some end will come

it always does


as some fresh start ensues

from the place where I was


if I make it home

I won't know


until I get there

by whatever way I go....









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

PARACHUTE

I stood in a howling threshold

over the earth down below

then someone kicked me

and I was airborne


and as the plane disappeared

I grabbed hold of the cord

and as I plummeted

I looked at the earthly vista


the chute may fail

and I'll smash to the ground

or it'll open

and I'll float down with this sky


and this patterned land and this horizon

so firm in my eye that it will be me the rest of my days....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I wish I could sustain myself

in the face of all my travails


I must accept that sometimes

the way to win is to lose....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BY LAND OR SEA

to follow someone is ever risky


you all might make it to some mountaintop

or all wind up in the same ditch


and if what you seek is your idea of God's Golden Shore

well you'll have to reach your own beach first


and hope that the dinghy is seaworthy

then you row for your lives so to speak and aim for that landfall...


(and don't try walking it...that's not yet for everyone....)










Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

PINCH OF THE SHOE

it's just another pinch of the shoe

this rainy morning

where spring dawdles absurdly

and no way out

is no way out


I think I see where the bullshit sets in...

as long as I don't think about reality

my head won't throb and my blood won't boil


but even those reveries of anything but this

anywhere but here have a price...

even peace itself can be a struggle


but even this rainy morning

even that's another pinch of the shoe

and if I go far wrong...my feet will tell the tale....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

another day in paradise

as the song goes


how many more of them can I take?

sometimes even someone else's hell


puts on a better face than the one

we're supposed to show God


and I'm ugly in my own eyes

for believing there'd ever be relief






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I be wheezy and tired and put upon

by young nasty bastards

who've yet to be broken


the know-it-alls who'll add to the world's misery

by ruining themselves


and you you little bitch...you insult and dismiss me?


you identify yourself and all I can do is be sorry

you won't blow me...your mouth's certainly big enough for the job....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you want deep?

go to the depths of the ocean...


you want light and superficial?

float atop the waves...


I plunge into the vast waters

and I swoop and swirl in the currents


but I can't take you with me

if you won't go....






Content (c) 2008-2104 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

To achieve the Great Way

you must first empty your mind


oh good


you're more than half way there....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

AT ONE WITH MY FELLOWS

oh you rubes you buffoons

I was just having you on


did you also learn a lack of humor

from those miserable parents of yours?


(I'm older enough to remember your grandparents

and oh what morons they were


I developed all my anarchy

by thinking how wonderful it would be


to set them on fire...funny how some things

just cross so easily the generational divide)


but I must keep quiet now

some moron without a sense of the absurd


will bust me as a menace...me...too old and sick

to even pull a prank anymore


oh you idiots...God must love

the fools and scroundrels...


and made so many of us...

and we all have an equal playing field


tally-ho all were jackasses....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

TITTY

tiity titty titty titty titty

titty titty titty titty titty


there

what do you suppose I mean by that!






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

oh my goodness did I offend

some lily-livered master of the universe

by farting too loudly

or having a real moment by hitting my thumb

with a hammer?


cheers to a new generation of

smug comfortable tyrants

little daddy's girls and momma's boys

you spoiled little shits

deserved to break down in a panic

when your fingernail splits or your cellphone craps out


it's not that I'm anti-techno...but you rely too much

on your toys and not enough on your own brains

which are probably ruined already by your milieu


so maybe you shouldn't bother...a different measure of justice waits for you....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I had better things in mind

to do tonight


listen to music

watch a favorite old video


stare out the night window

and wonder "oh Jesus now what?"


anything would have been better

than hearing your need invade my space







Conten t (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you cannot stop me

from climbing the wall


even if it's tall

and I'm too fat and old


you cannot stop me

from climbing the wall


and you'll either say "look at the fool"

or "Jeez...he made it over"






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE CARNIVAL WE MAKE OF LIFE

happiness is not affirming the carnival we make of life


we miss by a mile what we're to do here

and playing the whore or the joker or the chief

will do nothing but embalm imbeciles in their fake belief

that they are special that they are unique

even when they're dumbfounded and cannot speak


we are to atone and forgive each other here


happiness is not doing whatever you like....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

go play princess all-that you snooty bitch

I confess I've totally lost the itch

to impress young missies half my age

you're young and quick but not that smart

beside you've yet to learn your heart


it's meant for more than sending young bucks in a rage

and if you don't believe me ask your mother and she'll

affirm what I say...being a queen now she'll know how you feel





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I cannot withstand the onslaught of change

my time is up and there's nothing more to gain


and those who follow learn for themselves

they're no different...they're not something else


every generation finds out they're not the endgame

with every victory ephemeral and every defeat the same


you will not withstand the onslaught of change

and you'll follow me back to dust again






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

UPON A HILL

I stood upon a hill today

while a wave washed the whole town away


I watched as precious possessions floated

with sadness their passing was noted


and the bodies that loved these things

went by eddying in endless rings


and as I stood upon the hill

I wondered what wave will wash me away....






Conent (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

human vanity never stops running wild


look at the techno jerks

with their blind obedience


to science that craps out every time

a sunspot farts on the face of the sun


these are the morons who dream

of activity without instrumentality


who think they'll be able to materialize

thought at will and let their dreams


do their work...didn't these imbeciles

learn anything from Forbidden Planet?


didn't they learn the lesson of the Krells

(let along their long-ago imago Prospero?)


...who help us? each asshole has to learn for himself....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

anyone can be

a victor in his own mind


how easy it is

when there's nothing but spoils






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

whatever I have coming to me

no matter how dark and crushing


I'd rather be dead and out of this life

and so begin yet again...


for whatever sins God will squeeze out penance

with his merciless vengeance


I'd rather be dead and out of this life

and so begin again


because God is unforgiving

why must I be also?


I'd rather be dead and out of this life

and so begin again


so what if God cares about us only as slaves

to his power-madness?


I'd rather be dead and out of this life

and so begin again


so what if God acts like a common gangster

beating acquiescence out of us for his vanity's sake


I'd rather be dead and out of this life

and so begin again....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

now that (I hope) I have

God out of my system


I can finally be human

and do some good....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

High Lord God of the Universe

Thou Art dismissed...


I'm too busy trying to make amends

and atone for the good I've missed


if all liability is placed

on us to atone and repent


then what do we need you for?

we'll wash our sins clean and you'll be there to congratulate us?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I know the terms

they stand out quite clear


I will sing hosannas

and the One will shit in my ear


it has something to do with karma

so they always say


but what do they know? they'd stand under piss

and say that it's raining






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

so now I know I'm truly alone

just as each of us are...


what to do

in our limited lives


with our lack of scope

and depth of vision?


we begin with what is at hand

and step by step move forward


no matter how long it takes

step by step to straighten ourselves


and if we get pain for our redemption

know it is the foulness of the source


makes life such a horror...if love is love

then it will abide...even if God tries to destroy it....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Militop. All rights reserved.

don't say like begets like

then think

we'll draw some opposite lesson from our pains


don't give someone freedom of choice

then damn them in your derangement

for choosing their way


you demand obedience

you will not be mocked

it's a shame the good you demand of us


is not part of your demeanor

but if you wind up alone

at the end of this creation


know you choose it for yourself

the same way you saddled us with it....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

JUSTICE ALL AROUND

boy am I glad

to be free of myself


to rant to rave

to celebrate fully


my living time

among a pool of shitheads


thank you all

from the bottom of my hole


thank you all

from the top of my spleen


you gave me hell

and I'll give it back


and to hel with some cosmic judge

who hates being mocked and cheated





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

LOVE AND SERVICE

I await an end that's already begun

I don't know where it will lead me

but say my name and my essence will come

if ever you should need me


despite what the One has in mind for me

I'll no longer cripple myself

if your love calls I'll be there for thee

and let the One try to damn me for helping someone else...


oh if God's hate is enough then that will go by the boards too

if goodness prevails then let's abide it

I'll be to your service when other help abandons you

whether or not this hateful judge likes it


in this end that has already begun

say my name and my essence will come....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

people can do as they please

they always have...they always will...


as if their stumbling will buy them time

and it will...but not forever....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I knew you'd be waiting for me

I sensed you in the wind


you're the last cold turning of the sun

before spring mocks us with its fecundity


and we weary of the warming

that will leave us one day


and bring others who will do what we've done...

waiting on the last cold turning....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

waiting for death

is hard and lonely


life is always around us

but death comes when it will


stepping out of the shadows of the day....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'd tell you to kiss my ass

but you...you snank...


would probably love it too much...

that's o.k.


have your way....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

in life

we give the meaning


now what the hell

do we mean?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

it is unbecoming for a man

to put his private ravings on post


after all he suffers from nothing

from which others do not suffer


we are in this earth together at this time

(as if that were some kind of comfort)


struggling before a vast Void

that is as nothing....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

let us love

and take care of each other


manifestly

God will not....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Miltio. All rights reserved.

no thunderbolts

no sudden loss of life


I'm still alive

and wish I weren't






Content (c) 2008-2014 Phiulip Milito. All rights reserved.

all mountaintops reach to the stars


a beautiful sentiment

for those who can climb...


for those of us content (of necessity)

to see mountaintop and stars


in one upward sweep of view

from the foothills of our daily acquiescence


it is the beckoning of our imaginations to vision....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

DEFUSING THE CONFRONTATION

you'll keep little secrets

that everyone will know

(no one's the deep dark secret

they think they are)


and you'll sign your name

to every excuse

as people will look at you and smirk

they feel entitled to do so


having endured this themselves

at some point of misadventure


so confound them all

keep no secrets

smear your truth in their faces

and that will keep them off balance....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

PLEASE...BUT NO THANKS

why must I be grateful

for help that is no help?


do people really want to bring me up

or drag me down with them?


I have a hard enough time

just thinking for myself


when nothing I know can be trusted

and nothing I do works out





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SOME THINK (FAR TOO MUCH)

some think I'm cursing myself

when I curse these imaginary little idols


and some think a gaping hole will

funnel out of the earth and swallow me whole


and some think it's just a childish acting out

and some think it's deadly mortal combat


I think they're all crazy

don't they know a headache when they see one?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

CREDO (OF THIS ONE SITUATION)

be an obedient little robot of murder

and live forever


or do what you know is right

and die away into nothing


so implies the "Lard"

that Supreme Being


that loves each of us so much

we get fucked every single day








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm not so pleased

with my work in the earth


so much failure

and no measure of excellence


to which to compare it







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

NO MAN HEARS MY SONG AND LISTENS

the fool had heard a nightingale

and so he tried to salt its tail


and when he did the bird grew quiet

and the fool's heart began to riot


fluttering around his rib cage

in a panic beyond what his fool's mind could gauge


and leaving the fool the nightingale

took song and full flight after brushing its tail






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

A SIMPLE KOAN TO OFFER NO INSIGHT

nobody held your eyes in their hand

nobody made love to a statue of sand

point a finger it's all the same

sociopaths run the game






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BILL KNOTT (1940-2014)

well he's finally gone

and his foes

imagined or otherwise

can launch their poisonous screeds

and mock his genius for wordplay

and the depth of his embrace of

his own chaos

the very hallmarks of greatness

to which they themselves

will never lay claim


let them stand forever

outside the circle

lauding their mediocrity

and the praise that attends it

let them make vases

of cheap sentiments and (UGH!)

'teachable moments'...


when you stand in the fire

you don't know anything but fire

and Knott never stood

anywhere else...


until now....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE WILL OF THE WAY

I wonder sometimes (but not too often)

who comes across these words of mine


who really reads them and takes away

something useful on their journey


more often than not I myself

ponder the value of what I'm trying to do here


and am I near any genuine objective truth

and do I even know what I'm saying?


I've an instinct to teach but who wants

to be lectured...especially when teacher and disciple are one


in learning the torturous ways we must travel...

if I am to teach then I must learn more at one with who would hear me


for in my pain I have yet to understand and accept

how mercy is contained in the horrible judgement....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WHAT HEAVEN

what heaven in your mind

becomes your hell

when you wake up to find

it was false


but worked as long as you believed in it

once you transcended this

other levels you never knew of

subjected you to their laws


and you said this much is done

but oh look at what lies ahead

you knew your heaven...though all around you...

is farther along than you thought


and your heaven becomes your hell

when you refuse to let go of it....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

NOT COMPLEX AT ALL

'sorry' doesn't cut it

moping doesn't make it


you cut the past but keep the price

and work it out going forward...


life's not complex at all

how much simpler can it be?


you roll down the road like a wheel

tumbling with your head up your ass....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

MERCY MERCY MERCY PLEASE

mercy mercy mercy please

I'm broken up

and down on my knees

though I think I've had enough


I find my obligations

go beyond that which I'm conscious of...

I'm paying for more than I bargained for

and ignorance is no excuse


all debts come due and the greed of power

is sanctified on a spiritual level

says the One 'I Am That I Am'

meaning 'it is what it is'


through all the confusion and sorrow and doubt

a lifetime of pain to find this out....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE PARTY'S OVER AS WE ALL EVENTUALLY SAY

old-fashioned habits

dying a slow death

I miss the drugs

and the strippers too


now the drugs

are medicinal

and the dancers

preserved but still old


and we all look back

on our imagined 'good old days'

feel the worm churning

inside ourselves


mourning who's no longer with us on earth

and mourning the little time left to us here....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

HELP...NOT

beware the well-meaning 'friend'


they are concerned with themselves

not you....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ON BEING ADVISED TO SEE A THERAPIST

why on earth would I want to unload my woes

on some detached professional sociopath


whose probably more fucked up than I'm supposed to be?

I need to empty my pockets to have myself tracked


by some ignoramus who's going to tell me

that ice melts in the sun?





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

if people paid as much attention

to their own problems


as they do meddling with others

we might have an answer to the world's problems







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the masculine rules the mind

the feminine rules the heart


put the two together

and you have a being that constantly fucks itself






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

FOR THE ONE...

our kisses seal our souls

soft blending of the passion we share


and as you praise my sexiness (as only a lover would)

I remind you with another gliding of lips


that I am only as good as who I am with

and it is you who are fantastic


and you raise my game

you who I am ever with in our forever bed....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THE NIGHTS WERE THE BEST

a day has flown

and another...and another...


and I look out the window

at the late afternoon light


waiting for the night that will

release me again


into the world slipping away

with every moment of joy and laughter....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

A LIFETIME IN EVERY BOX

everything I wanted

turned out to be a shadow


of something real

I could not have....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

COMIC

when the laughter ends

and bitterness wins out


no one can blame the clown

for wanting to die....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

JERSEY (AS REPRESENTED IN MEDIA BY THE LOCAL CITIZENRY)

I answered every question

and repented of answering


you want to know what happened

in that diner when some asshole flipped


and shot up the place because

the eggs were runny (I've eaten here...I know...)


go ask someone who was there and survived

I was just outside waiting for a pick up


and the cops were not satisfied

(not with my record an arm long)


I wasn't him and neither was

any of the people I saw running outside


copper you want to find out who this person is

you're gonna have to get off your fat ass and work for it





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

YET ANOTHER DODGY CREDO

I hate the rulers of the world

forcing me to do things their way


much as I sometimes hate the god

who gives them their head


every step of the way...

but I don't care if there's no real freedom


and every word of love is a hoax

I'll never purposely hurt another


and I won't brag about it afterward....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

as if nothing will heal

we relish our pain


our identities

our own sense of self


as if healing will steal

our faces away


and we won't know ourselves

as we are....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BAT

I send out signals like a crazed bat

awoken too soon in the afternoon


confusion confusion confusion

and a scattering of webbed black wings approximating


the forgotten moment just past....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

PASSED AWAY QUIETLY LAST NIGHT

I share condolences for your sense of loss

the earth you inhabit will be lonelier by that much


but when the tears pass a little more each day

you'll find that soul waiting for you somewhere else






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

oh the fading of the light

is something I must use what's left

of all my mind


to run the reel backward

and make it seem as if

light were grower stronger and brighter....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm itchy this morning


because I saw a young beauty

on the street

whom I could have had


if this were thirty years ago

and I still didn't know

what I would be in for...


even my imagination fades before this....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ILL HUMOR

I'm in an ill humor


I got my bills today

and bills always seem to demand

more than I've got to pay....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

pee-pee and ka-ka...


there's the world for ya....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

if love were any more just

I believe my soul would already be dead....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I owe a small amount to evil

small...but too much for my pockets...


and all I get is lessons in what I already know

 like pay up or you'll get hurt....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SURVIVAL GUIDE

how people can live with themselves

is their own business


for all my awareness of our Oneness

I do my best to stay out of their way






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

PORN STUDENT #2

she put her ass out

and everyone grabbed


and now the moral police cast doubt

on every progressive theory


everyone preaches freedom

until they get themselves nabbed


by moral hypocrisy from judges dirtier

then those they try for indecency





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

PORN STUDENT

I LOVE Belle Knox...(aka Miriam Weeks...I'd love rhyming that name!)


she's working her way through college...fine...


but all this fake moral controversy...please!


in one of the most morally corrupt civilizations

known on the face of the earth...ever...

let the hypocrites fume...


(especially if she's a fetishist...) I'll help her


with her homework

anytime...






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

in the world

I forget about my self


there are billions struggling

beside me


and sometimes our eyes meet

and a raised eyebrow says it all


the common prayer and reaffirmation...

ain't this the shit?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

let those who believe in nothing

but what they can feel and touch and manipulate


follow their pernicious paths

if they awaken in time


let us celebrate their awakening

if not then let us


mourn their passing to perdition

if only for the briefest of instants....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

this late in the game

people still worry about

the end of the world


why this worry?

why this fear?


this world may end one day

but eternity will not

and like it or not you're already there....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I see your thong

rise above the back of your jeans


and I'm reassured

the race will continue....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I send out my spirit

from the yearning in my heart


but it comes back empty-handed

I've already got what I want....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

WILL YOU MISS ME...

will you miss me when I'm gone?


of course not

I'll never be gone


my words and works

will linger here


for any who stumble on them

to take what they need


and I'll still be around to haunt

the dreams of loved ones


who cry needlessly

for my presence


when I'll be closer to them

than I ever was


how could you miss what'll never be gone?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

NO HERE AND NO THERE

loved ones gone

arrive back here

in dreams

in silent whispers

tickling the ear

or channeled through

some half-bedizened medium

who didn't know he had it in him


and it's because 'departed' loved ones

are never really gone

their presence pervades

like a fragrance

and here we all are again breathing deep

joining what was never separated....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

TO THIS GENERATION'S CHIRPY SNOTS

no

don't move

don't bother

don't put yourself out

I'll just sidle past with an armload

of files and boxes

and maybe one free leg

as if I were a pack mule


no

no need to falsely apologize

after the fact

I know you try so hard to be

what you think others want you to be

but your rudeness...at least... you come by honestly....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

why must

every god-damned

asshole

on the planet


make me

so sorry

that we are

all One?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ON THE CURB

vacant

in this early tease of spring


my form

moves among other forms


and each icy private darkness

melts into the warm public light


and our forms merge

like the last black ice puddling on the curb....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

TRUE LOVE WEIGHS...A TON

she was perfect

I was not


but that was only

my measure of the matter


and so we had nothing to say

about the issue


(what her take was

God...as they say...only knows....)





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

QUESTION #2

can a

poor


retainer

be said


to have

learned anything?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

QUESTION #1

when the

blind dream


what do

they see?








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CAN YOU BELIEVE PEOPLE STILL USE A WORD LIKE 'NORMAL'?

aren't you pleased now

I've taken away the anger?


(people don't like anger...

it makes them nervous


especially when it reminds them

of their culpability)


aren't you pleased

the reasonable me has returned


after a rest from the thing

the world does to keep us on edge


and calls it normal?

aren't you pleased we're not normal


(whatever evasion that is?)

and enjoy an edgy peace without end?






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I made a mistake in assuming

love would conquer all


as least not our donnybrooks

which end in hugs


but with a hardness and suspicion

as if we had an open invitation


to harry ourselves again

with our vows of separate reason....






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CRUNCHY

have a bite

have another bite


there are plenty of apples around

and not a woman in sight






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THE LESSON THAT STUPIFIES

I wish I could be more constructive

and helpful to your pain


but God beat goodness out of me

trying to teach me a lesson about goodness....






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NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP?

another morning sees aright

another day traveling into another night


but if I should die before another dawning

then that's that for another morning






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IRREPRESSIBLE MAN

I've ceased to care

(though not without the fading pain)

how things go

or what God wants

or any of the other bullshit

that takes all the good out of living...


you go your way and I'll go mine

and we'll see who gets to the Abyss first....






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PURPOSE

I served my purpose

I did the works I did


they had some authentic value

and their validity was affirmed


by those who received them...

and still so what? does anything heal


the harm done in doing

or stay the hand of the God of Vengeance?







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HOWDY (FUCKING) NEIGHBOR

imprisoned by the sensitive concern

of meddlesome do-gooders

(who only yelp when they are inconvenienced)


I understand now why

the greatest curse of living is our Oneness

and needing to contend


with people who are as vile as they think us

but get smug with an upper hand....






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MELTDOWNS

we all have our meltdowns

but mine aren't yours


you worshipped the things of this world

I held out for an abstract heaven


what fools we are in either case....






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I GAVE YOU VIOLETS

I gave you violets to wear

sweet nectar to drink


and you trampled them under your hooves

and got drunk on sexual power


shall I see this sadness and wail

woe is me? are you for real?


I'll dress myself in lilies

and drain every drop of the poison....






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YOU'LL GET YOURS REST ASSURED

I wasted a life

trying to make right

every error of thought

and conduct I perceived


and it all crashed down

because the love of the Divine

will tolerate no effort we make

despite being commanded to make the effort


stay asleep in your happy beliefs

to leave them is to invite sorrow you'll never survive

because nothing you do will ever

be good enough to appease our blessed tyrant


and you'll waste other lives to find what I've found...

no mercy no forgiveness no love....





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FRUIT

do not look for your salvation

in the eyes of your lover


for all the sweet things they bring

they bring more the rot of fruit on the ground....







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HOW TIRED I AM OF EXALTING WORK AS IF THERE WERE MORE TO IT THAN NECESSITY

things do not go well for me

another chance to advance

snatched away

by a funding cut or a boss's nephew

or an idiot married to the company

are thins the pay as if it came

from his own pockets


oh common reality

oh common woes

so common any choice idiom

expresses the matter at hand

this tedium is embraced

lauded by millions

while millions more starve

in some elevated moral notion of unemployment


things do not go well with me

and the same with you and you and you

common woes so common

we are obliged to curse the idiot

who invented all this bullshit

and thought it all so wonderful

we are compelled to participate


and that's our real job....





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MORONS

love as a moron's game


oh to be stuck

with such an example...


a love that drives me

to murder (or divorce at least)


it's seems the commonest thing...

the thing of love that most


binds....







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BOILING BLOOD

let my blood boil

at the sin of the world


many more like me than I realized

endure this shit and for equal reason


call on the time-honored insights...

eat when you're hungry


and drink when you're dry...

for the rest is boiling blood and succor between us rabble....




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hate gets you nowhere

and love is a deceitful thing


so distance yourself

and be ironic


being mindful then

only of the sins of detachment


for even here booby traps line

the red carpet of your welcome....









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I only hate God

because there is no forgiveness or mercy in "Him"


so if the choice of good and evil

is on each of us...for my part...


I will do what I know is right

(caring no longer whether it is my own vanity


chasing the Light) and I will do it

by ignoring all counsel whether my fellow flounderers


or this "god" instead....







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GOD'S BLAME BUT YOUR FAULT

people eventually learn to accept

their defeat in trying to read the signs right


follow your heart follow your destiny

so says some ignorant teaching


but put it into practice and suffer the many turns

that a thorny path offers...


oh Lord my God I did what I was told

I did what I was taught


and some silent voice impresses itself

on your downfall I know ye not


well thanks a load...we're commanded to do

our best and our best is never good enough


and people learn to accept the 'no-win' proposition

of living by the rules of this 'loving' tyrant....





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THIS NIGHT OR THAT

alone again in the window


observing this night

of a long cold winter


and utterly thoughtless

as to what it might mean


and when will it end

and when what spring night will find me


alone again in the window....







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ANOTHER DREAM I CAN'T FIGURE OUT

I join my elders on the hunt


ghost buffalo to eat

and spirit skins


to wear in the long

nights of eternity


...until I waken again in the morning

and moccasins disappearing down a trail


disappear from my daily consciousness






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WORLDS APARTS

I thought better of challenging

the dunce and his theory


this is his world

and it supports him

and his belief

and what could I say


from a past

beyond his comprehension?







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little to see

and even less to be


age draws the circle tighter

like a noose....






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MASTERLESS

like a masterless dog

I rove the dark corners

of the street


wild in my pounce

on the occasional prey

and in pure fright


at a sudden sweeping headlight

or movement of clacking shoes on the pavement


teeth bared

until the danger is met

or the danger has passed


if this seems extreme

in the telling

know that this heart feels otherwise





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EVER ON THE SPOT

raised to the heights

dashed to the depths


somewhere between

is the befuddlement that guides us






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ORDINARY MORNING #5

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ORDINARY MORNING #4

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ORDINARY MORNING #3

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THE TRAING GROUND #3

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THE TRAINING GROUND #2

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ORDINARY MORNING #2

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every morning is ordinary


whatever atrocities erupt

are as much a part of the daily moment

as blue skies birds singing etc etc etc


no wonder outrage dissipates

it's hard to persist when you find out

you can never win and your defeat is as much


apart of the ordinary morning







Content (c) 2008-20134 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

mine to lose?


or God's to take

away from me?





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THE ASH WEDNESDAY SPECIAL

you rise in the morning

sink down at night

have no idea

what's wrong or right

and stumble and see

just how far you'll go

from dust you came

and back to dust you'll go


you learn the hard way

bit by bit

that  you browned your masters

and treated loved ones like shit

and all the while

you'll say "I didn't know"

from dust you came

and back to dust you'll go


you embezzle the rich

and feed off the poor

then creep out backward

through the nearest door

you think heaven's above

and hell's down below

from dust you came

and back to dust you'll go


you cling to life

and your panic will abuse it

you don't believe

he who would save his life must lose it

but the last thing you'll learn

is the last thing to lay you low

from dust you came

and back to dust you'll go





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how brief our joys and triumphs...


and how long and hard

our burden for such relief....






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there are no terrors in creation

except those I have created for myself


and they hold such sway

that I cannot believe my own strength


one day I'll pass through my barriers

as if passing through a smoky room


but until then I stare at the swirling rings of smoke

as if they were solid (even though I know they aren't


how strong and real are our illusions....)





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when I think of the harshness of the Way

my blood boils in anger and regret


and so is sorrow our teacher

and so is our downfall our salvation





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within the mendicant is concealed the holy man

within the comedian hides the preacher


and they say the same exact thing

and whoever will receive it will do so...


listen closely and you'll hear

how we are all One Heart


even when we don't know

we are all One Heart....






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WHAT I MEANT

I walked in such a glow

flames of visions surrounding me


I thought I saw which way to go

and went in excitement of what I would see


and here I am in my actuality

the vivid eternal instant morphing on


and I'm back in the daily reality

hungry for what destination I long


it's been affirmed to me yet again

everything has changed

but nothing is really different


I still must pay my price at the end

of this sojourn that so rearranged

me to the point I must once more question just what I meant....




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THE TRAINING GROUND

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SNOW SOCCER

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TAKING THE SUN

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