I live for the ultimate time my love

will learn to absorb its suffering

into an understanding of the peace

that passes understanding


no wonder love is so crazy








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

hard hearts

breaking at last


they have finally

gathered too much weight


for their power to uphold

they have at long last


met the limit they thought

they could weld like an ax


on any but themselves










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

the less you try to do

the more gets done


another mystery of God

of which we must accommodate ourselves


try to figure things out and you'll fail

without a doubt or success


try to finally accept the Mysteries

and your comprehension will grow


somewhat clearer






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

the heart speaks for the mind

and is indistinct


the mind doesn't know what it's saying

because it listened to the heart


a hard choice indeed when you remember

how so many told you to listen


to your heart and you found out

your head was right after all









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

any moment will see me gone

at least from here in the earth


any moment will see me arrive

at somewhere else I need to remember


any moment will leave me in some quandrey

that will force me back into cycles of rebirth


as any moment could leave me clear and empty

and finally out of the loop


how I wish I knew how and why







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I am never sure of anything


that's my saving grace









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

stop churning your nerves

over how things are

let them be what they are

and look forward

to what you will become

if you become strong enough

to stop churning your nerves

and let life be what and how it is









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

God shouldn't take any bows

for this ugly plan or for creating us


asshats from the word 'go'

in a fresh world of decay


we are made in His image

so the word has always been


but I'd be too ashamed to cop to it

I'd admit the wrong and cease or try yet again







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

THE ERROR OF THE PRESUMPTUOUS

given nothing yet

given all


all that you get

will make you fall


what did you earn?

what did you take?


and how did you learn

you'd made a mistake?






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

our own notions drive us to insanity


give no thought to God or others

they make life on earth impossible


slide other the surface of the crystalline pool

that shimmers like a mirror under the sky


and be one of the deep reflections

of light hovering at the bottom opening


a different direction to your peace








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I am happiest

when I do not think of God or life or others


when the moon instead dips its tongue

down from the sky to drop dew


on my parched lips







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milio.

no forgiveness for us?

no forgiveness for You oh filthy One


we are all One after all

aren't we?





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

worshippers of God


how on earth do you begin to know

good from evil when the One is almost anything


it need be to dominate?









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

A ROUGH PROPOSITION

I feel bad for the gentle creatures


the ones who hide at a sweeping shadow

and either by sheerest fortune with survive their term


or feel the talons close as they are consumed


and join yet another order of being







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I might as well put my faith in a chimpanzee

than expect loyalty or cooperation

from any of you half-wits

who think you're just fine


until you wind up to your eyes

in your own shit-pool

of contentment and disregard


as least the chimp doesn't put on airs








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

vengeance from anyone but God will not do

but you will understand if you follow through


you will feel in your earth-bound reasoning justified

and that is where God will dismiss your entitlement as denied








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

when we talk of love

what love are we talking of?


you caging a bird

and angry with me


for releasing it?








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

you exaggerate and I must suffer the slander


but you will also face some accounting

and you too will have a tongue load


of explanation before One who's not buying it


watch what you do and doubly what you say

it may not go as you hoped after all






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

you all love just reading me

when I am constantly dying

in the center of my own

dismal lack of imagination


but longing for the ages

when I was young and fresh

doesn't quite make it either


you can only have so many visions


let alone explain any of them






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

when I die

you'll miss the loving

and all the good times


but you won't miss

the circumstances

that rubbed us raw as scrapes


on the arm of a starfish


so it will be

so much love and hate

pulling us with centrifugal force


into spasms of dark ecstasies

wilting us in the living sea's foam

so much love and hate knotted tight


in one tarnished vow






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

red clouds of night give way

to a slate gray light

through the window blinds


I awake from a pleasant dream

and only remember that it was pleasant

when I return from the bathroom


I lie down and again feel my awareness

blur into the tinged darkness of early morning







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

rain clouds gather and sweat


as drizzle gives resonance

to the damp mild night


my body gives in to its own calm











Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

dog bites

then lays down

set to rights

his turf the town


but here we come

with a heavy leash

he snarls but cannot run

how soon a reign is finished









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

unloved by all but the few who came up with me

I've learned who and what to trust


and even those who've fallen away

had something to teach


I'm having a lucid moment now

so I can comprehend


what tomorrow may sound like gibberish

or move me again to ire







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

mercy? there is none

love? what's that?

goodness? never had the pleasure


this world is our construct

we do our best to do right

and fatally stumble


when we don't and revelation

an awakening to the hard cold facts












Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I mourn eternity

now that I know

the disposition

of the Proprietor

of Creation


I want nothing more

than to rejoin the All

and that aspiration

will be the very sense of

self that will block and deny me


I mourn the human

condition that ever suffers

and never is forgiven

by our ever inadequate faith








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I'm sorry we are not of a God

who is more proactive

and less hands-off concerning

the aid we need to live


but nothing we do is perfect enough

to amend and to atone and gain grace

not even a graduated approach moves the heartlessness

of a God who is all or nothing


the old saying says "God's Will is our woe"

I wish I were settled enough in my soul

to bear this fatal view of God's so-called

love and wholeness and harmony and goodness


I'm sorry we are of God if this is how it is

where pain and suffering is considered a blessing






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

you are at your own mercy

and in your mighty ignorance

you'll worsen your lot

or in your humble wisdom

you'll own up to your harm

and begin amends impossible to realize


at once but no matter how esoteric the lesson

it's still treat yourself and others right and it will return to you







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

kind and foolish

and somehow safe from abuse


maybe there is a measure of grace

protecting the halt and the harried


that our yammering for help from above

doesn't touch because of its insincerity


we who torment the

kind and foolish






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

the space we leave when we go from here

can never be filled

but only shoved aside by the space of another being

incoming for its testing of the earth


to anyone still in the world

it will look like the same space

but everywhere you stand opens another portal

then there is no shortage of exits







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

are you fool enough to try to manipulate God?

why do you think when you die you're as far from


your idea of heaven as we here in flesh are?

give it a shot but the only one you're fooling is yourself










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

record your secret thoughts and desires


but if your privacy is violated by one

who claims to love you so 


you'll see how common are the thoughts you share

and you'll be pained by the hypocrisy


of that loved one for using it as a weapon

against you so you finally record that the reason


for love is to destroy you







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

about the hell we make of the world

there is no defence


we forget the Hand that fashioned

this earth


and we forget the Hand that fashioned

each one of us


and why bother addressing what each of us

know or at least suspect


in our minds and hearts? we can justify

no lapses in our attention


but indulge them in selfish despair after all

which sinks us more deeply


into the guilt on us for wrecking every way we could

to heel the hell we make of the world





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milio.

the simple helping hand-up

the moment of courtesy to another


the good deed unheralded and unrewarded

the recipient who rests in its quiet joy


the love that gives until the vessel is empty

only to pour yet more love


why do we mock these simplest acts mightier than war?

why do we make hash of all that is holy?


what is it about the earth that makes it so hard

to wise up?








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

go tell them I said

life has no beginning and no end


and if they believe it won't be me

they believe but the absolute actuality


of this ultimate reality itself that opened their ears










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

when change happens

it happens

so suddenly and imperceptibly

that it takes years for you

to know it happened









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

so as the daylight fades

you finally know what's for the best


you take all that's yours and go

and leave behind all the rest











Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

wrong my whole life

(or misguided at best)


my lessons have sunk in

too late to put into practice


ever does earthly life end

just as we're about to begin


but maybe these lessons flower

elsewhere in these cosmos







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

the clear light of the eternal day


what do we in our small decaying skins

know of it but for our own mistaken notions?


close your eyes and see darkness

open your eyes and see light


in your life's brief moment

what more do you need to know?


life is that basic if we let it be







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

under the setting sun

the night creatures begin to stir

their luminous eyes

flashing back your own soul

like mirrors reflecting a flashlight








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

as opportunity arises

grab it and utilize it


each instant is its own eternity

and the chance may not happen again







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

mind becoming more blank by the day

memory merges with immediate living

and forms a picture of my content

as one moment in a brief lifetime








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

HOW LIGHT

how light

the soul feels

when all the

futile trying

of life goes

and one can start

to remember

who one really is








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

TRIAL AND ERROR

trial and error all though life

to learn what death will cut short








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

THE MERCY IN THE JUDGMENT

not until I walked

under the shadow of death

did I finally get

what it meant to be alive


all of ego's will

beginning to fade

in the ruins of it's

miscalculated understanding


and all the good

I suppressed in the name

of ambition's ignorance

revives within the hardened heart and all


I regret is having needed to walk

in death's shadow to remember how to live







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I'm the last one to say

if I'll still be around by Christmas


old friends and loved ones

may have already seen the last of me


and while my memories subsume me

in agonies of all I've done wrong


it is only in dreams that I remember

good times and happy memories


the suffering wasn't all 24/7

there were grace notes that teased the spheres


and never did a time spent in my own room

fail to calm me from the hardships of our Oneness


wherever I wind up so will you

and again we will face the evidence of our loving








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

how quickly life goes when your time is up

healthy and strong one week


and the next week weak and pained

and no strength even to rise


don't disdain this news

you at the peak of your life


your own body will take you down

your own life gone like snow in the sun












Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

YOUR WILL NOT OURS

nothing forestalls

the hounds of hell

the Lord unleashes


He will have His price

even if He must crush and discard

your earnest attempts at amendment


and repentance

forgiveness is one word not in God's vocabulary










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

COOL AND DAMP

deep spring and still winter will not let go









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

so this is how I'm going to die


at the mercy of morons

at the hands of idiots


I'm supposed to love

as my brethren


but this life blinded me

to the supposed holiness we all share


all I see are beggars and whores

and no real humility in them


because they are busy

manipulating guilt in the soft


outlooker who averts his eyes

in guilt and fear


and I will die by these hands








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

nothing is vouchsafed

nothing is granted


you take your shot

and you won't know


if you've made it

until all things pass


and you'll find in amazement

you still have consciousness








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

TOTAL CHANGE?

I didn't realize my death

would take so long

and fix nothing in the long run


but Bauderlaire knew what I was

talking about when he wrote

"man be damned and live"


alright then...let's put this spiritual stuff

to the test and try a total change of mind....







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

CANCER PATIENT IN AMERICA

I will die

of these arrogant bastard's

protocols

before my complaint takes me down


all of them talk like used car salesmen

(God forbid they give you full disclosure)

and their moron staff

forgetting to inform you of your next appointment


(don't even get me started on trying

to talk to your doctor rather than his assistant)

and your prognosis

and guess after a multitude of risk/benefits


poisons disguised as medicine

and I'm reminded how once I said I'd rather die in the street

than in a hospital...I may yet do so....










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

CHAGRIN

with the welcome refreshment of a breeze

comes all the promise of renewal

that a change of season announces


before however it comes you shall freeze

and wish for a hope of withdrawal

while the change rears up to pounce


but when it passes you on your knees

you'll see your fear as a small betrayal

of faith and sulk mildly into the fields of your play


chagrined in the sweet breeze covering your day







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

pliant and accepting

as a saved soul


does the body become

as it gets old


how quickly it falls

when it comes


and all the past

is now your present








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I was thinking about my idea of heaven

run by the raging evil of my own false idol


how sad my consciousness must be to engird

and sustain this poor human constuct








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

DISCUSSION

I tell you the truth

you hear lies


but I disdain my fictions

and you embrace your fact


what translation

satisfies?









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

if I were any happier


I do believe I'd be carried off

on a stretcher


to the savage god who loves me so











Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

screaming baby

in the downstairs apartment

(the mother oversensitive

and once requesting

we don't flush the toilet

after 11:00 PM)


she has something else

to keep her up

night and day


ha how sweet


not that I rejoice in my enemy's troubles


but ha how sweet






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito

I'll bet you're sorry

you treated me cheaply

my friend


but your uncompleted

film projects

were just the playing


of a dying man

trying to think he accomplished something








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

day grows darker

colder too

april 6

the missing spring

hides

in the bak

of trees








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

God must have loved at one time

someone must have treated Him

badly enough for Him to be driven

to the hardness that He shows His creation


no wonder no one likes Him

who needs to offer love and be treated like shit

only to be small enough to give it back


but then forgiveness was never His strong point










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

IMBECILES JUST THE WAY GOD LIKES THEM

everybody needs to be led by the hand

no one can think for themselves

(whatever they may think they are about)


why do I waste words on you?

you won't even listen to a wise loved one

preferring to moo in the moonlight


to the one who'll squeeze your teats

and leave them dry while you shout hosannas....








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

the fruit of action

is its own reward


enjoy your harvest

before the cold and dark


descends on your table











Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

CONDUCT

wills

clean and empty

as machinery

tuned to their function

and heartless

beyond measure


and the noble lies

of cowards and syncophants

making allowance

for these moral-less

psychotics and presuming

to cover all of themselves in judgment


and that is exactly how

judgment destroys us all






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip milito.

MY FINISH LINE

closer I get to my finish line


the more I'm baffled

the more I'm frightened


and yet some bizarre calm

envelopes this anxiety


it's as if a soldier on a firing squad

has made peace with his choices


may he be the one to still me when I cross over






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

you have no say over anything


you make your move

and hope for the best


you make your move

and the rest is out of your hands










Content 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

ALL NEW

all new

and

all blue


my life

is

in the home stretch


and I dare not

be a betting man







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

IMPORTANT QUESTION

if daylight savings time

makes people all tired and clumsy


what does it do

to vampires?














Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

THE CURRENT STATE OF THE WORLD

feeling happy?


see a doctor


(or at least

share what you're holding....)














Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

OLD AGE AND ILLNESS

oh the common

complaint unfixable


"oh woe is me

woe is me


I must ask my bowels

permission to leave


the house"


well at least there is the old Kao....







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

APRIL FOOL'S DAY

just how is

this day

different

from any other?















Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.