THE GHOST'S LAST WORDS

I'm glad I'm dead


no more putting up

with the ignorant bullshit of my kind in the earth


the fawning sideshows of hubris and greed

and mean murderous pride


the One decided this was the way to go

learning through conflict


endless pain and no relief

I spurn this rotten brotherhood of sin


I'm glad I'm dead

I've found my brotherhood  my sisterhood


quiet at the bottoms of their graves-hood...


*


I never could tell you all

where you're at

I hate no love for people

no love for myself

and every time I was stupid enough to try to love

the One itself shot me down

if there's grace it didn't seem to be for me

I believed in fairy-tales

and now suffer accordingly


*


in this limbo between heaven and earth

I wade through the Bardos


the unrepentant ones

chained to their hungers

eternally drunken pig-fucking crackers

getting lap-dances from hot red female demons

moving their tails aside

for a thrust of spirit cock

while the Great White Fathers stand as stiffly as in earthly life

disapproving and judging when they sweat out

the same hungers


and where every light in the distance

is an optical illusion

I might as well have kept on living

if I had to endure this




*


oh the lingering illusion

the false hope of a Loving Father

tying me to another stake

driven into the mud of a grave


*


I'm fading


good




release at last?

not so good


to what will I be released

and to what will I be delivered?

another round of pain in the earth

and what remains of my love


a torment? a lesson? a payback for my own pride?


*


oh peace beyond understanding...

you surround the outsides of this domain


how does one finally arrive at that?

how does the light get in?


*


repent? on whose terms?

who decides what every whit is?


the One who weeps for us

as we stumble in this underground?


where is the mercy? the Love?

the phantom forgiveness?


*


before I died I got it!


but it made no difference

you're told to repent


but are damned for repenting

anything you do is wrong

only the One calls that shot


and a piece of the One you may be

but you are not the One entire...it's not your say...


*


wherever one goes when all on every level is here and now


I'm on my way along the Way


*

I go


you may now follow your own paths

through this unloving darkness


I cannot return (quite yet)

to tell you what I'll see


what I see will be for me only

each of us has his own vision of the Great Metempiric


and his own way through

life or death either of which is on you


maybe I'll see you on God's Golden shore

or maybe we'll meet again in misery like before


time was called and our time was up

wherever we end is all One


even in perdition

even in salvation


now even the words are beginning

to die away


I go...and you go too...


*********


Content (c) 2008-2012 Philip Milito.