I fear I will die my father's death...


a hard struggling work-a-day life

followed by a long slow dying

where lucidity ebbed and diminished


and deep memory in all joy and rage

spilled out in trance-like laughter

or sudden snipes at long-gone enemies


or face turned to a wall

talking to loved ones in fragments

of some phantom dialogue...


the call one 5 am announcing his release

was by then more blessing than grief

for the whole family but I fear of all my father gave me


his way of dying may sadly be the legacy

that most manifests in my own passing...

the breaking connections of intent and action


the simplest assent or most complicated denial

hurtings practically prehistoric surging fresh

and staring too at some middle distance


at the signal of some long unheard song or thing said

I cannot know for sure being so busy with my own daily deaths

but whatever comes after...whatever the actuality is...


all deaths are one...all our deaths are one....






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