Wednesday, September 30, 2009

so nice outside the compound tonight--

the puffy clouds are dispersing
and the gibbous moon inching slowly
across the skies toward fullness

overhang the barren earth
with smoke still rising from craters
that were once the dwellings

of what were called men--
field hands emerge from the distance
under this saffron twilight

as they approach they remove their headgear--
smiles over a successful day of scavenging--
bits of the old world building the new--

and the world continues around the compound tonight...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
all I love I've always had--

but never so deep and never so true

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
now I can see why

one gets so weary

living so long

and only to accept

the unchangeable conditions

we are broken upon

the urge to repent in itself

a snare and delusion if not done right

so in that weariness

comes the acceptance after a time

of every delusion falling before

the irreducible facts

now no excuse suffices

it's the cold reality or it's nothing real

and it's all I have and all I am

and it's all I have and all I am

and it's all I have and all I am

and it's all I have and all I am

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

his clock had no hands

but I thought I'd ask anyway--

"what ti...?"

"any time you want it to be"

how predictable--

even the Delphic Oracle

has to throw out the occasional

punchline to see if he's being listened to--

then he asked me

"which way to the world?"

and so I said

"I don't kn0w--

I just came from there--

I have no compass..."

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
the ground beneath me

started to give way

and I found myself

sliding down an incline

at accelerated decline

and my eyes

saw the former vistas

I had traversed

gleaming like a late

sunlit afternoon

on the brickface

of apartment houses--

that evening glow of

elongated gold--

how sweetly memory

renders the torturous

journey of that ignorant

progress to this moment

of unspecified half-forgotten

grief and of full blazing recall

of joyousness so ecstatic

its only trace is enough

to color the whole life

in a weary satisfaction

strong enough to balm

the butt-burning slide

into the shadowed forests


the very earth reclaiming

the bodies it lent to us

as we leave the peak of this life's

occurance--the unrepeatable times

preserved in other realms

ready to receive us on

our arrival on the forest floor--

but in no rush--

no rush at all

I've my whole life to get there--

and a whole life to come--

the closing of the earth

an opening of the sky

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

oh what I will do
and how I will do it

will be shown
in the moment

of taking action--
when what is at hand

will give up its inertia
and mould the physical interference

into practical application--
hands-on in a world of amputees

because the power of Mind
handled it--

you'd have to grow a new mind
like a starfish grows a new limb

and how much so
is what I'll know when I take

action and see for myself
what I'll do and how I'll do it...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
the goddess in every museum Madonna

or pornographic pin-up lurks--

ever the call of the divine

from sensuous hot heaving flesh

the lover who seeks the completion

the fulfillment of the merge--

oh poor goddess--

you are poor done by

in this ravenous world

of men who eat only skin

and of sapphic sisters who worship

themselves rather than you in them--

I have given up finding in myself

the mildness such sadness instills

when old enough

no fire warms and no come hither

brings anything forth--

our times are something we don't quite get

when we are involved in their passing--

and we go with them to exquisite essence

the form of which is our limited aspiration

is the deluded apprehension of our familiar bodies--

oh the astonishment when these forms cease

and we confront yet again

in our cycling lives

the goddess

unhidden at last

manifest as ever

the appearances of ego

done and done and


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
all in the moment

where act is it's own thing done

and our awareness provides the continuity

that is our happening

our being

our wherefore and why

all the rest is fiction

a made up imposition

by the misunderstanding of the frightened

cut them slack

forgiveness is easy

being forgiven is hard

and in the crucible of the instant

and our act

is where we are purged

of our misapprehensions

and the matter be

irreducible fact

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Monday, September 28, 2009

dread of lunacy ebbing from mind

as the moon rises and nothing happens

but its rising

dread of dull rationality also recedes

(I'd rather fart in bathwater than chair

an official meeting)

imbeciles roll up their sleeves and start pillaging

like werewolves--I needn't say why--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
long evening of knives

the black shadows of the ceiling corner

the starlight shining on the glitters in the stone

the dark horizon distinguished from a darker sky

the guttering candle

swift breeze of the changing season

a night in 15th century England

a night in 23rd century Sudan

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
it spills out of me like sugar from a torn sack

this horseshit I call my art

I cannot believe I wrecked my life

chasing someone else's idea of eternity

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
God damn it!

no reason--


God damn it!

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
so close now to the time we've long awaited--

the turning of the age--

the revelation at last--

and very few ready to receive this apocalypse--

and fewer who don't know anything about ready

but ready nonetheless in complete ignorance

of the yawning reality

stretching up ahead--

the sky opening inside the skull

the vista vast beyond seeing

another dada experiment

nearly a century after it was fresh

but in eternity--its own actuality--

and it lets us in--

it pours into the skull

and encloses us--

this apocalypse actual at last--

centuries of prophecy coming to term--

no longer legend but eternal fact--

not some tale in the shaman's vocabulary--

but beyond it--beyond it--

the actual that engenders the distortion

that is our eyes blunt by veils--

now they fall--

now they reveal--

the revelation at last

the turning of the age

the time we've long awaited

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled activity

you're probably tired of my poisonously vatic mode
but so am I

besides I must serve--God demands that I serve--
but when I try

to serve I'm prevented from then damned for not serving--
my intent is good but that doesn't matter--

and perhaps I shouldn't have bothered writing
since karma demanded a redress of wrongs

that precluded words from being my means
of service--or did I just evade my purpose

with heavy-duty self-mythologizing?--
with all the harm irreparably done

I'll leave for a bit--or for good--drop a line or not--
I don't know--I just going off to find

what the hell it is God wants me to do...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

curse Cooper for cutting
the spider pit scene--

I don't care if it was 'his' movie--
he destroyed O'Brien's best animation

(at least O'Brien thought so)
because he was too lazy

to edit it in a better fashion--
if he felt it ruined the flow of the film--

(which might be the case
if Jackson's recreation of the scene

is straight from the original shooting script)
but as for too gory for the audiences

of that time--then shit--Cooper--fuck you--
you fucking poodle trying to be

a Great Dane--I don't care if it was
'your movie'--there would be

no King Kong
without Willis O'Brien...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

as if a reason mattered--

you cannot talk to one who will not hear

but just wait until that one

needs to be heard--

the hard test will be

not to savor the moment

too happily--one's only

getting what's coming to one

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

how subtle of God
to end the world
by means
of idiots--

God is usually
ham-fisted about
purges and
societal destruction

so here we are
waiting for
astroid strikes
or planet x

or hamid's
nuclear suitcase
or whatever f/x

and here's God
to off us
by infesting

the world
with a generation
of multitasking
idiots who cannot

think--who are
too stupid
to hold a
coherent thought--

utterly cruel
of you--
I think

I'd rather
have the catastrophes
than put up
with these assholes--

I don't care
what karma
they're here
to work out--

damn them
for wasting
life after life--
too stupid to ever learn--

too stupid
to do
anything but

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
nothing I need

will be received

unless I dispense

with all thoughts of need

then I will know

comprehending or not

that all that I need

I've already got--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
it will be what it turns out to be--

all your effort plays a part

but that single strand in the fabric

is so entwined which other's lives

you would need a shining forehead

to unravel them--pick out the especial thread

that holds your life--

but why would you want to?

if it's all One

then how would you know which One?

be content to know your part--

it holds the fullness of life in itself

just as all the others do--

it doesn't matter which one--

when you're wise enough to be a weaver

then you'll know for yourself--

then your hand will give its evidence

with all the others--

and the raiment will be complete...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
are you happy?

are you scared?

you should be both

every morning when you awake--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.


























































Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.



































Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.











































Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I'm not free

but then no one is--

we are not something special

we are not something extra

we're just fools enamored of ourselves

we parade in our little fifteen minute slice of fame

we lord it over those like us who want to be beyond

all criticism and correction--

and rto talk to you? Lord

what a fool's errand that ever turns out to be--

so don't say it was ever thus--

we never done such volume of vanity and mendacity

before in this sad world that is nothing more

than a butcher shop that draws and quarters us

and we think in our endless self-centeredness

that we are immune to life

that we are above all others

that we are God and God loves a good latte

or an indulgent moment on the porn website

jerking off over a fantasy image

of what we want our true mates to be on the inside--

that is why I do not want to be alive

when whatever cataclysm hits--

can you imagine the darkness

that will fall on our delusions?

can you begin to comprehend how utterly

our world will collapse in a heap--

and so many of us in our dying moments

unbelieving the ruins from which our distress

utters its cry--just how sad and how frightening

our trip into the Bardos will be--

leave behind the only bodies of which we are aware

and facing the dull neutral afterlife

that will demand we pony up our repentance

for all hose vain ignorant bodies have wrought

on the pliant fabric of the All?

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I am renewed

but not for long--

this perfection will pass

imperfect and wrong--

but I will atone for

the interlude

and for yet another instant

I will be renewed

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
oh all I fear flows away in a tear
all I need I concede
I have no problem with sharing my grief
it's my happiness I've a problem giving relief
I do not wish nor care to hurt anyone
but which of us will be standing when this is done?
but I've stopped the tears and the repentance too
just doing it right does as well as fleeing tears do

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
once again I shake my head
clear the voices and the rages from my head
and prepared yet again to beg forgiveness for my head
and all the raving foolishness sadness provokes in me

another meltdown another outrage another self-hating
purge taking the form of blasphemy
and all I can do is tie myself to my karma and call it
a religion while God sits silently over me in sorrow

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
God Almighty! WHAT are YOU THINKING?

Isn't being the ONLY POWER enough?

Do you have to ACT SO HUMAN about THIS?



This is what drives your creatures MAD and makes Creation a MADHOUSE--

You SHIT on us and call it LOVE then expect US

To confess--to expiate and ATONE on Yom Kippur...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
sins by the gross

forgiveness measly as a penny

an imbalance of worth

no wonder people go to the bad

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

paying for another life's sins
with broken pride and denied success--

with nothing mattering
because nothing is allowed fruition--

with enemies who hate me on sight
and loved ones who love me but not quite enough--

I finally know why under the rage
simmers a bemused shrug signaling 'figures'

and turn away wearily from the comedy
of my desires--ever hoping where there is none--

at least the violet twilights--the pale olive mists--
the early or late sunlight slanting across the waters

onto the rock-face of ageless cliffs--and the young sweeties
who made my ten-year-old heart pound with fear

and yearning before we all learned how doomed we really are--
the reason itself for our flowing blood in these

ridiculous bodies designed for the sojourn's trial--
whatever desires and delusions of desire made life seem alive--

oh sitting watching yet another vivid sunset--(how many
before the last one of this life?)--I am grateful that oh

at least these things cannot be taken away from me...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
the hand that grabbed the rope
did not count on the greasiness of the strands--
and blamed the wind and misty drizzle
for his desperate lunge for the line

a dissipating comfort as he fell...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

sunlight falls on the earth's changing face

I saw what passed away

I see what is in front of me

I soon will know only a guess

that what will be already is

to the single unmoving Eye

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

actively doing

centers the soul


the body

living and realizing

the thought

the idea

the manifestation

here at hand

actual form

force in process

render in act

in doing




and that's what you


Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
echoes of voice

and movement--

winds in the sky

of regret

large gray slab

over the ochre horizon

though the day itself

is hot and dissolving

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
voices clamoring
rude and vicious

these speakers
either don't know

themselves or worse
they do

they must not have a
sense of mortality

to be so easily
willing to kill

and what is that
stunned look

when at last the bullet
hits and they fall

as blackness overtakes
them and that one

blazing horror going
to dark and to what after

well isn't that some of
what the contention

was about
isn't that a mercy

to not know here
whether the dark is ever all

or is there something
beyond it that cradles

the whole of being
and not-being

I have nothing to add
to this debacle

the cacophony of
yammering pride

that drives insane the
overly-sensitive proud

in their own way
against the more blatant

the more physically inclined
who wreck creation

and call it good
no there's no more to

contribute from this end
each human drama

dwindles to its conclusion
like bonfires on a dark hill

going out one by one
as the night silences the day

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Friday, September 18, 2009

ordinary citizen
walking down the street
on a bright autumneque morning--

no school to get to--
no pressing business for the moment--
just the moment I've always lived in--

ordinary citizen
and his long shadow across the sidewalk

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
nothing to agonize over--

the world is still raging
but I disengage...

I attempt a return
to the spirit that led me into this

and not stall perpetually--hoping the purpose will pass--
it will not pass until--fading agony-- I act

and compose myself for the calm beyond...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
people become what they most love...

be very careful

men tend to think with their cocks
and women their cunts

and angels to weep to weep to weep

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

who will I be next?

who I am

but with a different disguise

a new form for the same identity

see you all then...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I'm being removed slowly from sight...

and no one on earth will remember the sound of my voice

nor know of these writings--

just another thing God takes back to Himself

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I'm as ready as I'll ever be
to see the denouncement of this time on the earth--

my fate--the lives of all I've loved--
the lives I've spurned because of their shabby treachery--

all of us going down with our excuses firm in mind
learning in the pure blazing moment of its worth

to endure the purging and survive it clean--
I'm as ready as I'll ever be--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
my enemies have gotten away with everything short of murder

but I assume God is just saving them for a worse fate--

not on my behalf--I'm just one end part of their mischief--

but because everyone pays--and their price will be sweet could I know of it

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
days slip away--

let them--they always have--

no matter what the place

the time is always NOW

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I'm locked into my own demise

but will be unchained to my great surprise

boy will I kick myself looking back on this life

to see how wide I missed what I knew to be right

at least death is only a transition

a comfort for one in my position

whose pride led him to the precipice

to be humbled and broken in acceptance of this

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
between jobs of work

I pause--the world would be so wonderful

without people--

as the Universe would be so transcendent

without a god of fury--

but no miracle feeds me--so the pause passes

and I get busy--back to work

else I'll have the devil to pay--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
without a hope

I become hopeful

in the face of doom

I see victory--

am I enlightened?

or am I deluded?

without a clue

I'll find the evidence--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I cannot rest--

I cannot enjoy life--

I'd like to cut my creative urges out of me

because they oblige me to deal with the very things

that are killing all of us--

and my urge prompts me to engage

when I know engagement is useless--

let the pigs trample on everything--

I cannot love them--

and the One will punish me for that--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
under sentence of death

in full longing for release

I draw my fated breath

and feel my aching cease

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

one never knows where or when
as Scripture has given

some so feared death they'd forgotten
about living

join me easily
the moment is calm

peace grows increasingly
soothes as a balm

forget the worry
over what you don't know

there's no real hurry
to be where you must go

we'll be the night itself as it goes
for where or when one never knows

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

having lived too long
I'll miss nothing when I go
but the love I leave behind

whose tears will build
the watery bridge that she'll cross
when she meets me here

if that is the One allows us to do
if that is how strong our love is true

Contents (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
compulsively clutching the wheel
staring bug-eyed
at the enlarging ground

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I followed my hat
as it blew up the hill...

and your point?

it blew up the hill
so I had to follow my hat

still don't quite get ya...

I blew my hat
up as I followed the hill


it blew up my hat
as I followed the hill

I hate to be the one to tell you
this whimsey doesn't play anymore
but I'm telling you
this whimsey doesn't play anymore

I blew up your hat
as I kicked you down the hill...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the world is insane
but polite about it--

saying "we're sorry for the inconvenience"
while surgically opening your throat

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
trying to fit
watermelons into thimbles

the faith of a fool

as if one could change the nature of reality
to suit a whim

as if one were a god who excuses
the illusions of flesh
by inhabiting it so completely
the conscious mortal mind thinks it is Mind

fool the only thing I have faith in

is that soon you'll finally be broken
of your vanity

sit back with us
and for Christ's sake

have some watermelon

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I wish people would stop telling me
to keep the dream alive--

I'm too busy to dream--
active in my vision

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
I made the mistake of thinking
I wasn't being heard--

but I was--
now I know what it is to be dismissed

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Monday, September 14, 2009

did I tell you?

I nearly heard the horn last night--
the car missed by inches as it sped
with the addled driver
gritting teeth as he clutched the wheel--

I boarded the bus when it came minutes later
and a few blocks down looked out the window

to see Speedy Hotass pulled aside--
his face red in the spinning cherrytop
as he looked up at the cop--broad as a billboard--

would the world always work so perfectly...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito

religion creates sin--

free the One--
burn down the churches and temples and mosques
that diminish God's Word--
flee from or kill outright every mouth-frothing maniac
who uses God as his weapon--the biggest blasphemy--

lay waste to the world--let God free
from the chains we try to put on Him in--

which is really to say--
unchain yourself--as Grace uncreates religion--

free the One by freeing yourself

do you still need to be told--
and not understand?

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I gave no heed
to other's oppression--

(that's to say--theirs
on mine)

I thought I could waltz
through it as if it were air

but unable to move
I heed my oppression--

hard lesson vanity's won--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
vivid as hallucination--

the crib--the bird mobile--
the slats on the sides--

was that THIS life?

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
am I brave
or merely a fool?

some abandon must be
a part of the risk-taking--

or are the brave thus
if they are prepared

or fools if they are not--and
which accepts the verdict gracefully?

I couldn't say--
my hands are empty

from foolishly trying to hold bravery
but my heart continues full

bravely accepting what it is
to play the fool--

Contents (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
a strange between-the-dimensions day...

my flesh raging at the simple daily hell
we make of the earth--

while my spirit calmly pities
me and our worlds--

one clawing a release
while one knows it is released--

in several places--all HERE--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
in the void

is born the thought

in the thought

is the act formed

in the act formed

is the pledge made

in the pledge made

is the destiny set

in the destiny set

is the choice made

in the choice made

is the wisdom gained

in the wisdom gained

is oneness with the void

Content 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
It was given me to die away
at the turning of the age--

there is so much I can rage against--and why?

no one will hear--no one will want to hear--

they're determined to die
clinging to their sad miserable lives
and dragging as many people down with them
as they can--

and all this by God's decree--

I can't make too much of this--
I've always felt I lived in the stone kingdom--

but now--even the stupidiest among see it
and cannot believe--

well--so be it--I'm close enough to death
not to give a damn--

when the world as we know it finally falls--

you'll probably find me in a topless bar--
in a back room getting jerked off (or if I'm fortunate enough
to get blown outright) by some hot little Columbian

and how appropriate that will be--since these bars are the closest
I've ever come to heaven on earth--

and fuck you in advance for your judgment on me--
I'd rather be with these beauties
than suffering the anguish of right-wing
pig-fucking crackers and their jesus of hate

or the smug self-righteous hypocrisy
of the left who boast about how socially progressive they are
while looking the other way as poor families
are driven into the street
so they can have their mc co-ops
and turn the streets into playgrounds
for their spoiled snot-nosed little bastards--

let God forgive them--they all can rot in hell--

and if God wants to send me there for not being holy and forgiving enough--

I'd rather rot in hell then serve this God of vanity and hate
who looks the other way--

this God of sloth and mendacity who does everything
but lays the blame on us--

maybe I can be wiser and stronger--
but for now--the game is played--and I say

fuck everything!

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

ask and ye shall receive

I didn't ask but oh what I got--

the universe shifted around my every move

and all I'd had was suddenly not--

but I wasn't about trying to prove--

hapless before merciless onslaught

that the One was set only to deceive--

that all was not as I originally thought--

I'll know better to toss proud reserve

and ask to be up to taking what I deserve--

and should I fail at that typical task--

shrug and say I don't know I asked

for a cow and they sent me a pig--

and whistle deep and small as the sky is broad and big

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I've exhausted my grief at last--

the numbness is sweet--
the colors of the sunset are more vivid--
the 'thing-ness' of this world's objects
correct idiot notions of miracle and salvation--

all expectations gone and in their place
the earth as it is--the sky as always the void
holding us to our remembrance
of infinity--and people as they always are--

others I caused myself grief over--
because I thought they had what I lacked--
because I thought I needed it--
because I forgot the shimmering eternity of the moment because

I had yet to be exhausted...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.
perfect day--

crystal blue sky and golden sunshine
beggaring vision and cliche

(oh--the hell with the accent mark)
I choose my own expression

and am part of this landscape
no one understands--

and thus the unbridgable worlds
perfection has hindered us from accessing

here--right now--wandering amid
each other--perfect day or no

perfect day--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.