sometimes being in the earth enrages me...
the realization that God will be of no help
and His vengeance will punish even our stumbling attempts
at atonement because nothing we'll ever do is good enough
never lifting a finger to aid us but ever ready to punish...
to gouge every whit of the price and to damn us if we dare
tell this truth and protest...like all gangsters he loves Power
even though He is the only Power there is...
and there is no care for our hurts and wounds...
just obey in the flaming farce of free choice
and even then suffer (do you think Elijah was spared
for feeding Jezabel to the dogs? she returned as Salome
and he as John the Baptist...head dancing on her plate...)
no one is spared...no one seems to be forgiven...
but you suck in the hurt and you trudge on
and it's not even your business
whether or not you're forgiven
so if God can't even pardon us for awakening to the truth
as He designed it what hell will he unleash on us
for not finding it? why shouldn't I or anyone rage
when they find out this is what it means to suffer
in the earth?
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