fool fool fool that I am

I am broken down in my price


and part of the price is to have

no amendment good enough


to call forth even a drop of grace

that's not the way it works


and it took a whole wasted life

to find this out (not wasted because I learned it?


fuck that

it doesn't stop the hurting)








Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

as if I weren't fool enough


I keep hoping for

some kind of redemption


though everything's gone wrong

and there is no mercy in God for it


the inner wounded child keeps yearning against

the hard facts of the world


fool enough for so many more lifetimes









Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I'm rocketing to the end of the line


with my worthless atonements

with my crazed ideas of paradise

with my unmitigated love of cunt

with my soul-deep sorrow at being in this world at all


and give up my mistaken notions of forgiveness

to rock every love and stone every fool


whatever God's judgement will be

this God sits there and weeps for us

and lifts no finger to help

but only to judge and punish


(our idiotic attempts at repentance atonement and amendment

worthless for not being perfect enough)


I'm rocketing to the end of the line

and grace and mercy and forgiveness can be what it is or not

I'm bowing in respect and love to every good soul

suffering under the tyranny of the Law

and goosing every ass bent over in presentation

(oh you impossibly alluring crazy women)


I've suffered enough

let the Boss do what the Boss will do in demanding

our love on pain of death

(the One has more to be forgiven for than to forgive us)


and if truth itself destroys us let it


I love life and I love love

and I'm rocketing to the end of the line


I'm finally ready to go






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

awake or dead to the world


nothing matters

nothing changes


you just live your life

and after it's done


you learn too late

what you should have done to atone


and that wouldn't've made a difference either






Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

I've stopped

talking to the sky


now there truly is

profound silence







Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

been walkin' that

proverbial "long lonesome

road" for so long


it looks like I

haven't gone anywhere...


that's why I see

everything speeding past me


when I rest....





Content (c) 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved.

oh how much

being with you

has brought down

on my head


lessons in patience

amends made in tiny ways

and love I sometimes feel

I'm not up to


simply because it's on my head






Content 2008-2014 Philip Milito. All rights reserved