a way I have yet to travel--
do I do it? do I go?

the coming new moon
will find me right where I am--

continuing on--all ways--

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

you were happy until
you became aware of yourself


it is necessary to leave once you've done your work--
your work was all that afforded you a place to be


the man who hopes never learns


what is proof?
the careless exposition
of the unreliable narrator?


the transcended have nothing to say about it--
all description being false


rocks are 14 billion years old--
man's folly eternal


all you had you still have--
if you don't mind not touching it


Why am I writing this? or anything?
a genuine call muffled by a thick will?

psychology replaced religion replaced golden ages
replaced dark ages replaced religion replaced the psychology
of religion replaced the hegemony of golden ages replaced the
dark ages replaced the psychology replaced religion replaced...........


there're as many fools as patterns of living--
don't be proud--you outsmarted no one--


small time for grief--
let eyes dry in the high winds blowing
from your unknown destination...


what way forward will be my own traveling--

"...wake up early and go walking...
why don't you come to?"

what way ends is our .......


the world knows nothing
the world cares for nothing

the world is doomed and I'll rejoice
when it passes

because that is when
that is when that is when

life will truly begin
and the world will know nothing of it

Content c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

I cannot imagine a world

being consumed in all worlds

I cannot even imagine the bond

holding all creation together

so imagine the peak in my awareness

when I realized I am one point of view

in 'the Eye that sees us all'--

I'll never shit again...

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
this is where I rose again
after being struck down
by a misguided will

I know better
I feel better
I will put the balls of my feet

to the heads of my foes
and crush them (metaphorically speaking
of course)

as I step up and over
into a new misapprehension
happy until I am no longer

strong enough to lift myself
out of the trivial and the dense consciousness

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
if I had a notion I'd share it...
even if halving the burden
only amounts to two piles of shit
and refusal to put another word in

other than I should've known damn it
to keep my mouth shut--
if I've no idea what I'm saying
the sharer would have no incentive to share

and I couldn't blame them for a wish to slam it
with a disinterested 'what?'--

not to...uh..uh

bleary morning window
fake radio facts of manufactured news
blotting out
what was it?......

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
a minute later
the judge entered
the room

all fell silent
dare I say
all eyes bugged?

the judge red
as a beet ya know
began to intone

and as quickly
did his mouth foam
and he flustered

as if he'd burst
and so he did
insides charred as well-done steak

and he fell forward
delivering himself of
a one sharp volley of fart

collapsed in joy
was K's great great great grandchild

whatta reprieve

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
around the
pails and
the nails
to crucify
with a
drunken swing
of his hammer
his stammer
god damn her

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

this twilight sky is violet blue
red clouds with curling grasping fingers hover and
clutch at the disappearing day

and the rambling sorrows beneath the air
are soft and dim and fading like a child's pain

no one is to blame
nothing to conceal or disclose

generation replaces generation with no novelty
no distinctive trait distinguishing it from the previous crew

and yet each new sojourner recalls nothing of the past
seeing this current time and space as if it were new
as if it were the only only which it is but not as they think

this will be ripe for recovery by someone under some
smoky twilight some time after I've gone forth

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

for those who wish for a miracle
I bid them far distance and fair rest--

if you cannot actually do--
then how can anything actively be?

don't sit too long to think on it--
I assure you from my own perspective--

just work to make the miracle--start with
doing away with the wish for a miracle--

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
James Joyce came out of his hole and saw his shadow--

meaning 15 more weeks

until Bloomsday

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.