grace is only humility

in the face of arrogance


may your grace sustain you

in your struggle against your arrogance








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

they say you have more freedom

in the earthly plane

than you do in the upper realms


in flesh you are mutable

in spirit you are totally what you are


sorry I didn't realize this

earlier in this life

I'd've raised more hell than souls


who could populate it






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm dead to this world yet

I must live this life to its full term


having been broken down finally

under this grinding of divine justice


we call "His" vengeance

is there a last lingering tiny drop


of saving grace to help me

straighten some things out


or will the way open up to some

last chance that will only


be taken away from me?








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

do not hang your hat

on a promise*


nor let anyone hold your coat

for a night that isn't yours


tend to your own business

you have enough on your plate


including these mendacious clowns

treacherous as ice in spring




(*the first word that I wrote here was "program"...well..that too...)



Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

all it takes is one person to lend

that helping hand


I wish that person would finally

find me


and not some one who'd egg me

into a fight


and then not even be there

to hold my coat








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

it doesn't matter what anyone does

God has the last word on everything


fuck all this 'children of God' crap

and all that 'co-creator' bullshit


it's more than too much to do

to do your best to amend and God will none of it


no matter what weighs on us anyhow

God has the last word on everything and that is that







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

there...

now I've sealed my fate


I will be punished unmercifully

because I dared to cry out in pain


and I will be destroyed

because I failed to endure


suffering beyond

my power to endure....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ask and ye shall receive (a fall from grace)

seek and ye shall find (never anything you need)


seek and you may be struck blind

ask and you'll hear what you cannot believe







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

can't decide what's worse


our loose waywardness

or the tight-assed intolerance of perfection....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito All rights reserved.

love is almost wasted

in a world where man

is wolf to man


but even wolves

know love in their kind


if that is so then what

is it about love that sets

us at each other's throats?







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

vanity is our love of self

humility is our love of another








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

a creative gift returns

but too late to matter


it cannot be used

it was not the reason


to endure this lifetime







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

going down for the last time

seeing things no one else sees

knowing to what no one else has access

the content of a whole life

so fully present in mind

it seems static in its passing


there the stars are needle-sharp

spindles of blinding light

there the smell and taste of luscious things

there the touch and sound of rushing love

carrying all seed forward

and watch the ground of our endeavor here root


going down for the last time

each of us sees in review

what no one else can view

because our views are our own

which together form the vision of

we inhabit in the Mind of God







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

when it comes to hindsight

everyone's wise






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm on the run

I've got to go

I've got no gun

I've got nothing to show


I've made mistakes

I'll never live down

I caught no breaks

and now must leave town


but I can't swear

I'll come back someday

too heavy are my cares

they get in the way


but where I end up

is where I'll belong

I'll have had enough

of all of the wrong


and if you come to stalk me

to see where I am

don't bother looking

I'll already be gone







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

almost...almost...anything you want

is probably not what you need


but it's only our own confusions that haunt

and even our choices are that upon which cannot be agreed


zen the issue and pick or just take a wild shot

decide then deal with what you've got






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

all is false and stacked


and everyone is treacherous

beyond belief


my...what?...even God is wholly

against us


and we only have each other

and even there we must be cautious


where all is dubious and bleak....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

evil comes in many forms


most pernicious of all

is the guise of good







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

when some asshole mounts a podium

and starts preaching righteousness


I turn and go the other way

quickly


before the crowds begin

to boil over....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

a long road to "heaven'

a short road to "hell"


and God Damn It

on both counts









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you love playing the fool?

why not?

it's easy and comes to you

naturally








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

think you're the only one


so does

everyone else


(figure it....)







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

if I knew what the hell was wrong with you

I'd know what the hell was wrong with me


heard in every household

around the world and down through time


fuck you

no fuck you


forgive me oh I love you

ah the ties the ties that love binds








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

nothing ruins a good head

like returning to the daily world


extra fortitude to keep your head together

extra strength to see your way through the day


and let other's actions be on them

your own business is all to which you need attend


here is the bread of communion

here is the human comedy in full performance








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I came damn near close

to never letting you out of my arms


sad hunger makes us forget

we are joined no matter what


stay next to me 'forever'

and go a little ways off  for what you love


it's all one anyway

and only the peaceful heart knows that for sure....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I...you...anyone

can leave this life in an instant


but for the apprehension

of the physical trauma of 'passing over'


it's the same life here as on the other side

of this dimension...


so I'm tentatively o.k. with this...

what I have to face returned to


my true actuality I'll know soon enough

though I know at least


it will be for all the genuine gratitude

of having realize some genuine good


and all I've failed to fix going forward

to the next earthly incarnation's circus....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

we are One in humility


our humanity a constant trial

to preserve our own integrity

and our own fragile hold on

our vision of reality


especially if your view of reality

is in sync with Reality...

to do this in Oneness is hardest of all to maintain


when so many others are lost in their own

fever dreams...


that's where we gain our edge....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

all you can do for another is

to help and to inspire them


the rest is their business








Content (c) 2008-0214 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

well...

it's not next year yet


but the world is built and works

the way it does

every day perpetually


what does time really matter?

it's alway now and in the earth

you'll always have shit to shovel....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

amid all the world's howling


there's a sheen of peace in many hearts

as if things have gotten so bad


that a breakthrough has happened

and people have exhausted their capacity


for this world's tragedy

and trudging on as all of us do


the way we trudge will show whether

we've stood down to let maniacs drag only


themselves and their adherents down

into their own hells or we've stepped up out of


outworn mythologies to find each our own way

back to where the morning stars sing


we'll see when we see what next year brings....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

does an old ending

automatically mean a new beginning


(stupid phrase...what beginning

isn't new?)


if that is how one'll have it

a little variety will help


going forward...we're tired of cliches

offering a fresh start....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

seems I missed the memo

on the violence of this time


each side raging at the other

and neither completely right nor wrong


at least I'll have an excuse

when someone asks me


what I'm doing cowering between the two

on my knees without a prayer








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

this train (which

carries no gamblers et al)


is running on time...


next stop...the end of

this line...


change there for trains


to future incarnations on earth

last adjustments and Enlightenment....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the Source of Life

is unknowable...


its intelligence

demonstrated by


the endless process

of its Law


its goodness

posited in the harmony


of all the parts

with the whole of its design...


and whether you call this force

"god" or "big bang" or "black hole"


or "electromagnetic waves pulsing

through infinity"


matters not...

you will either tame yourself


and rejoin the harmony

or remain in your cell of self


and pass away with the disharmony

at the fullness of creation's term...



your choice....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

why vengeance and unforgiveness?


everyone gets what's coming to them


don't be angry because your name

isn't on their specific sin against you...


otherwise you'd be no better than they are

judgement will obtain...just watch your own back....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

without sorrow

there'd be no happiness


hard to see

when you're mired in either....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I thought

we were one


but we never

figured which


one...

so best leave us


be us...

that we'd know perfectly....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

even now

in the face

of horrendous realities


people still dress up

their puny egos and

self-importantly funeral-direct


stage-managing their illusions

to whatever bitter end....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

it takes a sorrow

to remind people

to treat each other better while we're here


and after the mourning

it is just that sorrow

that makes us backslide


into our usual....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

good or bad

positive or negative


(meaningless distinctions

but with the power to kill)


still hold us in the deadly

illusions we think of as life








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

nothing

comes of

nothing...


which

explains

a lot


about

life....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the brown leaves roll crisply

down the street


elude the super's broom and shovel

and now as the dark part


of the year stabilizes and begins

it's slow turn back toward the light


the only shadows remaining

will be mine and they too will fade


once I am no longer a body

blocking the rays of the sun


once I am the motes that dance

in the unstoppable beams


once I am a mere trace of a presence

in the air of the bright day






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

my tribe withers

and I with them

wonder now

if our metaphysics jibe

with our experience


no one I know has a clue


but our ignorance

is secondary to all we feel

and is our only guide

through this mortal morass

and if a difference is made still


no one know has a clue


through all the old age pain and doubt

we'll persevere and find out....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I do not envy the young

setting out on their course


having been there once

it is all I can do to keep my mouth shut


and let them discover for themselves

the terms of the earth their lives love....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

NO DAY OFF FOR THE REAPER

good byes so sudden and seemingly random


it makes you realize how short the tenure

of your will and ability


and you stand on every street corner

in various identities preaching the word


everyone else knows

good byes so complete and irrefutable


they sound like hollow hellos






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

anything that can be said today

can as well be said tomorrow


current events are current

because it's the same sad story


every god-damned day

and by extension one year


is much like another

so let the folly of this sad world


have play through this season

they'll be no lack of words


and outrage come January 1st...







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

nothing en masse will ever be transformed

here on this battered old rock


each person either gets drawn back

into the perpetual tangle of living here


and repeats the form and repeats the form

or individually transcends and disappears


in their own "rapture" done with the wheel

and done with such elementary ruler-slaps-on-the-knuckles


(oh you old-time nuns....)






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

one thing about being in the earth


you always know the story

because the damn thing never changes








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you thought you escaped

but there is no escape


as long as there is life

you are alive with all you've gathered


and each life is a peeling away

of all of it you don't need


and only the losing of it

will show you what and which







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

thought you done with me?


none of us are done with anyone

when will you learn

death is not the end?


when will you realize

you've far to go

to awaken from a sleep of

many lifetime's duration?


you are still stuck me

as I am with you

we're not finished

there's too much left

for which to atone


and we will face it all with new skins

and new identities

I am someone and something else now

and so are you whether or not

you know it


and again we repeat the patterns

we make finally break


with a fresh step....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

well I tried...and failed...

there really is nothing fresh to say...


I refrain from saying anything...

let someone else play the fool...


I'll return as something else....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

an all new age is upon us


a new understanding

a higher dimension of being


I won't live to see it

in full bloom


but I may reincarnate

somewhere during its term


a fresh increment

in the ongoing saga


of us trying to get back

to where we already are





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

a pipe dream

for sure


but I can

only wish


this foul god

of our


world release me

from this sojourn


before I do more

damage to my soul


as if this mattered






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

happiness

is a fever

dream of

fools






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

fools outlast wise men






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I never want

to know again

the pain of love

or the fatigue of compassion


it wears away the soul

and leaves nothing behind


which may be good or not

depending on your beliefs


are we nothing if we're something


or something if we're nothing?





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

all humanity wants

is its candy


let humanity have it...

blindness bad circulation


endless peeing...

what a fitting gift


for its grubby sugar-sweet

little wants....









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the masters of world

deserve to die with the world


render onto caesar

the dust that is his





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

people think I'm unhappy

even downright angry


it isn't true

especially when I don't


think about God....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

are these words wanted or needed

or just a cry for help defeated


if I knew I wouldn't have to ask


but whether you do or whether you don't

I won't say you will if you really won't


if I knew I wouldn't have to ask








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

some days good

some days bad

some days off the

charts in every way


this is to what our

once-proud intellectual

comprehension has

been reduced...


a yattering of

mooks about

the weather

the latest scandal


who's tits are bigger

and look at those idiots....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I swoon in the mustard

gas breath

of the "voice of the people"


they're all assholes

and should shut up anyway

but I swoon


because that

won't happen








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

despair is so old hat

that the melodramatic

are auditing courses in irony

which of course they're not getting










Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

instant celebrities


with the shelf life

of chocolates

in a candy dish










Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

give a moment please

to the dungeons of your ancestors


look in there and you may find mummified

faces that resemble your own









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

are you what you want to be

or still a soul swimming in mystery?








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you talk as if you had understanding

is anyone else really listening?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you will haunt someone

if they pay you no attention


so hold your own

then you'll have matters in hand








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you will not regret

what you've done


but you will not forgive yourself

the things you passed up


never too late to cut a caper

as they used to say


always time to make an adjustment

in your biography








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

it's not so hot

to go re-inventing

yourself


you have to change

your language and devise

a new vocabulary


and most of the time

you have no idea what you mean

and you're still you


but like the Wizard you'll be

just "the man

behind the curtain"


if you really want to mess

with people just lie down

in plain sight


and say nothing

then they'll re-invent you









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

my abstractions are my reality


it's the only way

my actions make sense


to me

everyone else can stay lost


in their dreams






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

talking your way out of one situation

will only land you in another


its so much easier to move along

without moving your mouth as well








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

so this…

the field of play…


infinite

within the still

unmoving point


far as an eye

can see


into itself…


here we rise

here we fall

or imagine


that we do

we are nowhere else


whatever we do


or think we do…

and we being in others

see multiplied our



imaginings that beget

the acts that form our play



each of us in our own way…


infinite and unmoving


so here it is we stay….








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

GRAY

gray


out the window

the monochrome

winter morning


shines dully through

beads of rain…

what a dream of salvation


and heaven I am now forgetting…

as if I’d side-stepped

every rung of Jacob’s Ladder


and bounded to the top…and


music of spheres…blazes of light…

all of it condenses into the pearl gleam

on the radio…its alarm just going off….










Content 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

CONVERSION ATTEMPTS

have a totally miserable day

and curse God unequivocally...


have a happy joyous day

and praise life unreservedly...


what aspect will cause

which part of you to be judged?







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

how much easier to accept

your defeat when time has worn down


all the shame and all the stuff

you thought was so important


disappears down your memory hole

along with all the ones


you thought mattered so much

as your ambition taught you your measure


so much easier now to reflect

and let all your scenes merge into this


moment of distraction....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

RETURN

a new thing to say

is just a new way to frame

old news that encases us

in our always






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

let those who would love

love fully and finally


let those who would hate

hate what truth they find


up and down are one and the same

and at some point


hate and love will break their definitions

and empty into the only One







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reerved.

no silence

deeper than


awareness

and peace







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

kind will have to do for us

loving and forgiving too

for there's no divinity we can trust

to find our atonements true


but if I'm wrong from a bitter life

and forgot all the truth that is in me

it's one meal of words I'll eat and like

to atone for my idiocy









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

with regret enormous

and contrition true


please Lord help us

if indeed You do








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BICYCLE RACE

not goodbye old friend

but so long


the separation

will be but a moment


and the adventure will

continue airborne


Jesus Jarry you

and me...pedaling like mad....










Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I've lived a common life


I didn't know this was unacceptable


but I saw no difference in that

and in living beyond the grasp


of my understanding

nothing pleased the One


except our acquiescence in being

robots by our own consent


oh I will miss the 'freedom'

of being mortal and tasting each morsel


of living joy but it will also pass remembered


only as the lesson of our curiosity


and how each and every common life

is unique in its fulfillment





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

who will we be next time

and where the field of play?


idle speculation

over what has yet to be


we'll still be us whether to

our joy or our dismay


but there's no rest until the enlightenment

that we have yet to see









Content (c) 208-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

entering the 7th year

but it goes no farther than this


how many different ways can you say

the same damn thing?


God 'am that I am'

and things are what they are


and we all fall so easily

and find it impossible to rise






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

6 YEARS

6 years at this blog


how much damage

in 6 years


how much decline

watching my best years

passing at last


but what has been

and what's to come

are here inside me now


and how the hurts fade

and how the joy and relief


return strongly to the awareness


6 years to learn of 6 years dismay

gone now in all that is....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I stand on a hill


like Lucifer Overlooking Paradise

looking down on the carnival

that at best is human life in the earth


until I die a twinge will always pinch

some part of my heart

but the silver cord is over me


like a sparking streetcar cable

and it is a matter of moments...instants...

before the cord is severed


and I rise over the fairgrounds

and look down on those who'll follow me

in their own good time


standing on a disappearing hill....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

how pleasing

to no longer

have to think about

the swinging hips of women


I see them and think

'they're trouble for someone else now'

more ecstatic that engaging that energy

is to watch it pass knowing I'm done








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I want to be done with all this

and I will be be


but I don't know when or where or how

but that an end is at hand


is enough to give me a comfort

nothing in the earth


has ever afforded me

and that's as close to gratitude as I can get for now








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you've got something to say to me?


don't waste your breath


I'm not listening

I'm too busy settling


my worldly affairs

to the best of my ability


if mortality overtakes me


then it's for the unfortunates who'll have to clean up after me....









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I worked all night

and when I was done


dawn wasn't even ready

to manifest


night work cannot be read and understood

during the day


so I sleep all day

and work like a soul below at night...


salutary...to say the least....







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

if you must worship

a mere writer

make it Kafka


he got it right


of course it won't matter

if you're as deep as a puddle

then you'll love the surface


like amoebas sliding across a slide







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I DEFY YOU

I defy you to find

the 'mercy' in the 'judgment'


if you think you can make

your own amends


you'll be sadly mistaken

only Vengeance obtains


only suffering under the merciless One

is the way to wipe the slate


and even then what a fool to say

'how blessed are we'


any self-laud will undo your suffering

and let you in for more


I defy you to find the love

in the loveless One







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

all I've lost in my passage through

this earth is still in my possession


the content of my being

is memory and memory holds


even more than I can consciously remember

so much more than I bank my sense


of well-being on and makes a mock of the small folly

of thinking all is lost...nothing is....






Content (c)2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I wasn't sure

so I didn't care

how I ended up

how I was going down


and now that I am going down

I'm pleased I'm holding steady

to how I see these last lengths

no terror to turn me coward


no sorrow at leaving a life

that was nothing but hell

except for those sweet vulnerable

little instants as fugitive as any joy


and these may still be in abundance

somewhere down the line





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

everything and nothing


what I hold in my mind is never lost

what I hold in my hand is barely remembered


what I hold is memory

the whole content of my being


ever inclusive and not missing

and not forgotten and ever


something and anything









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

it was a long time to wait

for death

I knew it could come

at any second

but who knew

how few and far

between

those seconds could be


even as they speed past

like moonlight

polishing a frosty window

they are still

few and far between

making only the wait long....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'll wait a bit

but I can't for much longer


we only have the time here

we are allotted


I wait for you as long as I can

but if I fail it will be


the unrelenting splash

carrying us beyond promises and hopes












Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

regret means nothing

sorrow is useless

think instead

of your next glorious chance

to succeed or to fail


and either way just as

useless or meaning nothing


no difference except that

it is for the instant


new







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BETWEEN STATIONS

just because every imbecile

is entitled to his say


doesn't mean we have to be

a captive audience for this crap


as if we were required to put our ear

up to the speaker and turn the volume


up full to the deafening distortion of this

jabbering between stations...


would dissent be as blessed and accepted....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SELF-EXAMINATION

watching children at play

makes me cry...


I know what they'll be in for...


oh wee wee wee how sensitive


ah...got me there...


forgive my reprehensible slide

into mawkishness...


sometimes I just want to be like

a normal...


oh wee wee wee never mind....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THANKSGIVING?

thanksgiving


so much to be thankful for

and so much not to be


but in a world

where a crust of bread


and a mouthful of

not-too-diseased water


is so scarce

it is cause for killing


to make such a fetish

of gratitude is like the lip service


of brotherhood as your eyes

avert a beggar


thankful for the imagined distance....










Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

SERVING SELF OR ANOTHER?

hard

soft

mean

kind


what's

on

your

mind?


don't

want

to

say


honesty'll

make

me

pay


a

price

I

can't


afford

well

then

that's


an

end

on

it


I

won't

ask

if


you

won't

say

and


why

if

it's

really


not

my

business

anyway


so

much

for

reaching


out

without

genuine

empathy


mean

or

kind

without


any

mind

to

tell








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I have diabetes

I have cirrhosis

I have cellulitis

I have a heart murmur

I have some fungal growth

around the head of my cock

and achy joints

and I'm tired all the time


and it's like

everything coming down

on my head at once

I can't hope

I can't wish

I can't plan

something in me

has run its course


and no mercy from the heavens

or my own healthful change of habits


give me a smoke and a drink

(some herb would be nice if you're holding)


I mean if I'm this fucked up

then why not run out the whole thread


I don't want to save myself

as an example of what to or not to do

and you'd resent it if I held

myself up like that

(I know I'd be)

just know this is my way

and we should both hope it doesn't

turn out to be yours....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

no rest here

in this beautiful earth


what seems a perfect dimension

is always before us


but unseen in the stresses

that distract us from our divine business


no rest here

nor was there ever meant to be


but for the moments of peace

that come between happenings


the moments outside of time

that manifest between one experience and another


no rest here

but for the brief instants of our realizations







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

we remember our true estate

fleetingly


between distractions

of doubt and remorse


but overcoming

these earthly blockages


is how we remember

our true estate








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

happy is the one

whose burden

dark and crushing

becomes light and weightless


in the faith in

one's own strength

to straighten the mind

to gut the illusion of unworthiness







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ignore what you cannot face

dismiss what you will not handle


it will not go away


it will be there to defeat you

in the end


so defeat it yourself

face it head on


so it will no longer have power over you








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

let sleep like a blanket

cover me up

warm me like the heater

of a long winter's night

and hide me away

until the final night passes

and the unending morning prove

my dream has awakened









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ETERNAL CITY NOCTURNE

warm pools of light

under every lamppost


on the frigid sidewalk

of the winter's night


lining the street

like breaks in the row


a trail of spots to the corner

knotted into the traffic light








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All right reserved.

people wait

for what is already theirs


and mourn the time wasted

not realizing their bounty








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

every moment of living

someone makes an exit


and a tribe is diminished

by that much


but the golden sun

the long shadows of afternoon


those things that plucked

certain strings on our instruments


they continue to reverberate

while each of us


awaits our time to go

and the permanence of that scene


makes it seems as if there is no time at all

but our very living....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

contemptuous wit

gives a shit


if it didn't

then it would be neither


and no one would care








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

INFERNAL COGS

your unimaginative mental functions

give you a place in the machine

and being mindless you're happy and proud

to be this infernal cog


if this is some divine necessity

filling out a term of process on our way

to stiff-necked unforgiving perfection

then don't bother yourself with me


I'll be happier to go than you'll ever be

to see me leave

sorry only to miss what your come-down will be

what shit your children will treat you as...


so long...I hate this plan

and I hate your world....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

THIS IS IRONY YOU STIFF-NECKED MOOKS

I'm thinking of having a lobotomy


I'm jealous of all the fools

who glide through life


wrecking everything they touch

and not giving a damn


while others have to clean up

after them


somehow that isn't selfishness...

even Martha was put down by Jesus


"hey...cool out...worship me...

I'm the Way and your dedication to duty


is getting in the way..."

I'm thinking of having a lobotomy


it looks like the only way to please the One....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

must leave

must go

but where?

but how?









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

MISCHIEF

mischief over and over again

a thinking person would despair

the world an operating room

our relations the lobotomy









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ANOTHER PAGE

Book of Life

turns another page

some antics

for another age


but the plot's the same

the story is old

and because we are stupid

it needs be re-told


so we hear again

the angst of the wounded

against the howling

of those vital unbounded


who bring stories to an end

only to tell them again







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

this chapter done

the next one to come

we do what we must

until we leave with the dust







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

how many endings

to any one story?


life after life

you rewrite your script


and though

the episodes vary


the endings

are never in doubt







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Miito. All rights reserved.

some middle ground

between near and far

between here and there

between what I’ve left

and to what I go on

I stand in

like at a bus stop on

a foggy night

thicker than wet plaster

in an unknown city

without a bus schedule

waiting for a bus

to take me

God knows where….









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I wanted you

to know I was sorry


and if that’s as far

as it goes


then at least

I am released







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

wide wings cover the sun


red eyes peer down

over the human landscape

without mercy

without any particular violence


as if power assured

this apparition could afford

its diffidence

as it scoped out its next intended


supplicant

a useless sacrifice in the growing shadow

swallowing all the ground under its advance

unstoppable as any sunset or moonrise


wide wings folding in the night





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

no matter

what went for ill or good


we all wind up here

in our decline


last leg of the home stretch

bringing the race home


and bouquets for all whether

for ill or good







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I didn't mean to hurt you

but intent is as nothing


I could not awaken you

to my reality


and all I could do

was disdain yours


and the love we did realize...


does it matter after all?

will it ever matter to a judgement

that ever finds us lacking


and for whom our best intent

is another joke of our selves?

how I wish our falsity were truth


how I wish love did make a difference







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

somebody nailed my ear

to a door

and now I'm forced to hear

every nefarious plan

God and his minions

are planning against us

in the name of righteousness

and the glory of some

intolerant perfection


this is my punishment

for being a little holy joe

my whole life wasted trying to attain

a simplicity as unforgivable

as a deliberate fart in the face of psychopathology







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

fire burns its brightest

just as it's about to go out


see in that flare

the rest of your journey


and proceed into the dark

know your eyes will adjust


the blackness itself until you return

to the very blaze at the root of fire








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

aren't you happy to see the world go to smash?


you're vindicated!

your placards and street-corner crankery

have been justified


your easy call for apocalypse

and destruction of all evil earthly order

has been answered in full flush of manic self-mysticism


but oh what a handful you will be

when the humble many climb out

of their shelters and begin to rebuild in the ashes


of what has gone before and you like petulant Jonah

will be pissed at the divine mercy that has spared us

yet again and upset your smug denouements


happy to see whose world go to smash?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I wonder how black

the blinding sunshine

when the cord is cut

and I'm released


like a lost balloon

to rise free and clear

of all that held me

tethered to my aches and shames


but best of all

oh very best of all


in that darkness of whitest light

my eyes will adjust

and I will see where I was recede

and its claims still to be accounted


but at least diminished






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

no one understands

another's suffering

like they do

their own hungers


and empathy

and compassion

padlocks on the heart

after all


no one understands








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. Al rights reserved.

all words are wasted


deaf with pride and power

no one hears anything


but their own machinery

clanking around


in their ears

and moving mouths silent


to all but the sayer








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

hard cut

for healing


bleed the

wound


flush the

pus


wash it

clean


and

disinfect


then just

kiss


the wound

you've paid


for









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

a newspaper horoscope

told me to be with those

who shared my values...

I stifled a laugh and coffee

spurted out of my nose...


no one I know

shares my values

which explains why some

hate me at first sight and others

love me...but not quite enough...


it's rough to be with those who don't get you...

and I have nothing but...whether lover friend or foe...


and people wonder why I want to die and go on...

or at least be left alone in some twilight to dream and pine....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ordinary cold creases the day


but it's about time

it's the middle of November

and we'd had a very mild Autumn


and I feel alive

for the first time in a month


absolutely love the cool and cold weather

(anything above 70 sets me off sweating

as if I were dunked in a pond

and left to drip on hot stones)


that's all I wanted to say

it may be nothing to the eternal Middle East madness

or mutant strains or the growing pathology of crowds


but it's my stay against the Plague for another day





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

this is the most peaceful

easy night in which

to go to sleep I've felt in ages


free of a life-long mythology

that did nothing but stay

and hamper each move


and how sweet to awaken at liberty

relieved from that morning-after

rue and guilt and fear that maybe I was wrong


no way that will prevail after so many years

wrestling with no demon but myself

and this is the poetry I make of it now


empty and calm as a biography fades

and the reader turns a new page







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

CREED FROM BEYOND THE PALE

guess I'll be seein' y'all

sooner than expected


a giant spike up my ass

has informed me


that the Almighty

is nowhere near


being done

fucking with me


this thing

is serious about


demanding obedience

and crushing who mocks it


who puts all responsibility

for good on us


then disregards it

and crushes us anyway...


if there is some utter transcendence

beyond the thing


where no loving amends

are destroyed for the sake


of some wild brutal force

whose perfection allows


no forgiveness

it must be by an absolute loss


of personality

since to be in the thing's creation


is to be in your own Outer Darkness...

so be the apple of some imaginary god's eye


be a pimple in the ass of this creation

be a shit stain on the floor of hell


you put yourself there

by being stupid enough to believe in a hating god


and not in a transcendence to which constant suffering

will release you


to which your soul will find its completeness

in the utter and total awareness


of sizzling vivid nothings...

may I survive to find this way out...done...


this is the perpetual field of play...

now True Metempiric Only One


what's the deal?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I've cried for release most of my life

and now I realize...realize fully that at last


my time is finally at hand...

this must be the way the majority of us die...


we have no more to say...(we've been redundant

for months and year for a fact)...nothing new...


nothing fresh...no love for the fevers

of the generation currently at prime...


so I finally calm down...finally find some

twitchy peace (oh the resentments of a life


do not totally die away...but they do soften

and find their place in the Akasha's laundry list


of karmic acts...oh the unforgiving bullshit of God...)

as long as I'm in the home stretch I can start gliding...


may I see all of you again in the Winner's Circle....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you can do nothing

but swallow shit


no amends you make

make any difference


the only way to pay

a karmic debt is eat God's shit


God's Vengeance unyielding

and unforgiving


give up your childish religions

and don't bank on the miraculous


don't expect to be forgiven

you pay you're price and are damned if you break


the "God of Goodness" will do nothing but make

you swallow shit....















Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I have nothing left of my past


but if I survive the carnage of its passing

will it be for what empty possibilities

of which I never could avail myself?


best I keep fears to myself

out of all dyings come new births


what will be in it for me? for you? for any of us?







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ICU

from NYU's ICU unit

you can see the 59th Street Bridge

but from where the bed is placed

and the equipment plugged in

you cannot see the ancient Pepsi-Cola sign


you could if you could stand up and walk

but you're tethered to an EKG machine

and punctured like a pin cushion with IV

pick lines of antibiotics

and you can do absolutely


without some nurse coming to help you

piss or shit or fetch something off a near-by table


some would appreciate such close monitoring

I think next time I'd rather die on the way to the hospital






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

in this pre-dawn window

I look out to the lit street

into the coming morning


I'm sure I'll rage and laugh again

alternately and concurrently

before this understanding of an

approaching end to this life

that seemed mere days ago

to be far in some unformed future


and now here it is and there it goes

and now here I am and there I go








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

how bizarre that after so much suffering

one feels an unstoppable urge to laugh









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

...as if anything mattered


after all you've sought for

and struggled to achieve

was snatched away from you

just as you were about to attain it...


don't praise unduly or be grateful

for your wreck...the only thing you'll learn

from it is pain...and that nothing matters....










Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I won't be sorry to leave a place

that broken me down

despite any amends I've made


the Heartless One

at the center of all that is

manifest and unmanifest


is infinite in everything

but mercy and forgiveness






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

another Friday morning

in God's World


with so many

drinking themselves to death


and so many others

stuck in bitterness


and regret

because the system


they bought into

is killing them by degrees


and they're too

invested to care


such is this Friday (and every) morning

in God's World








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

ingratitude

lies behind

your disdain

your condescension


leaving people sorry

they bothered to help


yes you'll get yours


but so what?











Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the chief virtue

is pathology


our world is

example enough








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

aren't you blessed among hedge funders?


you got away clean

in your own private airplane

heading to Costa Rica


and made it...


only postponing the inevitable

hanging in a cell....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

it's not that I think

I'm so much better


it's more like

you're so much worse








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I wish I could still laugh

at the follies of humanity


but the joke is so old and stale

and God knows they never stop


telling it....









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the fact that people think realists are negative

proves what a pitiful world we live in


when a social pressure for being positive

is thought to insulate people from their fears


I prefer to be sadder but wiser

rather than happier and stupid


but then I'm a realist

and who am I against so many?










Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

those we cannot hope to emulate

on any higher ground


are the exceptions to humankind

not the rule








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

give a man some power

and watch him fail every moral test







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

fools vote with their fears and their stupidity

the wise vote with their courage and their brains


that's why fools always win....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm not sure

if I'll return


but if I do

it must be for something else


the eons revolve

this past age has exploded


and dispersed us like seeds

to bloom in the arriving


dispensation...

if we are to return


it must be as something better

than we had been


or why bother striving?

what we had we ruined for ourselves


will the lesson finally be learned? the wisdom really gained?

let's join up with God and old gray beard Whitman


and those who came before and will come after

waiting for us somewhere....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you won't miss me

when I'm gone


forgive me

for being

too real


forgive me

for thinking

it mattered











Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

useless hope and trying

have finally reached an end


no more lonely crying

no pity left to spend


and what's to come looms larger

and tension is mounting


the time has come to face up

to this lifetime's accounting






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

anger

even when I'm cordial and friendly


so I'm told

in reproach


and nothing makes me

angrier than being


told this

in reproach





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

living in a dream

working in a dream

playing in a dream

loving in a dream

being born in a dream

dying in a  dream

sleeping in a dream


ending when Shiva wakes up







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I don't know or care what happens next


I am dazed in the blaze of daily hell

and that is how it works in this world


to have every good deed or amendment undone

while enduring the judgments of idiots


who need to walk a mile into the Wilderness

before they start to scream for their imaginary lives


and understand the hell of facing alone the Darkness of God








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

fool fool fool that I am

I am broken down in my price


and part of the price is to have

no amendment good enough


to call forth even a drop of grace

that's not the way it works


and it took a whole wasted life

to find this out (not wasted because I learned it?


fuck that

it doesn't stop the hurting)








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

as if I weren't fool enough


I keep hoping for

some kind of redemption


though everything's gone wrong

and there is no mercy in God for it


the inner wounded child keeps yearning against

the hard facts of the world


fool enough for so many more lifetimes









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm rocketing to the end of the line


with my worthless atonements

with my crazed ideas of paradise

with my unmitigated love of cunt

with my soul-deep sorrow at being in this world at all


and give up my mistaken notions of forgiveness

to rock every love and stone every fool


whatever God's judgement will be

this God sits there and weeps for us

and lifts no finger to help

but only to judge and punish


(our idiotic attempts at repentance atonement and amendment

worthless for not being perfect enough)


I'm rocketing to the end of the line

and grace and mercy and forgiveness can be what it is or not

I'm bowing in respect and love to every good soul

suffering under the tyranny of the Law

and goosing every ass bent over in presentation

(oh you impossibly alluring crazy women)


I've suffered enough

let the Boss do what the Boss will do in demanding

our love on pain of death

(the One has more to be forgiven for than to forgive us)


and if truth itself destroys us let it


I love life and I love love

and I'm rocketing to the end of the line


I'm finally ready to go






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

awake or dead to the world


nothing matters

nothing changes


you just live your life

and after it's done


you learn too late

what you should have done to atone


and that wouldn't've made a difference either






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I've stopped

talking to the sky


now there truly is

profound silence







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

been walkin' that

proverbial "long lonesome

road" for so long


it looks like I

haven't gone anywhere...


that's why I see

everything speeding past me


when I rest....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

oh how much

being with you

has brought down

on my head


lessons in patience

amends made in tiny ways

and love I sometimes feel

I'm not up to


simply because it's on my head






Content 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved

no need to run away

because we share the same feelings


that alone should keep us

from doing anything stupid







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I appreciate peaceful moments

like this


when the pain and the rages

subside


and a briefest instant of

peace


and clarity prevail to soothe

my mind








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'll have no mourning

when I go


if I'll be happy to go

why would you weep?


why would you not rejoice

for my happiness?


you'll follow me soon enough

so rejoice rejoice rejoice absurdly






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I won't try to get too close to you

I don't deserve any more misery

than I've already brought on myself


you won't be hurt for too long

go be someone else's trouble








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

why praise oppressors

or capitulate to power

frightened for our puny lives?


if you cannot kill them all

then game them smartly

until every king president


or corporate head goes home

wearing nothing but a barrel







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

there's a reason

the Egyptians

called the departed

"The Grateful Dead"


will you figure

it out before

it's your time

to go?








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

lost yet again


but not so lost

that I don't know


the way out....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

nothing we do matters

so it doesn't matter what we do


though we be mad as hatters

at least we'll see our madness through


and as for the unforgiving god

who punishes all in his preserve


if he winds up alone at the end of time

it will be what he deserves









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm glad that death

comes closer with each moment


I've had it with this

butcher shop of a world


this shithole of ghouls

preying on each other's


ambulatory corpses

I'm glad the end of this horror


draws near

no matter what sins for which


I'll be paying

but oh merciless and unforgiving god


how I do not look forward

to all the harm that'll come before I go









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

everyone digs their own grave


here


let me help you

tamp down the dirt

on yours










Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

thank you all

for dragging all of us down


even I've done my part


I wrote this....








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

it is more than odd

to do right

and still be done down

as if you did wrong


and nothing you can do

can change the mind

of the psycho

with an agenda


who'll cut you off

at the knees for their own glory...

yet the Source Itself ordains this

and lets outrageous evil flourish


top to bottom all the power-mad tyrants

assholes at best...scumbags at worst...and nothing for it....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you were a fool to believe

in a fairy tale that was

no more than a projection

of your weakest needs


your God an image of your own

filthy soul and your easy self-forgiveness

a pass on all the atrocities

you yourself created from which you thought


some higher power would rescue you







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

when I think of all

the good I've managed to do

only to see it all cast aside

as if it were nothing


can you blame me

for wanting to reach arms

into the sky to choke

God with my own hands?








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

empty of all illusions

you lie like an empty

thinking husk saying "fool it is

your own fault you lie here"












Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

you watch

the human traffic

scurry before your eyes


but you ignore

the raging clouds overhead

that affect the traffic


what good are you

if you don't know enough

to wear your slicker

in a storm?






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

no one wants to hear

any of this


everyone

a king or a queen


everyone

a power onto themselves


everyone

deaf to the roar of their ends








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

oh make no mistake


the time of the Change

has swept through

and our miseries are

no more than we facing


the consequences of our folly

and discovering the hard way


how little grace will fix our mistakes








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

all lives are holy

all souls are blessed


but you sure wouldn't know it

living here in the earth


torn and battered

in confused and refused


attempts to amend we proceed

as the heartless love of the One


makes it so easy to fall

and so nearly impossible to rise and return






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

things go on in the heavens

of which we are ever unaware

and when some crazed crank announces

the Absolute it gets so hard to care


let some myopic mystic instruct his abstraction

"as above so below" is what we endure

and even then I'd be forced to say

"well that I'm not quite so sure"







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

the wisdom of life

is to continue

to proceed no matter

what past idiocy

has set up that on which

we stumble

or what further

dopey moves will

knock us askew

down the line


look at us

me talking to you

a writer to his

random audience

the mere fact that

we're here shows

we're not there yet


as it were






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

and so the luminous gray

of a rainy autumn day

actually draws me out

of my gloomy mood of doubt


about any worth of effort we show

it makes it so much easier to go

on our next move in the instant we'll face

in a chilly wind hale and bracing







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

insist on your own way

and you'll get it


just know it won't be quite

the paradise you were expecting






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

if I should love again

in the young hot way

in the old blind way


may I be strong enough

to follow my passion without shame

may I be wise enough


to love without hurting others

for my own weakness of love






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I had such a hot dream last night

I woke up with a hard-on

harder and stronger than

I've had in years...


all I remember now is

looking out of a window in some dark cabin

to see up close on the porch

a lithe girl...her back to me...

pulling the legholes of her leotard

(like a dancer...and yes...yes...

there were leg warmers too...)

up between the crack of her ass

like a wedgie

and beginning to peel down

her top...


that's all...


but enough for make a serious erection

at 2:30 am

leaving this dream image burned into

my daily awake conscious mind


a muttered "what the fuck?"

barely audible

breathed out through my teeth

while I stare at the streetlamp shadowed ceiling....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

old habits break us

when we try to break them...


"don't start in the first place"

is advice heeded of not...


but useless if you're already there

and no one really escapes some snag


so advice like this always sounds...as we used to say...

like medicine after the funeral






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

habit forces me

back into living


I gave up on life

but I didn't die


my heart beat on

in spite of myself


being all the cost

of a wisdom lost







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I gave up


it was the wisest

thing I've ever done






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I do not go off into some wilderness...

I do not declare a box to be out of...


the whole world

is a slaughter house


and I do not have to go anywhere....






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

birds trace grace

in invisible sectors in the sky


it is our vanity's punishment

that we've been denied wings to fly






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

blessed are those comfortable

in their bubbles


their blessings are to be

too stupid to know


how much their stupidity

guards them from savage reality






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

enjoy or despair

of your lives


it doesn't matter

what you do


you'll learn some lesson

you'll gain some wisdom


and all of it will be trashed

in the grinding process of living






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

stupidity will out


look at Authority

and look at those oppressed


by that brute force in an agony

of chaos that supposedly grinds out


some meaning or teaches some lesson


here's the price and here's the lesson

you're through no matter what you do






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

is there anything else

we love and cherish

that hasn't been snatched

away from us

bit by shattering bit?


I have nothing left to lose

and nothing more to gain

I'm dead in the water as life will decree







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

VANITY WILTS LIKE STRAWBERRIES IN THE COLD

my work will be on the earth

as long as the earth lasts


or not

Sappho wrote volumes


and all that remains

are two nearly


complete poems and about

a hundred fragments


maybe you should ignore the opening to this piece....









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

singing the blues

for those who are dear


singing the blues

for those who are near


singing the blues

for those in fear


singing the blues

for any who'll hear








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

MY LAST MUSE

enter the fray my

last muse

I would have it no other way

zipping over the mesas to

add to my stamina of vision

before wisps of corruption

enter this soul who so yearns

the intervention of your power

hot as earth’s core and sultry as the sun


come quickly as you may or can

add to my soul and replace its losses

my heart sought you in every form

and lost you again in every dissolution

come again to renew this spirit

hopeless in dedication to the creativity

owed entirely to your choosing me at all








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

dead to the world

but still alive

in eternity


I’ve reached the point

of wondering if I

even want it anymore


much as I love life

I lose all strength for its bullshit






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I can’t stand

the brunt of my price


the unforgiving almighty

is gouging it


like a glutton gutting

tripe out of a pig’s innards


and swallowing

the entire tangle whole





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

BLACK HOLE AGAIN

black hole again?

dark night of the soul redux?


outer darkness descending

expanding its parameters


to all creation?

so-called Christ Almighty


I might as well unpack

my grip and just stay there





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.