SNARES

it is foolish to depend on others

but when you have no other choice

it is particularly galling


this is our Oneness

this is our tie that binds

to make promises and give pledges


that hide our mendacity under the lie of

oh things just didn't come together

maybe it's true


and maybe our pledges are empty promises

covering our own ineptitude and insincerity

but when I make a promise I keep it


and when it doesn't pan out then ask

God about karma and our useless endeavors to amend...



Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

HUNTER OF NOTHINGNESS

I accept my liability

for things done in this world...


would intractable consequence

allow me to take the responsibility


of amending all that was wrong

and keep it right...


depending on what wrong's are right

and what right's are wrong...


to act in this world

is to be like a blind sharpshooter

aiming at a ceaselessly moving target


and no faith in God or physics

assured the path of the bullet

or the precision of the miss or hit...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BE STRAIGHT

you tell a tale and watch it grow

from mouth to ear

from mind to mind


that it was your own invention

is of no account now

it has a life of its own


and you cannot separate yourself from it

anymore than you can separate from your own shadow...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

REALIZATION

oh where is she?

how did I lose her in all this wreckage?


she's where she is

enduring her own ordeals


and I'm left with only

a fevered imagination


wondering what happened

to my dream...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

NO PROTECTION

oh I'm no longer bothered

by my lifetime of 'fatal' mistakes

in easy moments when the heavens

cease to rampage through our lives


but when the pressure's on

I'm as much a cursing sailor as anyone

I thought I was doing right

and find in suffering how wrong I was...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

how we love our little excuses...


our justifications for all we do

and our proud self-forgiveness


our easy letting ourselves off the hook...

and how we'll rage when our powers to charm


fail to insure the timing of receiving all we need

and a Truth beyond anything we can imagine


will sit like stone before our explanations...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

tell a rationalist you're cursed

and he'll say you're making excuses


tell a New Age nincompoop you're blocked

and he'll say you're doing it to yourself


they may be right as far as the mechanics

of such things go


but then their ignorance protects them

and they'll never understand how blessed they are


they have yet to face their own self-judgments

or lives where their ready-made answers


will block their every move

and they'll only wonder why is this happening to me?


no one lifetime provides any answers

and who knows what culmination will enlighten...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BROTHERHOOD

it was only his truth

that drove him to kill


while another's truth

is to examine his will


to discover what made him

act up but as yet


there is no answer

but hopeless regret




Content 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

IDENTITIES

name a god

and you name yourself




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

MUSIC

wandering in a misty night

I passed through a cleft

of glowing moonlight

into swirling music


I saw Charlie Patton on a cresting river

I saw Banjo Joe walkin' right in

I saw Blind Lemon out of a clean grave

I saw Lightnin' flash in a bottle


I heard hollers blow through Jaybird's reed

I heard the British King embarrassed again in Mrs. Jones's home

I heard the Eagle rock

I heard the Cuckoo warblin'


wandering in a misty night

I was music on the wing...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

DEPENDS ON HOW YOU SEE IT

lonely

lonely

all the time


but never so

lonely

that I


can't be at home

anywhere...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SUCH ADVICE

second-guessing at this point in time

is a futile exercise in what if... and if only...


an excuse to fray oneself or to have others

unload their envy or their resentments


every mistake in life is 'fatal'

there are no second chances


just the gatherings of consequence

to face the next thing careening down


the pike at you

and at this point in time


with grace a fairy tale and retribution assured

what would one do but face the constant incoming grief


to the end and know advice anyone could give you

is like medicine after the funeral...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WE LOVE EACH OTHER

we love each other

through sundry miseries

never getting it right

but somehow stumbling into

fresh opportunities for mischief...


all good intention

an empty excuse afterward

but oh what a blast

while the thing's happening...


other people don't understand

lacking knowledge of their own foolery

but for all the sadness of this world

how sour and dour without our fun and if

we didn't love each other...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHAT LESSON

over and over I've been denied

and nothing can undo it


this failure repeats

and this is some lesson


that needs learning

until the outcome is righted


wish I knew what this lesson was

as much as I wish grace would teach it...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

CHAGRINED

who am I to spout my ignorance?


I know at least as much

as you do and probably less


but I spurned my path

and find no way back to it


I'm ashamed at so much waste

but hell what does it matter over drinks


and a comforting gaze afterward

up to the inexorable tread of stars


on a sky that resembles

our field of earthly endeavor


a slow steady orderly march

with its own chaos to power


the engines of our desolation...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE WORLD AS SUCH

blocked

denied

over

and over


what is the lesson

that still needs

to be learned

that all suffering


will not answer

or atone for...

if every way

is a booby trap


then what trips the latch

what will punish with you're knowing why...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

KNOWLEDGE

if you live long enough

and stay awake


all questions

will be answered


then you'll find

your wondering affirmed


or denied...

and then only what is in


your capacity to know...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WELL WELL WELL

so now you admit

that I was right

and my bungling ways

were steps on some spiritual road


but I didn't set out

to amaze or amuse you

I stumbled for me and doing for me

would do for you too...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

JUST BECAUSE

just because

something is meant to be

doesn't mean that

it will happen...


our effort is the

secret ingredient

to make it all gel

and if our effort is cut-rate


then nothing will save us

from our personal hell...

just think of the wizards

who put more emphasis


on the gold than on the

masterful illumination...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. all rights reserved.

CHOICES

we must decide

what is what

between

temptations

and authentic promptings...


temptations can lead astray

and promptings show us the right way

but often temptations

lead us to where we should be

and promptings misplayed


can wreck our resolve and result

flip a coin or light a candle

we all must deal with more

than we can handle...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING

this has really

nothing to do with anything


but I swear sometimes

I feel as if every moment


of my life is telescoping

into the immediate instant


and the morning's midwinter

sunlight slanting onto buildings


releases other instants through which

I've lived as if all sunlight


all activity of every person

ambling along on their daily business


on all street scenes or country quiet

alive with multiple times all the same time...


am I conscious now of being completed?

have I really reached that end zone


or am I making too much of bittersweet nostalgia

in a lonely solitary moment?


does it matter since so much is beyond

knowing or control?


we live having nothing to do with anything

but something to do with everything...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

LOVE WILL YOU DENY ME

love will you deny me

after all the pain I've endured

leave me abandoned

to all the wrongs I've accrued


in searching for that salvation...

we've all made mistakes

searching for our loves

what heinous crimes we've perpetrated


crushing the hope of vanity

gambling on the call of chance

that will let us to our emotional jackpot

(such crass terms to express this but what


in this world isn't 'crass') love will you deny me

now that I've finally found you...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I NEED A STRONGER HEART

I need a stronger heart

and resilience I had from withdrawal

from a world I never could

understand or accept


but in a form that fortifies

the mild mastery of this beautiful earth

I need a stronger heart

that will come when this weak heart expires...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

YOU'RE IN MY HEART AGAIN

you're in my heart again...


life after life we've chased ourselves

in some lives happy and together


in others apart but yearning

and all the yawning whining of


'oh my hearts is yours'

only affirms the bond tested life after life


in the humiliations of our desires...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

NO ONE'S FINISHED

no one's finished


no one's done

until they're called out of their skin


and even then

the body's done but the soul


continues on

bearing the weight of whatever life


they thought they were done with...

and adding it on to the other lives


they've ruined in their quest

to be free of conditioned creation


which holds against all vain attempts

to impose a closure upon which


they cannot deliver until time is called...and who really knows when?





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SHUFFLING OFF STAGE

he stepped out from behind the curtains

thinking the audience had filed out

gone home or to the bar

for a relaxing round of drinks

after witnessing the snarky performance

of an artiste who passed off

his psychosis as deep Art

a meaningless addition to the ages


but when he came out he was spotted

and ignoramuses began applauding

giving the poor schmuck a standing O


he froze staring out at the hidden smudges of faces

then in disdain as deep for himself as for them

he turned flustered and shuffled off stage...done for...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

AIN'T THIS THE SHIT?

all the things the world

counts as meaningless

have enlivened and enlightened

my life here in earthly hell


the pre-dawn glow of the sky

the slanting sunlight on cliff edges

and warm salt-saturated morning beaches


the hot noon making shadows

of the all physical form

and the bright monochrome mornings


of winter and the bare branches etched

against the gray horizons

or the violet evenings of star-lit spring


the smiles of children and lovers

each in their moment

and each recalling yet other children and lovers


and the still egoless instants when all conditions

merge into one manifestation

of an eternal now sweet and sad as an acceptance...


the world as it is has no use

for these transcendent moments

and even those committed to the world as it is

experience these moments and the moment passes


and the experience is as forgotten as dream

I've made too many mistakes

to atone for now but I can know

these are what made life livable


(or at least bearable) but even that moment

passes and what comes next holds

all that came before


and it is we who take what we will of it

what there is of it that is ours


for me that means I make peace with all I've done

now that I'm in the end zone and settling my worldly business


going on to what is next...it being what it is

and I going on...ready or not...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

are you sad?


don't be...

this is business as usual

in this cold hard but beautiful earth


and if you have no stomach


for life as it is

then I suggest a corrective broken desolation

or a whole lot of drugs


the judgment of either will be stiff...


so be sad or happy...but don't ever wonder what it is...

there's a good... the only reason why it's on you...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ah free...but free to do what?

I'll find out


now that I'm free of a lifetime of delusions...



Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

as an 'attempted' poet

I followed in the line

of Bauderlaire Lautremont and Rimbaud...

les poetes maudits...

(with a healthy over-helping of

the religious surrealist Pierre Emmanuel

thrown in in over-heaps...)


now looking over some recent (and earlier) posts

this stuff sounds more like the ravings

of a manic-depressive psychotic

than a visionary on the order of..say...

San Juan de la Cruz

(it was he who said "Vision is a measure

of the defect of vision." after all)


so I'll cut this shit out

and go back to what I'm really only capable of doing...

that's to say...dealing with matters at hand...


hey...high low medium or any other fake measure

of our place in the chain

we all are deluded to some degree

and we all wish for what is not ours

and we all make hash of our best endeavors


and we all at some point cry ourselves to sleep

so I will be with you in that and if I do it right

you won't even know it when I'm gone...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

FINAL CONFESSION

well--that sure as shit didn't work


owning up is hard when you learn

through bitter experience

that mercy and forgiveness are in our human dominion--


the universe could give two fucks

whether we repent and atone

vengeance is all that matters


God's vengeance that is--

and God could care less

what we do--


the way to heaven is to freely choose

to be a slave to a deity that is never satisfied--

(if you don't believe in fairy tales


then think cause and effect

and the mechanics of a monstrous process--

to be redeemed is to give up


all notions of a forgiving Source of Life

and to surrender to your own death

empty as a jug after debauchery--


I thought I had a plan

I thought I could amend--

maybe some people are allowed this


but my sins must be so heinous

that nothing but my destruction

will balance any scales in the heavens--


so I accept my failure

caused by my own childish faith--

the injustices in creation


are God's creation also--

we wish we could kill God

and know we can't


so we slay each other instead--

the religious get around this by knowing

this was done by the Crucifixion--


the ritual slaughter to heal

the injustices in creation--

and while the herds perpetuate the harm


in their prayers and dogmas--their self-serving beliefs--

idiots like me who stumbled outside

the city gates at home in some wilderness


pay a worse price--madness--destruction of spirit--

and the dizzy emptiness of desolation and loss--

because every prophet must waken from


his dream of spiritual pride and face his human vanity

as Elijah as John the Baptist faced the consequence of

his murder of Jezebel at her hands as Salome--


no one escapes this implacable wrath--

but to find love and grace in this

is the concern of those the rest of us


can never hope to emulate--

I submit--I confess-I am contrite--

I wish to amend--I want to repent--I will atone


and every time I open my mouth to affirm--the universe again

collapses around me--so I tried to do right but that

sure as shit didn't work--


and only the end of this sojourn on earth will suffice--


only release from this hideous hell a world will suffice--


I am ready to go--God leaving me no other way to go--





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

CLOSURE THAT OPENS

this renovation of the world

continues beyond

any event we can control


no previous way of doing business

stands against the weasels

who run all these new games


and those who join

in their daily nibble

on the heels of the noble fallen


who were shaped by a time

that passed before their eyes

and is now bringing them to where they're


beyond their capacity to cope...

but the games are not new

and the crooked variable rules are the same


for those who would kill or be killed

let their aim be true

(though it never is...witness


the innocent bystanders

clogging cemetery plots

that should welcome their assailants)


let all who would proceed

do so as ever at their own peril

I know my time has gone passed


but I'm obliged to do my daily do

regardless of my diminishment

and what this closure on the lives


of me and mine means to anything

has yet to be determined

and opened at last...by who?




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito.

THE BED

I will not tell a living soul

I saw you naked

and we both were pleased


Fred was right about

hungering for the Spirit

when the flesh was denied


I did and regretted it

until I was grateful

for finding you


now in our spirited flesh

we both are pleased


and as we spoon

in the middle of the night

not another living soul will know....




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU PRAY SELFISHLY

I gave up too soon...or not...


as if my guardian angels

(those infernal henchmen


of the unforgiving One)

were waiting for me


to quit before sending along

what I longed for and needed


here's my advice...don't do anything

let these mentors get their nuts sucked


by someone else who thinks

as I once did


that he needed them for something

whether it was his to have


or not....




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserevd.

BEDTIME PRAYER FOR A SMILER

everybody's gone to sleep

praying that God won't make them weep


the angel on duty gives one last sweep

and says aw fuck it and takes a leap





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THIS ONE'S A TOUGHIE

I spoiled the surprise


you were ready to jump on me

and I didn't show up


a gossip told me afterward


people are such fucking weasels


surprise surprise True One

this is what you get


when strangers listen to silence

to hear your counsel


and explain afterward...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

EFFORT

I'm forcing it now

forcing myself to act


because if I don't

nothing happens


and if I do

nothing happens


but the punishment

of forcing myself...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ALAS

a generation separates us


kindred souls

who might have done some real damage


and loved every moment of it

had we come together


the same age back in the fabled time

of sex and drugs that sounds now


like a degenerate's dream of paradise

that birthed the world


we find ourselves in


consequence like afterbirth

and we across from each other


on opposite sides of our time

the binding of us wistful and apart...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I MAY BE TEMPTED

I may be tempted

to tell you truth


but to you it'd be lies

and an attempt then moot


to bridge

unbridgeable worlds


around which our rivers

of incomprehension curl


so I'll save myself

the useless try


and you'll be spared

the need to examine why


let fearful waters divide us

each on our banks of no trust...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

HOW I WISH...

I could go home

and forget everything

that has happened


I dream with my eyes open

so what if all I see

is my dream?


I remember everything and wish I could forget

but the dream fades and so do I...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

EMPTINESS RULES

******************


************

*********


******************

**********


*************************

***********


*********...



Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BIG GAME HUNTER

everyone

has to be this

at some time or

another


whether it be

for a job

or a score

or a lover


do not

believe otherwise

unless

you are the kind


who shoots himself

in the foot...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE FACT

weasels run the game...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

LIABILITY

there's no divine retribution...


we screw ourselves

and are so proud


of our accomplishment...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

what is it with

the Source of Life


that it demand pain

and suffering


to learn?

doesn't God know


you can catch more flies

with honey than with vinegar?





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

someone

somewhere

is happy


let

that

be

hope for


the rest of us





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

REALISM

too many think

an acceptance of reality

is pessimism


what!?


a charge of pessimism

is too too easy

and won't let any of them

off the hook


we all know...as Runyon put it...

life is a 6 to 5 proposition...against!


I stopped thinking too much

and...like it or not...accept the odds...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito.

HATERS

God cannot be killed

so haters kill us


as haters crucified Christ

the revenge murder


against God for creating this world

the way it was created


they killed a man

and so say a Son of God at that


and killed themselves in the process

and so kill themselves when they kill us


haters hate everyone and everything

this world their private mirror but


God cannot be killed

and they cannot see...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BEST WISHES

oh I wish there was

something I could leave you

that would add to your joy

and your well-being


or leave persuaded

what good I did unknown to me

was realized to your benefit

and all was not totally in vain...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

another day in God's eternity


this particular earthly moment

finds this ersatz seer

looking for work some daily toil

to keep body and soul together

until a mercy of release is finally granted


a thousand on line ahead of me

and a thousand and one behind...in this always...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

UNTIL TOO LATE

we never know until too late

whether we wandered or walked the path straight


we cross a line unseen on every path

the line between God's patience and His wrath




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

what else is there

but our own identities

holding our sense of 'self'

in our memories?


we are One but One in what?

the true Ineffable each

of our unique parts the same?

or some rebellious selfishness


that mis-understands itself

isolated from all others

and enraged to dominate

obeying itself like a cancer in a healthy body?


all I remember comprising who I am

was always amazed at the easy slide

from awareness to blind self-adoration

and how all of us are dragged down


with this single malcontent

who'd block entry into the beyond

and deny others what it denies itself

oh how our Oneness makes us suffer so


and how it'll never end as long as we wear

the flesh of who we think we are...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

this foggy morning

gray wool mist of damp air

headlights dim on the road

children shepherded to school by their mothers


how like other definitive mornings of consciousness

I've had in this life

except that I was young then

and now being old the same feeling but seen


and felt from this end of the life

all the living strands of life tangled

in this one dull realization of how things are

and amazed how this is where I find myself


those who passed before were right in this

oh oh oh how brief this living is...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I have no strength but to surrender

grace exhausted

luck run out

time up in every way


and that's all there is

and that's all there is

and that's all there is

to it...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

don't expect hosannas from me


I'm trampling through the ruins of the past

seeing the remains of the world I lived in


under the foundations this generation

has erected for itself and enduring the same


delusions that will do them down in the imagining

that they'll make some definitive difference


and for this continued grief of vain humanity

and its inventions of solace and justification


what ashtray/jack handle/Big Bang/black hole

that gave birth to all this scramble of consciousness


some of us have learned to say 'bugger it'

and pass by at the other end of our time here


praising nothing but being alive...and silently at that...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the pressure's unrelenting

and the need to proceed acute


nothing's different than before

nothing's changed at all


except the turning away from

from doubt and certainty


and the turning to forging forward

even if not knowing where or how...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

RE-REVIVAL

it awakens again


the Will to Live


all that came before

consumed in a fire of suffering


and all that is to come

whatever its weight


and whatever its price


the reason for being willing to live...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THIS IS THE PLACE

I feel drained of all nervous passion

but not of calm graceful appreciation


whatever I fought against that was

so hard on the heart was nothing compared


to the terror of finding out

how sweet and easy letting go could be


emptied of all presuppositions

desolation turns to the path that leads


toward where I really must be

and the slowly stirring will


to go there...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

DELIVERED

I haven't gone mad

just intensely sane


I cut off the dead branches

and all the rotten fruit


that did not fall

and dispatched them to their heap


and delivered myself

from the conservation


of so much tonnage

of sorrow and regret


and now new tilling

nothing's all done yet


and I'm free and clear

to drive that plow again...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

NOW ARE YOU HAPPY?

you demanded my life

and after I gave it


you gouged and took more

and more and more


every whit of the price you said

you thieving lying piece of eternal shit


I'm empty and dry and still

you keep draining my carcass


you vampire you filth...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

FORSAKEN

...though I walk through

valley of the shadow of death

I will fear no evil


because no one will be with me...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

NO MORE TO SAY (AT LEAST ABOUT MY USUAL GRIPES)

I think I've tapped out this vein of alternate

praise and blame


hope in the mercy of the One

and despair of mercy from the same


if I should die before I wake

hosannas in the highest for the Top Boss


I would see as a gain

what others will always mistake for loss





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

shine my pipe and kiss my ass

my time on earth is coming to pass


no wisdom do I discern

my beliefs all need to be unlearned


I know now if I woke up sooner

there'd be no way I couldn't ruin 'er


the need to repent and amend I mean

given to demons who triumph unseen




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BLAH

...I repeat...

BLAH!!!!




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

to hell with this shit

I'm going out strong


giving up the useless vows to reform

the vows to amend


my spirit is strong

but my flesh is weak


and the god of love

is an urban myth


for keeping the meek in place




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm finished

but fate isn't finished with me


what worse can I expect

who has reached the end of his trail?


I'm prodded by circumstance

to keep moving on


but where do I wind up

now that my time is gone?




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

AND NOW FOR NOTHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

I do not call the shots


I thought I did

but the results

never matched the intent


maybe one could manage

a triumph or two

but that was never the case


for me...I don't know why...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BUSINESS AS USUAL

ass-end of the line again...


you'd think by now

I'd know the drill


and I do


but the perpetual

grinding of process


is resistant to ingenuity


ass-end of the line

only gives me the chance


to see what's rippling

down to me...


less than enough time

to duck and cover


bug-eyed at the impact...



Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

DOES IT MATTER?

we strive like assholes

for a redemption

we'll never be up to...


if it is granted

it is granted

despite our calculations


as given love and do what you will

and let God keep the books...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'VE BEEN BLESSED?

boned and sliced

chopped and diced

been dressed up in garnish

for a succulent dish


food for the gods

each one eats and nods

while the food sings praise

for alimentary passageways


leading to holy digestion...

oh fuck it...I lost the thought...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

TRANSITION

I remember all I'd forget

no loss of memory

outside the will

which is relinquished

when it fails to stay

the onslaught

of so much that only

exists now in mind


so much to recall

too much for a brain

to hold and consider


so I pass through my skin

my content with me always

until I forget what I'd remember




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHO AND WHERE

looking some more

for who or where


I paused by a door

and met someone there


we tried talking it through

but to be perfectly fair


I lost interest in who

and forgot about where





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

MIND UNDER MATTER

it has been said

men learn against their wills


will can make all kinds

of pledges to reform and repent


but their bodies will steer them to

that piece of cake


that hot round ass

that scam leaving someone else bereft


and only when their bodies decline

only when their lusts are spent


and nothing achieved remains standing

only when their bodies give out


is will broken to understanding

the all-consuming realization it gained in loss...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

A TIME FOR ANYTHING

this is a time

for anything to happen


and if it did

where would we be on the curve


would our doubles stand up for us

would we be absolved of our brutish ignorance


if anything did happen

would it make a difference to our stamina our resolve


our faith...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

APOLOGY

if I had a clue

as to where all this life was leading


I'd probably give up trying

to say anything


the ego is the last thing to go

before what Shining Light


will wipe away all darkness

from what we think is right...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE WEARINESS OF TEACHING

I would never be a teacher


it would be too frustrating

making all that effort

to no avail


or to ends that

the teacher could never see

for themselves


I could never be a teacher with this little faith...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

O.K. NOW WHAT?

one could go crazy

trying to control the universe

or their own actions in it


and the cure is ever

the same...

give up this nonsense


live in the moment and stop

blaming everyone else for your failures...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

LOST

do you love me now

that all is lost?


the one you wanted

left you behind


now you turn to me

who you thought carried a torch


while all I wanted

was the body you were married in


hot and tight that is now

lumpy and knotted


all irony lost on you

while I take what I can


do you love me now

that I too am lost?





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

OH GET OUT YOU DON'T MEAN THAT

how can I

believe your praise


when nothing I do

gets the desired result


did I do myself in

by being real?


your praise is nothing

but a shaded insult...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

LUST I THINK

when you pass

my brain spins

my cock gets hard


but I'm old

I'm old

and your youth never


lets me

forget that...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

CHECK THE SOLES OF YOUR SHOES

"oh you're so wonderful...

it is truly a blessing

to have you in our lives..."


yeah yeah

and what do you say

behind our backs...


you who never wants to get deep?





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHAT YOU'LL BE

so many things cease to matter after awhile


what will become of me?

where will I go?


and always it's

this present moment


always you're where you are

and the condition is permanent


and you're pushing on

and you've always done


what you've always done

except one day


it will be over and all your imaginings

who you are and what you'll be


will cease to matter in what you've become...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

FRESH START NUMBER 859

today like yesterday

and the day after tomorrow


another clean slate

and a fresh splat of shit


landing on it

like a high-rise suicide


here it comes there it goes

eyes uplifted yet again...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SORRY YET AGAIN

maybe I didn't become what I was supposed to be

maybe I didn't realize how fatal that would turn out for me


all the things I should have done but didn't are one with

all the things I wanted to do but couldn't make fit


in with my presuppositions...my ignorance inviting

all kinds of failures and betrayals in-fighting


in my regret and wondering who I may have hindered

or changed in their fate by letting my intent be rescinded


well...I don't know who prospers when in sorrow and remorse

no amends can be made that'd change anyone's course


all who I've disappointed by disappointing myself

can always go out and find someone else


to unload on but for me in this awareness they'll never outdo

the idiotic wrongs to my charge that had such impact on you...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

GO ALREADY

I will take myself to the next highest level


or be pushed back into a previous rank

we're fools if we think we do other


than pontificate on our own mis-imaginings


I truly thought I could bring down the academy

with a few well-chosen truths


but being a manifestation of perfection's

intolerance and rigidity


it like all evils of the world

will endure a centuries-long empty husk


over which vermin will swarm


and praise their own living as a parasite's paradise

which I and others I see on this ledge attempt


to toss the rope cling to a precipice and hoist for better or worse...




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I HAD NO IDEA I WAS BEING LISTENED TO...

I didn't realize I had spoke so carelessly


but plenty will remind me

with disrespect and mockery


I didn't think I knew differently

than others I had encountered


I spoke shit out of disdain

feeling invisible but others were watching


I had no idea I was being listened to...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

INCISORS

what would I have to say

to get the sonic hounds of heaven


off my trail...my heels

a magnet for their incisors?


why waste your words?

God won't be happy


until you die of His judgement

(that wicked vengeance


that will not forgive

nor allow forgiveness or amendment)


you can do nothing that will help

being merely human and fucking up


yet again for all your sincerity...

the hounds close with their dripping fangs...





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SAD INVOCATION

oh anybody

hear as i tell of it


my Tower of Strength

is still my Pile of Shit...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito.

WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU EXPECTING?

what the hell were you expecting?

glowing foreheads

being slapped

by penitents saying

oh what were we thinking?


some new order that would

govern us

with our only responsibility being

to say

we are at peace the King has come?


we're blowing it again

but that's all we can do here

herded together in our pens while anti-christs

proclaim Godly virtues and a new world? Fools!




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

NEWS IS REDUNDANT

news is redundant...

every day it's the same stories

over and over

with different faces

but the same mean hearts




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHOLE WORLDLY CHORUS

why has it taken

most of my life

for me to

wake up to my life?


nothing has changed

all notions of uplift

and reform

are clown shows


why has it taken

this long to just be?

to live in the moment

even if that moment


is here in this play

wearing this costume

playing this role this time...

but in that


I join the Whole

Worldly Chorus

our voices raised

in this song


singing "Holy Holy Holy Shit

how did I get here so soon...?"




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.