full circle


I walk each morning

as I did when young


not as quickly but no less

determined to strive


and each morning is a new

view of the unknown worlds


beyond this one


be assured for all the surface changes

the blueprints still posit a


foundation that endures under all form

timeless and unmeasured as these worlds


I walk beggaring all eschatologies

in the full light of permanent morning










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

no one awake in Europe

reading me at this moment


but all this will be gathered

by who can receive it


it will always be around

one way or another


lying silent until some eye finds it

and some ear begins to hear it speak








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I wanted this time to come

for most of my life


and now that it's come

there are fewer regrets


than I thought there'd be

if only because even then


I was going through the motions

knowing it would be here in a (long) instant







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE

often people who believe in God

tend not to believe in themselves








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

the torments of the body

have replaced any desire

to go and about

in the strength of youth


for youth is no longer mine

and my body betrays me

every morning I stagger

to get up and hit the bathroom


whoever I was is inside me

looking out my eyes

and uttering cruel oaths

in the view of the mirror


wishing the torments of the mind

would ease me out in accelerated time










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

happy for years

hand out to help

sublime in the shade

of an old bending tree


yet a sorrowful mood

pervades of all

the unhappiness between

these golden days of praise


for the years finally run out

and not all hands were lent

in a spirit of aid and compassion

under smudged days of lament


as for the space beyond happiness

the numb knowledge all is never what it seems








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

now what do you want

that you haven't already taken?


now what trophy to adorn your mantle

to assure you of your living?


and why oh why oh why

does this god of ours allow you free reign


as it crushes and punishes any penitent

while you act as this god vehicle of vengeance?






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

on this january 26

I stand here

in the permanent instant

and fret january 27


why?

it won't be different

(how could the eternal

be other than it is?)


and when I'm mired in

january 27

what will I long for

that will be other than the despair


of pondering god and the wondrous

paradoxes that kill us little by little daily?








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

there is no death


you can send yourself to perdition

if your hatred of God

is so intense


you can destroy yourself

if you cannot handle the inherent hypocrisy

of all these 'wondrous paradoxes'


that constitute God's 'wonderful' plan

but there is no death as such

there is no end to life


the question then becomes

are you up to this merciless trek to what end?

are you up the malignant majesty of this Supreme Psycho?


is it a good thing then if there is no death?






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

GOODBYE HELLO EH?

here at my end of time

spent in this savage butcher shop

we laughingly call the world...


I have no problem letting all the hurt

and anger and regret and despair

get behind me...


do what you will and let God

keep the tally? fine with me

we can't win here anyway...


but I at last come to my time

of aging out into whatever Great Unknown...

life continuous with or without us...


spent in this savage butcher shop

we laughingly call the world....











Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

bury the anger and the madness


it will kill you well before

you land a scratch on your enemy


accept the failure of your forgiveness

and try again to detach from the load


God would have you pay for endlessly

at least until you unconsciously transcend


and leave your enemy to his own reckoning






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

STANDARD NOCTURNE

crows on a wooden fence


the black jagged outline

of the forest's edge


in the deepening twilight

I distinguish them in time


to see them merge black into the night

and I walk home with bats


squeaking above me






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

you've taught me my place

you've put me down


and I'll be there to catch you

when it's your turn to drop










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I've passed the word


if you didn't hear it

it's no loss


I'm not sure what

I'm saying


and you seem

too stupid


to get it






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

so here I am at land's end

gray roiling clouds and wet winds

off the sea and sky


ready to go deeper

into the darkness until I come out

the other side into eternal Light


no Viking breastplate nor

a common wetsuit

as though I'd dive for pearls or treasure


just the shaky raft leading me

to what edge of seasickness

here at land's end


another fool trying to remember

what the Infinite is about and trembling....





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

pity always the dreamers…


they do not realize

they are entrusted with holy matter…


they can’t understand

they are closer to angels


than they realize and that

the real dream is life itself….








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

in the blinding light

we think we see angels approach


but in the shadow of their arrival

we see the horrid batwings of judgment


and we don't know what to feed them

for leniency's sake


and find out their idea of feed

is all the crap in our souls we'd disown


one way or another we are naked in reckoning






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

tiny feathers of snow

swirl in the cold gray air


nothing is solved

but everything is progressive anyway


I've been brought to know

life will find and take you where


your pain will be resolved

and toward that (I hope) I am on my way






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

next one knows what will happen next

but you will have no say about it


you make your moral choice

in the instant of action


then it's out of your hands

and all the strength of right you possess


will have to do to withstand

the consequence of desire







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

let us praise our heroes


the real ones

who nurse the injured


who look in at elderly neighbors

who help lost children


who stand their ground

when the World-As-Is


makes hash of every good intention







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I did not know

you survived the crash

to join a new world

of haves and have-nots


and somehow lost

your last understanding of

how destructive your wish

to keep looking for advantage


when everything turns on a dime

and suddenly nothing you banked on


is left but yet another way out....







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

how will future generations classify

the bones of current humans?


will they recognize their forerunners

as such or as freaks who broke


the chain of evolution to become

their own gods only to pass


transitory into another form

as common as billion-year-old energy


looking for new forms to manifest?








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

morons and geniuses

have an equal opportunity

to botch their simple roles in the earth

the geniuses have a million excuses

while the morons stare befuddled

and neither can reconcile their limited

consciousness to the intractable Reality

that judges the more and the lesser

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

love is a butterfly

smashed against a rock


a mash of colorful wings

and black jam of thorax and abdomen


and compound eyes watching

a fading disappearing sight


go to black while we mourn

the promise of renewal so easily denied








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

if I knew what I was doing

I'd be elsewhere now


still as screwed as I know how to be

but at least elsewhere


and even that's a false dream

because there's no elsewhere


there's only here and now

and you and I know that the hard way







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

some days I can accept Life and God

as it and the One actually are


other days I rage at the heavens

for its lack of mercy


unwilling to forgive us for being taken

by liars speaking in the name of the One


but then I'm finding it easier to let go

since all of us suffer from the same rotten deal








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I don't need a reason to live


I'm alive

and all the shit

that goes with it


is enough for me

to want to take that life

except there's no death


(except the final one

when time's up and those

who stayed selfish


go to perdition

and are wiped out as if

they'd never existed)


and still a life beckons....






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

entire days lost

in earthly activity


it soothes the spirit

to seek out the night

and rest






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

this afternoon in mid-winter


the weight of life

grows heavy with

remorse and self-delusion


fading like wisps of smoke

in the dry air

of someone's tomorrow






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

each slow day-by-day

the light lengthens

entering the next season


and after all climaxes

of winter's reckonings

the low leaning light


would make one feels as if

this were the Ancient Light of Heaven








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

love in itself

cannot die


but it can be

destroyed


and no one lover

is wholly guilty


or wholly innocent

in that endeavor


and if either finally

acknowledges his or her fault


love itself can be healed

it can be mended


because in itself it

cannot die








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I wake from one dream and into another


so when Shiva awakens

all dreams will end







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

mind body and soul

throbbing in the hidden heart

penance and pleading


but why with nothing left to say

keep on writing


while anyone yearning

to endure would know on sight

I write I write to keep feeling alive










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I did my best

to make amends

but you will not

forgive


and a moment

of anger ends

the concord in which

we'd live







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

life around me is a blur of vision

and a cacophony of pride and disdain


welcome to a new era that is really

no different than previous ones


but always under the surface play

an energy paces us to our fates


we run the race set before us

and we give gratitude if we make at least the run






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Militop.

the edges of my sight

flake and flutter away

taking the scenery with it


and I absolutely myself

and facing the darkness again


made of nothing but what God gave me

as all said has been delivered

with the Light beyond my sight all there is






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

sorrow like the night

covers the morning


a black sun

in a blazing halo


we will blind

ourselves to see


and know nothing more

than that








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

well who knows when

the Ultimate End will occur


we are alive until then

and whether we rejoin the One


is as much for our selfless endeavors

to transcend ourselves utterly


as it is the One having the last word

may it include us...may it include us....








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

oh release will come at any time


and oh the misery in waiting for that release

and how much more damage endured


for the sake of the unforgiving One







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I'm just another fool

who put his faith in love


and wound up old and bitter

with love a worn delusion






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

law protects the guilty


just ask any hard-working

moral citizen


who break their asses

so some power-mad pieces of shit


can take it from them

in the name of some blood-stained


notion of entitlement

it's enough to curse and despair over


why the One would allow this

but the One is a King so no soap there


as has been said to live outside the law

you must be honest


well just how honest matters to kings and heavenly thugs?






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

what is best does not last long


not sunsets or mild twilights

or moments of love


not shadowed by bitternesses

or self-defeating terrors


but then what is worst

also passes quickly


joy and sorrow temporary as

the trances in which we choose to live


and now this instant passes








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

trust is hard come by


once you've awakened

and found you haven't ever


trusted yourself


so how can you expect

other than the deceit you've given out?






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

still trying to come to terms

with doing what's right

and suffering unmercifully over it


lessons lost in the punishment

ignorance fading away into emptiness

and to be lost with all you thought


would be beneficial only to turn out

meaningless as your wondering






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

you will not be loved

if you open your mouth

and tell the truth


you'll lose friend family and lover

and find the hard way

the futility of reason


you'd better learn where to hide

when the futility of truth leaves you for dead








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

all I know could be fit in a thimble


and still some misled fool

would call me 'genius'


without knowing I may be

no better than he is


but do not share his intractable

pride that blocks the very way he'd go


while I stumble else bewildered at such things






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

nothing more to be done for now


now will the restless will

find rest from all its ignorant


so it may see what will be done hence








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

empty this moment


all we add to it is transitory

which is but a small swatch


of the eternity we imagine






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

lips meet a last time

in the hospital room


and then the division

of soul from soul


just a little while

but by power of love


a pain of loss for what gave

our loss meaning and our pain its gravity










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

watching the short day disappear

night has its dominion

over these eyes


but the short day worms

its way to greater length

and soon the warmth of spring


will tie in if not dispense with

the slowly shrinking night








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

there's always plenty left to do


but you are not obligated to complete it

you do your share of it and the rest is for those


who know there's plenty left to which we go on










Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

happy or not

you live and live on

making what you will

of the noose you will tie

out of all the rope

you'll be allowed


happy or not

you live and live on






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

EVERY ONE

you will not accept any blame for your sins

so don't be surprised when you return

to earth and have yet another pile of shit

for which to atone and wondering what you did

to deserve this







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

some times I'm loved

other times I'm hated


but being me is enough

and stuck in what I'm fated


I can ask all I want

but never get an answer


so I accept the hard cost

and endure life's living cancer






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

the best thing about living in the earth is knowing

you'll never get anything right

and as best as you can do you will still be sent

into some pit for your punishment


(yes even if it's a tiny little misstep)

this God does not play nor does God laugh or forgive

but knowing that is better than clinging to delusions

in the name of your idea of God


that one day everything will be alright and the ache

will reach its end (it will end when everything else in creation

finally reaches its conclusion) and you will finally see

for yourself the reality of living by your own lights


you cannot control your destiny because all you can do is

make your own move then relax knowing God will have the last word







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I have nothing to say to the guardian angel

who leads me through one pile of shit

after another and shrugs and says 

oh it's God will

you were meant to suffer like this

then get the fuck lost

if you're not going to guard me

then who the hell really needs you?

I might as well fruitlessly appeal to God

and get the usual silent brush-off

you see it's hope that leads us astray

it's hope that rouses our mistaken penitences 

and no mercy or forgiveness for trying

but only having nothing to say to God angels or any one

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

a lifetime of deadly sleep

reduces you to this shoreline


where you sit up on the sands

of dull-sunned gray-metal morning at seaside


awakening at last and too late for this skin

but always the hope the carry-over will be less


than expected should I lug it forward to make amends

of this dawning of lethal consciousness







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

honestly


this endless payback is enough to crack outright

the soul's stamina and even its devotion


had we known starting out that our punishments

linger longer than a lifetime and what's not settled here


shows up when it will to come up from under memory

to remind you whatever you choose you undergo and endure


relentlessly








Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

hanging small in a corner of the sky


the pitiful soul looks vainly back

on the deserted body

as those in flesh cry for me


where were those tears as I stumbled through

my life wondering what I did to deserve

the painful and dubious love


and the falseness of every yearning turned

the instrument of corrections

that binds us to our sin without mercy or grace


having clawed my way out of this Philip Milito

I am left with damage done and receipt for payment

and the last lament for ignorant righteousness


like a star in this corner of my sky






Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

every plan got blown out of the water

I can't speak for others but I found a floating plank

and nursed the illusion that delivered me

until I washed up on someone's shore


at deficit for nothing we can imagine holds up

against the incoming flood of consequence

and there in the sand I found the fool

who set me adrift here


the flow itself an aspect of the process

but taking me where I truly cannot imagine


my life of self-domination ready to be washed out

and I to undergo the reality of my track through time

calling no shots because we undergo the remaining

plan last to be awakened but among the first to be awake





Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

it never bothered me

until the barbarians within us

finally spilled

looked to let go


and refused as I had done times

before to deny my citizenship

and call for the blood

of everyone like me


who had a cutting word

for our folly and our barker god

and saw I and we were doing nothing

nor did it diminish us in their our own eyes


to be angry and to ignore our place

barbarians each and all in relief to savage









Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

we all stand at the Great Waterfall

AT path passes beyond us


we forget everything

EVERYTHING!


involved in this perpetual instant

the radiance of rainbow in the foam


and after a countless infinity

we peek out of the spray


and return to our skins

renewed from knowing


its proximity and shared nature

of its world and its imaginings


how could care any longer when we stood

by watery rivulets and forgot literally EVERYTHING?









Content 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

2016

early morning

a watery sun rising

absorbs the coming day


a pale light

gives the silver sides of

the trees


the dim gleam

of distant memory







Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.