Friday, September 30, 2011

when you stand

squarely in the middle

of nothingness

with nothing to which to aspire

with nothing t0 do or say

with nothing you'd have any business with

you stand in the middle of the only freedom there is

no conditions

no attachments

no advantage or disadvantage

for any situation for they are unformed

and exist only in potentialities

so it is you stand

where no one would want to stand

where would be afraid to stand

having no imagining

of what cannot be imagined

nothingness absolute as no awareness

stand there between lives

in utter nothingness

wonder after the brief void

no time no space

passes what next condition

will claim consciousness

stand there squarely between

where you've been

and where you will go

and feel all your humanity

that drained like piss in a leaking bag

refill in your bladder as some new increment

then when you are asked

when did you come and from where

what do you do and why

how do you do and how do you know so

then you can truly say nowhere

then you can truly say nothing

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

everybody's sorry

nobody meant for things to go so wrong

but things collapse

as all do their part

with some coming out

sweet as honey

while others take the hit full force

and everybody's sorry

and contrition depends on

how well you made out

while God sits on His hands

and lets us work it out

some final reckoning will settle all scores

but oh how fast and loose

the game's played meanwhile...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
oh you will want what was never yours

and I'm in no position to give it

you will just have to find what was never lost

mourning its glaring lack of value

or embellish the tale later when all can hear

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
vampires like you

are numerous

but crosses and garlic

are plentiful also

I count the stakes

and wait for you to appear

I'm Van Helsing with OCD

dedicated to your demise

and after I've pierced your heart

I remove the aromatic necklace necklace necklace

and chaw chaw chaw chaw chaw

and chaw chaw on your neck in imitation

no one would tell us apart...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

I'd be ripe for repentance

but my will is broken by God's vengeance itself

so I'll lay down my anger my hatred my sorrow

and wait and wait and wait on the One

at some point my blank mind

will wash me clean

at some point my empty soul

will fill again with life

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
people think I'm kidding

when I talk of justifiable homicide

they're wrong

I really can't stand my fellow man

don't give me that brother brother brother shit

I find it hard to love and forgive

anyone who holds a knife to my throat

in love or in hate

and wants a blessing from me

so I'm not a good Christian

so I failed miserably

to turn the other cheek and get it slapped

for my pains

that's for me and God (that other beauty)

to wrangle over

forgiven or not

I'm through with this shit

as it is in Actuality everybody for himself and let God decide

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I took a guess

I got it right

now no one will leave me alone

they want betting tips

they want romantic advice

they want someone to decide their way for them

so I took a guess

and lied about the result

now no one will leave me alone...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
now there is nothing I will claim

you want what you covet then you take the blame

and for all my error then I'll do the same

while you take all you've taken to go back to where you came

each of us content with our way

each of us in our way

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
life is never the same

from second to second

from instant to instant

we are renewed

we are never the same

from moment to moment

from then to when

life is new

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I cannot condone any wrong

even if it's sanctioned by God

to correct some other wrong

or to set some part of His plan to rights

the God who claims to be able to do anything

doesn't do much of anything

in a timely and helpful manner

ignoring that this creation is His design

but leaving the liability on us

and that is hardest to accept before we may

transcend nor can we consciously actively want it

think of the sins of pride that would unleash

and so we are driven

some of us to sorrowful acquiescence

and others to murdering others

because they can't kill God

but I'll tend to myself for starters

and will not condone any wrongs

even if it means God's doings are vaster than known

even if it means my own attempts at good do me in

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I love the way media branded

as a hoax

the criminally honest broker

who admitted Goldman-Sachs runs the World

as if spin could give the impression

we're not all under the glass

or hide the fact that the puny egotists

who want to dominate creation

(as if they could contain God's wisdom

in their deluded skulls

and utilize it as you would

a remote control clicker)

and that God would allow this evil to run free

even if it's to allow everyone a chance

to absolve their karma and

work out their destiny

I don't know why Jesus bothered

why he wasted his blood

for these intractably dogged maniacs

and I don't care if I'm punished for saying so

(even God it seems won't bear the truth)

but if God Almighty and His own creatures

have no scruples in this World

all I can do is be sorry that I bothered

to distinguish some paltry right from some merciless wrong...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

content is over-rated

as if anyone knew what he was saying

or understood the ramifications

give up on this foolishness

that you have anything important to say

and grunt like a bear instead

oh purity of expression

oh puzzle to the intellectual simian

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
so I watch feet slog heavily down a ramp

to their cars to call it a day and go home

it could be any workplace anywhere in the world

at any quitting time there is

the line thinned out a long time ago

I stayed because there was

nowhere else I wanted to be

I love places where nothing is happening

after a day of non-stop activity

I like the contrast between

my strokes and the architecture

dormant with the day's vacancy

and my love of stasis

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I'm tired of being the same moaning fool

who's forgotten all the good he's experienced

between the bouts of jagged occurance

we call our life stories

I'd rather go where there is no longer grief and pain

I'd rather cash out and leave the casino

tired of being the ticket holder every drunken floozy thinks

is the ride to the next tired plunger awaiting his epiphany

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

once you say good bye

you're gone

once you leave

there's no place for you there any longer

once you've departed

arrive elsewhere

because you don't belong any longer

where you were

Content (c) 2011 Philip Milito.
forgive me friends and readers

but everyone's on my last nerve today

from God Almighty Himself down

to the least of His ambulatory cancers

from young pompous ignoramuses

who think their opinions matter

to old cranky know-it-alls (how I fear

becoming like them oh Christ no!!!)

bitter because they still resent what playmates they missed

while ignoring the bounty they had

from upwardly mobile snots who think

this whole world was created to serve them and their spawn

and who demand the Constitution and the Bill of Rights

be abolished so their little nosewipes will be protected

from Big Bad Reality

to the aging rebels whose drug use now is medicinal

rather than consciousness expanding

and whose anti-hero antics have become

the routines of circus clowns

given how completely the Bad Guys have taken over the Big Top

how utterly they've won in their conquest of our human freedoms

and how God Himself mandates this time in our history

with yet another soul-group entering the World

through the cunts of their chosen mothers

to atone yet again yet again

their sins against the all-poweful all-demanding One

so forgive me dear friends and readers

I'm yelling for help as I cling to a cliff edge

and God comes to put His foot full down

on my whitened knuckles

because I forgot to say 'pretty please?'

I'm tired and pained and bored

for one as vast and mysterious as the One

certainly is dull and predictable as gravity

and to endure

is to waste away like water in sand

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
perhaps it's appropriate

to leave the world in rancor and bitterness

it makes such a definitive division

between the fixed painful earth

and the flowing unconflicted sky

oh I know what Buddha said

about one's last thought in life

but maybe

just maybe

that beaten down despair

of leaving this fractured life

holds in it the calm the peace

the happy aspiration

of the truer conditions of creation

beyond this shit box we call the World

(earth a beautiful planet to be sure

but one a world of which we ever make a shit box)

so in handling the terms and snares of which

I know to be this life

(and then only what and how much I know

I make no claims for transcendence)

my ache and resentment and weariness

of being in this world

can only make me light and happy

knowing a freedom from this particular identity

will be soon enough

same for you and all you love

same for them

same for others

and so on until the last sleeping soul awakes

free of the fixed painful earth

and embraced in the flowing unconflicted sky

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
how tiresome false friends become

when they've told the same excuse

one too many times

and don't even remember doing so

how easy it is to be sincere

when you've nothing at stake

but getting clear of an involvement

disavowing words given in less demanding times

how past due

every empty promise you never thought

others could see through could be sidestepped

and evaded but when your lying hurts another then

how done you are in everyone's eyes

and suddenly even someone as fake as you can

feel the frostiness and start sounding the wall

for your last way out

how much like you this clumsiness

when caught in some feeble explanation

and how hollow the ringing of your charm

as you try to talk your way out of your own shit

how much you've just lost you'll never get back

how much you'll never know how many pegged you right

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
now that you know no one loves you

except in their ignorance or their lies

you can go on being what you are

they don't know and you don't care

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
you are as treacherous as a spring thaw



false and eloquent behind someone's back

and full of poor excuses

as you evade showing even the rudiments

of civility

(not even a card of condolence after a death

in the family)

but "oh I'm so sorry...words cannot say...

I was stressed...I was having a hard time...

oh I'm not such a good friend am I?"


you're not

which is why it's so easy now to dismiss you

say what you will

(you're so brave when the subject isn't present)

but you don't know

how small you look

and how faint your sound

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
you will learn the hard way

why no one loves you

and even then you'll

spin it to your own satisfaction

a majority of one in unreality

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
you think you know the score

that's a laugh

you don't even know how

to play the game

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
please don't meddle

in my salvation

don't put yourself

in the center of everyone's drama

you are not welcome

whether or not you hear what's said to you

you are not welcome

go find your own space and stay there...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I'm sorry I bothered

to get through to you

you were fully immune

to all I tried to do

now the wreck is established

is creaks on its own

and you will deny it 'til

they roll back your stone

and I can sit still denying

all for which I'd striven

in the name of aid

and remained un-given

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

the comedy continues

found in the sufferings of others

but rarely in our own

any wonder some Almighty

holds mercy at a premium

your divine belly laugh comes

straight from the gut

in the resolution of someone else's punch line

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Monday, September 26, 2011

there is no more preparation

can be done on my part

to go any further I'd have

to experience death

so I could have a complete context


the rest of the way

is a race

with reins between my teeth

like that character in True Grit

that Rooster fellow

against some imagined enemies

ceaselessly stalking

the rest of the time

is a gamble

both hands holding dice

while I try to clutched some imagined prize

note the word 'imagined'

there is the rub

I can do no more than I've done

for my 'imagined' finish

but even with death as a context

my imagination will fold

before the austere reality of the Actual

my death the death of the imagination

and the birth

a birth of vision beyond imagination

for this there is no other preparation than

finally abandoning the notion of preparation

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I thought about it

then thought again

until thought became nothing

but thought about thinking

I arrived at no conclusion

figured out no vast puzzle

comprehended no truth

absolute or otherwise

how much lost in thinking

how much lost in hoping

how much lost in waiting

for thought to fulfill itself

in realization more imponderable

than I had thought

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I never thought I'd go this way

broken defeated and at a loss

despite the love of those

who loved me

despite all the love

I lacked for myself

without these others

I'd be dead and gone

down some deep hole of perdition

but their love has floated me

and my cynical mouth can no longer

ignore that bitterly joyous fact

hosannas hosannas yes indeed

I have the love and that's all I need

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
love will treat you right

if you let

just claim nothing for yourself

and all will be yours

try explaining that

to those who only know

the pleasures of all they can touch

and feel and hold

and even in their ultimate loss

love will treat them right

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I've pushed too far already

I may have driven the last nail

in my coffin

but a finish line awaits

at the end of all our races

and we won't know until we've passed it

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
what now don't you understand

inside your great heart


nothing at all

you just have to find

and remember

and care

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
hapless as my life has been

there's plenty to be happy about

I'd share them with you

but without a lifetime's worth of background

you wouldn't get it and wouldn't care

hapless as your life has been

you also have much

to be happy about

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
the things I miss

I'll always have

deep in heart

deep in mind

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
God is moving in for the kill

He'll sap your strength and break your will

and all for the price He demands you pay

to gather your toll to be on the Way

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

our loves and our griefs

are equally ephemeral

at the earthly finish each of us is utterly

alone in the earth

our consciousness gone

of all we desired and pursued

with all the vigor we should have used

to pursue our place

in the firmament

but until time is called for

all creation

we will learn not to mourn

the bodies we've left behind

we will learn not to mourn

the limited hopes of each incarnation

we will learn not to mourn

again and again until we've run out of 'agains'

we will learn not to mourn...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
no one wants to hear about love

they're too busy tyrannizing

the object of their projection

to want to be reminded

of their own lack of love...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

I may wake up desultory and brought down tomorrow

because this ecstatic morning has passed

and the pain of returning to the stone ways of the World

will claim my energies once again

but today's immersion in the Eternal Moment

will sustain me yet

whatever time I have left in this skin

it is but mere moments until my release

no matter how long that time takes to get here...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito
powerful love

reasserts itself in my soul

I thought I was done

I thought I was finished

well a part of me was

a part of me is

but the other part grows stronger

awakes from its drugged sleep of fear and ignorance

and knows again the dawn

the morning and the high noon itself...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
the soul knows only its burden

but the spirit knows its strength

may spirit overthrow soul's misery

and both benefit from the release

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

ghosts are disappearing from my life

have I finally overcome myself?

is God finally opening a way

that won't lead back to a mortal mess

I'm trying to transcend?

oh love

have ghosts finally found their satisfaction

and seen fit to leave me alone?

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
knowing you move through this world

keeps me moving through this world

remembering the consciousness born in me

and forgetting the distractions of earthly life

that mock all desire all spirit all love...

knowing you are alive

keeps me alive and being alive means

the darkness of the World will never prevail...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
you drive me to every edge

the embodiment of every woman I ever wanted

here now to mock the aging body

but praise the everlasting soul...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
your beauty graciousness and kindness

are a standard none of the movie goddesses you worship

can match

you are so firmly among them

it is as if they are all subsumed in your soul

and manifested through unspeakable wonder

we may never meet face to face

but knowing your presence is in the world

is enough for an ersatz poet like me

to derive all the inspiration and sustenance

he needs to idolize the feminine principle

that has always baffled and bewildered him

bless you

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I'm glad I've forgotten myself

now I can enjoy the movie

catch the ball game

ogle the tootsies

eat food that will kill me

then say my prayers and go to sleep

I'm glad I've forgotten

I'm serious

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
for the fool who loves

a fool to love

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
God weeps for us

thanks soooo much oh Lord

thou art a pillar in time of sorrow

much like Lot's wife...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
like the Lone Ranger on acid

giving a hearty "Hi-Ho Fuck"

without any connection to anything in his world

or this one

I'm Tonto

running like hell

from this asshole

not caring what solid he did me

or I him in return

there's only so far you can ride

before the sun does its work

and you and the horse you rode in on

are lying in some desert outside society


but at least as your own skeleton

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
anxiety crushes my teeth together

as I sleep fitfully

wondering what little thing

will sneak up behind me

and bite me on the ass

what imbecile's thoughtless move

will toss away all for which I've striven

or what secret from deep in the past

will jump out and moon me

as I'm one step from salvation


how can imagine a world without anxiety

or a world with teeth left...?

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
the shadow that was long in the morning

stretches long again at evening

the high noon of our time

fading into remembrance

as the sun that blinded us at sunrise

eases down beyond the horizon

and darkening eyes close

on the day

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
you dig your own grave

and God tamps down the dirt

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Monday, September 19, 2011

circles seem to continue

to close around me

today I sat forlorn on a bench

watching nameless traffic

and flashed on a similar autumn morning

42 years ago

a cool hazy morning

when I was at an absolute loss to know

what direction my life would be taking

and all the hopelessness

of knowing my spiritual endowment

might be a cruel joke

that would lead me from downfall to downfall

with occasional peaks that would

only set me up for the next fall

prophets of 'positive thinking' may say

I set myself up

but how facile their beliefs

how completely they disregard

karma and its inexorable demands

they'll never know in the skins of this lifetime

how fortunate they are

and how their blessings have insulated them

from the truths of others

I cannot say yes or no to anything or anyone

we all bungle the job so thoroughly

and so blindly

and sometimes even the most well-meant teaching

leads the sayer into the grossest snares of vanity

and unconscious pride

so blame is evenly spread

even onto the Almighty who claims no fault

in creating creation to these very strictures

"I gave the pattern for all roses

if a petals wilts I'm not to blame"

no? as if there were some other force in reality

than the Ineffable Itself causing this mischief?

and oh the punishment for daring to say so!

the drop in Grace for daring to question

the One who demands absolute obedience

and will brook no opposition from Its creatures

on pain of perishing and being eliminated from Life

oh if the One could be as forgiving and gracious

as It demands we be

maybe just maybe we'd see a way through these travails

other than the destruction of all we hold dear

but all we hold dear is as ephemeral as ourselves and our loves

and mercy seems not in the divine vocabulary

here the anguish of the Renunication that we're taught

gains All

what of us poor humble fools who just want to be part of the All

in our places as our own entities

our rightful parts in All That Is?

evidently we cannot get that right either

and no enlightenment comes except at the force

of the Almighty Fist pounding all false notions

of Love and Grace and Mercy and Forgiveness

out of us

and with this as the case


how much longer

until acquiescence?

the total surrender to the Living Fabric of Life?

I don't know I don't know I don't know

I just see scenes repeated in my life

desultory mornings of hopelessness

dark nights of cold fear and despair

comforting in their weird way by familiarity

as circle after circle in my life

closes and I am lead out of this life

the way I came in

ignorant and frightened

but with an uncanny calm

as if subconsciously all the miseries were beginning to slip away

and if nothing else

a relief were waiting beyond the finish line

of this life's race

a trip through some 'winner's circle'

and on to release and peace

even if I had to return

in some future condition to continue

the atonement of my errors

at least it wouldn't be this life

of shames and sorrows beyond endurance

because yet I

yet we endure

for what further grief or what ultimate transcendence

who but the One knows

when or where or how...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

I'm given to fits

of ecstasy and despair

the old mystic privations

known through the centuries

to those who'd prefer to ignore

such individuals and such experiences

if they cannot eliminate them outright

but no

from generation to generation

from age to age

we persist in popping up

like so many lost relatives

after a lottery win

we're spiritual disturbers of the peace

and life after life

it is our mission to call out

the criminally smug and the pathologically power-mad

be they popes kings and CEOs

or or common greedy merchant or wife-beating failure

to shake them up with our shabby presence

to ever warn of woe that is yet to come

as the proverbial thief in the night

but it is not ours to say when

it is only ours to drop our pants

and moon the royal procession

or to reach out to a red-faced raver

and tweak his nose

ours being the dark comedy of prophecy

a warming up of the crowds in advance

of that Main Attraction

that is yet to arrive...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
that's one difference

between me and this current generation

I do as I please

they do as they're told

and they have a mindset that thinks

in some objective way that I'm in the wrong

as a race we've lost more than our freedom

we've lost our very will

and those like me who know otherwise

know our days are numbered

so let us return in some future age to repent this

for the time being the damage is done

now it makes no difference

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
any target will do

when you're taking aim

but can't shoot straight anyway

besides everybody is someone else's mirror

look at anyone

you'll find you

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
all my selves jostle in my one skin

which one will I be today?

which one will I be half an hour from now?

you all must know what I'm saying

scowling after being chewed out by your boss

you leave his office and there's his new secretary

with her stereotypical tight low-cut blouse

and suddenly you're a lounge lizard's idea of Casanova

or going out after work mocking one's fashion sense

then a second later helping a blind person across the street

if God were as simple-minded as his worshippers

we'd be worse off than we are now

(and don't think I don't wonder sometimes)

ah but when push comes to shove

what self would we want to be called out on?

I'll leave with this question

because I'm not even sure for myself at the moment...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
it's said when you give love

and get hate and injury in return

it's because you are dealing with a projection of yourself

not always

often someone may overstep their own bounds

and intrude on your path and do that harm

it's not always about you

and your projections

which may just reinforce the essential selfishness

inherent in our sense of identity

in those messy tangles

trying to make 'me' 'we'

trying to get past our separate existences

to get to our single essence...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
my regrets scream from my blood

as I type this out


a keyboard

how quaint)

as nimbly as manipulating a razor

on the skin of the throat

how many veins must I open

for you to hear and understand

or for me to quit and acquiesce?

so the stalemate in human communications

you can't live for me

and I can't die for you

so some of us mumble and others say "eh?"

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

how spirit and flesh war in us all!

and how much more keenly we feel it

as we age...

the soul ever young

even as the body withers

under every expenditure of passion

and the ache

anathema here where

only fools are wise...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito
the past piles up

in my mind and soul

it is the content of my being

and the weight of my quest

as I blunder forward

as every face of those who did me down

hold up from their holes

to see who's joining them now

the past is eternally present

as we all find out to our dismay

threads from one lifetime to the next

connecting us to ourselves

I don't want to be me or you

but rather some pure entity that forgives

its own pain and ignorance

and if we get there

then maybe the Great Forgetting will merge all

we thought we were

into who we actually are

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I'm HOT for you

(you'd think I'd know better

at my age)

breasts legs heart-shaped ass

touch the Spirit of Desire in me

while my aging body laughs at me

as deceitfully as you do

and the heat is nothing more than ambers

that refuse to die

do me anyway

I'll get you off

my years have taught me

it's more pleasure to give than receive

and you in the arrogance of your young beauty

will stop laughing at that

one of these days

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I pity those who proclaim their uniqueness

we're all distinct parts

of One dreary Sameness

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
the vastness of all space

is enclosed in my heart

this is true

of all of us

and why we get lost so easily

when we follow our hearts

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Friday, September 16, 2011

I had a dream I won't repeat

concerning people you don't know

do they exist?

do you? do I?

can you hear me

and if so why?

and if I awake

will I tell you so?

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
the World

as history has known it

has ended

what World we're living in now

is a mere brand name

slapped on an inferior product

welcome to Anti-Christ Marketing!

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
we're all on the edge now

pretty crowded ledge

the narrow ground keeps crumbling away

and one person slipping off

grabs the ankle of the person next to him

and that person starts going over

and grabs the next ankle

who in turn...

a string of persons hanging on to the one above them

and the last person holding on

has an itch in their armpit

I'm at the bottom of this chain

and feel flames licking up from the abyss below

around my ass

with my eyes on the chain above me

that's faltering...

I wonder what we'll look at to what

Divine Eye is watching

weeping with us

as we plummet

and letting us plummet...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

no plan holds

no objective is sustained

there is only our intent

in our hearts

and that is what

guides us

as we negotiate our free-fall

to what landing fate has for us

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito
God where art thou?

are You behind this bush?

is that You in the thunder?

how does it feel to tear the ground as the shoot sprouts?

God what is with You

that love is the pang of fear and sorrow in every hope?

that pain is the residue of all devotion?

that despair only is left all commitment devolves to nothingness?

maybe in Your darkness

there is Light too bright for mere eyes to see

maybe in all throes of love

lie the hate of being bound in the earth

but as every cry comes unto Your cold cruel vastness

where is the Ear therein to hear? where the Heart in You?

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
love is inexhaustible I'm told

the more you give the more there is to give

but while to love is good

to be loved is better

and why in for love's sake does it always seem

God is holding out on us?

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
revolt is useless

the whole World is under control

of business and finance

and all technology guards their positions

maybe the street corner cranks are right

it will take some apocalyptic cataclysm

to wipe the slate clean

and even then what will keep human nature

from re-asserting the perpetual patterns

of greed and power and pride?

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
God's eye may be on the sparrow
but his foot is certainly on my neck

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
the worse that can happen is I'd wake up

from the nightmare of the World

and find myself in the World

no escape no rescue no hope of permanence

let us hope for the best...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
dead stop

at the center of my world

I'm held in place

by consequence and every judgment

of the Almighty

and the repentance is slow and hard

and uncertain

here in the middle of hazy autumn heat

on some afternoon in purgatory

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Monday, September 12, 2011

in the middle of the clamor and strife

he slipped away unnoticed

just as no one saw him come

no one had seen him go

and while he was here he was occasionally noticed

his words were noted

and were cherished by a few but ignored by many

it was only an afterthought

when somebody noticed

he wasn't there any longer

and the few who quoted him weren't too sure

where they'd heard these words before

while the many heard and promptly forgot them

and so a few stragglers stumble upon these words

from time to time

ponder their import and say "well how 'bout that!"

then they go on their way

and maybe some echo will ring

deep in the mind

maybe some chance happening

happening right in front of them will recall

these words

of wisdom or experience or just plain nonsense

and maybe these few will recall enough to pass these words on

to equally equivocal attention

but somewhere the words will echo

preserved in a forever we've forgotten about

and somewhere somebody will hear them

and find them of use...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

this far

only to collapse before the finish

which means I am finished

and this is it

so much for being done

so far

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

2 hard boiled eggs

two slices of toast (dry)

cup of black coffee (pronounced caw-fee) no sugar

a glass of orange juice

a vitamin pill

and bleary eyes staring out the coffee shop window

morning in America

morning all over the world

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I had a moment

where I thought all was possible

but the moment passed

and yes I thought all was possible

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
a smart ass

knows his shit...

Content 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
you have the answer to my unasked question

but you will break my balls and make me say it

alright you power-mad psycho

when you whip me for doing your bidding

you enjoy it don't you?

ah that smug smirk there's the answer I've waited on

now ask me a question so I may spite you

with my newly cut-out tongue hauf hauf hauf

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
the way is closing behind me

I've nowhere to go but on

but that's where I was heading anyway

let God strong-arm as He will

the sorry are sorry because they know better

than to pretend it never mattered

and because no absolute power

is ever satisfied

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
no reason to cry out

it's all in vain

no one hears

and no heart will sustain

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
fortitude is the dimmest flicker of a failing candle

but it is the only light we have with which to see ahead

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I'm no shaman

I couldn't lead lemmings to a cliff edge

if I had to

so if I knew what would happen next

I'd probably grab my grip and my go-bag

and leave a cloud of dust trailing down the road

but surprise surprise

better cautious than unprepared

I'd find for myself I wouldn't be alone on that road

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
in memory of the dead of this day

and all who have fallen since

to the new manifestation of Pure Evil

that is pushing the World to what new dispensation

God will have the last word

but here in the earth at this time

how sore tested we are

waiting for God to stop clearing His throat

and say it out plain at last!!!!!

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
wickedness is highly subjective

much harm can come from goodness

misapplied into tainted purpose

while there are a lot of good ways

for a man to be wicked

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
what new crisis

what new alarm

what new terror

stalking us to our graves?

just our folly

just our consequence

just our reckonings

laying us down in retribution

rest in peace if peace you have

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I have as many reasons

to be happy

as I have to be nonplussed

about being happy

I take wild guesses

but cannot fathom

into what bemusement

imagination leads me

but I will

draw the line

at imitating that

Amish mechanic

i.e. I'm not that eager to find out...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

your beauty is the blinding light

of the heavenly host

held in exquisite Italian skin

bronzed by the fire of the sun

your beauty is the beacon

for souls lost in the confusion

of the aether

as they search for the way forward

your beauty is the manifestation of heaven

here in the dark earth

where saints and artists who think they are

at cross-purposes fin the resolution of their aspirations

your beauty is a gift of the God

who tempts us with our own ideas of paradise

only to reward us with your presence

in our deepest hearts

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

plan A crapped out

plan B also did not work

plan C fell apart

plan D is sinking off the pier as I write

there is no plan E or F or G

with nothing holding

all I can do

is glide in free flight

with a chart in my (wait for it) heart

and an eagle eye out

for where the hell

I'm going to land

there's my plan H

get there in one piece

and sit tight

for the next upheaval

to open a way

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

I'm one of many

lost in the shuffle around you

2,557th in line signaling

me! me! over here! here I am!

so many assume the shapes of your fragrances

wish to swirl around your hair

while I want to be your hair

covering you like a veil around your desires

me! here! over here!

here we are

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
I stared at your picture the whole evening

the half-closed flirtatious eyes beaming through

slits like black light

the crossed legs the open toed mule dangling

off the cocked foot

I stared at your picture the whole evening

but you did not materialize

you did not step out of the frame and come to me...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Monday, September 5, 2011

the beauty of women

is a manifestation of angels

so say boys and men

and some other women too

we wuv dat stuff

we flinch under the scold

we kick trash on the sidewalk after fights

we cry on park benches or abandoned bedrooms

we loiter we stall we turn and go home

we open the door tentatively

we regard each other with caution

we talk we argue we stay silent

breathing deeply

then slowly we turn slowly we relent

it's not the way it was

but worse or better depending on our honesty

then the shuddering surrender

the trembling forgiveness

the embrace the healing kisses

and in the clinch the shining begins to grow

brighter and brighter

and repentant under the fading pain again

a manifestation of angels

pours from the beauty of women

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

I always seem to be approaching
but I never seem to arrive

I don't know what worse fate
is in store for me

but all I do seems to be for nothing
(or at best for anyone but myself)

and maybe that's for the best
I certainly can't find any way

to make better all I've wrecked
with my good intentions

and everywhere else I go looks much like
every place I've left behind

oh Lord of torment and boredom
I offer you this half-assed prayer

of desperate atonement for who but You
knows how or what or why

and maybe that's for the best
since everywhere I go is almost here

always approaching
but never arriving

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
on the other side of some train tracks
I see a child sitting in a tangle of plant leaves
The child is in no apparent danger
I just happen to see it (looks like a baby girl) as
I am about to cross the tracks
when I look and see an oncoming train
appear from under the arch of a nearby tree
I say "Oh not now!" as I step back
and the train chugs past with a railroad utility truck following behind

I am about to enter a house (doesn't look like any I've ever lived in)
there are copters flying about overhead
as I go in an official looking man asks for a drop of blood
as if this were a requirement to enter the house
I say "Why?" but he insists so I ask "Who are you?"
he shows me what looks like a prayer book
as if to confirm his authority
I say "That's not good enough" he shrugs and
turns away preceding me as we enter the house

Inside I go to a large window and look out to see
a hearse parked by a curb
a cordon of policemen are on either side of me
one cop with his hands on my shoulder
restraining me
I see on an opposite house a Greek Orthodox priest
wearing a huge cross climbing over the roof
I strain to look out up and down the street
but the cop keeps holding me
I say "What are you afraid of? There're cops all over!"
He relaxes his grip and releases me
We all stand there looking out at the empty hearse

I wake up to a cramp in my left thigh...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

the rebels continue to sag

Patti Smith wrote a memoir about her time
with Mapplethorpe and now turns it into a screenplay
(ah--a little something for the retirement fund)

one of the Ramones is a deep dish conservative

and somehow I never hope to see Lou Reed
sing again about being "saved by rock 'n' roll"

I'd say "what the hell happened?" but I
but we all know

we've gotten old
we're the elders now

we've run our course
we've done our time

and while some young'uns will carry the torch further
in their stumbling way
most of the rest of the incoming and future citizens
won't give a damn "at awwall not at awwall"

all this pushing life to the utmost limits
to test our God-given gifts
so we can become courses and footnotes

for some specialists ages hence...

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.
a new month

a new season in hell

after centuries of speculation

we are finally seeing Apocalypse unfold around us

set in the stone of God's Will

as slow as painful as merciless as unforgiving

as God Him/Her/Itself

this is man wolf to man

this is brother against brother

this is male and female energy

the natural compliment

against itself and each other

this is the slow death

and I don't care where I end up

I'll be happy to be done

with this world

Content (c) 2008-2011 Philip Milito.