so

much

to

explain

and

nothing

you

would

want

to

hear

about...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

unfortunately for the

overly-sensitive soul

memory is the content

of the soul and no experience

is ever lost--so when we lose

our way forward

all we can do is fall back on

everything that brought us to this point--

even if we didn't get

what we thought we wanted--

and this hurts the most--

the gaping hole where a want--a need--

a love that should have been

was not--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

there is little left to hate you for...

you pulled your shit

and I pulled mine--

and here is what I love the most...

you're stuck in your shit

and I'm free from mine

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

two incomplete portions

joined in one imperfect lie--

we don't know anything

but our side of the tale

(and even then--not always)

but oh we only know

what we know--which is

nothing at all---

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

screw the ones who wouldn't take me

and fuck the ones I couldn't have--

it's only the love that finally came

that gives me strength to dismiss these damned assholes--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I am at a loss to say

what one way or the other

will lead me to--

but then I'm not beholden

to the urgings of

good decent folk--

those murderous maws

yammering for security

without whom no tyrant

can triumph--

I have nothing with them

but the same yawning void--

and these sad pronouncements

of sorrow and of pride

are merely my way

of ruining the air--

finding (there is no negative value)

what I am at a loss to say--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

this is how we say good bye here on earth--

always with the notion

that we will just be gone a few minutes

and will be right back--

how many said that

not knowing until later

that who you told 'see ya later'

has gone--died--moved--is ashamed--hates you--

and lifetimes yet before some ultimate reunion...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

Well I spoke

and a piece of the sky didn't fall on me--

unless coming from so high up

it did and has yet to reach me

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I

want to

wrap up some

old business but it

keeps unraveling when I try

to tie the knot tight

so old business becomes new

the harness good and

the blade sharp--

forward I

cut

*

I am so rarely good

but never as bad as I think I am

except when I try to draw

some lesson from it--

*

so this is how it all comes out--

forget all the weatherman interpreters

of bibles and korans

and mayan myths--

these books aren't prophecy

they're accurate depictions

of life in the earth AS IS

easy then to say 'so this is how

it all comes out'

the struggles

aren't evil

they are just the processes

of the world as fashioned

and each of us alone must find the way out--

do not think too hard about it

'he who would save his life will lose it'

give it away

if you would know

such increase as

enlightenment--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

no

honor

anywhere--

the ravening beasts are loosed--

pity the brute

killing

everyone

he sees

because

his

maniacal world of hate

is slipping away from him--

pity also

the

radiant free souls

expecting

a totally transformed world

for they will do nothing

but what has ever been done--

work the earth

to feed all

and being shat on

for doing so--

the only manifestation of holiness

in the pained grace of their sorrow--

a great change of mind will change the world--

'n' we ain't there yet...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I

am

the

end

of

the

old--

the

world

has

had

my

time--

I

had

my

time

and

miss

it

so

much

I

cannot

go

forward--

but

souls

of

a

time

must

do

their

time

and

while

they

cling

to

the

time

they

are

in

I

am

the

end

of

the

old

at

least

for

the

next

25,000

years

at

least--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

beseiged--

the wolves abound--

beast unleashed

evil discarnates must be back

for the big showdown

starting right now with

earthquakes and tidal waves

under the eclipses's shadow

while a dry Euphrates

crumbles farther west

and the ravenings have begun in

earnest--

God grant we who'll none of it

meet safe on the other side--

what else can a soul do as it's whirled

around the culmination

of a Grand Plan's process?

as we can only say

meet safe on the other side--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

no oafs please

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

giving last rights

to a misguiding dream

that sealed a fate

so many years before

would take more grace

than available to me

I confess and acquiesce

anoint the fiasco

and close a door...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

in proud tears we wash the wound

and in weary vacancy puddle into the tomb

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

no hurt is so unhealing

as pride

and our defects dictate

the state

of our cure and its scab

the lesson

our memory ever effusive

of reasons

why we had to or not

what our

motives our justifications

our explanations

are due our own recovery--

pride-halted wholeness...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I see it will be a while yet before all

the forces are deployed and humanity sink or swim

by its own degree of holiness--

but how's that different from any other time alive

on this ever-rickety world--arm out

the hand grabs a side the legs and feet kick and churn

and buoyance afforded the physiology of the will?--

I see it will be a while before we even think to wonder...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

pale at last before the spreading curve of growing sun

slicing away finely the edges of night

I feel for the mournful dawn of youth

(the young LOVE the night LOVE its cover

LOVE its release) when they will awaken

naked like all before at one time or another

and know the seductive power of memory

pale at last before the first tip glowing over the water--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I will have no more to do

no more to say

no more to care--

if someone wants me

let them look

at the leaves--

at the sky--

at the eyes of their lover--

I won't mind--

I will have no more to do

no more to say

no more to care--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I said goodbye

because I wanted to--

there was nothing to be gained

by overstaying my welcome

and watching the warm friendly feeling

cool to a dismissed formality--

but then its so easy to be friendly

when you don't have to give of yourself

too generously--so easy to disregard the whole

charade of good company when it gets to close

for you to control--better hope that troll

to whom you're engaged will be endless in service

you might have to find out the hard way

you overspent your faux good will and better settle--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

try not to let your sense of perfection ruin anything

I know its hard for you

not to touch

not to obsess

not to get involved

in what is not your business

except to the degree

to which you think it or

anything is your business--

no--

you who can't leave well enough alone--

you must trust

One knows better than you

how the sun must rise

and how the earth strains up to meet that

perfection--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the return to earth

is always the hardest experience

of the soul

you've done what you had

in the world to do

it stands quietly

in its own being

and you have no other reasons

to which to look forward

and just when your moment of departure

rears up

and your soul feels the tug

of the cord and lifts

out of its accomplished human shell

a thought occurs

and the light to which you are carried

is no longer quite so

blinding and beautiful

because the awareness sets in that

not all you've done in the earth

has succeeded

in the eyes of the One--

and so not quite admonished

but lovingly tended

and soothed by attendant souls

who remember the awful

material world

with its beauties and joys--true--

but also its scars and

disappointments--easing you back

into the dimension

just outside earthly living--

you rest meditate and

aid others through the veils dividing

the worlds--

oh then--then when

it is time to go back for

the atonements and the lessons--

the soul rises and comes

to drink deeply

of the waters of forgetfulness--

to forget the loving peace of the

spirit world--

to forget the bundles of sin

that have accumulated

from earthly life to earthly life

so their weight won't crush

this lifetime's effort to atone

and to learn--

to forget all enticements

that would bewilder and mislead

the soul from its purpose--

then the soul rises--

awareness blank as a void--

and is drawn to its next vehicle--

its next human identity--

then--then

the bittersweet ache of being

alive in the earth

will well up in memory--

the pains and the joys

drawing down the soul

then--the soul

undergoes

its hardest experience--

the knowledge

of unlimited life--

limited to this particular

body--

its being--its place in the world--

the time of its duration--

one more time

into yet another breach

for One who created us

for some reason--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I will pay for much that much I know

but I for the most part enjoyed it

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

now see what you've done--

everything was great

until you went and repented--

now you kneel in a dark box

talking to a priest playing with himself

while you confess made-up sins

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I give you plenty to dwell upon--

see--I'm not the only one without a clue

but I don't let it bother me anymore--

I've been flummoxed for life awaiting

this new world manifesting--

the Lord"s Day feels like any other day to me--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the turning has been made--

our geography shifts around us

and we spiral

up or down hardly matters

all our previous directions flow into one channel

invisible unwalled yet intractible

and we follow it--vast nothingness before us

and no sight of what was left behind the turn...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito

I gave up misguided effort

and drifted with the current--

oh make no mistake--

it DID take work to stay afloat

and people--because they avoid their interiors--

have no clue of the negative way--that is

paring away at what is NOT to arrive

at an approximation of what IS--

so don't think I ducked something--

nobody gets away with ANYthing

you just learn different things than those

who bravely rest on the surface and never have to face

those depths until their time is called

and the cosmic riptide pulls them away to wherever...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I wound it up

it came unwound

so I unwound it

it stayed unwound

a lesson in materiality

where spirit is energy

and informs the dynamic--

as is

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

within each moving cell of the blood

a million Calvarys nurture

the sacrifice of creative process--

the soul on its own cross of body

bleeding through tiny daily wounds

pouring in its sweat of existence

that nurturing blood that is

100% Living Water...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

there is no hope for the romantic--

his imperfect love will

feel every rough edge in creation

and feel his glory a dupe for his pride

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I renew my vows every day--

to focus actively on others--

to celebrate their uniqueness--

to be at one with a program of kindness--

but tomorrow will be a day

when vows will change--

and earth will reassert--

isolation--sameness--and ennui--

tomorrow I'll be in a changed world--

charged awareness scouring

ramshackle ruins for ghosts of the fearful

clinging to their plots--

tomorrow new vows--

to admit life as is--

to realize essence in each waxing and waning form--

to prize the peace unknown to our ordinary minds

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

just a shortness of mind

dominating a reason a purpose

a new application to transform these gifts

a growing inability to process rational thought--

or just ballyhooing excuse for sloth

mind still shrewd enough to clock its audience

check its pulse for result of exalted chant

step into the empyrean and beat it quick

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

am caught in torrent

spinning until I'm sick

throw me that rope

that line that necessary hook

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

I do not lack for imagination

but am somewhat stymied in application

spirit needs a body to work

said the mother of skies

but this body only holds

a soul and it has curdled

from too much mother's milk

too much bound

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

a man will always blame a woman for his misfortunes

*

oh agonies of heart (cue the thunder and the rolling ship)

she done him wrong

she just no good

she scream and scatter and rant and impose

her will like a grate of iron

oh agonies of heart

how dear the bottle...the immense imagination

and the saving grace of fallen pride--

*

let us break the spell

she's hell and so are you

whatever your slights

and miscues

you both have a handle

(deux ex bungee)

on the magic that

breaks the spell...

Contents (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

now time has finally disappeared

and my life is my act

and my act is its own end--

I am at the mercy of morons

being a moron

pompous teacher

who could not teach--

(shame is a great corrective

and if holiness were vast as shame

it would be honest--

it WOULD be justice tempered with mercy--)

zo all god's chillun be morons?

man dat ain't all--

sarcasm will belittle irony

but being a moron

I cannot teach and could not try

I learn by osmosis and take forever to die--

but I'm free to bark and rage and rant

and I'll do it even if my neighbor can't--

all I do is me and done

as time now finally disappears

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito

enough to do

without the uncertainty

of result--

the moment dead

with only a dull summer moon

inching across my immobility

while I await the outcomes

of occasions I'd forgotten I'd

initiated in dim expectation

of advantageous apocalypse--

even my spirit mind lacks strength

and hands enough to hold at bay

what rains down--while I waste the day

running around as if juggling watermelons

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

a new chapter has opened

in this book I'm writing--

the page will remain blank for a bit--

I'd like to say something so utterly new

it would deafen all who hear it--

blind all who read this nearly ineffable content--

strike dumb and senseless the impure heart

with all possibility--

so I break a mirror for the sake of no distractions--

no reminders to pull me back into old speech--

thus the page will remain blank for a bit--

all I have is a broken mirror

and nothing to say...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

another lifetime

I'll regret this one--

meanwhile I'll struggle

the ever-failing struggle

to get it right--agape over eros--

sharing over hoarding

trying not to regret this lifetime

in another one--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the air cool and crisp

(going back to school weather--though it was

August 4th)

in the pale twilight--she came out of Alexander's

on Fordham and the Concourse--

brown haired young beauty

who ignored us as she passed the project bench

that was the center of our social world--

our eyes met for a second and she turned and walked

south toward 188th--

I floated back for the early friday evening hanging-out--

the hijinks particularly spirited that night--

and later in bed--her my total awareness

as a last quarter moon rose outside my window

37 years ago...

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the world as I know it

morphs in dimensions

I couldn't imagine despite knowledge

there are other dimensions

the totality so beyond our awareness

it is a blank dusty summer sky

twitching in the nerves--

and the eye merging into the view--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

the runes sing of ruins--

their instruction disregarded

by the proud and the impatient--

so sing an image of God

to which you can hurl your curses--

proud and impatience--

the insistence and empty satisfaction

the soul's suicide--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

odds favor the negative

in many lives

and in many hopes--

results justified

then--a flourish--

the poor little soul was right after all

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milio.

feeling at a loss

can't handle the freedom

for some reason

that slipped into me

the last time I fell

now what I loved

is gone and what I want

is stale and this is the loss

strangling my love of freedom

that stays my heart from its joy

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

hot summer morning at last

the sun diffused haze on the road-

the slanting sunlight on the brickface

puddles of people spilling like fingers

of mercury reaching along each other's curbs

all noise a silence--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

cries echo through the violet twilight--

lovers return from the fields they've blessed

with their loving--

coming into the firefly lamps of the town--

the cool of the evening

the soothing peace of day's rest--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

years of studying the seamless sky

reveals the nuts-and-bolts of process--

the stars galaxies black holes--

holding together God's thought--

so far beyond my own comprehension

I would best be dumb and empty

the better to see what node I denote--

what thought is my contributing process--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

mind confined to the brain in the skull--

reaches out no farther than that

but simply to ACT--DO--tend to business

and be DONE--a space ever cleared

for the unstoppable incoming--

for life is purposeful--and a mother

of the skies says spirit can't work without a body--

held back to bring into being what mind creates--

bring it out slowly--materialized out

of the fingertips--polished and ready

to last its term--

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

god continues

to punish me

for not being

Job enough--

easy work--

and a payday

for All

but me

Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.