all motion is waiting


when waiting is over

all motion will end


and then our journey

truly begins...


well...what are we waiting for?





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HAS THE GARDENER REALLY GONE?

mulch the deepest darkest richest soil

and let it burst the planted seeds

to produce the lightest brightest flowers

to wave amid the hard loam for our living


every mineral deva in attendance

strengthens the foundation

as every vegetable deva dances

the various forms of life to fruition


and we who are pale and wasted

amid this common glory

see nothing but the wind-whipped flowers

bending for their lives against the gale


and await our fall to mulch

the deepest darkest richest soil





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

nothing you expect is expected


how many control freaks ruin their brains

trying the rules the swirling processes


of the cosmos

as if they had transcended beyond


the unexceptional bounds....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

help comes from all sources

but action has only one strict focus






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THE SWEETEST THINGS

the sweetest things make me weep


I was not made for earthly life

but pay a plenty from somewhere in my progress


that makes me weep for what could've been....


and this we all

sing in unison...

this is the song we all play...


our soundtrack record of our time this time....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

as the shadow follows the wing

so do our remains stand behind

our forward flight...


away to where we are....






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A STOP-GAP

a stop-gap for sure...but...


if you wish to gain some control of your conduct

incorporate chaos into your ritual


knowing a bending branch will endure

where an unyielding one will break in the wind...


a stop-gap...but what isn't in this life?





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

we do not pay for the sins of the fathers

onto the seventh generation


we pay for our own sins

returned as the descendants of who we sired


ages ago....





Content (c) 2008-2103 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

STRUGGLE

when you've reached a level of awareness

that attests to the unity of all existence


it's hard to get worked up over the illusions

that keep us at each other's throats here in the earth


evidently the Apocalypse is an outgoing process

squeezed out of the centuries of feuding loving bloodlines


and the acts that die with us in each lifetime

but whose shames follow us from life to life


demands a restitution and a balancing

that only further shames can push to an consciousness of...


even in this new historical dispensation the petty hates

and healing loves will struggle against the reality


that is the painful absolute birth

of our eons-old souls seeking at last the imagined Finality....




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

EVEN GOD MUST LEARN THERE ARE NO STRINGS ATTACHED TO LOVE

I will love you complete

no matter what the Source of Life demands


our little pains and small loves

mean nothing to the Eternally Heartless


but ultimately our business is different from the One's

the One's insists...demands...we leave these realms behind


or return again and again if we fail to...

it's all One so why these distinctions?...(oops...fallen again...)


and so I turn to you my love to love you complete

we are in this hell together and if there is a way


to join what is above with what is below

it is on us to find it...and if this God Himself


leaves all liability on us then it is on us

to be and heal and love and forgive...complete....




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I wasn't expecting much in this life

and not much was my yield


but as another put it...would I have not failed

had I believed in Grace?


I know better now...we all own up

liability is completely on each of us


and trying to argue the point with the Divine

is like trying to deal with a pope a terrorist or a CEO





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

doing your best is the best you can do


any amendment or repentance you make

is paying forward


because in each life the only way out

is to endure the God's unrelenting unforgiving vengeance


so if you were awaiting a miracle...don't...

and accepting this is a good point on which


to move forward...at best....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

nothing's ever really finished...


even those you left behind

will turn up at some point

in some life and be a heaven or hell to you....





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a long-winded goodbye


will hopefully result

in a brief and precise


hello when it is time to return....






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only a creative mind can know no rest...


pity the poor mates who hooked up

with an artist and found themselves


second fiddle to the work....





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I load too much on this blog


too much goes unread I'll bet

I must find other projects to absorb


the creative mind that refuse to rest





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latinas are HOT

asian girls are HOT

middle eastern girls are HOT

Indian girls are HOT


and all of them are useless to me

in my deep age

but I remember the buzz

they fired in the blood


I remember the rage of hormones

even if it's for me

faded and abstracted

and reduced to kisses and hugs


among the grandchildren and nieces

if I'd done better in my life all my girls

would have gained more respect

then they got from the fool who could not


distinguish love from lust and look beyond the bodily shells

to the beauty that animated them....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I made a line

thinking it would lead to the Source


it was a circle closing





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WISE?

a wise man will have dominion over the stars


gotta wise up

gotta find me a guru


Lord..you or any of the archangels available?






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EMPTY PLATE

I wait beside my empty plate

alms for the idiot


the fool

the disgrace






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you will not understand

until it is too late


when you failed to give your hand

you sealed your own fate


now when you need succor

no manner of help will do


and whatever it is you search for

will be denied you...






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

sounding depths like a bat in the night






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WE

we wrestle with angels and tangle with demons

in heavens and hells of our own creation...






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SALVATION...ACCORDING TO SOME

with every illusion shattered


we continue...

the emptiness black as pitch

and a blindness

to the sighted eye...


and even the Carpenter holding

the keys to unlock our hells

was compelled at the breaking hour to ask


Father why has thou forsaken me?

if even Jesus himself had to endure the earth

(as Adam the first one to fall

as Jesus the first to arise...so one tradition puts it)


if God didn't even spare Jesus

how can anyone think they'll catch a mercy...another illusion shattered






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

from this spot

all looks vast and engulfing


to see this finally

helps you set you own pace


understand your parameters

know why you're still always on your way


from this spot you can see

everything and not have to move....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

DEMANDS FOR A SERVANT

I'm glad you didn't hear

my advice on the upcoming

choice of your way forward

Good God what would have happened

if you paid attention to what I said

and failed in your usual fashion?

I'd never hear the end of it

you demand satisfaction and I learn a little more

each time how better to mock

the demands for a servant....

Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

DON'T IMAGINE

imagine the way

through your own illusion


how all you think is gross delusion

is truly real in every way


(I won't complicate matters

by pointing out that illusion


is real because it exists

in its conditioned reality)


don't even imagine what the

Unconditional truly is


don't imagine don't think don't speculate

just be and act and do and love


working through the illusion

truly real in every way....



Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

HEADING EAST

CXontent (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ENDEAVOR

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THE MULCH

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IN LOVE

I am in love with all this is young and fresh...


even if that time has passed for me

I am still in love with the newness


of young souls setting out

even if I know the griefs they'll learn


and there's nothing anyone else can do for them

they'll find their spot in the orchard


and their freshness will also bloom and ripen....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

CIRCLES

we are finally drawn into the circle


outside the perimeter are howling chaotic beasts

within are nervous souls still not sure of their way forward


but still not ready to give up in despair

for when an old circle closes


a new one opens up and when our individual cycles ends

we are released beyond the howling beasts


to see again the atomic gyres of this only creation






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

GREETINGS

To those I've missed

Please don't be pissed


These wishes for love and peace abound

The whole year 'round







Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved

BEFORE BIRTH

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WHY WE CAME AND WHETHER WE GO

we forget why we came or whether we go

and so each of our imagined inner gods

war with another's

forge alliances with the ones who agree

and pursue endless vendettas against ones who don't


and it will never be any different in the earth

this is where we forge some greater understand

and succeed or fail according to our lights

and our faulty bonds and our frazzled delusions

oh is it any wonder Jesus wept?


bow and scrape before whatever avatar or notion of the Infinite

you were trained to bless and to cling to...

those of us who stumble outside your gated realities

take your curses as blessings...and the One's silence as balm....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE LAST THING WE WANT TO HEAR

goodbye to friends

true and false


goodbye to lies

that shaped all living


goodbye to pride

that choose beyond its bounds


goodbye to every belief

that destroys the moral grid of being


none of us is free

none of us is clear


and that's the last thing

we want to hear


but all of us will be judged

and goodbye and goodbye and goodbye and goodbye....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.






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FATES

in our hands


the fates of worlds

yet to be born


in our trembling hands....







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HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND OTHER SUCH CONVENTIONS

ah!


again the season of fake piety

and again


the infant doomed to die

at the hands of the hordes


ah!


again the the Plan inexorable

and again affirmed by how the world worships....







Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE DISDAIN OF THE INSINCERE

I'm happy to let go of you


no longer at your service

I wonder how you'll manage...


well...I don't wonder that much

you'll find someone else to manipulate


but I'm pretty sure you won't make the mistake

of picking some one like me to play...


distinguishing diffidence from weakness

was never your strong suit


until my departure schooled you




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHO TELLS THE TALE

all I told you

was a simple lie


you made a reality

out of it


and if exposure

makes a fool of you


I can show

your reality was true






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SELF-REWARD

flatter the vain

it's easy to do


and such a glory

for a vain one like you






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I've strewn many treasures

among the posts of this blog


sometimes more than the daily seven posts

allowed any single page


some of you might be missing

something that could be relevant to your life


pick through past threads as you would

open a book to a page (remember that?)


and just stick a finger to that page

and start reading


and either it'll be a help or a hinderance

to you...I wouldn't know


I've strewn many treasures across these pages

but they belong to none...and to all....




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ANT

I am an ant

you are an elephant


I will defeat you

and you won't know


what hit you except

it would be something


outside an elephant's

frame of reference






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

AN EXTRAVANGANCE

I love my own straying


how I'll miss drugs and strippers

and plain old nose-thumbing


the unmerciful earthly powers-that-be


when the crack of some kind of doom

sounds through a dark empty sky


you'll find me with the beggars and the whores

holding a broken bowl


with an insane grin watching the pompous power-mad

bug-eyed and slack-jawed in their limos


while we dance outside their rolled-up windows

tempting them to join us in the gutter


joy unconfined at the cracking peal of thunder

that swallows the whole world in what we once called ecstasy....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

feel better now?


we're all off the hook


we thought we could make amends

we thought we could make things right


but all we do is add to our grief

all we do is worsen our stance


if you want so badly to make

any kind of amends


then the way to do it

is to humbly accept your privations


and know your intent is as off-base

as the 'sins' for which you're trying to atone


what a dent in the pride that thinks itself humble

what a come down for the vain who think they're righteous....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

what if all love and hope and care

is just a dream?


better those fleeting fulfillments

than the last flapping of arms


in a black fading nothingness....





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I sit before the Throne


thinking I'm unnoticed

(though probably not)


my bowl overturned

blood seeping through my rags


begging before the Invincible Seat

not yet perfect enough to pass over


I must die and slump...and then release....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

LIGHTS OUT NOT

lights out


not called by any of us

(short of suicide


which is a breach of contract)

life is hard and the One means business


and penalties abound

where rewards are held tight and stingy


and no lights out until all is gouged first....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

tired...so bloody tired

as the year pivots on the solstice

and we move again to the Light


so tired that even Light

can no longer awaken

the sense of purpose that


frames our striving...

how tired must one get before one can finally rest?






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

all desire to be productive

in what remains of life

has been shot down...

too young or too old

you're not working

and so will not be


and the hope of cleaning

up your mess and settle

all earthly business

is just that...the world giving

you the business...

none of your efforts matter


all self is in vain

compared to the Law that metes judgement






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

VANTAGE

how much has been wasted in shame and loss

is equal in one who counts all cost


the idea that redemption could be achieved

is something that one finds unable to be believed


so one dies in one's passionately clung-to grief

thinking it transcendence and not mere relief


and how much has been wasted in confidence and hope

is equal the vastness of one's imprecise scope....




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

all the reality of living fails

when people die of their fairy tales





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A PART OF ME

I'm with the morons

(clearly being one myself)


for thinking I had a notion

that absolved me of my moral debts


and even while a part of me

twitches under the denied attainments


the other part knows me a fool

and never forgets....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

holy or profane

wisely clear or clearly insane


we have our wisdom

and excuses and then some


you think you're so sure

but I'm not so sure


and I'm not so sure I'm clear

to point out the bullshit that I hear


another Winter another New Year

another new set of conditions to fear


or just say to hell with the whole damn issue

our intent guaranteeing nothing true


we make worm tracks through the cheese of time

and disown them with "oh...that's not mine..."


aware of a reckoning that will settle that refusal

with no more ignorance to bamboozle


whether holy or profane

or tentatively clear or clearly insane....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE NEXT OPENING

I have different notions now


as if I awoke to some realization

that's beggared and belittled


all I once held true and right

and left me at some tiny grief


that was go after a brief prayer

and a final toast as different notions


lead me to the next opening of the day....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

YOU FIGURE IT...I CAN'T

in no time


an end rises to greet and fulfill

a beginning


in no time at all


it is done and its completion

generates yet another one...


another beginning bound to end

in an end that fulfills and opens a beginning





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

INSTANT

I long for this instant

to last just a little few moments longer...


the peace...the stillness...the...


(                                   )


...and the moment passes

and the longing passes


and there is.................

oh wordless bliss..............................





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OH HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH PLEDGES OF REFORM

I promise I'll be

less hoity-toity


try (hard) to stop

speculation on notions


of which I barely

have comprehension


I promise I'll stumble

with everyone else


and make little noise about it

if I've strength and will and bravery enough


to make that promise stick....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

NEWLY ARRIVED

newly arrived among the separated...


we seem familiar to each other

and hale each other haltingly...


reluctantly...newly arrived

yet something suggests


an ongoing thread...a tie that unites

that cannot be easily untied...


that sews the separated into fresh union of...what?





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

DAMNING FOCUS

wiping sleep and mucus

away from the splitting lids


and blinking confusedly

at the blear light


a split second of egoless calm

followed by the damning focus


that draws us into the ambivalence

of the yet-again-new day....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BARNYARD

I am at the mercy

of silly little fools

who will never comprehend

I am one with them

under the thumb

of vicious dirty more

powerful fools...


a column of cocks

and a pecking order

that shames every fowl

in the line

but our overalled Farmer

will not have it otherwise


while the hens do the heavy squatting....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I cannot cease from what is in progress


it was ongoing before I came

and will continue so after I go...


and my part in the process

completes a part beyond my scope


I am in progress and cannot cease....







Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

waiting to be born again


like the beast in Yeats's great poem

the easy fear and lustful guilt


of the entire Piscean Age

and it's romantic delusions


and horrific vapors...

how childish it all now seems


how ignorant and wanton

as a new knowledge adds a base to bind


the memories of ages into this freshness of being

waiting to be born again...


nothing in the world really different than before...

and yet it is because of the new awareness...


improved wisdom as to why it is the same yet different....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE LITTLE SNOW FIELD

and so under all that is past and gone


remains the template that holds the renewal...

as under the shingle or under the small gunnels


of water from the melting ice of this field

there is a stirring and a slight sweet smell


that hints of the coming thaw

that will rise and come over as the sun climbs higher


on all that is fresh and yet to come....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE LONG AVENUE

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NO ESCAPE

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THE PLAYGROUND

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HOW IT WORKS

all that's behind me lies ahead of me


so God would have it

so I'm obliged to receive it


we're all in the same fix

and we're all working to accommodate that bind


but all our workings only work

if all this similarity of earth


be mastered not by us but by what flows through us






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

YOU CAN'T BE FOR REAL

zero to sixty in a second?

are you serious?


I'm talking zero to Mach One in half that time!


something calls us to action

without instrumentality

even if we're not really there quite yet...


but the pitch of Time has been raised

and we all sqweak a little higher


and you'll be amazed that I arrive before you

before you even close your phone???





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

PUNCTURING THE VANITY OF GOD

if all is as it is then no one (including the Almighty)

can have it both ways...


I owe I'm no better than anyone else

but to pay life onto life for trivialities


that we mere humans ourselves

would forgive each other


speaks poorly for this Ineffable Source Of Life

who seems to be anything but about forgiveness and mercy...


why complain?

we hold life in our own hands...not His...or Hers...or Its...


whatever this intractable unmerciful Ultimate is justified in being...

but if it is up to us...each of us...to make it right...


then let it be as it is...and love me as I'll love you...

beyond any condition...beyond any price....






Content (c0 2008-2013 Philip Milito. all rights reserved.


Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

OH DAT LAWD AG'IN

it took so little to make me happy...


no wonder God raged

and sent extra wounds to me


God is the only power there is

and even that isn't enough


God says obedience but its submission

that is required...and as long as I do right and am happy


God will just have to go elsewhere for His power trip...


all liability on us...so let it damn well be....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SNOW

I have seen two snowfalls today


one in the morning

and another one this afternoon...


increments to the One Eternal Snow

that fills my memory


with all the beauty of one of

the few things I loved in this life


that gave me peace and made me happy....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

PROBABLY WON'T HAPPEN...BUT IT'S NICE TO HOPE...

2,000 years of the Aquarian Age

and glitzy myths of brotherhood and Oneness


followed by 2,000 years of the Capricornian Age

when the Kingdoms of Men will hold awful sway


until the Age of Sag blesses with the Absoluteness of the One

for another 2,000 years...if I must reincarnate in this world


I'll try if I can to come back 8,000 years from now

when the next Age of Scorpio busts everything out again...


(oh I do love my good times...eh eh)





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

do my best or not...


I will be awarded

the fruit of my effort


meager pickings

or a full harvest I do not ask


what was planted will be reaped

and what was fallow will be weeded out


do my best or not....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

nothing I asked for

can compare to what I received


you'd think by now

the hungers and faithlessness of


my daily skin and its greedy mind

would have grown an understanding


that all fulfills us

and we truly do lack for nothing






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SOME RESOLUTION

some resolution will be at hand


even if it's not quite

what we wanted or expected


some resolution will be at hand


and when it comes

it will change the game so thoroughly


you'll either get it once and for all

or grow new wants and expectations....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ANOTHER METAPHYSICAL MORNING

time does not leave us behind


it is only us

who cling to certain manifestations of the Eternal


and lose them in our grasps

as so much swirls around us


forms coming to be and falling away

and us among them...as time flows on it is only we


who leave ourselves behind....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

AFTERNOON...ANY AFTERNOON

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THE MORNING WE'VE WAITED FOR

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WE NEVER SHOW HOW MUCH...

we never show how much we love each other...


we're afraid of being shamed

we're afraid of standing alone in our declarations


and aren't such knots of self the very thing

we need to overcome


if we are to join in our loves?

but then without such struggle


would we really know the worth of our love?






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

A SMALL AMOUNT

a small amount of grief

colors the sorrowful morning


but why mourn what's done?

a small amount of relief


does not vouchsafe belief


but it does smooth the feelings...

the unalterable feelings...

and let's the hurt fade into your stamina....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

MOON AND ICE

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WHAT MORE CAN BE SAID OF WHAT IS?

my life has been equal measures

happy and sad


like anyone else's

like everyone else's...


I don't care what you or I or anyone thinks...

what is is all there is


and wherever we go...there we are....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

MOON AND ARCH

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AFTER

we left the hall at dawn

after an ecstatic night of celebration...


the pale morning broke on our eyes

as a pale full moon set in the western sky...


your drained face smiling

pale as that moon but for the bright red lips...


arm in arm our sides touching

as we supported ourselves in the fresh new morning....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

YOUR OWN GRAND BALL

I leave you twirling

in your own congested world

of insincerity and deceit

of that strange mix of selfishness and

fearful dependency...


you won't get anyone to dance with you

if you desperately clinging to their invitation

but I told you over and over that was the case

and you either didn't hear or were unable

to do anything about it...


we learn our own steps

and lead or are led depending on the partner

but to lose that apprehension of the beat

is to gyrate wildly in some corner to your own broken music....




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

YOUR PLACE

worlds die and other worlds are born

every second we breathe


why are you so worried about this

particular one you're inhabiting


at this moment?

if your place really isn't here


you'll soon enough find out

which one is yours....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE UNIVERSE IS ELECTRIC

our achievements are as nothing

if they are not something to another


and positive as a plus charge


creation is already

a negative charge


but switch that current

and you'll get the shock you need


to reverse the polarities of your endeavors....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SO MUCH FOR FAME

a young girl

recognized my name

and came up to me and asked

"are you the one who wrote

we desire/the way a twice-poisoned dog/

eyes/a third piece of meat ?"


I said 'yes I am..."

she said..."oh"... and walked away....






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I MEAN...REALLY...

I told someone

I believed in an afterlife


and this one asked

"What if you're wrong


and there's nothing afterward?"

and I laughed and said


"for crying out loud if I were wrong

how the hell would I know it?"





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NONSENSE

such an old scamp...

here I am trying to get right

with the Only Power That Be


and my concentration is broken

by a sweet young beauty passing by

who has yet to discover the price of her wiles...


the low hum of desire sounds through me

but only enough to remind me that in the earth


the nonsense never ends...sweet young beauty...

bring your mother around....






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I cannot tell what's best for me...


considering the sins for which I'm atoning

that might be for the best


if I interfere with myself and my fate

I'll probably only add


to my misfortune...an absence of ego

is required and we all come short in such things


but also requiring is continuous striving...that is for the best....






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BRAVERY

I'm as befuddled as anyone

regarding what is yet to be


let the brave storm ahead

heedless of consequence


they are better served in their bravery

than those who sit in their cells of self


thinking they can stage-manage

the destinies their lack of bravery denies them.....






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DREAMS AGAIN

dark dreams again


rejection and possible danger


am I reading these right?

are they dreams of contrary


promising good fortune

after a harrowing trial?


or are they warnings

of some inevitable doom


that gouges every whit of some price

the Ineffable coldly demands?


...to hell with it...all these affairs

will turn out as they will


and my best course is to accept

and take my necessary fall...and afterward?....





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RElINQUISHING ILLUSION

I believe nothing I can comprehend

I accept nothing I can affirm


reality is more vast

and its workings so beyond our scope


that anything we think can only be

false and an impediment


and will be so until we can all

blank our minds and fill with peace...





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OPEN

portals of flesh open

to the Infinite


and each embrace

is a doorway


even if your mind

is closed and locked


some day the right touch

will embolden you to walk through....





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COMPARISON SHOPPING

yes I know

the emperor has no clothes


but please

show me the empress....





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lost on a road

spreading into a thousand forks...


that's this moment

and how it is going...


eyes glazed under a monochrome

winter sky and wondering ...


lost on a road

and there's only one way....






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THIS BLOG

this blog emits messages

through open channels and passages


says what it says does what it does

compares what can be with what was


some of it is poetry

and some of it is commentary


mostly it's me just talking to you

hoping with every word and image I'm getting through....






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MORNING YET AGAIN

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APPARITION

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THE BOTTOM OF THE NIGHT

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49 DAYS IN THE VOID

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APPROACHING THE BARDOS

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we are all alone each of us

we are all together every one


blessing or curse

or which is better or worse


(or which is which)

we all have no idea


we're all wisdom

we're all nuts






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YET ANOTHER FRIDAY THE 13TH

perpetually

I fall

with the Templars


who defended

a mystery

the Church would not


defend or accept

(among other

more worldly


reasons to bloody them)


perpetually

my relics

tinkle within


my skin without champions....





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PASSAGE

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untitled picture

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AT LAST, AT FIRST

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WINTER MORNING

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I make ready to move

prepared to go


wherever it is

I'm bound to go


in one form or another

some identity yet


to be forged I'll see you there

and remember all....






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tiresome to be sure


who needs a preacher?

we forge our own ways home


and need not the intrusions of gloryhounds....






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VANITIES

you will upend any fate but your own

if you fail to see your fate entwined

with every soul you've joined in living out

the various strands of fate we share


and that will also upend your fate...

failure to fix the crying demand for amendment

requiring the forgiveness and acceptance we find

so hard to bring into our correction...


all of us know the rules...all of us play the game...

and in each moment of choice lies our direction

we commit to each other in our dodgy trust

weaving a mend into the fabric


or tearing the whole design upending the only Plan

and prolonging all vanities...especially our own....





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a surprise with every defeat...


a graceful way out to some absolution

if you have it in you to admit defeat...


that incomprehensible grace within judgment





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OUR CONNECTION

I will not leave you of my own accord


hand of God or clutching grasping fingers of demon death

or plain old one wrong move too many


will have to claim me and extinguish this sojourn

before I betray the vow we exchanged


(oh lovers alone in their love) much tempted and put upon

I will have to be taken from this world


before I sully our connection in the next....






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SOME ANGEL

some angel insists on giving me

hot foots by the dozen...

no other information forthcoming...

evidently I'm supposed to figure out 

why on my own...

oh angel take a hike give it a rest leave me alone

let me get some bearings before you abandon on

dark seas all alone...

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beware of those who seek their glory in your shame






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anytime you ask someone about something

you wind up knowing less about it

than before you asked...


input should be limited

for everyone has trouble winnowing out

what is useful only to themselves


and you don't want to run out your string

of help before you may really need it....





Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

what I could teach you

is useless to any but myself


find a guru...follow a guide for sure

but the best will simply show you how


to teach and listen to yourself....





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WITHOUT ANY DIFFERENCE

life on earth has worn me down...


dulled my senses

caused reflection


until everything's grown vivid again


and I've no idea why or how

it's just more circles closing


and where I once was young

is where I now am old without any difference....






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when all we desire does us down


is it a desire to live or to die

or to live eternally that makes us think


whatever kills us must be good for us?








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HOCK HOCK HOCK

people hock you to death

because they love you


and the more they hock you

the more you want to die


talk about your risk/benefit ratios...

what quality of life


if their idea of good diminishes

your quality?






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one loves to correct another

it absolves one of correcting one's self....

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I'm ready to go

where I'll be lead


luckily

I have nowhere


to go

and no one


to lead me


whatta break!






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ass over head

we tumble to our conclusions


land splayed like a smashed pumpkin

at the foot of a 60-story scraper


and the last conclusion

before the conclusion is an


"oops...shouldna done that"

that's right pal...but too late now


as they pull your head from your ass....






Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

HOLIDAY GREETINGS (MOST ECUMENICAL)

This bears repeating...especially at this time of year: "Love God with your whole being and your neighbor as yourself, since the Law is do unto others as you'd have them do unto you, if only because what goes around comes around and you will reap what you sow."
Now...do we keep this as a laundry list of cliches...or do we daily try to live it as an actual state of being? Call the Source of Life God or Goddess or Big Bang or black hole or tire iron or lamppost or ashtray or doorstop or kumquat or whatever...You can't name the Unnameable...you can only identify yourself! We all love and do as we will and leave the rest to whatever Mystery animates creation...

There's a 'holiday' message fer ya...now enjoy your feasts...If even Allen Ginsberg can acknowledge "All is Holy" (not to mention William Blake) then who am I to say not? Enjoy!

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ARRIVAL IN THE WINTER AFTERNOON

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FOLLOW THE LINE

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BOUNDARIES

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UNDER THE ARCH

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YET ANOTHER WAY OUT (THE WORLD IS FULL OF THEM)

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no one wants

this metaphysical stuff?


well too bad

it is as it is


and it's there in every tall tale

you bore your companions with


it's there in every uttered word

of romance with which you


and your beloved try

to hold back the ever imposing night


and it's there in every unattended moment

when you're not even thinking about it


and you ignore life to embrace life

despite this metaphysical truth....






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it will end as it will end

and the beginning recommencing


in the firm foundation of tamped earth

and muttered prayers aimed at the empty sky


don't pretend to a comprehension

that escaped greater minds than yours


the "beginning" lies in relinquishing what's past

as time in eternity ends as it will....





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the bright side of life

grows in my mind and heart...


but today it is the dark side

that upends and mocks my atonements


that jeers at the necessary fall

that catcalls the sacrificial death...


oh how bright the day must be

on the other side of our night....







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if my heart bled any more...

I'd power the veins of a nation


but alas my blood bearly waters

a vampire's thirst


and nations will drink the blood

of their own in due time...


we kill each other to live

we say grace to die comfortably....




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if all we loved came to our aid...


still would we wounded

still would some imperfections


remind us of the failings that damaged the heart

but sweetened the soul with understanding...


and every hurt more poignant

and every healing less painful if no less sad


if all we loved came to our aid....





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what in this world

could be more dangerous

than opening your heart?





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I'm sharing my heart with you...


please

put the knives away...?






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REFLECTION

reflection is good but...


every time I pause to ponder a course of action

the world around me changes


and I must pause again to ponder

wishing I could better think on my feet...


reflection is good...but....





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ALL WE KNOW OF THE EARTHLY LIFE

fish that I am this time


I swam up to the hook

and the next thing I knew


I was flopping around on a deck somewhere





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it pours out of me like water...


these words these thoughts

these free-associating snatches of talk


gurgling in the roar of rapids....





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FOR THOSE WITH EARS TO HEAR EYES TO SEE AND LEGS TO RUN...

I see where everything is heading


and but for this slight pause in the flow

I'm going that way as well


so are you

so are the rest of us


we who think we're on our way are

but not in the way we think we are


you'll see when you follow where the flow itself is heading....





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DISSOLVE IN THE LIGHT

waking up to the Real

is a continual process


as we rise through

dream after dream


each of them

also Real


continually rising

until the dreaming mind itself


shutters awake

beyond being...


as long as you are Real

you are not real


but an image in some divine brain

struggling to dissolve in the Light....





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EXACT

I think too fast

I learn too slow

and no love corrects

the mistakes I've made


so I face the fact

I'll end the way

I started out

with prices beyond


my comprehension paid

if I'd known better

I doubt a difference could be made

everything due...everything that's owed


will be accounted for

and it will be exact....





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43rd STREET

it wasn't there before...


but it sure will be now


for as long as it takes

to endure its term....





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they say everything's changing


but I say nothing's changing...

everything is just reverting to its true nature


and what could be more frightening to those who don't know their own?





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look in the mirror beyond your reflection


if you see nothing there

then you know you've done it right....





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IT WON'T FIT UNTIL YOU DO

there's no cheap easy mysticism

going on here...no bedroom visionary jerking off...


the fact of creation can only be

a smudge blurring the true workings


between our dim eyes and deaf ears...


let the scientist proclaim the processes of the universe

as refuting the existence of the very power that propels them...


and let the poet and the dreamer hide in their

childish wounds in a sob to an Eternal Father...


pray to God or acknowledge the black hole...


whether you call it the Lord...or Big Bang...or quasar or

ashtray or jack handle or lamplight


you bow before the very same Mystery

that animates all Life....




Content (c) 2008-2013 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

INESCAPABLE

whisper below the sky


and let the whisper rise

faintly like another wind


combing the stars to discover


their glittering and deliver their light

as whispers to your totality

hearing the light as it grows louder


in the inescapable dawn....





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WHAT CARNIVAL

what carnival the world


where greatness is disdained

and the common held in holy esteem...


who is not victim to a greater force than their own?

the wrecked weep in the gravel


while parade the ones yet to taste their fullness

face their consequence...endure their reckoning?


what mask your brazen identity about to capitulate....





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MANDELA

this tough man has finally died...


spirit stronger than those of his oppressors...


as impossible to kill

as the principle of freedom he espoused


but being merely human

almost as impossible to kill...


that he is not really gone is only cold comfort

for those who didn't rightly hear him


in the first place...who tired to agenda-ize him...


maybe I'm being harsh...when someone of this caliber

leaves the earthly sphere...who can carry the idea forward


but those of lesser fiber...but whatever misuse may ensue


can their fiber not be toughened by carrying his lead forward?

he was only what all of us should be....





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SELFIE

ho ho hee hee HA HA!!!!






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certain members of our tribe

make one pause to wonder


what they would be if they had

more than a motor stem....





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WHO?

who will bless the suffering ones

if not you?


who will help them

if you can't help yourself?


there's no way around

the fact of our Oneness


whose aid you come to will aid

your own healing and there's no difference


who heals who....





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what else did you want?

what else did you expect?


life is a dream

if you wanted more you had to wake up....





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A NIGHT IN THE LIFE

how like the dim light shining into the womb

is the dying light of day


death the next birth

and the next birth the morning


yet to shine....





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SOFT

I'm getting soft


the rages don't matter any more


everyone forges their own way forward

and makes heavens or hells

for themselves and for others


and as my own life sees me owning up

to the ones I've mistreated

they also are standing up and acknowledging their wrongs


and the forgivenesses close any circles that need closure


to the young who have yet to work out their way

all I can say is you won't have to worry this for years yet

but those years do fly and soon enough


you will also get soft and either rage at your end


or embrace the closure that opens....




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A SINGLE MOMENT

yes it's always here and now but look!


look at all that happens in a single moment

anywhere in the world!


train crashes happen as others awaken

in the quiet Sunday morning


and their peace is shattered the minute

they turn on the radio...


suicide bombers take as many as they can

with them into their bogus graves


while miles away a mother awakes in a hospital bed

to the cries of her new-born...


and what can be said? this is eternal...this is

the permanent pattern


and it only seems new to the young and yet-to-learn...


and if you wish to enlighten...wish to sing of it...

wish to teach and guide these souls into their sojourn


you would stop worrying about being trite or brilliant...

and do what you do from your ever-renewing heart


because that is also a part of the permanent template...

and always here and now is the passing away and coming to be


in one move...in each life....





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THE GATE REVISITED

even this shall pass


and the Way

close behind it....





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SOON ENOUGH

gray morning in almost winter


(my favorite kind of morning...

was I sojourning in northern lands

in some previous pass through the earth?)


and all the past is consumed and no way to stay

there...it's time has passed...

and the unknown future opens at every oncoming instant


on our way to to yet another spring dawn...soon enough....






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COMPANIONS

Queen Ivy has passed...


a long run in cat years

and going peacefully and purring


where now she joins her brother Marbles

and also William and Mammi and Oreo


and Punim and Duchess and all cats dying fair or foul

leaving this earth for a perpetual plate of warm milk


and an endlessly full bowl of kibble...the grief ours only....





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this time in the world

feels like a burning bridge

we're rushing to cross

but the other side is collapsing

like a landslide


this time in the world

we're rushing from doom to doom

with only our scared lives vivid between....




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FOR ALI

as millions of mirrors in the night sky

glitter with the reflections of all your selves


I wander beneath them in the field of my loving

each aspect of me lit by one of your shining points


oh I am defined by the night

that is to say


I am defined by you

who light this night


until I am one of your shining points....







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UNSELFING THE SELF

nothing I imagined

brought peace to me


like finally restraining

that yakking narrator


composing my biography

as I lived it and made me regret doing so...


his chatter is a dull distant white noise

like traffic on an interstate a mile and a half away


or a seashore rustling at the edge of sleep

that wakens me to this blessed silence....





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FIVE YEARS

five years...with the length of five years...


and life is indeed a beach

where out on the dead shingle

ruins of what has been wash up

putrid in end of their time


out of the sea-wreck comes the new life


we who are carcass feed we who are scavengers

the tiny crabs scuttling thought the waste

to begin again in this dark damp surge of life....





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so you've lived a life of regret and sorrow

with time outs here and there

for the joys that reminds you why

you loved life in the first place


but there's no yesterday or tomorrow

the time and place is always here

and now and there's no reason to cry

when in the end your sorrows leave but a teachable trace...






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UNDERNEATH ALL OUR CONFUSIONS

for you I'll be some steady voice

(your personal chaos reining in

my personal confusion)


giving me an objectivity

I wish I could train on myself


but we're all here to serve one another

we're all here to teach one another

we're all here to talk to one another


even if what we have to say

is as confused or hapless or useless as our hopes


in any small measure of forging our ways forward

at least we poke our way into whatever darkness prevails

at least we have each other for company


my voice...and your assent...and everybody murmuring

around the edges of our exchange


we may all think we're alone in this...and we are to some extent

but we listen for voices and hear ourselves

and adjust to the silence in our hearts....






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and so this work...


for you the value is in the thing done

for me the value is in the doing







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HELL IS HERE

oh Hell is pressing down on my today...


more so than usual...

above and beyond the daily bread and circuses


of our smug righteousness...


oh and I wait...and I wait...and I wait...


for some release that we still the daily hell

the One mandates for our spiritual seasoning...


I'm done...I'm finished...what the hell's the matter with You???





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ERROR

nothing makes me despair of our 'Oneness'

more than my daily dealings

with my fellow creatures...


how I hate their Mass Mind suicides of good taste

hoe I hate their easy excuses for their own mendacity


and their own corrupt ideas of righteousness...

how many fucking eons have we been on this planet?

coming back over and over to set the record straight


and each time we fuck up so thoroughly

it makes you wonder what the hell God was thinking


when this creation was set up in the way it was...


you want me to bless and forgive you?

fat chance as long as you hold the blade of your evil


against my throat and have the nerve to think you deserve forgiveness....







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ANYWHERE BUT WHERE I AM

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I gave plenty of warning

but none heard

(including myself...poisoned with the notion

that we can do something about the harm of the world

and our stupid miscreant souls)


live tight in your bubble and be grateful

you suffer no more than you do...

my silence joins the rest of creation

in the Void that conquers all....






Content (c) 20080213 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

FINISHED?

when your productive life is done

and the decline becomes steeper

with each passing second


you'd be more inclined to accept

your time has passed and you're ready

to move on to whatever it is we move on


the only problem is even though we are finished

God is never finished with us...


it takes more strength to endure a long slow death

than it is to live life at full vigor


because our punishment is to live in this hell we call the world


and I for one am useless now...and would be lucky to find

a way to keep alive until this 'god' is done with me....





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TERRIBLE POWER

one man's salvation is another man's downfall


but whose to say where grace most abounds?

in the downfall that opens gates to some redemption


or in the closed case of a finished perfection?


grace is useless if it does not prevail

and if you must be cleansed of error


before grace is bestowed then why bust your ass?

love and do what you will


that's all you can control...

the rest is the dangerous whim of God


who loves us but evidently not quite enough...

that's a lot of struggle for an allegedly "free gift"


but who are we but creatures contingent


on the whim of terrible power we call 'god'





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AMBITION'S ROTTEN FRUIT

to get on top

you must sink to the bottom


for eons

we've heard this


and for eons

we've ignored this


thinking "no...

that doesn't apply to me"...


try telling someone

they're wrong


try confessing and see

what sympathy you get


we're all little kings and queens

sitting atop on bottom-heavy thrones


and we wound up there

by everyone else mischief


no...we think...it's never us...

and there...right there...our Oneness


makes liars of all of us...

there is where we see for ourselves our true state


or blind ourselves with the mirrors

of our delusions...I've yet to see where


I'm really at...where are you my confused fellows?





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