Wednesday, January 27, 2016

full circle

I walk each morning

as I did when young

not as quickly but no less

determined to strive

and each morning is a new

view of the unknown worlds

beyond this one

be assured for all the surface changes

the blueprints still posit a

foundation that endures under all form

timeless and unmeasured as these worlds

I walk beggaring all eschatologies

in the full light of permanent morning

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
no one awake in Europe

reading me at this moment

but all this will be gathered

by who can receive it

it will always be around

one way or another

lying silent until some eye finds it

and some ear begins to hear it speak

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
I wanted this time to come

for most of my life

and now that it's come

there are fewer regrets

than I thought there'd be

if only because even then

I was going through the motions

knowing it would be here in a (long) instant

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.


often people who believe in God

tend not to believe in themselves

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
the torments of the body

have replaced any desire

to go and about

in the strength of youth

for youth is no longer mine

and my body betrays me

every morning I stagger

to get up and hit the bathroom

whoever I was is inside me

looking out my eyes

and uttering cruel oaths

in the view of the mirror

wishing the torments of the mind

would ease me out in accelerated time

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
happy for years

hand out to help

sublime in the shade

of an old bending tree

yet a sorrowful mood

pervades of all

the unhappiness between

these golden days of praise

for the years finally run out

and not all hands were lent

in a spirit of aid and compassion

under smudged days of lament

as for the space beyond happiness

the numb knowledge all is never what it seems

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

now what do you want

that you haven't already taken?

now what trophy to adorn your mantle

to assure you of your living?

and why oh why oh why

does this god of ours allow you free reign

as it crushes and punishes any penitent

while you act as this god vehicle of vengeance?

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

on this january 26

I stand here

in the permanent instant

and fret january 27


it won't be different

(how could the eternal

be other than it is?)

and when I'm mired in

january 27

what will I long for

that will be other than the despair

of pondering god and the wondrous

paradoxes that kill us little by little daily?

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
there is no death

you can send yourself to perdition

if your hatred of God

is so intense

you can destroy yourself

if you cannot handle the inherent hypocrisy

of all these 'wondrous paradoxes'

that constitute God's 'wonderful' plan

but there is no death as such

there is no end to life

the question then becomes

are you up to this merciless trek to what end?

are you up the malignant majesty of this Supreme Psycho?

is it a good thing then if there is no death?

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Sunday, January 24, 2016


here at my end of time

spent in this savage butcher shop

we laughingly call the world...

I have no problem letting all the hurt

and anger and regret and despair

get behind me...

do what you will and let God

keep the tally? fine with me

we can't win here anyway...

but I at last come to my time

of aging out into whatever Great Unknown...

life continuous with or without us...

spent in this savage butcher shop

we laughingly call the world....

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
bury the anger and the madness

it will kill you well before

you land a scratch on your enemy

accept the failure of your forgiveness

and try again to detach from the load

God would have you pay for endlessly

at least until you unconsciously transcend

and leave your enemy to his own reckoning

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.


crows on a wooden fence

the black jagged outline

of the forest's edge

in the deepening twilight

I distinguish them in time

to see them merge black into the night

and I walk home with bats

squeaking above me

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

you've taught me my place

you've put me down

and I'll be there to catch you

when it's your turn to drop

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
I've passed the word

if you didn't hear it

it's no loss

I'm not sure what

I'm saying

and you seem

too stupid

to get it

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

so here I am at land's end

gray roiling clouds and wet winds

off the sea and sky

ready to go deeper

into the darkness until I come out

the other side into eternal Light

no Viking breastplate nor

a common wetsuit

as though I'd dive for pearls or treasure

just the shaky raft leading me

to what edge of seasickness

here at land's end

another fool trying to remember

what the Infinite is about and trembling....

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
pity always the dreamers…

they do not realize

they are entrusted with holy matter…

they can’t understand

they are closer to angels

than they realize and that

the real dream is life itself….

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

in the blinding light

we think we see angels approach

but in the shadow of their arrival

we see the horrid batwings of judgment

and we don't know what to feed them

for leniency's sake

and find out their idea of feed

is all the crap in our souls we'd disown

one way or another we are naked in reckoning

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

tiny feathers of snow

swirl in the cold gray air

nothing is solved

but everything is progressive anyway

I've been brought to know

life will find and take you where

your pain will be resolved

and toward that (I hope) I am on my way

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

next one knows what will happen next

but you will have no say about it

you make your moral choice

in the instant of action

then it's out of your hands

and all the strength of right you possess

will have to do to withstand

the consequence of desire

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
let us praise our heroes

the real ones

who nurse the injured

who look in at elderly neighbors

who help lost children

who stand their ground

when the World-As-Is

makes hash of every good intention

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
I did not know

you survived the crash

to join a new world

of haves and have-nots

and somehow lost

your last understanding of

how destructive your wish

to keep looking for advantage

when everything turns on a dime

and suddenly nothing you banked on

is left but yet another way out....

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

how will future generations classify

the bones of current humans?

will they recognize their forerunners

as such or as freaks who broke

the chain of evolution to become

their own gods only to pass

transitory into another form

as common as billion-year-old energy

looking for new forms to manifest?

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
morons and geniuses

have an equal opportunity

to botch their simple roles in the earth

the geniuses have a million excuses

while the morons stare befuddled

and neither can reconcile their limited

consciousness to the intractable Reality

that judges the more and the lesser

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
love is a butterfly

smashed against a rock

a mash of colorful wings

and black jam of thorax and abdomen

and compound eyes watching

a fading disappearing sight

go to black while we mourn

the promise of renewal so easily denied

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
if I knew what I was doing

I'd be elsewhere now

still as screwed as I know how to be

but at least elsewhere

and even that's a false dream

because there's no elsewhere

there's only here and now

and you and I know that the hard way

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

some days I can accept Life and God

as it and the One actually are

other days I rage at the heavens

for its lack of mercy

unwilling to forgive us for being taken

by liars speaking in the name of the One

but then I'm finding it easier to let go

since all of us suffer from the same rotten deal

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
I don't need a reason to live

I'm alive

and all the shit

that goes with it

is enough for me

to want to take that life

except there's no death

(except the final one

when time's up and those

who stayed selfish

go to perdition

and are wiped out as if

they'd never existed)

and still a life beckons....

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Monday, January 11, 2016

entire days lost

in earthly activity

it soothes the spirit

to seek out the night

and rest

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
this afternoon in mid-winter

the weight of life

grows heavy with

remorse and self-delusion

fading like wisps of smoke

in the dry air

of someone's tomorrow

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
each slow day-by-day

the light lengthens

entering the next season

and after all climaxes

of winter's reckonings

the low leaning light

would make one feels as if

this were the Ancient Light of Heaven

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
love in itself

cannot die

but it can be


and no one lover

is wholly guilty

or wholly innocent

in that endeavor

and if either finally

acknowledges his or her fault

love itself can be healed

it can be mended

because in itself it

cannot die

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

I wake from one dream and into another

so when Shiva awakens

all dreams will end

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
mind body and soul

throbbing in the hidden heart

penance and pleading

but why with nothing left to say

keep on writing

while anyone yearning

to endure would know on sight

I write I write to keep feeling alive

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
I did my best

to make amends

but you will not


and a moment

of anger ends

the concord in which

we'd live

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Saturday, January 9, 2016

life around me is a blur of vision

and a cacophony of pride and disdain

welcome to a new era that is really

no different than previous ones

but always under the surface play

an energy paces us to our fates

we run the race set before us

and we give gratitude if we make at least the run

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Militop.

Friday, January 8, 2016

the edges of my sight

flake and flutter away

taking the scenery with it

and I absolutely myself

and facing the darkness again

made of nothing but what God gave me

as all said has been delivered

with the Light beyond my sight all there is

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

sorrow like the night

covers the morning

a black sun

in a blazing halo

we will blind

ourselves to see

and know nothing more

than that

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

well who knows when

the Ultimate End will occur

we are alive until then

and whether we rejoin the One

is as much for our selfless endeavors

to transcend ourselves utterly

as it is the One having the last word

may it include us...may it include us....

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
oh release will come at any time

and oh the misery in waiting for that release

and how much more damage endured

for the sake of the unforgiving One

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
I'm just another fool

who put his faith in love

and wound up old and bitter

with love a worn delusion

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
law protects the guilty

just ask any hard-working

moral citizen

who break their asses

so some power-mad pieces of shit

can take it from them

in the name of some blood-stained

notion of entitlement

it's enough to curse and despair over

why the One would allow this

but the One is a King so no soap there

as has been said to live outside the law

you must be honest

well just how honest matters to kings and heavenly thugs?

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
what is best does not last long

not sunsets or mild twilights

or moments of love

not shadowed by bitternesses

or self-defeating terrors

but then what is worst

also passes quickly

joy and sorrow temporary as

the trances in which we choose to live

and now this instant passes

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
trust is hard come by

once you've awakened

and found you haven't ever

trusted yourself

so how can you expect

other than the deceit you've given out?

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
still trying to come to terms

with doing what's right

and suffering unmercifully over it

lessons lost in the punishment

ignorance fading away into emptiness

and to be lost with all you thought

would be beneficial only to turn out

meaningless as your wondering

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
you will not be loved

if you open your mouth

and tell the truth

you'll lose friend family and lover

and find the hard way

the futility of reason

you'd better learn where to hide

when the futility of truth leaves you for dead

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

all I know could be fit in a thimble

and still some misled fool

would call me 'genius'

without knowing I may be

no better than he is

but do not share his intractable

pride that blocks the very way he'd go

while I stumble else bewildered at such things

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
nothing more to be done for now

now will the restless will

find rest from all its ignorant

so it may see what will be done hence

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
empty this moment

all we add to it is transitory

which is but a small swatch

of the eternity we imagine

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

lips meet a last time

in the hospital room

and then the division

of soul from soul

just a little while

but by power of love

a pain of loss for what gave

our loss meaning and our pain its gravity

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
watching the short day disappear

night has its dominion

over these eyes

but the short day worms

its way to greater length

and soon the warmth of spring

will tie in if not dispense with

the slowly shrinking night

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
there's always plenty left to do

but you are not obligated to complete it

you do your share of it and the rest is for those

who know there's plenty left to which we go on

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

happy or not

you live and live on

making what you will

of the noose you will tie

out of all the rope

you'll be allowed

happy or not

you live and live on

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.


you will not accept any blame for your sins

so don't be surprised when you return

to earth and have yet another pile of shit

for which to atone and wondering what you did

to deserve this

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
some times I'm loved

other times I'm hated

but being me is enough

and stuck in what I'm fated

I can ask all I want

but never get an answer

so I accept the hard cost

and endure life's living cancer

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Monday, January 4, 2016

the best thing about living in the earth is knowing

you'll never get anything right

and as best as you can do you will still be sent

into some pit for your punishment

(yes even if it's a tiny little misstep)

this God does not play nor does God laugh or forgive

but knowing that is better than clinging to delusions

in the name of your idea of God

that one day everything will be alright and the ache

will reach its end (it will end when everything else in creation

finally reaches its conclusion) and you will finally see

for yourself the reality of living by your own lights

you cannot control your destiny because all you can do is

make your own move then relax knowing God will have the last word

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
I have nothing to say to the guardian angel

who leads me through one pile of shit

after another and shrugs and says 

oh it's God will

you were meant to suffer like this

then get the fuck lost

if you're not going to guard me

then who the hell really needs you?

I might as well fruitlessly appeal to God

and get the usual silent brush-off

you see it's hope that leads us astray

it's hope that rouses our mistaken penitences 

and no mercy or forgiveness for trying

but only having nothing to say to God angels or any one

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
a lifetime of deadly sleep

reduces you to this shoreline

where you sit up on the sands

of dull-sunned gray-metal morning at seaside

awakening at last and too late for this skin

but always the hope the carry-over will be less

than expected should I lug it forward to make amends

of this dawning of lethal consciousness

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

this endless payback is enough to crack outright

the soul's stamina and even its devotion

had we known starting out that our punishments

linger longer than a lifetime and what's not settled here

shows up when it will to come up from under memory

to remind you whatever you choose you undergo and endure


Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
hanging small in a corner of the sky

the pitiful soul looks vainly back

on the deserted body

as those in flesh cry for me

where were those tears as I stumbled through

my life wondering what I did to deserve

the painful and dubious love

and the falseness of every yearning turned

the instrument of corrections

that binds us to our sin without mercy or grace

having clawed my way out of this Philip Milito

I am left with damage done and receipt for payment

and the last lament for ignorant righteousness

like a star in this corner of my sky

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.
every plan got blown out of the water

I can't speak for others but I found a floating plank

and nursed the illusion that delivered me

until I washed up on someone's shore

at deficit for nothing we can imagine holds up

against the incoming flood of consequence

and there in the sand I found the fool

who set me adrift here

the flow itself an aspect of the process

but taking me where I truly cannot imagine

my life of self-domination ready to be washed out

and I to undergo the reality of my track through time

calling no shots because we undergo the remaining

plan last to be awakened but among the first to be awake

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

it never bothered me

until the barbarians within us

finally spilled

looked to let go

and refused as I had done times

before to deny my citizenship

and call for the blood

of everyone like me

who had a cutting word

for our folly and our barker god

and saw I and we were doing nothing

nor did it diminish us in their our own eyes

to be angry and to ignore our place

barbarians each and all in relief to savage

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

we all stand at the Great Waterfall

AT path passes beyond us

we forget everything


involved in this perpetual instant

the radiance of rainbow in the foam

and after a countless infinity

we peek out of the spray

and return to our skins

renewed from knowing

its proximity and shared nature

of its world and its imaginings

how could care any longer when we stood

by watery rivulets and forgot literally EVERYTHING?

Content 2008-2016 Philip Milito.

Friday, January 1, 2016


early morning

a watery sun rising

absorbs the coming day

a pale light

gives the silver sides of

the trees

the dim gleam

of distant memory

Content (c) 2008-2016 Philip Milito.