Monday, November 29, 2010

taking time out

for mercy

even though

the clock

keeps running

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
hope is

beating a

dead heart

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

If I had wisdom

I'd keep silent

so this blog

and its autistic terror

affirms my idiothood--

and you have

no clue how good it feels

to be one with my fellow fellows

yapping away like mad

to what end I'll leave

the wise to figure out

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
how easily I play the fool

call it a gift

I play it as easily as

one breathes

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
I still can't believe two readers posted comments on this blog--

(one praising my work in stating how moved one was by it and posted links

"in support" of the work--and the other a playwright who was "familiar with

[my] work for years" and wanted to use one or two pieces in a project--)

and I didn't find out until a year later (just recently in face--stumbling on

the comments tab and checking it out because I slog through writing

this stuff and never imagine anyone reading or caring about it)--

how idiotic of me--but then my karma seems

to require that I be done down in life--

to miss opportunities or to seize opportunities and have them

come to nothing --

and then people I know think I'm being 'negative' or 'pessimistic'

or whatever kind of bullshit--let them wind up over their entire lives

constantly 'a day late and a dollar short' and then let them come back

and talk to me about 'positive thinking' and whatever other nonsense

they think will allow them to evade God's last word on everything--

and to my two readers--erstwhile or not--I'm sorry for any

unintentional rudeness in failing to respond--I only knew of your comments too late--

and isn't that typical after all--

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
I wish I could convince you I mean what I say

But there's a bat in your family tree

And that is enough to undo all effort and defeat me

For even if you weren't deaf you wouldn't understand me anyway

So how could I say what I mean and mean it

Who but a fool could spew truth and in his yammer--demean it

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Friday, November 26, 2010

So clear's so impossibly clear I could kick myself for hesitating to confront the knowledge or for wondering whether my instincts were correct...but now I'm I'm sure I don't I'm sure I don't know anything except the blindness of my vanity...the remorse of my clear now...don a spiritual fake nose...brush off the dust...make a fresh start and beat a hasty retreat forward...

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Friday, November 19, 2010

my shames and wastes and losses mean nothing now--

I have endured a gauntlet tossed carelessly lifetimes ago

to land here and now in this time and place--

and now it has been despatched will all the will

of a sleepy child drowsing upon awakening

as the last images of dream dissipate--

it has been lifted and thrown back--I disaffiliate--

I hold no truck with the insanity of humanity--

I've played the fool enough for my taste--

let karma have more devastating tricks played on me--

I'm broke and if the heavens wish to afflict me further

let them rifle my pockets for lint--

like many before me I regret waking up and figuring

some matters out so late in a lifetime--

lesson learned as time runs out to repent--

but there's more than this sojourn--

more than this skin--

exactly what remains to be--and when I get there

I may not recognize it--but all the foolishness that is a little

too much the content of my history--

it means nothing now--

this--right here right now--is the deal--

so deal--

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I gave so much thought to transcendence

that I remained earthbound and preternaturally mundane

if thou canst imagine such

I couldn't stand my ordinary mind nor endure my routine fate

yet every undeveloped notion

or ideas left in unrealized potential

freeze like gargoyles lining a hallway to a death chamber

such gloomy thoughts are mere afterthought

remnants of my past life when everything annoyed me

and I had no patience or love for anything

oh to look back now and see the childish pattern of belief

pressed into the moment like a branding iron into oxhide

and realize how foolish the pitiful yearning to disappear

into an idea of God looks to one grateful now he was

not spurned nor outcast for long when I find my destination

I'll let you know about it

provided I can stay long enough to dispatch the message

but I think with no thought on what can only be called

the Infinite and no longer am bound to anywhere

one laser intuition raising the meaning of thought

into active awareness comfortably earthbound for my term

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
all that remains in the ire of failure

is the muttering ghost of success

while the faithless snicker at its tatters

and easily ignore the phantasmagoria

we call angels and souls of earlier incarnations--

oh how the pride rankles now...

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milityo.
how easily I fumble--how surely I fall--

the message I've awaited for years

coming just when I go to the toilet--

the vocation poleaxed by the fate that assures my failure

a carcass picked clean by the wind--

the aspiration short-circuited as my effort to attain it

watches empty-handed as the opportunity is snatched away--

even if this collapse opens a way out and renews my will--

to easily fumble and to surely fall

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
I always regret not being a chosen one--

a blessing to buffoons while I struggle in my iron vest--

ah and there's the vanity mean and protective

that keeps me a prisoner outside my own shrine

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

almost two years hammering at this blog

and I've learned

the themes are always shifting

the point of view changing

and the start of a day rarely

resembles its end--

just as we are now what we weren't a second ago

and that second as far passed

as ancient Egypt or Rome--

almost two years and it still feels like now...

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
awareness has tied my tongue

I cannot believe my own rap

now I have to be a stranger to myself

though one who knows me better than I do...

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
for a------ who loved my poems

and for M-- who wished to reference some in a work--

forgive me I discovered your comments to this blog

over a year after you left them--

I never bother checking comments--almost never think to check--

because until yesterday I couldn't imagine anyone reading my stuff--

then I stumbled upon them and though filled with gratitude

that some had received these poems and a little shame

for my unintended rudeness toward you both

I now feel a little self-conscious as if I were babbling

in a closet and someone overheard me--

the need to express and the shame in expressing

but thank you nonetheless

for loving the words that come through me--

at least this endeavor--sometimes uncomfortable for me--

isn't in vain--

(p.s. to Mr. Lonely: I like your blog, also...)

oh, the many mouths of one voice...

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Everything here is closing down

Which could only mean

That somewhere else

Everything there is opening up

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
You'd be amazed how easily we all botch our intentions--

How could we not?

We proceed as if we knew what we were doing

And wind up in the heap of our own waste--

Swept away like the remaining shells left over

From previous creations--

We figured on everything except the inherent truths

Of other worlds and dimensions

And our own perceived lack of totality--

What hot wizards we be--lost the gold and lost the Gold

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
It almost doesn't matter what will come of anything

Whatever thing or event has had its day

And as more come they do will have their moment

And be gone--why is this basic truth such a terror to so many?

You know nothing but your moment--and it is all

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
I can only do what I'm allowed

What do I allow myself?

Notions of holiness on high?

Or the simplest compassion down here?

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
Now what do you want?

Haven't you learned anything?

To want is not to have

To gain is to lose

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
You thought I was gone

I thought so too

But the fates aren't finished

With me or with you

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.
I wait to cease from struggle

I struggle but cannot wait to cease

Cease struggle for I wait

Struggle I cease to wait

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

my concerns have exceeded the scope of this blog

I will return to it--

but as part of a larger


I'm glad to be nearing death

at least that a release back to higher truer Life--

to live in this world the way it is now

is like being fully truly REALLY dead

no afterlife no soul left--

every generation thinks its good times were the best--

that's a load--we had sex drugs and rock'n'roll--

trying beating that you imbeciles--

and for what comes next--well let's see what we weave for ourselves--

let's see what God will allow--

let's see nothing but the backsides of the brain-dead

as they wreck the earth we leave in sorrow

because it was a beautiful place and maybe one day

God will be big enough to admit the blunder

in giving free choice to people who only know

the slavery of their sad minds--

my concerns are elsewhere now

thank God the time draws nearer every second

and for you earth-bound with no understanding of anything--

go ahead and mock--as (somewhere) already given

I'll be happier to go

than you'll be to see me leave--

'sall right baby I'll catch you down the line...

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito

america has finally suicided itself

let's salute the nazis who've destroyed this country

in the name of power and greed and anger and stupidity

next time the markets collapse and the world winds up

worse than it is now

who will these psychos blame then?

this is one tired (and obviously ignored) blogger

signing off from what is the former United States of America (R.I.P.)

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

new world

new path

the shift will be hard

on everyone

I will talk of other things

in other ways now

as all of us find our places

or go off looking for them

I'll tell you what I see

and we'll go on from there

Content (c) 2008-2010 Philip Milito.