lust like tearing tides

turmoil of frustrated heart

and unsettled disheveled mind

seeing the glowing damn thing

before me in sight

and nothing I would use

to get to it and realize it working

in art or detached meditation

or even in its basic element

of churning loins and ecstatic spout

---oh the heavens in my head

a fury lately and all the hell I want to do

is heal myself of a life battered and beaten

by precisely this needful nerve uproar

     and I spill in an unmerciful

eddy of nerves the only jitter

on a Zen lake of limpid sustenance

a mockery just by being all that 

I would wish to be--

but the wish not enough--

nor the desire that upends

the Will--

lost for the moment

to the perfect breasts and ass and legs

of a faceless perfect woman

and found after in the  limpid lake

storm passed on but unchanged

in its tattered float--

                                                                               *

I will grope my way forward--

I'll go as far as there are walls to guide--

after that I spill with everything else in this world

in unmerciful flux--and end where I will--right near where I began--

                                   Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

have nothing serious to fret--

did all I could to amend--

I'm glad I made it this far and no farther

happy the measure is complete--

                                                                             *

so much--

thought of you drains all strength

and I've no reason to believe

it could be otherwise--

pity the fool who worships

his imagination--he learns

hard that it torments

so much--

                                                                             *

for this moment I am free

but only because this moment has passed--

                                                                             *

think on it

and then     forget

your harrowing hasn't

happened yet--

                                                                            *

all best to believe--

and so easy

                                                                            *

such is the world

that visionaries found businesses

and that clerks run them into the ground

                                                                           *

no one misses you

after a while

     people should

be grateful

                                                                          *

again the fool

but I knew it

and I find

the irritation sweet

                                                                         *

                     Content (c) 2008-2009  Philip Milito

anxiety

thick as southern air--

swamp mist and iron rain-

falls into my muscles

like venom--

my flesh liquid as wish

fulfilling physics

into its down-dropping

surge toward  Will

pooling like a stasis

in the brain pan of a 

some fake mystic

who never saw past his

move through the gunnels

of some heavenly terrace

he imagined once to be

his vision of the Infinite--

     here only does even

the anxious ignorance

wash down  fresh as

blooming in a yard of one's own

acquiescence

                                                                              *

what heart now to broach

on the question of loneliness--

none

no one is alone--

no one need say a thing--

only

the heart would do so

that did not know itself

                                                                          *

                         Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

gray again

animals two by two

waddling on the curb

now I'm worried

                                                                            *

weak and empty...

                                                                           *

air dense as plaster

the body merges with mist

                                                                          *

no light in the apartment

save the dull milky

morning light

       a sheen on the walls

an uplit gradation

along the ceiling

                                                                          *

I slog in step   daily

when will my life resume?

I know for fact

others feel like this

equally helpless

to face the old life  gone

and the new one 

forming around

the defining wound

as if it were done

before it'd begun

each step measured

the pace adjusted

and grind in place

daily just to gain an inch

                                                                              *

                       Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito

Rinsed in violent rain--

Refreshed heart

In weary beaten waves

Where all remains--

                                  

                                                                            *

My mouth moves

Mimicking silence--

     Were I as wise

As I posit--

                                                                           *

I follow her flesh--

Spirit seeking spirit

                                                                          *

One listens

Hears nothing

Is satisfied

                                                                         *

In the warm thrust

Of ecstasy--

Pure consciousness 

Of being--

Souls seek what mates

They find

And ascend together

Kind with kind

                                                                             *

ALL IS LIGHT!!!!----

except where

all our

shadows block...

      

                                                                            *

There is nothing

--And therefore

    A place for

Everyone and thing

                                                                          *

I would have you

Ever with me

Wherever in body

We are

                                                                        (these words for Ali xoxo)

                                                                         *

extras:

I saw past

The boundaries

     And was paralyzed--

Now past

Paralysis--body has

     Caught up to mind--

Slow movements of age

     Finally in step

                                                                           *

I woke again

to stale fate

as if a change

of world happened

while I slept--

Even the pigeon

cooing outside

this window

peers in

as reprimand

     "I peck

at crumbs

and shit

on cars

and statues--

what do

YOU do?"

                                                                                *

                       Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito.

delve into nothingness

there's more to it than you realize

  

                  Content (c) 2008-2009 Philip Milito

another drive-by...

he just went

out to get

Q-Tips

                                                                              *

                            Content (c) Philip Milito 2008-2009