to be alive is no gift of joy


to praise this evil disgusting God-Of-No-Forgiveness

is to see you and Him die the final eternal deaths all they deserve


I'll never know why this god is evil and unforgiving

that God is ever ready to punish us but never ready


to life a finger to help but sadly that is the sadness under which

we are to find our repentance and the end of our repentances


to be alive is to hope hopeless






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

THOSE WHO CRAVE EVIL AND POWER SHOULD DIE WITH THEIR FAKE GODS

I have much anger to surpass and of which to cleanse myself...


too much pain I must dial with

and too much pain that God will not forgive me for...


so I will love and do the best I can

and if that's not enough for this psychotic god then fuck 'im


I didn't ask for this Asshole's agenda

I want the paradise I was promised


and if god almighty is against it let him rot in the hells

of His followers






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

god is disgusting beyond measure


go ahead you spineless thatch of shit

pray for your worthless soul

for this satanic scumbag to save you


He won't


it's all on us and we either make it or not

because this unforgiving tyrant

destroys us no matter what we do


go ahead...rot alone at the end of creation

You'll deserve it...You'll deserve to be abandoned...

You deserve it...demanding our obedience...demanding we love You


with our whole being...the endless fucking nerve of You...

didn't it occur to You if You weren't such an asshole


You'd have had us from the get-go? You asshole...You eternal filth....?








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

without the cumbersome identity

one can see the bird and bee

and the granite and air of our reality

and through it to the length of infinity


let eternity coax us to rest

finding the root of our being at last

without the cumbersome identity

we at long last find what it is to be free






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

WREACCA'S (AT LONG LAST) FINAL GOODBYE UNDER A CLOUD-HIDDEN MOON

I disaffiliate...


I will be Wreacca

for as many lifetimes

as the One will have me

be so


more's the pity that this

wretched plan is left on us

but then...I disaffiliate...see you wherever....










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

GOD'S POOR PLAN AND HIS WORSHIPFUL OUTCASTS

always wondered how the end

would play out


common demogauge

supported by the very downtrodden


he has used and betrayed

because they really are that dim and stupid


I'll deal with whom I love and live with

and the rest can go to their own hells







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

the masses of idiots

whom God allows to romp

have finally destroyed the

gift of life God has bestowed


nothing to do now

but find your hiding place

pray for yourself and watch at last

the long death of the Great Year


as God itself would have it










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

AT ANY INSTANT

no day is totally restful and restorative


lest comfort weaken us into our stunted imaginations

we need that kick in the ass to stay as honest with ourselves


as we possibly can and even then I'd be inclined to take no bows

accept no praise and believe no one's well-meant but wrong idea


of me...all we have is ourselves and each of us have his own...

alone or in mate-hood the struggle to Enlightenment will continue


delivered  at any instant by the eternal here-and-now of the only Reality this is....








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

AFTER ALL THIS HARM

now after all this harm


can I break free enough from myself to lose

the deluded crap I hauled on my back


like a farmer whose shit wagon broke down?

and what was I trying to fertilize that I thought would make


a difference while others unknown to me handled it?

prayer and worship run the risk of being selfish


but after all this harm what way left to go?












Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

HERE'S A HOLY TESTAMENT FER YA

if it's heaven you want start looking at other soothsayers

or mystic poets for your excuses


if it's time to call an end to all the horrors we thought

were of such import and definitive consideration


if it's time to give up these brain stresses and postures

for the sake of leaving our identities baggage behind us


then what better time to call it quits...give up the bullshit...

say adieu to super assholes who forgot what holy testament they were about?






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

GOOD-BYE AMERICA*

there isn't very much left to say

and frankly even Gibbon said

all that could be said about empires

and all their sad common ends


welcome America to the time of your fall

you did what you had to and now the pendulum

swings back to the barbarians

who in their wretched understand can only kill what it fears






*See posting of February 20, 2016: "I never thought I'd live to see the end of the United States of America"





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

at last I can bid the mourning doves good-bye

as they coo on the fire escape


the screechy bird song at dawn

smooths into a white noise of cacophony


as the sun rises and the dreadful dreams of night

fade back into the unknowable subconsciousness


that lurks beneath every springtime creep

as fears dissolve and joy like birdsong sends its first call








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

WIDE VISTAS OF RELEASE

happy to be surrounded by morons


in the wide vistas of release


I was not denied

I had a vision of heaven


even though it rose from the turmoil

and discontent of one stupid enough


to believe in the fairy tales that everyone else

seems to kowtow before


no matter what the light of knowledge

or the sweet delusion of bedtime prayers


you face the god how ever you will

but you really don't have to...


you're morons but I've finally developed a compassion


that I hope can show you a better road than you trod....









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

BOOGIE BOOGIE BOOGIE

let the idea of god worry whomever it will


we are responsible for our own sins

we are responsible for our own salvation


you want to waste a lifetime waiting for some

mythical beast to save you then you go ahead


but don't wonder that you will fall behind

and drag your fellow souls down with you


just do what you have to do and let this god take a flyer


after all the burden is on you

stop waiting for some projection of your own weakness


to bail you out of what you know you can supersede

on your own if you just could let your infant fears fly


I hope I can live along enough in this sojourn

to enjoy the liberation from my sick Western guilts








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

a long way times a long way times a long way


equals a passage so swift as to dispute the idea of time

the slower I get as I age the faster time goes


as if there were nothing I could do

but endure the shit of some asshole's divine plan


all the responsibility is placed on us

then what do we need this asshole for?


you want to live forever? just do what you know is right


and let Hisself choke on his evil demands for love








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

if spring does visit the world this year

may it kill off all the winters to be


and if this desert is bright and dry

let the heat subsume us back to flame


that is the source








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

the riot has broken out

all over the planet


and still the Almighty says

no not yet


if not now when?

if not now when?


oh merciless Almighty

if no judgment now then when?










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

here's where the journey gets interesting


as you move forward

you see all the past

and nothing but until

you go far enough


to see a dim glow

that increases

and then...


you wake up

realize you're late


and decide why rush?

here's where the journey stays boring

you are still here you are still here


you are still here....







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I leave the world to its ruin

and take up the old commitment


to take one hard step after another

as each of us mount to paradise


good luck








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

a milky mild day arises

this February dawn


a month early but

welcome nonetheless


is this spring where

the renewal proceeds


and we enter the ground

mulch to our legacies









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

every thought

remains me

of a lost alternative

that might've played

better had I known

of its existence

and had courage enough

to pursue it

but it hasn't stopped

me from living each day

taking other routes

that themselves were

full of mischief and woe

because it doesn't matter

what you do

each day is a fresh start

each action engenders its own

fallout fortunate or no

and each evening is another night

of tears for some"what might have been"

that could have had anyone'd name on it

every thought

should tell you to give up the musing

and prepare for your next folly or fine achievement

and to know the difference





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

THE TRAVAILS OF THE DAY

the children

raucous with fresh glee

are trailed by their weary parents

(I'm sure some of the parents have regretted

not trying sodomy...)


but I've heard it said children keep you young

maybe for some but I've heard convincing arguments

to the contrary from those who cannot wait

for the wee ones to be down before a fifth of scotch

crowns the travails of the day


oh common misery known to all

this is the condition this is humanity

whose daily prayer is a sustained 'What The Fuck?'


bad off as I am I rejoice that I have no children....







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

A LUCID MOMENT

maybe I'm only having a lucid moment

and not about projecting my own pains and self-hatred

as blasphemy at some imaginary mental construct of God


but so help me I've never felt freer knowing that death

has finally come close enough to feel and smell and taste

and whatever angers may have ruined every best intention


it will be wonderful to finally know that at least for this sojourn

the mercy and love of God won't be lost in the evil of His vengeance








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

SIMPLE REALMS

we can only live in our simple realms

and do right by each other because it is right


ignore that grinning god in the dark corner

of the ceiling...it is only something that


is meant to disturb those weak enough to be disturbed

(i.e. a devil in angel dress...creepy as a clown...)


let God rage and demand the love He cannot earn

we can only live in our simple realms and do right


by each other because it is right....






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

SOMETHING NEW PLEASE

oh Lord

let what is to come

be something new

be something You will allow

to stand on its own

the very goodness You demand of us

and then deny deny deny


oh Lord

whose complexity of creation

has kept us bound

even as you put all liability

on weak limited us

and dare to keep letting our mistakes

pile sin after sin on us


without one lifted finger of help

from You (I have yet to come to terms with

Your disgusting power-madness)

I still (like a fool) beseech You Lord

send us not another edition of Your insanity but

do at last send us something that will land

something new that will finally speak well of you






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

FRETTING THE UNIVERSE

fretting the universe is a vain and useless pastime


let God do what God will

our say says nothing despite the proclamations


of the bogus man-made religions

so let the whole issue go to hell


the only holiness is 'when I was hungry you fed me...

when I was naked you clothed me...when I was thirsty


you gave me water'...the only antidote to our idea of god


is the loving and caring for each other...let the psycho try putting that down....









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

we can only trust ourselves

dicey though that be


but better than waiting on a god

who shifts his responsibility on underdeveloped us


that damns us for not managing his so-called perfection

if god keeps the books without bias then who needs him?


you know what's right...keep loving your fellow creature...

and let god forgive or die away...not our will lord but thine....






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip milito.

GOD BEING A PSYCHOPATH WHAT CAN WE HOPE FOR BEYOND OURSELVES?

in our lonesome gatherings


we abide and knowing the truth

now repent in pain for engaging a devil's idea


of God...but God allows these travesties...

He must think this evil has a place in His plan


the asshole...one tiny slip condemns us

to lifetimes of suffering


Lord what the hell is wrong with you you psychopath?








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

MAY GOD LEARN TO LOVE

well here we still are

at the mercy of a merciless god


and all our best never good enough

for this psycho tyrant to forgive


so best not to speak of this pus-hole in creation

this god who is anything but god


let us forgive ourselves and nurse our healings

let this despicable god rage for obedience...fuck him...


we will forgive each other and we will draw together

in love and if our straightening sets god of on one of his


psychotic waves of vainglorious thuggery

then by all means let the bastard suffer as he makes us suffer


god is evil and will not forgive

we are cautiously good and forgive each other...and that is what it is about....









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

the sweet heartbreak of love

welling up under so much harm

in the name of our vows and expectations


I'd rather have no memory

than to go on regretting over and over

the unkind moments when we couldn't fully


trust ourselves and lie locked in mourning

for the selves we couldn't conquer









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

REMEMBER 'YE KNOW NOT WHAT HOUR'?

it's taking an awfully long time to go


every medical event draws me to some abyss

in the churning processes of the cosmos


and I peer into the trauma of separation

body and soul sundered


then the roiling awareness subsides

and again my mortality lies in its ennui


how many times can a man say goodbye and go nowhere?









Content(c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

nowhere I want to be

and final acceptance

that God will prevent me

from ever getting there


my only dominion

a park bench

under a gray sky

no matter where I want to be







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I never thought I'll live long enough

to witness the end of the United States of America


or more accurately

how quickly it has all come to pass


all empires fall and now is our time

our world's purpose served


and the last terror here as we wind our way

through this ravening new era


and yet the upcoming empire's sad boasts

empty as a window pane on a wrecked shack


I take my leave from this square of street vendors

and the pocket terrorists every 25 feet from


each other and the Oblivious who would rather not

face or hear the shot that gets them






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

my one regret

at this moment

is that


I will not

outlive

my biographer


gossip as you please

we will all share our shame


and shake our spirit heads

in bemusement








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

leaving here will not be hard


many have gone before me

and as many have returned


and to what lies ahead

well who knows what past sins


will call for expiation? yes I'll face

a ton of that and maybe I did genuine good


somehow but vast as it is life will always

be easier that we make it


so leaving here will not be hard

and though we fear what is to come


it too will be easier than we imagine

our imagining being what will sink us


until our bogus fears are done












Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I wonder what will be

the last thing in this world I'll see


the stained ceiling of a hospice?

the fog of my earliest days?


a haze of golden sunlight out the window

or a full moon setting one last time for me?


now that there's not much time left

what to do but wonder?










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

what will happen next?


exactly what has happened before

and will continue to happen afterward


life may be vast beyond human measure

but for the range of what a soul can do here


it's not all that mysterious or enlightening

it's rather dull and predictable


stop imagining Deep Mysteries where there are none








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

my love

only the love remains


bruised abused and generally

damaged at every manipulation


of desire and all the harm done

to our pride  and our blindness


to say I'm sorry comes too little too late

yet still tugs at a hope of reconciliation


now that naked before each other

the faults of each shout louder than our explanations


for whatever end to which we've broken each other

we will hate and despise and approve and bless


our brokenness but after all my love

only the love will remain









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

the stumble at the start

the weary strides at the finish


and anywhere in-between

a life lost to endings and beginnings


rather than found in the actual living








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

weeping in the marsh

the egret stands stoic


surveying the smudged horizon

of a cotton-mist morning


before lifting itself

into flight


a blurred streak

in an unfathomable mind







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

so this is what you do to pay your karmic bill in full


even your amends and your atonements are as nothing

and so lie in your misery and let the sorrow cover you


and even then the Lord will hold your human weakness

against you...whatever follows death


I'll welcome it...better to be out of this sojourn

than to go on endlessly suffering


in the name of the vicious processes of the One's who knows not forgiveness






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I used to say

oh my Lord

help me


now I say

nothing

knowing better


wanna live forever?

be a sheep to the Eternal Wolf








Content (c) 2008-206 Philip Milito.

this world has gone to hell

evidently by the One's Will


and no good we do matters

the One has the last word on everything


why in our right minds would we suffer

the psychosis of this heartless unforgiving 'lawd'?


believe your sad fairy tales of mercy and forgiveness

if it helps you to cope


none of that for me as I stare into the empty Void

and ache over why I let myself be bamboozled


go on sheep

this wolf has had it


now empty of all belief and staring at

the unyielding nothingness





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

our love is in tatters


we've sinned against each other

with our own subjective excuses


and it is as though all we adhered to is

foolish since life changed around us


while we clung to our own ideas of love

and received the breaking for which we were bound


tatters of our poor attempts to do right


with God calling the actual shots from His metempirical totality






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

our sins are like Poe's letter


the evidence

the incriminating actuality


hidden there in plain sight

while everyone else is looking


for some other excuse to abide

well look as afar as you will


you hold the blame but none of the repentance





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

dying in a dying world

is the best excuse you can have

to say to hell with the whole fucking issue


the God of no forgiveness

the pain of no earthly relief

what more will it take for you


to drop your bogus identity and face

once and for all the hollowness of the Void









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

we are most ourselves

when we accept

our places as nothing but

glorified cogs

in an infernal machine






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

the works of humanity

are sculpted sand dunes

where somebody laid down

his bones for a transitory blessing






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

coming clean doesn't mean saying all there is


so must it be between you and the One

that all else is fakery


the One knows all but your fellow sufferers

deserves no extra shake


they aren't any different or less perfect

than your fellow assholes or you yourself for that matter


and this is how our Oneness does each of us down






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

those who come in the name of the Law

may take what comfort afforded


but the god is still is maniac

as far as love or meaning will have it


so ignore your childish beliefs

if we indeed love and we do what we will


and the god awards accordingly

it still is useless to do anything but tend to our own business









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

life so tediously ambling

(so much for a vital adventurous god)


that the universe stops being a thing of wonder

and waters itself down to a personal grudge


with Life-As-Is

(the tiresome worship of superstition)


but of course it's all our fault

as the god rampages  on those who won't praise him


for being the eternal asshole







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

yes you'll kill me yet

it's your avowed purpose

it's the reason you live

to do me down

every chance I get to repent


be stupid enough to repent

and see for yourself

how God will ignore you

as if you never were

you must know it's true


because you direct your caustic

mouth in my direction and expect me

to capitulate to your bogus sense of self

denying you is what I live for  denying you is just reward







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

ESCAPING THE PRISONS OF SELF

lives past and lives to come


what does it matter if all is

eternally here and now

in the only reality?


any instant will spark

the transcendence that

triggers Enlightenment


and release you back to the All


you will be as you are until

the personality you are

falls away like sand through clutching fingers


and you will be what you truly are

and your prayer will be a beacon to those

inching their own way to release from their own prisons of self






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I have faced myself and lost

now I know I am done








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

SNOW AND KEITH JARRETT

I have just come in from a walk in the snow


now with hot chocolate and Keith Jarrett yowling

in the heights of a particularly strong passage


I ponder the life I've lived

vacant and full of sensations gone


that now constitute memory

and realize if this is the last snowfall of my life


I'm grateful to have come this far






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

IN THAT VACANCY OF EXISTENCE

do you wish to change your life?


you'd need to destroy everything you are

to dispel the illusions of self

that have kept you chained

to your mistaken sense of self


and in that vacancy of existence

there is no one but you


even God will leave you there to suffer

since God's decree is to teach us with suffering


if Jesus could scan the empty sky from his cross

and say 'Father why have you forsaken me?"

are you really deluded enough to think

your ordeal would be a cakewalk?


endure this and your life will change your wish








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

closed to all grief


mortality soothes

making happiness

by making one realize

there's not more can go wrong


oh happies indeed

to know all imponderable sadness

will soon be at an end





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

empty of all I am


who will I be next time

in the earth


who will I be the next time

God demands


I pay for sins but have no recourse

to mercy and forgiveness


then again empty of all I am

I could care less


you love and do what you will

as given


and if that's not good enough

for the Almighty


well isn't that too damn bad








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

we are utterly alone


learn to appreciate this

learn to glory in the life force

flowing unstintedly

through our beings

we are utterly alone


but life is myriads of souls


alone together







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I'm dying and cannot

forgive god for his lack of forgiveness


if all responsibility of conduct

and all liability be on us


then live and do what you will

stop worshipping the worst tyrant of them all


you might wind up 'saved'

over those of us who prayed to god and got nothing


but shit in our mouths







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

black ash

around the brazier


too often

have we lamented


to a god who could

care less about us


so love and do what you will

it won't matter anyway






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

DICE-THROW

well who was I then?

what am I going to be?


I can't even begin the foolishness

of idle speculation


all I've done is my content

all I will do is my dice-throw


maybe discarnate I will see more clearly

the vectors of grace we ignore


as we inhabit a skin that has shunken

shamefully impaled on those lines


of force losing definition

as the withering bag of flesh


acquiesces to its dwindling but still with gratitude

for and ability to toss those 7s








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

soon the tears will stop

oh beautiful child

a month out

brand new human


how I wish I could

protect you from

the harms your mother

and father will pass along


the twisted quirks

of personality fixing your way ahead

but soon you will be fed

and burped and put down for the night


and the tears have stopped

the child sleeps preparing for another hunger









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

IT'S REAL NOW

it's real now

the approaching end

the release from the earth


no longer the whining posture

of and over a discredited personae

and whatever foolishness that invokes


(the poetry ground down by the years)


but I would not worry now

consequence has shaped me

and frankly I'm more than ready


for any fresh start







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

defeated

over and over

defeated

until it was finally

made second nature


to my brain but

defeat with few injuries

is cause for gratitude








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

ANOTHER WAY TO BE GONE

my imagination has died


no surreal cliches

no sky's on fire

no flying octopi

swooshing out of

Breton's mind


no desire to

see more than the tree

or catch the resonance

of other curtains of auroras

above every pyramid


in the occult's directory


my imagination has died and now

I can see the unreality of the daily world






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

NO CHEATING ON THE TEST

one day I'm calm and functional in the world

the next day I'm raving in pain to the silence of the stars


for what end am I scheduled?

for what will I do any amendment accepted by the psycho god?








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

there is so much to life I feel

abstracted from because God is at best some

impossible unforgiving bastard

and we all at the mercy of this tyrant


I don't know how many more incarnations in the earth

before I can accept this tyranny for what it is

but I love consciousness  and to say alive I must

find a way to accept "Lawd' as the heartless consciousness


that is at the bottom of this existence

this cruel joke of love and mercy and grace and forgiveness

from which there is no escape

would I could symbolically cast these living horrors to imagination


as feeble and as broke as this miserable disgust

to create the tritest monsters the subconscious could respectably uphold





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

well here I am

trounced by the same fools

I've dealt with before

but I guess 'da Lawd'

was satisfied enough to forgive


well enough of that psychotic bastard

He blames all on us

for His miserably wrought creation

so be it (asshole) let us rise to the occasion

if it's all on us


and if 'Lawd' won't forgive

then let Him be alone at the end of creation

let us look to one another's welfare

let us do what 'Lawd' will not do


psycho tyrant that He may be






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

FOOLPROOF

all life changes

in every instant


but the one intractable

is idiots


idiots never change

and worse never weaken


the evil are hatchet men for 'da Lawd'

and like the rest of His shit who really needs it?






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

sunlight gleams on the ice

the snow horizons

as hard as granite

(as least at this temperature)

cover all directions


but even in this bright frigid day

you can feel the warmth of the sun

on your face



at 93 million miles away

imagine if the sun were any closer


what excuse then not to live?








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

birds huddle

together in the branches

or in the hollow knot

of the tree


feathers enfolded

to keep the heat

against the brutal

cold outside








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I can write

as quickly as

you can read


but you don't

read much

so to whom


do I address

what I write?








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

everything slips away

I let it all go

none of it did me

any good

when I had it

and I feel no different

now that it all is going


sometimes you're ahead if you break even









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

frozen in bewilderment

in a polar world of excuse


the sheen on the icy pond

blinding you to excess


so you keep trying to thaw

and as the ice thickens around you


you fall over and float down the Arctic Current

sightseeing the east coast of the United States









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

WEATHER PREDICTIONS IN A CHANGED CLIMATE

the full brunt of winter

has come to us

in increments


one huge snowstorm

check


one huge arctic blast

check


now can we finally have spring?








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

peace

silence

eternity


and then

the instant

passes


and you're

ordinary again







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

here is my silence


in tune with the distant white noise

of daily traffic

a barest whisper through the frozen glass


here in this warmth

is the focus of a greater reality

than I could describe and I am happy


to stop trying to explain it








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

a stand-off in the freezing golden day


the hint of spring

sweet through the bitter cold


buds already appearing

while late winter holds the heart


in its icy grip as the warmth of hope

gets a work-out here in the abominable



conditions of the living






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

o Lord of all and everything


You can have it


none of this grief

was worth Your utter lack


of mercy and forgiveness

have Your vengeance


I'll just do what I know is right


and You can do as You please








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

we still in the earth

who fret every move

regardless of how much of it

is beyond our control


are viewed with sad bemusement

by those beyond this

who know right and wrong

as meaningless soul-choking


getting in the way of exactly

what we would transcend









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

when all pain ends

then I'll know

I've transcended


in the meanwhile

I'll accept

no substitutes







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I followed your tits

down the avenue

and bumped into a surly man


he was ready to pound me

until he saw what I was checking out

and we both of stood there like brothers


watching this ample angel

spread her simple charm








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

we all know

death can come

at any moment


but I don't give a damn

I'll close my eyes

and either consciousness


will continue

or that will be nothing and how

would I know otherwise?


cling to your fears

and sink into perdition

with them


or say the hell with it

and find yourself enlightened...I guess....






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

if you loved me any more than you do

I'd die of capitulation

to a harpie looking only for another fool

to shit on his food and leave a stench in the air






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

oh what a long hapless journey

with an end in sight that is

ever receding into an infinite distance

that any enlightened step at any time

could deliver me from and carry me to….






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

yes I believe in God


you ask how I could

given the travails of my life


and I'd just say

are you kidding me?


don't you see how I suffer

if it's pastoral scenes of lions and lambs


you want you better rethink your position







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

condemned by my own hand

reprieved by my own hand


over and over life after life

until by my hand


I deliver myself from needing

to go forth ever again


into the creation that makes

wreaccas of us all








Content (c) 2008-20016 Philip Milito.

A HAPPY HOUR OF ONE'S OWN

how good to get home and close the door

double-lock it and let the world -at-large

swallow healthy doses of your shit


while you get comfortable

(out of your daily uniform

stretch a little and unwind and maybe even


pour a drink or fire up a dube

(as you choose) and just for a few hours

say aloud "To hell with God and His shabby plan"


and all your fellow asshole creatures can join Him

you've suffered to no relief but exhaustion

you've done more than your share and still


all God knows how to do is harry you unmercifully

but for these few 'eternal' hours all of that goes aside


how good to get nice and renew yourself for insufferable life






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I should be dead by now

the ravages of my body finally

catching up to my wild spirit


and yet ruined as I am

my health is still somewhat strong

this body whose strength shoved all pains aside


still I endure and can only wonder

what worse fate God has for me






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

UNFREE

keening in the high winds

of a bitter cold night


some ghost still haunting you

as you gaze out the window


at glistening snow in the moonlight

and you tense suddenly at the snap


of a branch or some creaking of the cabin

the voice of all ghosts haunting you








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

each of us think of ourselves

as lonely guerrillas

fighting off some implacable enemy

from our lone stand


what if each of us realized

how many like us there are

truly a rag-tag army of divided

righteousness always missing


the strength we'd have if we knew to band together








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

SO SIMPLE WE CAN'T HELP BUT BOTCH IT

keep setting in the west

so you may rise again in the east








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

don't moan to me


I told you the world would end up like this

with humanity reduced to being


ravening wolves tearing each other apart

and who help those stuck in the way


but while you panic I lie here numb

everything we feared so inevitable it's almost like


a blessing in disguise






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

hens in my corn

sheep shitting up my driveway

bull kicking against the corral fence


farmers tend to do the heavy lifting here

and get left with nothing

as if the Devil's HQ is Monsanto


and the god who cast this miscreant into the earth

looks the other way on the advice of its lawyers







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

body and soul are holy

though we are taught otherwise

by the Religion Police


who see a variation between

the ideal and its practical applications

that worship itself comes between


all of us and the Source of Life

makes me hope I'll be there to watch

this set-up dissolve in the reality


of our sad hopes of some worldly fulfillment

drained away into the illusions that constrain us

oh what pure horseshit this divine plan


that demands our slavery to an unloving source

that kills us even as we plead for mercy





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

salvation depends on one thing:


whether you're ready willing and able

to own up to the smell of your own shit


and how well your sense of spiritual

hygiene allows you to clean up


after your session perched on

the worldly potty of recriminations


the war of laxatives and binding agents







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

keep poking a docile animal


and you will unleash its violent

core


whatever gave you the idiotic idea

that you


could change the nature of anything

by applying


endless caustic to an unhealing wound?

all germs


are at the defense of this poor animal

just hanging while


your ritual cures do nothing but honor your smallness

while our animal strikes its blow then


withdraws









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

follow me out of this hole


I cannot guarantee your safety

that's on no one but you


but I can tell you a little bit

about poisonous plants


and animals you should not hunt

for game or sport follow me


out of this hole then you are on your own


and how many of us are not

and was there ever a time we weren't?

I'm ready for nothing


perhaps that's for the best


it keeps the hands empty

for what will fill the heart







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I envision burning red skies

raining down charred bones

upon fleeing congregations

whose gods failed them


I find myself roasting

in a dug out where my own skin

blisters under the weight of heat

that would crush hell itself


I don't know how to tell

the distant voices trying to roust me

that I cannot tolerate this situation

but must because it is required


I look God squarely into His serpent eyes

and say 'ready when you are' as if anything else were possible








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

hi-dee-ho indeed


go ahead

play the fool for parties

or demonstrations

or any other occasions


that feed your pitiful need






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

whatever identification I had with my fellow souls

got lost in the absolute debasement

that all earthbound souls must undergo


(let's not even bring God into this discussion

as given His Will is our woe)

but I don't care anymore


I mean how could I

if we're all at the mercy of destruction?





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

imagine telling someone your deepest secrets

and you find out they not only spilled them

but also kept the juicier one for themselves

casting themselves as heroes in the adventures

of imbecility they see as some kind of earthly glory


Christ Almighty! why must I be One with these

casually murderous ignoramuses?

if this being One in God then what the fuck are we doing?









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

truly


when are you going to die?

when will the earth catch a mere breather


from the blind souls who drive your rage

and let you pass (even if it


is only to make room for the next tyrant

who's learned absolutely nothing


between lifetimes?)








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

lazy stupid venial non-entities

pull us all down because by our Oneness in God


all these miscreants do

will upset the best intent of suffering souls


strong enough to endure

the suffering that the One has mandated as a condition


thank you all you sad simple murderers

being one in God with you is like being dead







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

VERGE OF LEAVING

a ghost walking around

in a timeless space

between the furniture

and the breach in the wall

a tear in the fabric

that a human eye

cannot see

what do I do now?

go on

or go back?

how could it matter

with time gone

and the space

just any place anywhere?

and me being the ghost

still not sure

what was lost or gained

from the time and place

I'm on the verge of leaving?






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

RAINY DAY

rainy day

dark room

people gone by

crowd around me

yes I remember you

no I don't remember you (sorry)

yes you I made a point to forget

all your stares peer out from

the woodwork

as if you all were

physically present

and what then?

enjoy the memories?

harry old wounds?

just look at each other

each to each

amazed we wound up

the way we did

each on this dark day

this rainy room






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

SMALL MERCIES

if I could I'd leave this sojourn


but we are not to take ourselves out

before our appointed times


I don't give a damn whether you believe me

it's the fact that we serve our lives like sentences


from an unmerciful judge

no way around it and no way out of it


but to endure our time and be grateful for small mercies





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

ONLY ONE WAY OUT

oh the grief we waste

on mourning our departed


while they look down on us

in compassion on our confusion


detach yourself from the life

in which you inhabit in this time


when you finally know this life is not All

then you will hear your departed whispering to you


only One way out and it won't be the horror

you have been taught it will be


I don't care about the imaginary 'mass of humanity'

we are taught to believe in


we are each a part of a mighty whole that only your fear

and ignorance will keep you locked in the earth









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

ALAN ROTH (OCTOBER 1951-FEBRUARY 2016)

it's too soon to write this

but I don't care


he (boyhood buddy) was

a master artist (one of Music and Art's finest)

a surrealist beyond what even Breton

had hoped for his movement


a lover of scotch and Southern Comfort

a knowledge of all the old movies and TV shows

on which we grew up

and many nights spent at McSorley's

(dark bock and a platter of cheese

onions and hot mustard) clearing our sinuses

while we lashed at the world

with potent tag lines


I hadn't seen him in thirty years

but at a Music and Art do a year or so ago

I got to see him fit and well despite

the cancer that he'd been fighting for so long

I was beginning to think he would wind up burying

the rest of us


but it is not to be

but sad as I am I do not mourn

like Jarry we believed in The Passion considered as an

uphill bicycle race


I hope he remembered his air pump

like Christ our race continues airbourne


for now pal o'mine

take it easy


our worldly bullshit is

no longer your concern






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

today is too nice to waste

on unforgiving gods


and fretting a future

you've yet to fashion


maybe you're frightened

and too weak to deal


but I for one will give myself a break today

as nice as the day the bastards never quite go away










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

unfit for eternity

so your enemy will let you believe


now who is this about?

God or yourself?








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

THE MERCY OF EVERYTHING

ankle-deep in horse merde

I see that template

from which springs

fresh roots and...well you know the deal...


I will wash my feet and stay

alone in my room whose window gives out

on a fading violet twilight

lighting the land in soft waves...


perhaps I shouldn't have been so haughty

but after all all of us are farmers

crops fail crops succeed

while we are at the mercy of everything


but our own abilities...unless you're wise

you'll know better than to try prophecy






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

FOLLOWED THROUGH THE AGES

wherever I move

I feel some spirit guide

trailing my shadow

 at the soles of my feet


how tiresome to make excuse

for this metaphysical mook

when I'm deep in conversation

and pulled out of it by this spook


and its lack of concern

for empathy and forgiveness

since all the bone it can pick

is all that makes me happy


but being God's henchman

happiness is not the reason to be here






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.