well...you've been waiting for a New Age to commence...


well...here it is in all its destructive glory

and you who thought you'd have a ringside seat safe


watching while everyone you hated buys it big time

find yourself tossed from your seat


and thrown into the chaos of clean-sweep

ridding the world of all that came before


for that desired fresh start...how inconvenient...

and how many of you there are...


welcome to the end of the old and the beginning of the new

and no foregone conclusion who'll be up or down


or in or out...humility comes hard...so does self-forgiveness...

and worse of all...acceptance...you were not on anyone's right hand


you are just a part of what had to go...for the new to come...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

if you think things are bad now

just wait...


the maniacs who want to rule the world

trample everything underfoot


on the idea that if we just cease all this

'out-of-control' 'progress'


everything will go back to some kind of 'normal'...

and this is how the human race will destroy itself


with greed with selfishness with stupidity

with total ignorance of its own evil


because it need a cartoon idea of God to come down

and lay waste to all their enemies...


and they will perish also...unaware of their own evil

their own suicide of spirit where perdition will be as soft


as falling asleep...forever...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

is there something else I wish to say?


no...not really...

we all know the score


and who really listens to another person

except to find weak links to attack


and score glory points for their miserable pride?

no...there's nothing I wish to say


and if I babble henceforth...it has as much meaning

as the self-importance of humankind


who expects praise every time they have

a successful bowel movement


and a doggy treat every time they kill...

and why say anything? this is how it is


generation after generation of yowlers to no avail...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

yes I'm aware hurling fire and brimstone

is an assault from one who cannot process...

who cannot love...who cannot live...

so this turning from the human communion of suffering


that unites us in our common ineffable pains...

I'm not strong enough to bless or forgive these ones

I failed in my own effort to understand and transcend

but minus the brimstone...fire does renew


take that for what's it's worth to you







Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you think all you want...


your objective is a pebble in a quarry

your aspirations a child's shovel and pail


think all you want

but the field is more vast than you think


and nothing but crapping out

under a blistering sun


will blank out your thinking...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. all rights reserved.

pride has fallen with a smash


but people are so shattered by their lives

they won't know they jig's are up


type-A can-do jackasses

thinking if they push a little harder


they'll get what they're after...

all they're after is a quick death of deaths


but pride is smashed...and they don't know...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. all rights reserved.

cacophonies of ignorance and pride


this is the concourse of humankind

the debates of being

the conversation

(how polite we cut-throats are)


I tune this shit out


I strive forward whether any good I manage

matters or not...to this lifetime...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I do not give a damn

whether you agree with my words or not


the Void is vast

and swallows us all


and it's no one else's business

what we do or think


on our way to what resolution

that calls us forward in this only moment...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I won't be unhappy

to leave this life...


whatever the actuality

of my being


whatever graces save

or sins need expiation


anything's better this sojourn

an empty promise of deliverance


is still a promise

and a delusion...then so what?


life itself is a cold vicious fraud

and all we do is serve our own pride


when we open our pitiful mouths

to speak against it as if we'd figured something out...


life's short enough...

let these windbags deceive others...all we do piles up


on our shoulders...and if there's any promise

that is not some fine fakery it is the one


we make to ourselves to be stronger wiser and braver

to carry it when next we walk the earth...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

what wreckage we'll pull

ourselves out from under

will just reveal another road

another hole in the wall

through which we'll fall

rollin' and tumblin'

like the old song


with all you had gone

and more added to the increasing load

and more shakin' and more stumblin'

and no more awe or wonder

and this is the desolation of which we'll be full


it is with this crushing soul-breaking end

that the fault will be ours if we don't rise again...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

poor little soul

raving in his pain


consequence delivering him

to his well-earned defeat


he sobs in the dust

his hurt all that's left alive


he's had his shot

he's done his time...


God's forgiveness another matter entirely...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

so what if I have to start all over again...


it's too late for this life

and for every bastard who breezes through life


doing their damage and getting a pass

while the rest of us suffer unmercifully


I'll rage and tear them at every opportunity


I will NOT submit to this society's blade

against my throat


I will NOT forgive my enemy until I am forgiven

and for the Ineffable One who works through us


and thus abdicates all responsibility for everything

who overloads us with blame because no amends are good enough


I say...to hell with it...I'll live and do what I must

and God...God I will deal with later...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Phiulip Milito. All rights reserved.

good morning shit-fuckers


here's another beautiful day in hell


the polite one where one has no conscience

about turning one's back on another


as long as one's not inconvenienced

from the adventure of one's prime time of life...


one will hang from one's nuts eventually

but oh the damage done in the meanwhile...


fine...let them run a bill...

let them wind up in the hole...


it's not half of what they deserve but so what?...


every person who ever walked the earth

is in hell...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights rerserved.

another dog-and-pony show

for those who cannot wait


to avail themselves

of someone's spilled blood


as long as they don't have to pay

(these worshippers of materialism)


I have a better idea...

go to your self-constructed hells


it's about time me and mine

enjoyed the sight


of our enemies roasting

on their own spits


and I don't care what the worst Divine offender

has to say about that....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE DERELICT'S SONG

heavy slabs of gray cloud

predict a harsh snowy winter around here

and my only shoes are worn to holes

and my pants legs are shredded at the cuffs

old age spreads like a cataract over some vision

and every day grows closer to milky pearl light

oh I never thought it would come down this way

I never thought the street itself would be my bed

nor did I think that those who once knew me 

would turn away pretending they didn't...

heavy slabs of gray cloud imitate a stone vault's lid

and the burning torches of this crypt would be

the glowing figures of onlookers tsk tsk-ing

before wandering away to their own dooms...

Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE MYSTERIES OF TREATMENT

love must be tough

or it won't endure


heal no wound

affect no cure


and yet our binds

could make us smother


I don't know how

we endure each other






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

MUCH TO SAY

you'd have so much meaningful to say

if only you'd shut your mouth and leave it that way








Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WORSHIPPERS

pompous eminences

speculate on their betters


over-praise or under-value

in an effort to kill their fathers


take the academic who disregards the facts

of his subject's life so it would fit


a theory of his own projection

or the critic who bares a hatchet


for no better reason than

self-elevation and applause...


this is how they buff their glory

pitiful and small as their yearnings


and make straw gods out of the leavings

of their most trivial enemies





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHERE WE'RE MEANT TO GO

where I end up

is where I was meant to go


I may not be keen on it

but nothing I've done

in the name of self-empowerment

seemed to do the trick


stop listening to fools my friends

no one knows anything

and the only one you have to trust

is yourself


stop up your ears

don't read another line of this

do what you must so you'll end up

where you were meant to go...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

my heart won't give in


nothing we do matters

but we do it anyway


it keeps us going

while we're here


and until we reach

some end


our hearts won't give in






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

someone's reading this morning's posts as I write them...


welcome my friend

we're in this together


no matter how far apart we may be

we have nothing that no one else has


these words are for who will receive them

and after that..who knows what will become of them?


may your reading of them keep them alive...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

are you happy to die now?


no...not particularly...the struggle continues

after this life and the escape of paradise


is a transcendence few of us have achieved

but this wretchedness is the condition here


and will always be so...it is on each of us

to find our way out...and it will be a quite before


any could say they'd be happy to live now...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I do not renounce my previous post...


the utter meanness of humans

makes me wonder why Jesus bothered...


these are but the tiniest fraction of examples

of how pride is the greatest sin...(yes and I include


my response of bitterness to these and all

of the daily assholes who take all the joy out of living in the earth


such as can be had here...I also struggle against the One's impossible strictures)





Content (c)( 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I've written of my father

a higher octave Scorpio


but sadly my life has contained run-ins

with the lower octave...the lizards...


the vengeful unforgiving snarks...


one was a trainee media maven and actress

moonlighting as a topless dancer


who wanted to do a staged reading of

The Moon Hidden By Clouds


she made a lot of noise then disappeared

and a year later I called her for status


(she was previously soooo responsive)

she had her husband read me a riot act


no call back meaning no dice and I said fuck her

and that was that...


another lizard was a cracker from Georgia

who filmed me for some YouTube story he had planned


with a promise of excerpts to use as a reel...

nothing ever worked and suddenly any parts in progress


he'd shown me were not usable..truth was

he did a gastric by-pass years ago...no strict diets for this Kingfish...


and it was a bad experience that's left him wrecked and drug-addled ever since

I've have pity at least if he wasn't such a lying piece of shit


never happy unless he were a guru surrounded by pretty young thangs...

oh I could go on but why? he's paying full price for his pride


and his treachery...and yet another one...an actor in regional theatre

he's never had much to say to me...but when I treat of copyright issues online


he goes out of his way to call me out on things...a mutual friend

tried to set up a meeting so I could ask him about webpage matters


and when the time came he made himself as uncommunicative as possible...

jealous and insecure the fat fuck sitting like sacks of manure


on a groaning plastic patio seat...let him stay in his regional theatre

he's not equipped for better...these are the assholes I've had to endure


these helping hands with joy buzzers in them...I may forgive them

but I won't forget...and my next test will be to not rejoice


when these lizards take their falls...the bastards...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ESM 1919-1990

my dad was rare


a Scorpio

an eagle rising above his transformations


dark quiet and mysterious

but magnetic to the ladies


and solid to his men friends

dependable as a sunrise


when my mother died

the memory remains


of that powerful light dimmed

to a slow darkness which shrouded him


for the rest of his days

though he was what he always was to his family


keeping his word in his mouth

and speaking only when his patience wore thin


in the empty daily suffering that supposedly ennoble

as if this pain were a teaching from some cosmic maniac


who demanded the puffery of adoration...

as if this love were not enough...never good enough...


dad wherever you are now I hope you and Mom

will put in the good word for me if it matters at all to God...


I've stumbled my whole life without counsel

but memory of you both framed a doomed childhood


that finally delivered to the wreck and ruin that was mine

to endure in this life...I followed you slowly and now the pace quickens...


I'll be with you before you know it...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

TOO MUCH THINKING

when the stiff-necked and selfish

hardened by their faux spirituality

get their comeuppance


does anyone come to their rescue?

or do they sink into the shit of their karma

without one realization


that they might have been wrong?

am I equally culpable for pointing this out?





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SELF RELIANCE INDEED! II

once at a b &b in Alberg Vermont

I experienced perhaps the all-time best

breakfast with some of the more companionable folk

it was ever my good fortune with whom to break bread...


the breakfast lasted until almost 11:30 am

before the the owner's wife kind of laid down the law

to her superbly sociable husband

that the day was (emphatically) "getting on...."


one story from one of the guests stuck with me...

"I've been in Vermont before...one time I got stuck

in mud season...my car was fender deep in mud...

as I wondered what to do someone came past me on the road


"stuck in the mud, eh?" the guest said "yes I seem to be..." expecting

an offer of help...the local just said "well have a good day"

and sauntered off down the road"

self reliance indeed!


our breakfast group was one of those happy life memories

to resonate forever after...but we'd been to vermont before as well

and we couldn't disagree when our guest capped his story

by saying "you have no friend in Vermont..."





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SELF RELIANCE INDEED!

all these proponents of 'self reliance'

from mountain man psychos

to Yankee snark Emerson himself


self-servingly forget

a basic truth...


charity...


yes we're responsible for our own souls


but yes...if we're to love God totally

and our neighbor as ourselves


our first duty is to help others...


how conveniently this is ignored

but it won't be


when a final reckoning finally arise...

rely on yourself to get out of that one?




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

friends I confess I'm defeated in my own mind

and when it gets to that point


you might as well jack in your ego

and take your place


in the unending chain of humanity

of bloodlines and historical facts


and realize your job was not to add

another link on the chain


but could do little else...it would take all of us

in supernatural unison to do that


best only to detach and let those whose eyes have yet

to lose their scales come around to sight at last...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

oh you think you're better than us


yeah...like that's a stretch...


listen fool...we're all under the gun

no one's better or worse


nothing is better or best

we all suffer under the Law


and you're not making things any easier

by playing the fool to no one's satisfaction but your own...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm being smothered by morons...

help me help me

I can't breathe...


oh...


it's supposed to be this way?

well lay me out and left me

under a barroom table...


I'll go willing...if only to be done with it...







Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

rationalists look at the universe

the quasars the black holes

the impossible dynamics of process


and think it is 'proof' of no God...

the simpletons!...

is it so hard to realize that these processes


are the very manifestation

of the One whose existence they deny?







Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

a living death is one where

your purpose is spent

and you're useless to anyone


and yet the One won't call you

out of your skin

because He's not done with you...


that's a living death...

waiting for every last whit of suffering to be reaped...







Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

why should I be disturbed by ghosts?

they're living beings who've lost their way

stuck around the scenes of their worst earthly scenes


why should I fear them when every day

I deal with ghosts still walking around

in their living skins?






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

small the courage

against the large cycles of life

that tear us

by the One's decree


so hard to sing hosannas

to the One

bringing a sandaled heel

down on the neck


but if there truly is a purpose

to this deadening horror

then small courage might

be just enough


to avoid the fates of the Psychotically Supreme

who'll find out otherwise in their falls...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I swear I won't tell a soul

of how you fought and how you fell


your personal agony would never

translate to anything others could comprehend


your enemy so much like you

equally recondite equally committed


and each with the afterthought

of where the fight was worth it or not


it hardly matters

since all sides are equally false


and each one's commitment is equally true

we do what we must and find out later


our place in the turning

and I won't be the one to betray your ordeal...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

PEACEFUL SLAUGHTER

deaf ears

on those who would hear...


everyone a king or queen

in their own minds


and even when perdition takes them

they'll understand nothing


yet another example

of the One's grace...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

paradise

isn't in your mind


it is realized

right here in the world


through suffering

and love and compassion


...just ask fools like me

who thought


they could by-pass

the binds of the Plan


with a fake transcendence

we'll tell you plain...


paradise is all around you

if you'd but let it be...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I've made the world safe for Masons

I've attacked the lames in their positions

I've done all I can to enlighten and inspire

but I'm faulted and failed like many another


vanity is the leading killer

of conscience and good cheer

next time you hear someone preaching at you

beat him unconscious or invite him to have a beer


either will do

all we can do is add to our woes

but that's how it goes

we mean so serious to do right and make amends


but it will never be enough granted our sad

silly simple mortal state...





Content (c) 20082-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm hatchin' them off today


one thought leads to another

one word lead to the next...


and who will learn

and who will care


these words will be all that's left

when I'm no longer here


so here I am hatchin' 'em off hatchin' 'em off etc. etc.






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. all rights reserved.

whatta boob!

whatta maroon!


you spin ass backward

like you farted on the moon


God has no mercy

God's not your friend


unless you give up your crazy ideas

and follow the program past the end...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE DIVINE CASINO RUNS THE GAME

I made my confession

but I don't feel clean


I went outside the bounds

and don't know what I mean


to say to those who follow

like "Don't come this way!!!"


but they will and I have

because it's the only way





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

A LIFETIME TO LEARN WHAT A JERK I'VE BEEN

I won't be missed when I go...


oh those who love me will cry

and be bereft on behalf


of some love I could not

feel myself


how could they love me

when I couldn't love myself?


they more than others saw and knew

I was sick


in delusion in anger in pride and in hurt

for all the little sadnesses I couldn't endure


I'm sorry I apologize to you all...

I had no idea anything was wrong with me


maybe I will be missed...but not by me...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. all rights reserved.

A PLAQUE IN SOME HEAVEN

...and I'll bet you thought

Rimbaud was bad


renouncing his poetry

to run guns and slaves


catching mere syphilis

then returning home


(always back to the mother he loathed)

to have his sister nurse him


to his deathbed confession

as if that last minute conversion


could wipe his karma clean...

ah we have done less mischief


and made ourselves suffer more

but then we all are the stuff of our own legends





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

all of us are on the same path

no matter what we think


and the destination's the same

and if we don't get there


it's because we didn't lose our delusional

senses of self...we continued to insist on our own ways


and that doesn't cut it with Reality

which holds us to the only path






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the darkness is beyond any imagining


this is the wormhole through the heavens

to the Source


and the only way through

that won't destroy you


is to forget the identity you bore

in this life to return


to who you are beyond any imagining...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I will not defend or accuse anyone


who knows the mind of another?

if you can't even make sense of yourself

why meddle in the lives of others?


you think it's a way to fill a void?

we may be One altogether in essence

but each of us is his own creation


and we've yet learn how 'me' can be 'we'





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

all that has changed

is the slant of your thinking

your take on the unchangeable

processes of creation


your mind is the variant

that's a bump in the sway of stars

and that is the change

unchangeable through creation






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

eyes unsealed

I see nothing before me

this is good


this is fine

another clean start

as my feet


carry me beyond

anything I could know...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

LITTLE PEEPS

tiresome all the hocking

the preening

the pronouncements


blubbery jowls blithering

"Let's debate"

as if an exchange of knowledge were afoot


it makes me wonder why

I go on with this...just

another county heard from


in a province beyond

understanding where clashing chaos

releases dooms and regeneration


bright as supernovas

beggaring our little peeps on this speck...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

TURN AWAY IF YOU'D GET WHERE YOU'D GO

I turned away from the blinding sun

and only then did I see the Light


only from the corner of an eye

did I gain my full sight


and this is how we...each and every one...

will not go blind or mad


as our other selves slipped by

we saw what we wanted we already had...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

MUST YE CONSTANTLY BE REMINDED?

guesses at the weather

as meaningful as expounded metaphysics


eyes skyward

for onrushing light-years of "The Facts"


blind to the one central

"fact" of their lives


as long as we wear these skins

we are mere specks here





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ANOTHER PERK OF AGE

temptations have their work cut out for them

as far as I'm concerned


all the things that would dangle before me

trying to draw me in indiscretion or worse


now has no power but to show its foolishness

and I can nod wisely and dismiss them


that draw me before with no protection fro me

but a snide awareness too weak to resist...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

don't know what you're waiting for...


there'll never be a better time

to succeed or fail


and in either case

it will get you to another place


where again you can bust a move

or break down in some idea of inevitability


so what are we waiting for?


if life is constant change

then breaking even puts you ahead


at the very least...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philiop Milito. All rights reserved.

you think you've got it rough?


look next to you...

the person you thought was your salvation

is sinking in his own sea of shit


well what did you expect?

this is what you get

when you trust in anyone but yourself


to get you where you need to go...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

softer than sorrow


the peace of passing

the gathering of the grain


the harvest at last

bringing full the pattern of living...


and if there's sorrow in summer's passing

from it will come the peace of the darkness


softer and sweeter than brighter days





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

PERSONAL WEATHER REPORT

autumn heat welling up...


in organic time we're already at Fall

and the recent chilly days

were a tonic for the likes of me...


real 'going-back-to-school' weather


I was never a fan of summer...

the heat ghastly and the humidity

a living death


but this is more like it...


the low leaning afternoon sun

casting long shadows across the streets

irradiating the russet-turning leaves


and now the autumn heat wells up


and at last the last of the summer fades from the year...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE DAILY 'WHAT-THE-HELL'

the world astonishes me every single day


I'm recovering my sense of humor

if only for preservation's sake


all the tragedies

all the comedy


Syria murders it's own people with gas

Putin tries bare-chested to revive the Cold War


(Jesus...reactionaries everywhere

thinking that they can stop time


and countermand God's own unstoppable processes)

more maniacs going off murdering every sad fool


unlucky enough to just be there

and as if that weren't enough


a clown terrorizes a town in the U.K.


if it weren't so tragic

it would be funny


but sadly I feel with my brain

and think with my heart





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you're a darling baby

so young and so hot


turning heads and loving it

in your animal youth


I remember your mother

doing the same


and even then I was a sober-sides

who saw the joke and mocked too wide


now that I know in my deepening age

we're all in hell here in the earth


I feel no different than I did in my prime

sad and sorry for the way we must be


but hot young babies reminding me

the life goes on and so does the game...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm giving you something

you probably don't need


gibbous moon

and give us heed


I have too many

mouths to feed


and a friend in need

is a pest indeed,,,


this is the way

the world likes framing it


suffer in  life more

when you start blaming it


for every mistake you ever made

you have no problem making amends


but while punishment's plenty

grace expended is niggardly to no end


so I'm giving you something

you're probably loathe to possess


waning moon

and whining uselessness


moonset is soon

and the day's torment will make you confess





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

sometimes

trying to worship God


is like watching

a beautiful woman


take a dump...

it is such


a letdown

regarding expectations...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

MY FINISH

I gave up my legend in order to live

let it lie forgotten in my history


for detachment from my life I would give

anything up to and including my mystery


but nothing's forgotten or fully atoned

you must live to face that loathsome decree


and when I have suffered repented and been boned

that's when my finish will be left to me





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

REALIZATION COME TOO LATE

before anything else goes wrong

I'd like to apology to all for my song


a constant howl of regret and pain

ignoring all the good I could claim


self-centered bitter child

how could happiness make you so wild?


do you feel defeated and crushed and undone

and ignorant that you're not the only one?


say what you will as you mean what you say

you're a hair off the mark and will stay that way

as long as you cannot see for yourself


that the truths you utter are lies to all else

each has his vision and knows his own song

and will go on singing it right or wrong...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

a desert springs up

where the last edifice of empire fell...


how comfortable we are in the earth

seeing the same thing over and over





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

RUN WITH PATIENCE THE DIVINE HORSERACE

I won't do better than

this acceptance of my limits


I'm sorry the race is run

and all I've managed is 'show'


but these are the bets

that keep one going


how often I've won a little

then a fresh bet turned a profit...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE LEAVES AND THE LAKE

we scramble lost

to our own intentions


but I am here

where I want to be


an eternal twilight

on a tree-crested lake


and all the bullshit

of God's world


slipping by and fading

like the illusions they are


how I love those mere seconds

when I am absent


and I am the twilight

the leaves and the lake...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

FOREVER

either we live eternal

or die in perdition


either we thrive

or sink in our condition


now more than youth proclaimed

it's now or never


but can someone please

define 'forever'





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT WHILE THE SOUL SCREAMS 'OH SHIT!'

oh good Lord what do I do?

I try to repent and that's foul too


nothing we do is good enough

our sins are soft and Your vengeance rough


amendment comes tried and true

in accepting the bullshit flying at you


but I'm not strong enough for at that

justice lays me out and crushes me flat


right now I have no great desire

to start again redemption entire


You're going to have to mess me up some

and lay it on me for what pains will come


the block is blow and the ax above

I now know how hard and tough God's love...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

FLOWERS FOR THE INEFFABLE

waiting for the next level of consciousness

(and knowing I don't make the grade)


I have plenty of time to ruminate

plenty of time to regret


but no time to squander

on these bitter memories


the next level will blossom

when these past levels are shawn


there it goes and here I come

if even to repeat the form


I have my rake and work like mad

even with the Gardener gone


I hoe and plant and begin again

and again and again and again





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

IN DREAMS GOD SAYS THINGS WE CAN'T UNDERSTAND

me and my minimal shadow

at high noon in hell


a fire directly overhead

and fiery sand under foot


and a ghost Seka saunters up

and with blazing lips performs on me


and I awaken in the cool rainy morning

saying "What the hell was that about?"






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserevd.

EMANCIPATION MASTURBATION

you've spent a lifetime

shoveling other people's shit


let the dung pile up

remind them of their place


it's not your business

to wipe them clean


service isn't slavery

and if it is break free






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHAT CAN YOU STAND TO LOSE?

don't be a pawn

in your own game


run the board

control the game


and if you're mated

try again


make the others moan

that they just can't win





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

IN PRAISE TO THE GODDESS

Miley Cyrus

Lady Gaga

Beyonce  

and Rai-Rai too


and granny Madonna

(sad old lioness)

they can't hold a candle

to 'Boop-Boop-De-Boop'


the eternal sweet girl

hotter than hell

sugar daddy Grampsy's

sweet hot moll


these other pretenders ain't nothing to me

Betty Boop forever... yow and how!!!!!!





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

AUTONOMY

the human condition

(much like God's perfection)


leaves so much

to be desired


that if we're brave

and wise and strong


we'll do without the clamoring claims

and stake our own on our merits...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

YES I KNOW THE DATE...

many find it better (or more expedient)

to cling to a hurt


than heal under fire...


while we mourn one generation's marker

of an historical tragedy


the Fates are simply weaving from the past

the future patterns we will repeat


because we weren't brave enough

to venture forth in the shock of our loss


to break the chain of bigoted genealogies

and free ourselves from ancient hates


that won't be resolved until the end of all things

divide the wheat from the dross


and the permanent from the temporary...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

good news is where you find it

like any accident of place and time


if you're fortunate enough

to land a sweet spot


don't leave it

since another may either be long


in coming or never come again

and whose luck is foolproof?





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

NO WAY TO OUTWIT THE WORLD

bless or curse

praise or jeer


it'll get worse

before your end draws near





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philiup Milito. All rights reserved.

STAY AWAKE ONE HOUR WITH ME

because memory defines identity

it is hard to live in the continuum of our living


without sometimes falling from a heightened awareness

into a sad sweet nostalgia for what is no more


but because identity is defined by memory

it isn't so hard to shake off the backward glance


and continue forward to some future knowing

what is past is still present in us...the content of our beings




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

'FEEL-GOOD' NO MORE

hatred of God

hatred of each other

hatred of ourselves


this is the shake-out

of eons of earthly life

our true natures


hidden from us

by an envelope

of raging flesh


and as this turn

of the cosmic wheels

flushes the stale evils


from us

don't be deceived

that we are elevated


foreheads shining

in a void of everlasting

calm enlightenment


the cardinal sins

and their karmic baggage

will alas prevail


just on a more intense

level of realization

and will make our need


to transcend

even harder than it was

before this woeful awakening


earth was never the be-all and end-all

we just pass through this bloody field

more befuddled than before


and yet closer than ever to whatever edge of abandonment...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

IF LIFE IS A JOKE, THEN LIKE BUDDHA, LAUGH

...and so we learn it

vicious and hard


nothing we do

does any good


it's compromised

by our own humanness


and but for insane

divine imperatives


what would be wrong with that?

he picks his nose he ties his shoes


oh my goodness he's hellbound

what idiocy what depressing rot


the Crown of Creation lop-sided

on a nodding head...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

COLD TURKEY

I need breathing space


the strictures of the One

are too tight

too unyielding


and we are punished for being

merely human

as if our struggles against our wrongs

were not enough to placate a savage Ineffable...


and they are not...


I smother in the snares of perfection

we all do


and if grace is only obtained

by true repentance then what is it

but 'cease and desist'?


and to do that I need breathing space


the vague damning breathing space...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

your genuine concern catches you out...


you spend your life dispensing

information on a 'need-to-know' basis


to loved ones daily strangers

everyone


but the moment you lower your guard

and admit something or do the right thing


by others...that's when some long forgotten sin

rises up to bite your ass


and does it teach to be always open

and hamstring yourself on restrictive binds


of someone's idea of righteousness...or does it teach you

to keep your mouth shut at all times?


what chance to learn when the learning prevents all will to learn?





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

daily ordinary life

makes many wish

to scales the heights

and touch the ceiling of their heavens


well good luck

the best most of us manage

is a tent and who wouldn't

want to be a trapeze artist


the air sliding around

your agility like clouds parting

around a streaking fuselage...

a daily ordinary dream so preferable


to being a clown

in your own circus...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

TAKES ALL KIND...BUT WHERE?

self-absorbed in your own imaginary agonies


you are a bringer of light and laughter

to those who are truly suffering


(for the most part...we won't here treat of

the implacably anger


but as terrible as they could become

with the least provocation


that too sheds a light I hope you're not blind to...)





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

well again a wasted day

waiting for a dunce of a delivery man


we've all been there

and how many wonder


how they could be begging for work

their qualities and experience dismissed


outright while this and other dimwits

are working...?





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito.

we all wish to be exalted


thus the little tyrannies

that are the engines


of our sociability...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I cannot leave well enough alone...


I always go a step too far with something

or someone


in the need to be affirmed

in the need to be remembered


but in the shabbiness of the recall

even the quality of the affirmation


is somewhat dubious...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

EACH FAILED QUEST

humankind does its best

to hurry hard to build its nest

and stock it high and stock it fine

and individually say it's all mine


when cooperation fails

whose freedom of action prevails?

when all that busy endeavor sinks

who cares what someone else thinks?


how noble and how right we feel

when we can justify what we manage to steal

and how easily we bless those who challenged us

when they failed to keep us from killing the rest


this is what humankind does best...

fakes piety to justify its inhumanity with each failed quest




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE SOURCE OF LAUGHTER

what simplicity of mind


(men thought was source for

laughter and entertainment of the gods)


there are no 'gods'

but there is simplicity of mind


just watch Man persuaded by demons

lift a hundred times his own weight


then snap out of the thought as he's crushed...







Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHAT BRIGHT NEW MORNING?

no dark night of the soul

matches the absolute pitch black

of the Outer Darkness


and no bright new morning

meets your revived eyes

nor Radiant Presence suffice the All


more like you wake up to creation

as it is only not distorted

by your pitiful imaginings


and the pain of all consciousness

fades to a weary acceptance

as you pick yourself up again


and realize you're no different

than you were yesterday or will be tomorrow....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

AN ENTIRE LIFE AS A 'DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL'

my remains are gathered


my accomplishments received

by who will receive them


and I like everyone else

will face judgment


without mercy

and make amends that amount


to nothing

because nothing


is perfect enough

to appease the gangster


who will say

no no not good enough


who'll beat you bloody

to extract His price


and leave you on the roadside

saying you're forgiven


get up and walk

and so we get real


and so we discover God is not

love or mercy or goodness or forgiveness


we discover God is pitiless merciless

unrelenting unforgiving vengeance


and that all liability for trying to do right

is on us and even that will be swept aside


as not perfect enough

and this is the deal this is the horror


to live you must obey God

but how? how do we obey


when God Himself crushes down

all attempts at atonement?


my how quiet the murmurs of suffering

there is no answer to anything


and oh how silent the open

empty overarching sky


over which our remains are gathered...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All right reserved.

I'm as lost

as you are


and yet

together


we've found

this place


let's rest

at peace


while

we can


before this

condition shifts


and again

we're lost together...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHOSE NIRVANA?

rage

is

love


depression

is

not


but

stillness

is


peace

the

lost


know

not

essence


and

so

cannot


distinguish

among

these


states...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHAT DOESN'T ADJUST WILL PERISH

I laugh at survivalists


after your supplies are exhausted

the world you're accustomed to


will still be destroyed

and all you've done


will be to prolong the inevitable...

a shivering new world where nothing you've known


will still be operative






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

been around so long


all praise sounds like horseshit

direct from the source


unless you're a farmer...disregard!






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserevd.

where but in our desires

do dreams revive the spirit?


love...abused and adored...

sets stocks on our tenderest moves


and held to this longing as we are

where but in love


do dreams inform the desires

they revive?






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

LONG THE AGES

long the ages have trailed behind us

and long they stretch ahead


and in this time we've come to share

all trails fuse instead


leading nowhere but

to where each of us are


a distance we think of as great

but never truly all that far


time pulls us on and we can only follow

on toward where we are led


with long ages trailing behind us

and long ages stretching ahead






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THESE GAMINS

dancing in shadows

of our own making

are the petty creations

of our misspent desires


we will glance these gamins

out the corners of our eyes

at the edges of our thoughts

the substance of our memories


and your enchantment

will fix you in the dying babble

of praising this available one

or that unattainable other


and all it will be is your last adoration

dancing in shadows cast beyond you...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

LIFE AS A ROUND OF SEVEN CARD STUD

rage overtakes me

completely unmakes me

I take to this keyboard

to grasp my sanity


all liability

left on every soul

in a creation that's nothing

but an ever stacked deck


I call you God

and raise you a hundred

you want me to suffer

I'll make it worth your while


I'll take the gamble to do as I please

and You can stand pat or fold...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip  Milito. All rights reserved.

oh how little

the hate and rage


effect anything

but harm on the bringer?







Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I will not offer you much


I've as little as you do

but in sharing


it multiplies...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

HEANEY (MAY HE REST) HAD THE BEST LAST WORDS

whose passport was green

and dug hard the sacred ground

of all our living

but with a pen instead of a plow


what better words could this master

of direct illumination of this world

with the most straight forward of music

gave as farewell but to text his wife

moments before he disappeared into the dark


telling her noli timere...


don't be afraid...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHAT CLEAVING?

second guessing all authority

comes naturally to one

who lives in reality...


the Official Lie

we all live by

crumbles around us


and the real ones suffer for it

but not as much as those who've

only known the lie...


oh soon enough

will shit and diamond be separated

but as an elder once pointed


it is all diamond...

and who'd know but one who lives in reality?




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

A ROSE FOR WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS

it's been a long long time

since I looked at Dr. Williams


back in my day

his mastery of common speech

was a great touchstone

for many of us young'uns coming up


but now that I've gotten old

I read him with renewed appreciation

of the insights unlocked by his tongue and his ear

now I understand him and see as experience

what once were ruminations on ever-approaching life


while the schoolmarms

fashioned a canon based on their prejudices

and their ambitions

and...being vasemakers all...

see finally up a vase for the good doctor


he supplied the rose to put in it


and all lifelong attempts at shattering vases...

trained by the doctor but pig-headedly breaking

rules on my own (the vanity of it...as I see it now

but am stuck with the life's worth of collateral damage)


well I smashed those vases to free and deliver the rose

even if it was to its own doom...


even this is contained in Imagination...

I hope I've done him and other not too great

a dishonor...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHAT LAW?

The wisest live

by the fifth amendment


even if invoking it

dooms them to speculation


the greatest minds strangle

at the clutches of half-wits


but if we are all One

then truly how varied the condition...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the predators

and their prey


one in a function

perpetual as the earth


but the truth is each

will eventually die


it just depends on what way

upon which they choose to live






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

LAST CRICKET

the last cricket of the season

chripping in the bushes


chripp chripp chripping

in full vigor at early nightfall


as if it were yet

the fullness of summer


he doesn't know he's finished


but that is his glory...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WALLFLOWER'S PREDICAMENT

he is lonesome


he wants company

and fears it


so wrenching himself

from the party


he makes his goodbyes...

the first to leave


but the last to go...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

Love is our only reason for living...


may I and any who need to hear this

be strong enough to finally understand and accept...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BIZARRE BAZAAR

no voice in your head but your own...


listen finally to that inner voice

and don't go for the standard goods

offered at each grubby bazaar

the greedy merchants like gargoyles

come off of church edifices

to tempt you beyond your good sense

and their own hunger and lust for nothingness...


there's nothing anyone can say to you

except don't go for it


are you mystified by snake charmers

and other peddlers of decaying goods?

do you think you'll be offered a key at a fair price?


I'll say it again...don't go for it





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you are meant to save yourself...


don't buy into the myths


there's no savior god who'll help you...

that's a fairy tale meant to keep you

chained to the fleeting earth


you judge yourself...you condemn yourself...


you have no savior but yourself...

don't squander yourself on perdition...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

your only enemy is one who is like you…




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you will not believe anything

until it destroys your world


and even then you might blame

all but you for not waking up to the danger


impenetrable pride

putting a wall of delusion so thick around


you will not believe anything

including the truth...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

KA-BOOM YOU BASTARDS

anything can happen

at any old time


so I sit in the eternal now

and wait and wait and wait


and wait no more because finally

something happens in its time


and all I can say is 'and how!'

at the churning turns of fate


speak in tongues and no one will get it

except in the mush-mouthed lingo

of their own trained minds


but the message is the same

anything can happen

and will in its time...



Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SHIVA DON'T YA KNOW?

I ran like hell before the blast

and hid deep in a cave


and when the world came to an end

I was with many a friend


the awakening Shiva

good wishes she did send


and when the world came to an end

I was with many a friend






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WASN'T THAT A TIME

we live in an absurd world


wherever righteousness and

personal responsibility

are jokes for would-be comedians

and celebrities of any imagined distinction


damnable like nobodies who think

some earthly fame is confers some distinction

on their common lives

and they find an audience among the rest of their tribe


equally vacuous and equally hunger

to be remembered (though the cycle will churn on

and they will be forgotten except among

fanatics who shared their brief time)


absurd? of course? common? without a doubt


but these sad ones are the bulk of humanity

those who want things without doing

who want to be blessed for being their own creations


and will be nothing but fads remembered

by the declining number of their tribe...

I personally am sorry I won't be around

to see their children mock them


themselves seeking their limited eternity

in the fisheye portrait of desperation

we call style and fame and "the way it was for us..."





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

how much do I know?

not nearly as much as I wish I did...


if I knew what I was ready about

I'd probably collapse into a state of shock


so until I'm granted release

from this flimsy earthbound knowledge


I'll cling to my illusions

even as they crumble away and I slowly know better...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

DEARY

so I used to worship

at the shrine of your bedroom

once when I was young


and you were older in mendacity...

black nylons over the bed post

the garter belts black and tight


the stays grazing the smooth fleshy hips...

at that age that's all I wanted and needed...


and now I know I am staring into the middle distance

on some soggy late summer evening

remembering for as fleeting second


the perfumed thighs and the white glowing flesh

around my ears as I listened for the grinding of the spheres...


and wonder now where you wound up

how you are or even if you are any longer

some reminder of a romantic boy's idea


of poetry and erotic mysticism...

a seemingly better idea than the slavery and slow death

of marriage and what the dwindling of days


have delivered unto us...

memories of our best selves that time and loss


have ground down to their places in mind...


and perhaps me barely remembered if at all

while the shrine of your bedroom outlasts

the hospital smells of age and withdrawal...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.