stress fades

at least for the moment


I've given up childish notions

of making a difference in this world


I accept the tragedy

the daily circus of heartache


and while I find this moment golden

the next might find me swamped in dross


and though it may take a while

for this body to divest


its bad habits and wounds of failure

still may their intrusions come


less and less...so longer and longer

moments of peace and clarity may prevail....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I want to die

I want to live

it's all a lie

I try to forgive


though my mind

is caught in its tether

I'm happy to find

I know better






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm no better

than you my brother


I too know the deal

and despite that


I too still look

for some way out


must be some sadness of flesh

must be some weakness of mind






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the hoax of freedom

is the most harmful fallacy

we face in life


there are no alternatives

despite what breaches of action

our choice make...


there is only this single reality

and what you make of it

within the vectors of its processes


this single reality in which all is consumed....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you have seen the way to go


if you take off in a different direction

then you'll have nothing to say at all


even though you'll say "help me...I'm lost...."





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

RIGHT UNDER YOUR NOSE, PAL

if it is a new world you want


know it is already in existence...

you in your instant to instant


moral choice do not build it

but rather you realize it is there


and surrender at last

to it...and there


find yourself in what you wanted....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ALL IS HERE AND NOW? THEN WHERE ARE YOU?

no more can we hope...

there is no right action


every move we make

is tangled in falsity and defeat...


and those so desperate

to be positive and grateful


never get it that it is not for this world

but for the unknown one beyond this one....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

AMERICA THE FINISHED

America...

supposedly the New Jerusalem

supposedly the Light

leading the whole world to Liberty...


now

sinks down into its own

dark grave of ignorance hate

and pride...


so long to yet another myth

that has seen its time pass....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

what does one expect

when one tries

to talk sense to idiots?

shock? that one is as foolish

as they for trying?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

INTO THE VALLEY

Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BEFORE THE LEAVING

one last look at sunset

presages one first look at sunrise


for those who won't forget

for all that lives nothing dies....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

GARDEN

the more my love lies hidden

the stronger it grows


in the hothouse of our living home

a fragrant garden unfolds


every seed we planted

sprouted to full bloom


and sprouted further seeds

to regenerate our room


and here where our love is hidden

here it is most fecund

and all the powers are bidden


and all process surges every second

to deliver the roiling life

that opens the hidden love rich and ripe....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ALL DESTINATIONS

wherever I go

I find myself here


oh


that's something

everybody knows


but


are always surprised

of which to be reminded....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

TRACKS AND TRACKS

Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

having spent a long time here

it's become easier to spot

the maniac and his hell

or the precious with their defenses


and rather than choose

and perhaps insult a hidden angel

I'll deal with whoever crosses my path

but how remains to be seen....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THOUGHTS DURING A CONSTITUTIONAL

the ordinary day

surrounds my morning walk


people nod on their way

or linger a moment to talk


and then the moment passes

and the morning continues on


lasting until noon passes

and nothing that's past is gone






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I feel as if Baby Huey

were lifted off my shoulders

and the oversized duckling

waddles off his own way


and strangely I feel like

following him

just to see how he got over

for so very long....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

silent

and


listen

have


the

same


letters










Content (c0 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

oh Isis to my Osiris

put me back together


love me until

we come and repopulate worlds


you found me from out

of my South Node


my sign of bad karma

for what we had been


I'm ready to be forgiven

I'm ready to be loved


I've paid for my sins

over and over again


and I need to peek under your veil

to live and love you again....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I've played the fool so often

that I might as well be a clown


fools may be symbols of wisdom

but clowns know nothing and say...the fuck with it






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

my dying is not as quick or as soon

as I thought it might be


but as it approaches there's much left to ruin

and just as much to redeem...


I know it will come upon me unsuspected

in that last instant when I shall see


the harm to be paid for and the good detected

and nothing as horrible as it seemed





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

all my loves haunt me

like half-forgotten sights

of childhood glimpsed

in the instant of passing

but as permanent as any memory

I've carefully cultivated


all my loves have passed me by

but none of them are gone





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you echo through the years

like the last pings of a lost flight


I tread shallow waters here

dive deep into the depths there


and nothing is found

but some final impulses


shimmering through waters

I know but cannot navigate....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

how exactly we resemble our enemies...


evenly matched

hater and hated


exchange blows

each equal in pride...


to tell either they err

is to ask for trouble yourself


you who wrestle with your own double

and shouldn't say a word....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

out of nowhere

you return to mess my mind

to race my heart

to drain my life of its strength


oh how our vanities

shape our very souls

I am blank smooth clay

and you carve in my features






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

EASTER

wraeccas crowd a square in Rome

beseeching the Liege to allow them return

to the home and fellowship

they left for torments in the world


their abandonment of the Way

they thought they were seeking

is more easily forgiven than they

can imagine...


they will be shown mercy

they will be taken back...

but not without their own crucifixions

and not without repenting of their worlds


and only by their own movement back to their source

only by their own will-less effort to attain their selfless self....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the road was hard

and I've come to report


life is long

but time is short








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

let all the idiots of this sad old world

do their harm and think they're doing right


sooner or later we all face our accounting

and a brief respite readies you for your next misadventure






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

CONSEQUENCE

Saturn has crushed my entire life

the unrelenting unforgiving vengeance

of the Lord...or as some of us know it to be...

Newton's opposite but equal reaction


the very cause and effect

that demands redress with every action we make...

oh I'm not wasting words anymore

we all find this out eventually


cursing and blaming some imaginary god

of our own creation or stuck paralyzed

in our own impotent in the face of our errors...

the hopeless cry of pain in the throes of consequence


Saturn may gouge its price but I don't care

I'll just shit on creation and go beyond the stars....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

TIME'S ALMOST UP AND IT'S ABOUT TIME

how soon until the futility

will stop and a release

will be mistaken

for a freedom


but it won't matter

any kind of change

will feel like a new lease

especially after this wretched run







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

we are truly sorry for your loss

but it can only go just so far...


there's no magical heaven

from which to sneer at foes in hell


and the grave is just a door

that divides lovers for a bit


people fear death uselessly

you just slip out of your skin


and continue on without

the encumbrance of flesh


but don't expect harps and wings

as above so below


nothing will happen nothing will change

it'll be like here so get used to it....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

COMMUNICATION

try again

what?


I said try again

what?


damn it I said TRY AGAIN!

what? fry a hen?


oh you asshole!

what gold? good as gold?


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


what?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

HOW THINGS SOMETIMES TURN OUT

"He was no seeker of popularity, certainly he never

descended to any of the truckling arts to secure it, and probably

to some extent he lost favor by the high tone of both his character

and his bearing, and by the selectedness of his friendships."

--the obit of Lafayette Sabine Foster in "Memorials of Connecticut

Judges and Attorneys, as printed in the Connecticut reports, pages(s) 606-612"


This is the man who would have been acting president pro tempore of the Senate...had John Wilkes Booth's full plan succeeded...that is to say, the assassination of Lincoln, Vice President Andrew Johnson and Secretary of State William Seward together.

And what does it matter ultimately anyway?

As ever, our salvation hangs nailed to a cross, and as ever, the mob always screams for Barabbas.




Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

will this New Age

be any better or different

than the age now past and gone?


given human nature

and our purpose in transcending

this domain that makes us think


we are all masters...I myself

wouldn't wager a bet....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

this is the veil

we peek behind

that drives us

violent and insane


blinds us beyond

our senses

and leaves us to die

all over again...


don't take any bows

you know you cannot


see God's face and live...

nor can you spy on Isis


and expect your hard-on

not to wilt....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

oh sure

we're all in this together


that's the sin and the shame of it...

the ones who know a thing or two


are hated and held back

by proud morons who take


everything in creation

as a personal insult


to their own failings of faith...

oh you think you're so much better than us


yeah...like that's a stretch...



those who obey the imperative

to strive for the only Union


are undone by the fearful and

ignorant who in their stubbornness of heart


keep every single one of us back...

our Oneness being such...


and how we'll ever find enlightenment

is a mystery beyond any notion


that would pity or excuse it....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

teaching is hard

and learning is hard


master and pupil striving

each to support the way






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you can always tell

how young one is

coming into one's own


so earnest and noble

soon reduced to whining

and grousing about what


the older rest of us know

as the human condition....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

egos suffer in creation


control freaks in a place

where they have no control....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

how do I like it?

frankly I don't


I feel cheated...betrayed

beyond what I can say...


but then why complain?

we'll in the same leaky boat


and if each withholds his familiar tale

we can join our hearts together and bail....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

not a single one of us

can do or say anything

that would countermand laws of physics

or act outside the vectors of force


and those who to do so

they do so to their own harm

but unfortunately to the harm of the rest of us...


we are One...like it or not....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

waking in the wan morning

I arise touched and muttering

my true unutterable Name


and though the instant passes

I'm still vacant in my skin

and I may be transformed


and transfigured but as yet

to know to whom or what or why....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I have been through so many

'dark nights of the soul'


that day seems like a dream to me


and here I am emerging

from yet another 'dark night'


as if I were punished for my good

as well as my bad in this


bleached out day of desolation





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

there is no pity or mercy

for who stumbles outside the box


only the bitter regret of wishing

one had stayed in bounds and did not


take on experience and knowledge

beyond one's capacity to handle


there is no pity or mercy

for the fool who thought faith would really move mountains






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I wish it were my imagination

but what I see now exactly what is


and it's not the childish faith

in some bogus human-projected religion


and it's far beyond the cosmic vasts

pulsating with black holes and stars


it is...as has been put...childhood's end

and each of us imprint those energies


I wish it were my imagination

but no...every force exerts

an equal and opposite force (as we know Newt)


and we have no control or power

beyond joining with the processes

or abstaining and being consumed in the dross....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

there may be a change

there may not be


there may be hope

there may not be


there may be blessings

there may not be


there may be death

but that at least will be






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

every act of life

leads us to where we are now


and still we bemoan

all we should have done and didn't


all we wanted to do but couldn't...


what do we not get?







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

love and forgiveness of our enemies?


love of another as one's self?

yeah we heard rumors to that effect

it complicates everything...

oh how I miss the days

of unreflecting rage



to smash who stood against us...

it was always bullshit of course

but we didn't know better...

ah to come to this pass...


to be nostalgic for one's sin

back when one had juice enough to sin....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

love is hard and cruel

as vengeance


at least to those of us who beseech mercy

but on our terms







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

there is no stop

to what you're doing


striving under the One's eye

there is no rest until reunion





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I said it so many times

I mumble it in my sleep

the higher the climber climbs

the closer he can see in the deep



when he finally lifts off the mountaintop

then higher will be as low as low

and the next dimension where he'll stop

will be the next ascent to where he'll go....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

a fresh idea

in some busy mind...


how many inventions

and philosophies


occurred to men perched

at stool...


(shows you how little regard I have

for these enterprises...the fools....)





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the flesh will always call


and the spirit will turn

the aging body's ear inward


beyond memory of its start in the world

to hear again the roar


of the fire from whence it came....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

what I say next

depends on where I end up

and if I die with no more to say

well...is that such a bad thing?





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

creation is a hard cold deal

much like its Creator


and if all is here and now what can I say

about fucking it all until later?







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'VE BITTEN OFF MORE THAN I CAN CHEW...WHAT DO I DO NOW...PUKE?

I've been transformed

I'm something new


I've awaken from some childish idea

of God as good and merciful


if that's your level the maybe

it really works for you


but I wondered outside the box

and the weight of awareness is oppressive







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

that's absolutely nothing

your heart can command


we're all at the mercy

of some higher power


and it will not be mocked

and it demands obedience


in short it is us

in its most virulent form







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you trusted and got fucked

welcome to the club


we hold dice every time we

make some deal


well if you're waiting for some thunderbolt

to take your enemies down


hang your head real low

so that lightening won't take you down too....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

there's nothing new to start

because it's already underway


you look to improve your heart

but it won't relinquish its sway


the process is ongoing

and this life is just a pause it seems


on its way to some transcendence blowing

through your mind like a dream







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. Al rights reserved.

taking the long view is tough

when you can't see the end of your current run

nor imagine (recall) what comes afterward...


just know this single life

is part of All That Is and all you thought

you could evade will come before you


when you least need or want it

and you weren't escaping or getting away

with anything...maybe you'll grow very old


and if you don't get tired of living in the world

and lose the thread you'll start to think

you'll live for ever...well you do and when the cord is cut


and that door opens you'll flee this life like the

proverbial bat out of hell...that long view just an always now





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

who’ll cry the loudest will have the most to lose

while those with little will quietly accept the award of their dues






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

do you even know

the scope of what

you have it in you to do

despite the advancement


of your age and the

diminishment of your time?

if it is worth the doing

then it will be for the good


of others even if you may

never be able to benefit…

and at that do you even

know the vacant vatstness


of all anyone can do

especially if it has nothing to do with you?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

who does not wish

to be immune

to the outcomes

of cosmic process?


how many believe

their earthly conscious

minds make them masters

beyond the control of their stars?


do any truly understand

what it really means to be

masters of their own destinies…

while every move they make


chains them tighter and tighter

to the very laws they try to transcend?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

unable to control

anything but myself


yet able to see

for myself


how easily I relinquish

that responsibility


I add to the troubles

of the world I bemoan


and therein reside

the numberless aspects


of pride that excuse

all deliberate harms


as mistakes to be forgiven...

such is isolation bred from vanity







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the weak are never tempted


it's the pride of the strong

who are constantly challenged


and who constantly fail to resist....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

keep your accounts straight


you never know

when an Audit


will be called....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

if I knew a 1/10th

of what I speak


I'd probably

keep silent








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I will be transformed

into myself


mystery of mysteries








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I cried over

all I wanted

that I failed to have


but that was long ago

and if I'd gotten them

they'd by gone by now


I smile wearily

to realize this now....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

a turn in the road

and you're back where you started

and every scene past

leaves you wistful-hearted

as you see them again

but through new eyes

because that is past

shows where the future lies....

Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the whole of life's

too vast


to take seriously


there are still tears

but of laughter now


what a fool


what a fool

what a fool....










Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

dry boogers

are a perk of aging


at least they're

not yet an emergency


room priority....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I sense some final diminishment


I'm descending my last peak

and the descent

though anguished and full of care

seems to grow lighter

as gravity takes over

and the sunlit peaks

shine brighter above

the descent into the shadow


the valley soft and beckoning

at the bottom of the twilight

and the youth that seems

but a moment ago

comes flushing out

into perception

and each age smoothes

into a single acceptance of bittersweet peace


in the full acceptance of night-comforted ground....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I have had it

with my time on

this craven common world


people so vicious and evil

selfish and stupid and in

conscious meanness


going out of their

way to hurt others

and proud of being like this...


and don't you dare preach

karma to me...it may be true

but it's of no immediate value


to exacerbate trouble or

to grant a healing peace

and what vainglory are you about


in preaching this easy platitude

to anybody?

we all suffer but each of us


in our own distinct measure

and I for one am tired

and tired of this endless killing floor....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

in the peace

of contemplation

none of the grief

we cause ourselves

registers as anything

but a passing mental

disturbance because

we mistook some craven

desire as peace....

Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

solitude

is the only


gift of God

worth having....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the best thing

about love that dies?


you're free

to try again....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

so I'm stuck with some soft over-refined

control-freak neurotic

who thinks a real moment of anguished expression

is some kind of out-of-control raving


no comprehension or sympathy

but self-denials measured in tonnage

and her pig-headedness will brook no opposition


sweet times have passed and we've reached our decline

(age and exhaustion as much a part of the mix

as a final throwing up of hands saying "enough!")


so ignore all your own afflictions

as your own will stumbles and meanders

whatever good we did ourselves seems past effectiveness

you're tired of my rawness and I've had it with your slanders....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I can call my shots

but that's all I can do


how it turns out

is up to you


and him and her

and them and it


I touched the heights

and they turned to shit






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

YET ANOTHER GOD-DAMNED DREAM I COULDN'T COMPREHEND

I had a dream where I was driving through

a narrow way through two small outcroppings of rock

and as I emerged a man and a woman were moving an open gate

on the right side of the way that seemed like a scripted portal


and I stopped suddenly because the way ahead was down

a steep rocky decline that would have been the ruin of me and the car


to the right was a path overgrown with flowers and grass

sun-soaked in a soft blaze that would have been easy to navigate


but I thought it would take to long to get where I wanted to go

so I looked to my left and saw a rocky road

with shattered glass like broken beer bottles littering the way

too many shards to clear away to travel upon


and I awoke and had no idea what the portents were

since every move I've ever made seemed to be the wrong one....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

EACH ONE OF US

all the vows of trust and faith

and words of love so easily used

will tarnish even the staunched heart

and leave the devoted mind confused


and nowhere can a pledge be safe

unless those who forge it stand firm

if it be false from the very start

then it no love can confirm


I swore to you an endless love

and it is for us an endless love


no matter to whom we stand in relation

what is ours is ours alone

from first fresh start to its culmination

we all are true and we are all our own....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.