surely every turn of the corner tells you so
every child will grow old watching their children grow old
until we all go in the way we came out
*
the sky has changed
the earth a pale travesty of its supreme glory
I've lived long enough to see
leaves falling in my dreams
from trees that no longer reach for the sky
everything has changed
except what sees through my eyes
*
hectored right to the end
I endure her bewilderment her frustration
her resentment her disdain
we sought bonds in some forever promise
though we knew better the fragility of desires
we failed each other
we saved each other
our worn love is frayed but holding
what but death will finally break us?
what small dyings have begun that process?
*
Saturn has ruled my life
more deeply than I thought
every last failure
every last qualified success
has instructed me on the delusions
of faith and left that ringed turd
lodged up my ass like a proctologist's finger
*
I don't understand what I once knew by heart
what changed my heart?
what changed my mind?
*
all that I could tell you is suspect
where I see dark clouds
you'd see the sun glimmering behind them
all that you could tell me is needs proof
and there is no proof in truth
there is no truth in proof
each reality is another dimension
and our loves and aspirations
unknowable breaches of black holes
*
I got nervous when I looked into the Void
and the Void looked back winking
is this what Nietzsche saw?
*
a permanent knot in the stomach
*
the past is an instant ago
and now has just gone past
*
you would love to hear me recite apologies continuously
your reality insists on it
demands it
I would love to be elsewhere
my reality demands quiet and if it gets that quiet and peace
it does so at the heavy price of bearing your contempt
*
to end up like this
a lifetime of suffering endured
only to have it all rise up to smother me
a last time
and it still wasn't enough to placate
the Judge
*
were that death a true release
but it is only a transition to other griefs of quest
life after life until it goes forth no more
the soul has its work cut out for it
*
let each face his ultimate demons
sufficient onto the life he is in
as long as life is
is as long as it takes great age to turn
and be young once more
to be as children once more
*
my love we've harmed ourselves
to the same degree we've healed each other
no greater love than sacrifice
to lay down one's life
in the face of all illusion to save to preserve
the ways we've helped each other
how this fact rankles
how sore and heart-breaking this truth
to know through whatever sorrows and joys
the ways we've helped each other
*
we don't know
we've ceased to care
it's about time
I was beginning to think
this bird around my neck
would awaken and fly off
with me in tow
*
you like to hear the words 'I love you'
I do also
but words mean nothing and that's why they're dying
we learn hard to live in that love
because it is hard
*
so we go
under the bare branches
under the cold wind
as if no one in flesh could see us
all we've loved preserved in consciousness
and a part of our identity now
and as whatever vistas blurs as the last unexpected sight
in the life that had such hope and expectation
only to be cursed by what reckoning would hock
even when some positive development occurred
it's no matter now
the sight blurs to gray
then blackens
and there we are
all our scenes
asleep in another skin
* * * *
Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
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